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Song Challenge! - Part 80
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Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: katlaughing Date: 18 Jan 02 - 05:49 PM From the GG, posted by her "fill-in!" Oh, boy! See what you can do with THIS one!!*BG*
London (August 2001) -- Female athletes competing for Britain in the World Championships say their official team knickers are too skimpy. The runners are worried they will be flashing their bottoms at spectators.
Officials say they don't want athletes to feel uncomfortable and have allowed them to wear last year's Olympic kit.
Kathy Butler, who is competing in the 5000m at the championships in Canada, says the small knickers have left athletes with a dilemma.
"If you pull them up you can see your bum and when you pull them down you can see your hips. They just don't fit properly," she said.
She added: "I can't find my old Olympic ones, so I'll be wearing the hipsters."
A spokesman for UK Athletics said that officials have given the all-clear for runners to wear last year's design.
"Something had to be done. We can't ask our top athletes to run 25 laps wearing something they feel uncomfortable in," he said.
THAT'S IT!! Go to it you Challengers!! Make her proud!!
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Matthew Edwards Date: 18 Jan 02 - 06:27 PM Before derrymacash gets here with words for Queen of the Rushes here are some words to the tune of that old favourite She'll be coming round the mountain. Please, anybody, feel free to add more verses.
She'll be wearing skimpy knickers when she runs, |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Amos Date: 18 Jan 02 - 09:33 PM Those Olympic Knickers
Click for MP3
How oft to my mind spring those Olympic runners I was only a bachelor, a single so lonesome Chorus:
Those Olympic knickers, they made the crowd snicker!
Now, I've got to tell you after ten years of marriage,
Those Olympic knickers, they made the crowd snicker! |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: katlaughing Date: 18 Jan 02 - 10:10 PM Bravo!! Both of you!! |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Genie Date: 19 Jan 02 - 06:03 PM Well, there's always the old Vaudeville favorite, "Sam, You Made The Pants Too Short!" or Rick Nelson's "Running Bare." I don't have the words to either one of them to parody, so if someone else wants to do it, I'd love to see what you come up with. Genie Matt, short 'n' sweet, like the knickers! Amos, that's a lovely tail ... er, tale! Genie |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Nerd Date: 19 Jan 02 - 11:55 PM Oh, Why Can't I Run like other girls do? How the hell can I run when my buns are in view? cho: Hallelujah! It's my bum, Hallelujah, hips hooray Hallelujah! Give us new knickers or we won't play. Oh, I like my tailor, but he's gotten too bold So my buns or my hips must hang out in the cold. Well, winter has come and I'm out by the trackside Without insulation for my perky backside Oh, I love my fans and my fans love me, But I don't want my arse to be on T.V.! I can't find last year's 'cause that's too long ago So I'll run with my boxers protruding below. Oh why didn't I save up my pants from last year? Well if I had conserved 'em, I wouldn't be here Singin' Hallelujah! It's my bum, Hallelujah, hips hooray Hallelujah! Give us new knickers or we won't play. And poor Kathy Butler will run the 5 K In hipsters, just so she will not have to say Hallelujah! It's my bum, Hallelujah, hips hooray Hallelujah! Give us new knickers or we won't play. I went to the track and bent down for the gun And the starter said "lady, that's a pretty left bun" When next year comes round, I hope to report We won't nix our nickers for being too short Hallelujah! It's my bum, Hallelujah, hips hooray Hallelujah! Give us new knickers or we won't play. |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: katlaughing Date: 20 Jan 02 - 12:22 AM Whoo-Hoo, Nerd!! Good one. Keep 'em coming, folks. We want her to plenty of good laughs when she gets back here!
