Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 23 Aug 23 - 06:48 PM Dear and e , Most unfortunately, it will not scan or even photograph. It is in the light blue ink of a spirit-master (the alcohol type we loved to smell hot-off-the-press) and was middle of the run. Sincerely, Gargoyle I will ask around |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: and e Date: 22 Aug 23 - 08:36 PM Gargoyle, Would it be possible to get a photo copy of the Penelton RFC songbook? Rugby songbooks are rather rare. My email is 1 @ patrick.xyz IF you like I can also scan and mail back. Thanks! and e |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 08 Sep 18 - 09:18 PM Hello, Ug813 Are you perhaps referring to the immediate "Engineers Song" in this thread? What is the song that you like? Given that you appear to be posting from "Indonisia" and that the anniversary celebration of the "mother hash" in Kuala Lumpur, is happening at this very moment in time..... Please collect a few of the newest "hash/rugby" ditties and post them to this thread. The creativity is ASTOUNDING! Sincerely, Gargoyle |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,u38cg Date: 08 Sep 18 - 08:17 AM > I really like this one. It seems to have been "making the rounds" only within the last year. It's a lot older than that: I heard it from a guy who learnt it in Malaya with Mad Mitch, and it was old then. |
Subject: ADD: Engineers Song (Rugby) From: GUEST,Jeeves Date: 24 Feb 06 - 04:08 PM ENGINEERS SONG An Engineer said before he died A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum An Engineer said before he died An Engineer said before he died And I've no reason to think he lied A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum He married a girl with a cunt so wide A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum He married a girl with a cunt so wide She was never satisfied A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum He built for her a prick of steel A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum He built for her a prick of steel Two brass balls and a bloody great wheel A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum The whole fucking thing was powered by steam A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum The whole fucking thing was powered by steam And the two brass balls were filled with cream A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum He tied her feet to the leg of the bed A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum He tied her feet to the leg of the bed And he tied her hands above her head A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum She lay there and demanded a fuck A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum She lay there and demanded a fuck He shook her hand and wished her luck A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum He fired the boiler and flicked the switch A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum He fired the boiler and flicked the switch She cried for more the filthy bitch A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum Up and up went the level of steam A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum Up and up went the level of steam Down and down went the level of cream A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum And finally that whore did cry A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum And finally that whore did cry Enough! Enough! I'm satisfied!(in high pitched voice) A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum That prick split her from arse to tit A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum That prick split her from arse to tit The whole fucking place was covered in shit A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum They scrapped her up into a bag A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum They scrapped her up into a bag Serves her right for being a slag A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum And now here comes the tragic bit A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum And now here comes the tragic bit There was no way of stopping it A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum It jumped off her and onto him A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum It jumped off her and onto him And then it buggered their next of kin A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum The last time that that prick was seen A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum The last time that that prick was seen It was down in London fucking the queen A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum And finally a child was born A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum And finally a child was born With two brass balls and a fucking great horn A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum The moral of the story should be clear A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum The moral of the story should be clear NEVER FUCK WITH AN ENGINEER! |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,Jack Date: 01 Apr 05 - 07:37 PM I would like to know where the bawdy ballad "Big Rhode Island Red" orginated from - and are they any other versions to the song. Jack |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: wigan Date: 11 Sep 04 - 09:46 AM can't remember the title of the tune,but tis an old english folksong. song in rhyming couplets. after ist line chorus of hey ho said rowley.afetr 2nd with a roly poly up em an stuff em, hey ho said anthony rowley a is for arsehole all covered in shit and b is the bastard who revels in it c is for cunt all covered in cream and d is the dickhead who licks it all clean e is for eunuch with no balls at all and f is the fucker who fucks at them all g is for goitre gonorreah and gout h is the harlot who dishes them out i is the injection you get for the itch while j is the jerk of a dog on a bitch k is the king who shat on his throne and l is the lesbian who fucks all alone m is for maidenhead all tattered and torn n is the noble who died with the horn o is for orifice all cunningly concealed and p is for penis all raedy and peeled q is the quaker who shat in his hat and r is the rascal who rogered the cat s is for shithouse filled to the brim and t are the turds that float there within u is for uterus and uterine duct and v is the virgin who wished she'd been fucked w's the wife who makes it a farce and x y and z you can stick up your arse to the memory of terry baxter |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 05 Sep 04 - 01:31 AM Sailor variation of "Sweet Violets" (aka There once was farmer) DT midi file = http://www.mudcat.org/midi/midifiles/Sweet%20Violets.mid
There was a young sailor who
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 04 Sep 04 - 06:38 AM Home For a RestPerformed by Spirit of the West
You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best We arrived in December and London was cold
chorus
Euston Station the train journey north
chorus
By the light of the moon she'd drift through the streets The gas heater's empty, it's damp as a tomb
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,,gargoyle Date: 03 Sep 04 - 07:06 AM Love Me Tender
Love me tender,
Watch me smile and watch me grin.
