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What is the worst song you ever heard?2

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Mr Happy 12 Sep 02 - 07:15 PM
Kim C 12 Sep 02 - 06:40 PM
gwonya 12 Sep 02 - 06:23 PM
Little Hawk 12 Sep 02 - 04:13 PM
Venthony 12 Sep 02 - 03:57 PM
Venthony 12 Sep 02 - 03:57 PM
Little Hawk 12 Sep 02 - 03:40 PM
GUEST,Fred Miller 12 Sep 02 - 02:06 PM
Steve Latimer 12 Sep 02 - 01:46 PM
Kim C 12 Sep 02 - 01:35 PM
GUEST,rich_and_dee 12 Sep 02 - 01:19 PM
Little Hawk 12 Sep 02 - 12:39 PM
Steve Latimer 12 Sep 02 - 12:29 PM
Don Firth 12 Sep 02 - 12:28 PM
Little Hawk 12 Sep 02 - 12:25 PM
Don Firth 12 Sep 02 - 12:18 PM
Little Hawk 12 Sep 02 - 12:16 PM
Little Hawk 12 Sep 02 - 11:57 AM
april skies 12 Sep 02 - 10:48 AM
GUEST,Fred Miller 12 Sep 02 - 10:40 AM
gwonya 12 Sep 02 - 10:16 AM
gwonya 12 Sep 02 - 10:14 AM
John P 12 Sep 02 - 09:41 AM
GUEST,Kenyon 12 Sep 02 - 08:08 AM
Janice in NJ 12 Sep 02 - 07:16 AM
Nerd 12 Sep 02 - 01:32 AM
John P 12 Sep 02 - 01:30 AM
Nerd 12 Sep 02 - 01:16 AM
mg 12 Sep 02 - 12:44 AM
Benjamin 11 Sep 02 - 10:36 PM
Morgan 11 Sep 02 - 10:27 PM
Steve Latimer 11 Sep 02 - 10:18 PM
Amergin 11 Sep 02 - 09:36 PM
Leo Condie 11 Sep 02 - 09:32 PM
gwonya 11 Sep 02 - 09:25 PM
Mr Happy 11 Sep 02 - 08:29 PM
GUEST,Just Amy 11 Sep 02 - 06:22 PM
Venthony 11 Sep 02 - 04:37 PM
GUEST,mikey banjo 11 Sep 02 - 03:06 PM
allanwill 11 Sep 02 - 02:46 PM
GUEST,Andy Leader 11 Sep 02 - 02:40 PM
Don Firth 11 Sep 02 - 12:01 PM
Kim C 11 Sep 02 - 11:51 AM
Rick Fielding 11 Sep 02 - 11:44 AM
GUEST,boromir 11 Sep 02 - 11:41 AM
Art Thieme 11 Sep 02 - 11:27 AM
songs2play 11 Sep 02 - 09:42 AM
Mr Happy 11 Sep 02 - 09:19 AM
JudeL 11 Sep 02 - 08:22 AM
GUEST,Another Music Critic 11 Sep 02 - 07:59 AM
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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 07:15 PM

still can't do bloo clikki.its 2 long. go to part 3.

This thread is closed.
Please go to Part Three (click)

Thanks.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Kim C
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 06:40 PM

Well, LH, I don't dance to that kind of stuff anymore, since I took up belly dancing... It was always funny, though, when they did Rate the Record on American Bandstand, someone would inevitably say, "it's got a good beat and you can dance to it." :-)


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: gwonya
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 06:23 PM

The things we do for love.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 04:13 PM

I can understand how one could develop an appreciation for Neil Diamond in such a case. One woman I was in love with was nuts about Julio Iglesias, so I got to hear a lot of Julio and see some videos of him too. I did kind of get to like him after a while.

- LH


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Venthony
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 03:57 PM

Ya know, actually, Neil's early stuff from the mid-60s's is not bad, solely from a pop perspective. Don Kirchner, I believe, produced most of that crap, and for four-track teeny-music, it's OK.

The fact that Mr. Diamond is now a balding, over-dressed Las Vegas nebish is beside the point. He WAS invited to play at The Band's last concert at Winterland (The Last Waltz). So apparently somebody liked him.

AND ... the first girl who ever gave me a real kiss did so to the boss beat of "Solitary Man," so I'm probably not objective.

These days it's all Doc and Norman and Seldon Scene for me. But God bless you Neil -- she was a VERY pretty girl.

Tony


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Venthony
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 03:57 PM

Ya know, actually, Neil's early stuff from the mid-60s's is not bad, solely from a pop perspective. Don Kirchner, I believe, produced most of that crap, and for four-track teeny-music, it's OK.

The fact that Mr. Diamond is now a balding, over-dressed Las Vegas nebish is beside the point. He WAS invited to play at The Band's last concert at Winterland (The Last Waltz). So apparently somebody liked him.

AND ... the first girl who ever gave me a real kiss did so to the boss beat of "Solitary Man," so I'm probably not objective.

These days it's all Doc and Norman and Seldon Scene for me. But God bless you Neil -- she was a VERY pretty girl.

Tony


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 03:40 PM

Exactly, Fred. Narcissism is another word for it. Whitney probably kills fruit flies with a sledge hammer and butters her toast with a double-bladed ax if her recordings are any indication.