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 20 Jan 02 - 05:46 PM I don't think you're going to be getting 20+ entries from me this go-round. But you're welcome to whatever emerges! This is a skit on one of Percy French's better known songs ... Oh Mary this racin's a wonderful sight These lassies wear gear that is ever so tight Whenever they're out for a run roun' the track Their runnin' shorts near disappear up their crack The 400 metres, the sprint or the mile I don't watch the race, I'm transfixed by the style Of those lycra-clad lassies I watch on TV From the place where the dark Mournes sweep down to the sea They strain at the blocks with their arse in the air And I can't tear my eyes of their taut derrieres The local girls' hips are all tweedy and wide Not like those young athletes' slender backsides I got satellite now and I neave l'ave home I've no rayson to wander, no rayson to roam They beam in those young honeys from morning till eve To the place where the dark Mournes sweep down to the sea Oh by Jesus above I'm very impressed With the way those athletic young ladies are dressed And me an oul' lech with a wanderin' eye With a taste for a quick flash of rump or of thigh It's better than Playboy or one of those mags Where the hussies strip off and then striddle their legs It's a cause for confession, oh Mary mo chroi In this place where the dark Mournes sweep down to the sea |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: mousethief Date: 21 Jan 02 - 01:36 PM Bare-bottomed Girls (tune: Queen's Fat-bottomed Girls)
I'm a dirty old man
Oh, when they got down on their marks
I'm not one to laugh and snicker
Oh, when they got down on their marks
Hey listen here
Oh, when they got down on their marks Get on the track and run! Copyright ©2002 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 22 Jan 02 - 10:37 AM Another parody of a Percy French song .... this time of "Come Back Paddy Reilly ..." THOSE ATHLETIC LASSIES THAT RACE IN THE BUFF The garden of Eden is vanished they say The birthpace of Adam and Eve But me, I found heaven, last Wednesday On a sports show on my oul' TV There were girls on the screen and their costumes were mean They were flashing their midriffs and thighs Those athetic lassies that race in the buff Have got me subscribing to Sky I used to like Baywatch and exercise shows But now I'm convinced that they're tame Ever since I've discovered the athletic meets I can't wait for the Olympic Games I'll have me a spree of one-handed TV The hours they will fairly whizz by Those athetic lassies that race in the buff Have got me subscribing to Sky
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Amos Date: 22 Jan 02 - 04:27 PM LOL!! What a sad fate for such a classic!! LOL!! Nicely turned, Derry! A |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 22 Jan 02 - 04:45 PM Now the right tune for this kind of contretemps would be the London Derriere.
And having said that I found that someone had already written that one.
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Genie Date: 22 Jan 02 - 04:51 PM Pants-Down Racers Words: Genie Tune: Camptown races Pants-down racers flash their hips Briefs too brief make it hard to run Gonna run so fast, Twenty-five laps is far too long Don't want no buns in sight, Last year's knickers they did the job, This year's knickers bare too much skin, Don't want no buns in sight, Too-short knickers, they make me edgy, Don't wanna run up-tight, |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Amos Date: 22 Jan 02 - 08:18 PM Cracking up, Genie...um...so to speak. :>) A |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Genie Date: 22 Jan 02 - 09:20 PM Well, tanks, Amos! I'm sure Áine will 'crack up,' too, when she reads (sings) your lovely ballad, as well as Matt's, Nerd's, Derrymacash's* (So, what else is new?), Mousethief's, and again Derrymasch's (the ol' "one-handed TV," eh?). I hope our Gaelic Goddess doesn't thrown her back out again laughing when she reads this thread! Genie
*Even though ye've profaned my favorite Irish song! |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 22 Jan 02 - 09:51 PM Must Our Assets Be Uncovered? Words: Sonja W. Oates Tune: (3 guesses) Chorus: I was racin 5000 meters Chorus I don't wanta knock the Committee, If they hide your buns down under Chorus Twenty-five laps are too many Chorus Guess I'll dig out last year's knickers, Chorus I was hopin' for endorsements Chorus (Hurry back to us and to health, Áine!) Sonja |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Bo Vandenberg Date: 22 Jan 02 - 10:13 PM All sorts of beginnings but I just cant make enough of a story out of it. Lots of Titles:
They're off with a flash! Kathy not showing my Butler Coming Up behind in the short stretch Running up the middle Even some hope for: Red is the Rose Red is the rose as around the track she goes (And there's a line about 'lilly of the valley' that I wont touch) But I think something about our atheletes being treated like sex symbols might be more generous.