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 03 Sep 04 - 02:17 AM What a Wank(TUNE: William Tell Overture)
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank,wank.
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank,wank.
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank,wank.
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank,wank.
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 02 Sep 04 - 04:45 AM I Used to Work in ChicagoAdditional Verses (Rhondda Cynon Taf/Swansea FC Version)
Pork blinds she wanted, beef curtains she go
Witch's collar she wanted, wizard's cuff she
Dry panniers she wanted, sogg saddlebags she got
Smile at a hot she wanted, snarl a the buzby she got
M69 she wanted, Northern route she got
Embroyo custard she wanted, baby gravy she got
Savory sea horse she wanted, chocolate starfish she got
Robin she wanted, thrush she got
Black bowler she wanted, purple helmet she got.
Lech Walesa she wanted, prominent Pole she got
Meatphysical conversation she wanted, f**k she got..
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 01 Sep 04 - 04:54 AM There Is A Green Hill
There is a green hill far away,
He died to save us all,
He's so nice, He's Devine.
He's so great, He's so cool,
He's so nice, He's so fine
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: wigan Date: 31 Aug 04 - 03:37 PM just re-read 3.16. i am a christian and new no pagans et al until after my wife died. guess what,all the wiccans druids pagans gave me the best support i could have wished for. it wasn't asked for or sought but was given freely resulting in a lot of new friendships. reminnds me of the parable of the good samaritan!!! |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: wigan Date: 31 Aug 04 - 03:28 PM gargoyle,will post it but won't have time for a day or so |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 31 Aug 04 - 06:36 AM wigan! PLEASE post the alphabet song - and when/where you first heard it - these folk need to be taught more than a little manners and respect.
The Alternative DELILAH I saw the white of her thighs as I pulled down her panties.
CHORUS
Chomping away on my tool night and day I was happy.
CHORUS
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: wigan Date: 30 Aug 04 - 10:33 AM so! im crude and vulgar?? played rugby for 40 years,and coached junior teams and refereed. didn't stop me looking after a wife dying of cancer for 4.5years. doesn't stop me doing voluntary charity work. GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE. prove you are what you pretend to be, by action not words. when i get time i'll pm the words to the alphabet song. starts a is for arsehole all covered in shit hey ho said roly and b is the bastard who revels in it with a roly poly up 'em and stuff 'em hey ho said anthony roly |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 30 Aug 04 - 05:59 AM The Alternative Yesterday
Yesterday...
Syphilis...
Why she had to grow, I don't know,
Leprosy....
Gonorrhea...
Amputees...
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 30 Aug 04 - 02:16 AM I really like this one. It seems to have been "making the rounds" only within the last year.
Yankee Sailor
Yankee tell me pretty lady,
Yankee tap-tap on my window, Blitish break down f**king door.
Yankee take my clothes off slowly,
Yankee make love on my pillow.
Yankee finish in five minutes,
Yankee, he go home on Friday
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 30 Aug 04 - 01:57 AM I Need A Sheep
Bring me some whisky mother,
Na, na, na, na, na, na etc....
Gerbils don't make it, mother.
Na, na, na, na, na, na etc....
Sheep never talk about it, they never ever doubt it,
Na, na, na, na, na, na etc....
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 29 Aug 04 - 04:09 AM Fragments are found scattered through the "Nice songs made dirty thread"....this is a full version....and some of those other verses would go well also.
These Foolish Things
The tattered remnants of an old French letter,
The dirty panties in the cracked washbasin,
When I awoke upon the moring after,
The birth control book with its well worn pages,
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 29 Aug 04 - 03:57 AM The male version is in the forum -
This is the woman's version
Masturbation(TUNE: Funiculi, Funicula)
Last night I laid at home and masturbated,
You should have seen me on the short strokes,
Eased it, teased it, slid along the floor,
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 29 Aug 04 - 12:02 AM We Are The Cheltenham Boys
We are the Cheltenham boys,
We kan't reed an' we wan't rite,
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 28 Aug 04 - 08:24 PM My Old Man's A Pervert(MGM)
CHORUS:
One day while waiting for the bus, a girl said, "Please come quick."