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Genie Date: 22 Jan 02 - 11:04 PM Run, Kathy, Run Parody Lyrics: Genie Tune: Run, Molly, Run Run Kathy, run! Kathy was the youngest runner on the British team. Run Kathy, run! Kathy said to to the old men, "Don't take me for a tart. "Long Johns would be better, oh, Lord, at least I would be clad. Run Kathy, run! John Bull said to Kathy, "You're runnin' for the Queen, Run Kathy, run! See them crouchin' on the track for the man to shoot that gun. Run Kathy, run! John Bull's beatin' Uncle Sam. Wait, what do I see? Run Kathy, run! So, John Bull said to Molly, " I give! OK? You win! Run Kathy, run! Run Kathy, run! |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 23 Jan 02 - 05:48 AM Another skit on a Percy French number ... this time on "Sweet Marie" All eyes are on me girl Sweet Marie When she runs she's damn near bare Sweet Marie The costume that she wears Rides up her derriere And her top reveals her pair Sweet Marie CHORUS Houl' yer hoult Sweet Marie Don't you boult Sweet Marie Or you'll never win your first Olympic gold Every lecher with a telly Is focussed on your belly As you give it lots of welly Sweet Marie Her brassiere used to separate and lift Now her running pants are creeping up her rift She hears the starting gong And she's thundering along And her pants become a thong Sweet Marie CHORUS I ask if she'd run naked just for me She blushes and she whispers "Wait and see" Says I "Don't be a prude It would do my poor heart good If you hurdled in the nude Sweet Marie" |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Deda Date: 23 Jan 02 - 01:54 PM Dear all, My work load is heavy enough that I barely have time to read this thread, can't really contribute -- except my appreciation! Thought I'd try to do one called "Let it show, let it show, let it show" but time doesn't permit. These are a lot of fun to scan over, hastily. You guys are all just a riot. |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Genie Date: 24 Jan 02 - 01:48 AM Well, I know everyone's busy, but our dear bestower of B.L.O.B.s and cow chips needs something to get her out of her bed and back to her usual good form. How about some more poetic offerings for her to digest when she gets back, eh? Genie |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Genie Date: 25 Jan 02 - 02:45 AM Since Genie is logged in at the computer right now, I'll post this using her cookie, rather than make her log out first. Sonja Skimpy Knicker Short Jeans Words: Sonja W. Oates tune: City Of New Orleans Ridin' up my backside in the back stretch, Brand new knickers showin' half my tail. Shift like thongs, shifting to low-riders Seat constrictors (25 laps of hell!). All around th' Olympic track, you see, My tail sticks out in Calgary, Racin' on past bleachers full of fans, Passin' chicks that have no shame, Shakin' their goods at all the men, And the referees are watchin' our buts and cans. Good grief! You lewd old men, how dare ya? Why'd ya make me show of half me bum When I'm goin' for gold in these Skimpy Knicker Short Jeans And I'm doin' 5000 metres in the noonday sun? Revealin' knickers from the old men in the board room-- Fanny a-flashin', buns a-chafin' sore. Pass the Russian hag that runs full throttle; Go for gold, show 'em what legs are for! And the sons of bitches up there, buns in view, they leer, While their fathers' granny glasses fog with steam. Others think we babes are cheap, joggin' in the noonday heat, And the schizm of our tails is all their dreams. Good grief! You lewd old men, how dare ya? Why'd ya make me show of half me bum When I'm goin' for gold in these Skimpy Knicker Short Jeans And I'm doin' 5000 metres in the noonday sun? Right now in these Skimpy Knicker Short Jeans Chafin' crotch is givin' me the creeps! Halfway home and I'm half bare and squirming Through the knickers-ripping race, just cursin' these *!@!ing briefs! But as the howls and huzzah!s seem To fade into a bad dream, We speedy maids fin'lly hear the news. The Committee says, "You poor, sweet dears, "Next time, you can wear last year's." We gals got the dissappearin' knickers blues. "All right, dear Kathy, we will spare ya! Don't ya know we'd rather see you run. You don't have to wear the Skimpy Knicker Short Jeans When you run 5000 meters in the noonday sun!" |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Amos Date: 25 Jan 02 - 12:23 PM Nicely done indeed, Genie!! LOL! A |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Genie Date: 26 Jan 02 - 01:48 PM Bottom-Baring Briefs Overflowing (Words: Genie; Tune: Loch Lomond) My young bonnie flanks and my young buns ablaze As the sun shines bright on our runnin', Well, me and my teammates, we really want the gold But our bottom-baring briefs are disgruntling! Chorus: Oh some get the high view and some get the low view And near beaver shots they afford you, But me and my teammates will never meet our ends In these bottom-baring briefs overflowing. Our butt cheeks are parted by bun-chafing pants And the cheap-seat oglers are drooling. While we circle true our "hieland hills" they view And the 'moon's' comin' out when we're rolling! Chorus: Oh some get the high view and some get the low view And near beaver shots they afford you, But me and my teammates will never meet our ends In these bottom-baring briefs overflowing. The young ladies plead and the UKA takes heed, "You can wear last year's knickers for this oddyssey; It's a championship stint where seconds cost the win And the runner must not falter out of modesty." Chorus: Oh some got the high view and some got the low view, But no more our butts we'll be showin', No, me and my teammates run no more meets again In these bottom-baring briefs overflowing. |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: GUEST,Hyperabid - long time no see Date: 26 Jan 02 - 07:38 PM Just a brief rejoinder From a long time ex member Aine, Amos, Mbo you'll remember To no real tune I guess as this is to be set To "Sunscreen" by Baz Luhrmann Children of the class of 2002 "Always wear knickers" Be proud of your tight butt Because in later years few will remember what you had then … and many will laugh at what you have now Remember that your fans are divided into equal thirds Those who are proud of and thrilled by your prowess Couch potatoes who watch sports because they are afraid of the sunlight … and those who find female sports titillating but are afraid to buy even a lingerie catalogue Be aware that sad people existed before you They also exist around you And they certainly will exist after you Perhaps more humbling is the fact that they would and could exist without you Enjoy the Power of your Prime Because if an Englishman like me can weep tears of mixed joy and pain When Mohammed Ali lights the Olympic flame He who knocked "our Henry" Cooper down again You'll miss it when it's gone Remember that even though Sir Steve Redgrave won 5 consecutive Olympic golds in an endurance sport Matthew Pinsent might have helped a bit Focus your mind on winning (This next less humorous bit to be mumbled quickly as it always is in our history text books) Like Jessie Owens did in Munich A black man in front of Hitler And don't remember our war as you run harder Try a 6 million Jews – was that in Germany alone? Or 30 million Russians defending their home? (The loud finale) So next time your knickers might ride up your crack Just run for the line … and give the team pants some slack. Hyper Bye all
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Amos Date: 26 Jan 02 - 07:55 PM Hey, Hyoer!! Wait!!! Don't be such an effin' stranger next time, all right??? Miss your buns around here....you, who alwaysd ran for the Gold. A. |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Hyperabid Date: 26 Jan 02 - 08:03 PM Well still here Amos just had a life changing time over the last 2 years can't wait to tell Hyp |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 27 Jan 02 - 02:35 AM Short Shorts ROYAL TEENS
Man, dig that crazy chick This is as many words as there are in the original. Since the artist is "The Royal Teens" this one is doubly appropriate. It may take some looking to see what I have changed. Of course Imagine it being sung by a group of women with English accents. Short Shorts Who wears short shorts? For their sport sports They're such short shorts We don't like short shorts For our sport sports But we wear short shorts