CHORUS
My mum her name is Dawn, she lives an awful life.
CHORUS
One night he went a-calling upon the vicar's wife.
CHORUS
My old man's a pervert, he wears a pervert's mac.
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 28 Aug 04 - 08:04 PM Ahhh...what a wonderful number fell to that previous song....a shame it could not linger-longer but there are more cumming and they must be fulfilled.
NUDE OF HARLECH(tune: Men of Harlech)
What's the use of wearing panties,
There's such fin in going bra-less,
Nude is what you're born in
Ducks all do it, maidens rue it,
If your garters aren't elastic
If you're tire of wearing clotheses,
Nude is best for ducking!
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 28 Aug 04 - 07:42 PM Rhode Island Red(a song about chicken, I think?)...
Has anybody seen my cock,
He's a right big-headed little upstart,
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 28 Aug 04 - 12:36 PM WHO IS SYLVIA?(Tune - Turkey in the Straw)
Who is Sylvia?
She's a rag bag, a shag bag, an automatic whore.
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 28 Aug 04 - 12:35 PM We'll keep these three kindred songs in the same general piece of the thread.
Mary Ann Burns - Queen of all the Acrobats
Mary Ann Burns is the queen of all the acrobats;
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 28 Aug 04 - 12:12 PM Tiger Lily
Oh her name is TigerLily
She's a big fat cow, twice the size of me,
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 28 Aug 04 - 06:57 AM All the songs, in this general area, are from a songbook published in 2004 by the Cardiff, Wales Hotelier's Association
Give Me a Clone(Home, Home on the Range)
Oh, give me a clone,
Chorus
Clone, clone of my own,
Oh, give be a clone,
My heart's not of stone,
Why should such sex vew,
And after I'm done,
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 28 Aug 04 - 06:37 AM Roll a Silver Dollar(Roller, roller, roller, roller,.......
You can roll a silver dollar, down along the ground,
Listen, my honey, listen to me,
Because a man without a woman
I say a man without a woman is like a wreck up the shore
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 28 Aug 04 - 06:30 AM Your're Welsh!
|
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 28 Aug 04 - 06:20 AM AS noted by diesel in this thread - Ireland Rugby Song http://www.mudcat.org/Detail.CFM?messages__Message_ID=1148046
|
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 27 Aug 04 - 12:55 AM The following series of songs were lyrics obtained in July of 2004 at Cardiff Wales, Mellenium Stadium.
Since so many irrelivant (so-called MUSICAL) threads run into ....so many irrelivant stories here is a Rugby-Thread "irrelivant story" and a "rugby joke".....I do not fear a "dillution of the threa" by less than five percent.
There are damn few ... for sure....on this planet secure....that can claim a lineage more direct. ,
During a Wales v England match at the Millenium Stadium a lightening storm hit Caridff and a bolt was conducted through the towers to the touch line. In a tragic accident both coaches - Graham Henry and Clive Wooward - were killed.
Ther were taken straight to heaven where they were warmly greated by the Almighty. Aftrer a while Clive was taken to thi8s new accommodation, stype cottage with statues outside in the form of English rugby greats. As a constant background he could hear the sweet voices of angels singing Jersualem and Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.
Clive was delighted until he suddenly heard some even more beautiful singing coming from the top of the hill. He listened closer and could her Bread of Heanven follow by Land of My Fathers. Clive looked up the hill to see a great palace with statues outside of Barry John, Gareth Edwards and JPR Willi8ams. A party was taking place in the garden with Grains SA flowing freely as the corwd watched Scott Gibbs scoring his ty at Wembley against England in 1999.
Clive went to The Lord and said: "Look, I dont't want to appear ungrateful - my cottage is great, but why does Graham get the huge mansion?"
God broke into a laugh as he replied: "Clive your've got it all wrong! That';s not Graham's place - it's mine."
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 25 Aug 04 - 01:32 AM I thought the whole world knew this one ....but find it lacking verses in the DT and Forum
(A personal Nigerian View of Colonialism?)
THE FRENCH NATIONAL ANTHEM
A Frenchman went to the lavatory
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 25 Aug 04 - 01:23 AM I guess you could consider this to be the Italian step-sister of the Mexican who married a Nigerian.....you know....the one from Leland Stanford Jr.'s Farm.