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Genie Date: 27 Jan 02 - 04:21 AM Well, here's one I ain't gonna do, since I don't know many of the words to the original song, but somebody really should do: "Running Track Flash, It's just ass, ass, ass!" (Apologies to Mick Jagger, of course!) Genie §;-) |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: GUEST Date: 27 Jan 02 - 04:55 AM There's a cold wind blowing and the sun is shining There's a cold wind blowing on a shining hiney She's the best As you may guess See her boldly bare her bottom to the rest She reported that her trousers fail the test Cause there's a cold wind blowing on a shining hiney |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 28 Jan 02 - 06:34 AM I couldn't resist a parody of George Jone's "The Race Is On" – a deviation from my usual preoccupation with parodying songs from the Irish canon. (Do these parodies only work if you know the original?) I feel tears welling up from down deep inside My reputation's at stake There's a wedge of cotton and it's irritating The tailfeather that I shake You might think that I'm taking it hard These shorts creepin' 'tween my cheeks But the loneliness of the long distance runner Chokes me up so I can't speak CHORUS Now the race is on and my knickers ride up the back stretch Lycra runners a goin' to the inside My tears are holding back, trying not to fall This friction – I ain't funning – makes me scratch and ache The race is on and it looks like arseache And the winner loses all One day I ventured to run never once suspecting What the final result would be Now I live in fear of those skimpy kecks That have been the ruin of me There's an aching pain in my arse and I blame The costume I'm forced to wear Cos it's up my crack as I run round the track And it chafes my derriere CHORUS
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Genie Date: 28 Jan 02 - 08:39 PM Great, Derry! Wish I'd a thunk of that 'un! Genie |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 29 Jan 02 - 04:04 AM Genie ... Many thanks ... it's an obvious one when it occurs ... but all these things are at the end of the day! ... Aidan |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 29 Jan 02 - 05:53 AM Another flight of fancy. This wee song's a parody of "Muirsheen Durkin".
In the days I used to hurdle
I've hurdled in Killarney |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Genie Date: 09 Jun 02 - 04:05 AM Áine, ya feel like taking a crack* at awarding belated B.L.O.B.s and Cow Chips for this one, now that you're back amongst the living? We Challenge!rs always await like little vulture hatchlings, mouths agape, for the nourshing kudos you so graciously disperse to us! Genie *Naturally, no pun intended. |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Áine Date: 09 Jun 02 - 01:43 PM Dear, sweet, patient Genie -- Darlin', I'm still in recovery from back surgery. It took me a week to get Part 79 done; albeit there were 41 songs to find, copy, format, read through, correct and/or edit, award chips to, validate html code, upload and proof online. That required a lot of time sitting at the computer, and frankly, it hurt. So, I'll be starting on Part 80 later this week, OK? ;-) But, don't worry, all the Challenge!rs' entries will eventually be put into the Songbook, and that's a promise. I just have to be very careful, and do a little at a time. All the best (and keep playing, singing, and writing!), Áine |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Genie Date: 09 Jun 02 - 02:56 PM Dearest Áine, Sorry if I sounded impatient. I do know how long you've been struggling to recover from that awful back injury and how much you've been working to catch up. Don't worry about responding to Part 80 this week. Take your time. I only posted the note because I wasn't sure you considered Part 80 your turf, since it was an interim Challenge! posted on your behalf by Kat. I just wanted you to know, in case there was ever any doubt, that we posters are addicted to your pearls [B.L.O.B.s and Chow Chips] of approbation. The most important thing is for you to take care of yourself, luv! Genie |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: Áine Date: 13 Jun 02 - 03:26 PM Alrightey then, here they are, your long awaited and more than deserved Cow Chip Awards for this Challenge! Sorry it took so long -- but them's the breaks (ouch! I can't believe I said that - hahaha). Thanks and cudos to all you wunnerful, wunnerful, Challenge!rs!! ;-) -- Áine
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: MMario Date: 13 Jun 02 - 03:32 PM Huzzah! |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor Date: 13 Jun 02 - 05:03 PM Áine, I admire your integrity in not awarding my Short Shorts song any kind of animal dung. While I thought the idea to be funny, It is apparently not Dung worthy and so remains fecesless. Of course this also makes the prizes of those whose songs won dung all the sweeter. Missing the dung (perhaps full of it as well) Jack ;) |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 18 Jun 02 - 01:44 PM Thanks so much for the Cow Chips, oh Gaelic Goddess! Glad to have you back amongst us! ~SWO~ |
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