GIVE ME THAT GOOD OLD VINOCHORUS Si, si signore, My sister Belinda She pissed out the window All over my brand new sombrero.
|
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 24 Aug 04 - 11:51 AM LAGOS IS STRANGE
Oh, give me a home where the nightfighters roam,
(Chorus):
Oh, Lagos is strange
What a wonderful sight to watch everyone shite
(Chorus)
Now to get into town or just moving around,
(Chorus)
Oh, the last Saturday is for clearing away,
(Chorus)
Mismanagement here, well they like their beer,
(Chorus)
In the circle don't chat, 'cause the R. A.'s no prat,
(Chorus)
Now there are those who come
(Chorus)
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 24 Aug 04 - 11:42 AM THE CLAP
Once upon a time I was a hasher,
(Chorus): I've got the clap again,
One night to the Hash there came a beauty,
Six o'clock Hash Master got his horn out,
This girl showed me she really was no novice,
Drove her home that night, she lived in Lagos,
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 24 Aug 04 - 11:25 AM Ding Dong
On a Sunday afternoon
Now there were Ding Dings and there
"Just a minute," said the vicar, "there's a mistake here. |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 24 Aug 04 - 05:40 AM BRIAN BARU
A second variation of of the one found in this thread: http://www.mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=5755
I was up to my waist in the turf-mould
'Twas a chest of the finest bog oak, sir,
I doubt that you'll never believe me,
Yes, an ancienct old Irish French letter,
I cast my mind back through the ages,
I heard remark sternly,
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 24 Aug 04 - 01:00 AM This is usually a Septment/October job...but an injury has sent me home early. I have searched the DT and Forum...and find no versions of these lyrics. Consider them "fresh meat for the gods." Another LAGOS Nigeria song is:
The Rajah From Astrakhan
There was a Rajoh from Astrakhan,
On night he awoke with a hell of a stand,
The warrior fetched the concubine
The Rajah bellowed lound and long
They hit the ground with one hell of a dunt
There is a moral to this tale,
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 24 Aug 04 - 12:40 AM "Sexual Life of the Camel"(variation) THE POOFTER VERSES
JOE'S link .... to a now-dead-thread on AOL ..... is an excellent example....of why lyrics SHOULD be posted to the Mudcat treads (with correct notation and credits) http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=24760#539476 These following verses were purloined from the "Lagos Away Team Pamphlet" in a dark urine-strentched ally of Cardiff, Wales around midnight, in the shadow of Mellenium Stadium, July 2004.
It was an interesting bawdy allustion to several sanguine ballads of the past.
My name is Cecil,
I went for a ride on a chuff-chuff
It was Christmas Eve in the harem (to Mr Bangelstein)
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 12 Apr 04 - 12:06 AM Least it go without notice Father Bill - your fine words were contributed on Easter Sunday 2004.
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,Skipper Date: 11 Apr 04 - 06:26 PM Here's a song for John3:16 It's called Jesus Can't Play Rugby (Sung to the Battle Hymn of the Republic) CHORUS: Free beer for all the ruggers, Free beer for all the ruggers Free beer for all the ruggers, Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves SINGER: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause the Jew won't pay his dues ALL: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause the Jew won't pay his dues Jesus can't play rugby 'cause the Jew won't pay his dues Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves! SINGER: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's only got 12 men ALL: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's only got 12 men Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's only got 12 men Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves! OTHER VERSES: The goal posts give him flashbacks His dad fixes the games He wears illegal headgear He's got holes in his hands He can't support a hooker Jesus can't play touch judge 'cuz his arms point both ways He's nailed to a cross He's got some open wounds He wears illegal spikes Be sure to finish this song with the following verse, to make sure you don't go to hell (for singing this song, at any rate). ALL: Jesus, we're only joking. Jesus, we're only joking. Jesus, we're only joking. Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves. |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs (oops) From: SmokinBill Date: 21 Feb 04 - 05:33 AM apologies... this is the complete message: Here's another one I wrote a few years ago. Unfortunately my rugby club never picked this one up and I have long since retired from the sport (except for occassional old boys matches and other fits of dementia). It's a call and response ditty, and it's designed so people can make up new verses on the fly, just by rhyming with the name of a saint. THERE AIN'T NO SAINTS IN RUGBY (To the tune of "South Australia") Caller: My patron saint is old Saint Mark. Response: Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of? Caller: Shaggin' all the beasts on Noah's ark. Response: That's nothing to be ashamed of. All sing chorus: Oh, that ancient dirty fuck, He'd bite his own mother in a ruck Bless the soul of that asshole Cause there ain't no saints in rugby. My patron saint is old Saint Clare (Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of?) Rainbow-dyeing her pubic hair (That's nothing to be ashamed of) chorus My patron saint is old Saint Nick (Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of?) Teaching the elves to suck his dick (That's nothing to be ashamed of) chorus My patron saint is old Saint John (Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of?) Showing old ladies his hard-on (That's nothing to be ashamed of) .......... I'm sure you can imagine the possibilities for this one. If you're not familiar with the tune, you might want to check out The Pogue's version of "South Australia." I'd love to see this one catch on at post-match drinkups... Maybe I'll get the Union College Old Boys Rugby Football Club to learn it. Smokin' Bill's Digital Depot |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: SmokinBill Date: 21 Feb 04 - 05:06 AM Here's another one I wrote a few years ago. Unfortunately my rugby club never picked this one up and I have long since retired from the sport (except for occassional old boys matches and other fits of dementia). It's a call and response ditty, and it's designed so people can make up new verses on the fly, just by rhyming with the name of a saint. THERE AIN'T NO SAINTS IN RUGBY (To the tune of "South Australia") Caller: My patron saint is old Saint Mark. Response: Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of? Caller: Shaggin' all the beasts on Noah's ark. Response: That's nothing to be ashamed of. All sing chorus: Oh, you ancient dirty fuck, you'd bite your own mother in a ruck |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: SmokinBill Date: 21 Feb 04 - 04:58 AM Okay, I just spent a bloody hour reading your collection. I'm impressed and appropriately disgusted. Here is one of my own songs you might like to add to your repertoire: HERE'S TO THE VAGINA (To the tune of "St. James Infirmary") Here's to the vagina, From whence each of us came. Each vagina is unique, No two are the same. Vaginas are all beautiful, Be they black or brown or white. Some men like them all stretched out, But most prefer them tight. Here's to the vagina... etc. Some vaginas are shaven bald, And some have fur like mink. Some smell sweet like French perfume, But most vaginas stink. Here's to the vagina, etc. When dealing with vagina, Don't act in too much haste. Remember, friends, when you go down, To sniff before you taste. Here's to the vagina ... Smokin' Bill's Digital Depot |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: Joe Offer Date: 15 Feb 03 - 12:32 PM Gargoyle, that's quite a collection. I did my best to fix your HTML where it needed fixing. Now I have another collection of Rugby songs for you to study, francerugby.fr I wish my French were a little better... -Joe Offer- |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: Gareth Date: 17 Nov 02 - 07:04 PM Gargoyle - You old tosser - a correction to your post on We are all queers together/ "I went for a ride on the tram-tram, It was crowded and I had to stand, When a sweet little boy offered his seat, I reached (illegable)…. my hand" Should read :- "Then a sweet little boy offered me his seat, So I reached for it with my hand" And theres the verse youv'e forgoten "I stayed at a posh London hotel, The waiters were all of a kind, I asked for prompt room service, They said it was a little behind" Gareth |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: Joe_F Date: 17 Nov 02 - 06:47 PM Browsing this thread, I discovered that way back in October 2001 I promised a Scottish version of There Was a Monk of Great Renown, but never followed up. Here it is: THERE WAS A MONK OF GREAT RENOWN (As sung at St Andrews University, ca. 1959) 1. NARRATOR (sings): There was a monk of great renown, (3x) Who bought a whore for half a crown. CHORUS CONGREGATION (speaks): The sod! The dirty sod! The bastard deserves to die. NARRATOR (speaks): How shall he die? CONGREGATION (shouts): Fuck him! (After 2. also:) Double-fuck him! (After 3. also:) Triple-fuck him! (After 4. also:) Quadruple-fuck him! NARRATOR (whispers): Shhhh! Here comes the vicar. VICAR (speaks): A prayer for those in trouble. CONGREGATION (shouts): Abortion! VICAR (speaks): A prayer for the frustrated. CONGREGATION (shouts): Fuck! VICAR (speaks): A prayer for the constipated. CONGREGATION (shouts): Shit! VICAR (speaks): A prayer for the castrated. CONGREGATION (shouts): Balls! VICAR (speaks): Gentlemen! What have we said? Let us pray for the soul of Brother Banglestein. CONGREGATION (sings): Glory, glory, hallelujah! Balls for Brother Banglestein, Banglestein, Banglestein, Balls for Brother Banglestein, Dirty old man! For he keeps us waiting While he's masturbating, So balls for Brother Banglestein, Dirty old man! 2. NARRATOR (sings): His brother monks were so annoyed 'Cos with a woman he had toyed, 3. They put an end to all his frolics, For with a knife they cut off his ballocks, 4. And now, bereft of all desire, He sings soprano in the choir, -- --- Joe Fineman jcf@TheWorld.com ||: The end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we :|| ||: started and know the place for the first time. :|| |
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