Steve - dontcha just love those rotten Dylan & Willie impressions people do, who when questioned can name maybe 3 or 4 songs by Bob and 1 or 2 by Willie? The funniest one I heard was an imitation of Bob singing Happy Birthday that someone did...

Kim - I've always been extraordinarily insensitive and chauvinistic toward songs that "have a good beat and you can dance to". I guess that was just never what I was after when listening to music. Disco actually was great dance music, as far as that goes...and I suppose some Rap is good for that too, depending on the style of dance.

- LH


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 02:06 PM

KimC I'm not sure Whitney's belt-out version is really a song, it's more an example of that style of "singing" where the song serves as an opportunity for the "singer" to admire their own voice. Michael Bolton's Sittin On The Dock Of The Bay. Apparently these people enjoy their own voices a lot more than I do.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 01:46 PM

Well Little Hawk, I need a heavy duty one as the other thing that frequently comes up is, "you know, Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson may have written some great music, but how can anyone listen to them?" This is usually followed by impressions of both of them.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Kim C
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 01:35 PM

LH, Hanky-Panky has a good beat and you can dance to it.

Rich and Dee --- that would be Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs, who also brought us the immortally terrible "Wooly Bully," who, I believe, was a cousin to "Louie Louie."

What about Whitney Houston's belt-out version of "I Will Always Love You"?

Fred, you're right, there's some people out there doing some clever things with studio technology. Now that I'm older, I catch things like that I didn't pay attention to when I was younger. I might hear a song now and say, man, the song stinks, but the arrangement is really good, and how about that production job!

Wasn't there some old song about three guys that got trapped in a cave and they had to eat one of them? I don't think I ever heard it, but I've heard people talk about it. Was it called "Timothy" or something like that?


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,rich_and_dee
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 01:19 PM

"Hanky Panky" was recorded by Tommy James and the Shondells.

"Little Red Riding Hood" was recorded by Sam the Sham. I forget his backup band's name.

An oldies radio station latched onto some song from the early 70's which seems to be called "My Baby Loves Loving". Now, I may not be a perfect gentleman, but there are rules to how much you talk about, shall we use the word 'frequency' when you're in a somewhat serious relationship. This guy wrote a song about it. Besides, the song is plain bad.

Rich


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:39 PM

Well, I guess as long as Neil makes them happy, he's doing his job. Consider purchasing a tongue protector in the meantime.

- LH


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:29 PM

My next door neighbours are wonderful people, we spend a lot of time with them. They're all excited that they're going to see Neil Diamond in a couple of weeks. Oh, the number of times I've bit my tongue.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Don Firth
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:28 PM

Sorry. . . .

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:25 PM

Oh, Don, you heartless, cynical, misogynistic swine...you have just cut 800,000 lovelorn, lonely, housebound women to the quick!

- LH


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Don Firth
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:18 PM

Just about anything by Neil Diamond if you make the mistake of listening to the words! Great stuff otherwise. But the words. . . !!

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:16 PM

I just remembered a very annoying and relentless one...

"My Baby Does The Hanky-Panky" Truly awful.

Did the same guys do "Little Red Riding Hood"? It was truly awful too.

It's true, of course, that most of the Rap and other crap around right now that teenagers are listening to is even worse, but I never listen to it except by accident for a second or two (when it's playing in a boom car or something), and due to that I can't name any of the tunes....

- LH


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 11:57 AM

You've got a lot of nerve...Janice. It's a wonder that ya still know how t' breathe. I feel another song comin' on. A real nasty one. Go sit in a corner and paint yer toenails...babe. :-)

- LH


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: april skies
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 10:48 AM

Worst song ?? Dunno really, too many to choose from.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 10:40 AM

I posted Run for your life on a similar thread on another forum, remember hearing that Lennon always hated it.

My favorite remark from the Dave Barry book was the Beach Boys lyric from Help Me Rhonda; Since she put me down there's been owls puking in my bed. (It's actually "I've been out doin' in my head" but, even if you heard that right, how would you know?)

Which brings up Dylan--it seems silly to call any of those songs misogynist, as though they made any sort of lucid, pointed, sense, as though they were Rock Salt And Nails, or something like that. My only criticism is that he could've found more opportunities to use the word "babe" in It Ain't me, babe--"it ain't me, babe, that you, babe, are looking for. Babe."

Brand New Key was redeemed for me by it's use in Boogie Nights. Just as You Light Up My Life is redeemed by a scene in Happiness. It's worth having horrible songs if someone can use them to such effect.

I'm scared to admit I like some rap (whoops). It began as a folk music, though it's popularity largely bulldozed over the better part of it. Still, some of it is pretty darn good--especially the crowded, complex, multi-voiced stuff, and some of the techno-collage-aesthetic stuff is interesting.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: gwonya
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 10:16 AM

I'd just be really scared, I...I don't know what I'd do.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: gwonya
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 10:14 AM

I Am Woman by Helen Reddy. No offence ladies (Im a bit uncomfortable with Macho Man too). Anyone singing those songs would really scare me to the core. I


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: John P
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 09:41 AM

Here's one that I used to enjoy the music to until I listened to the words: The Beatles, "Run For Your Life".

"Run for your life if you can, little girl. Hide your head in the sand, little girl. I catch you with another man, that's the end, little girl." How poignant.

Another bad song by great musicians: "Almost Cut My Hair" by Crosby, Stills and Nash.

John


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Kenyon
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 08:08 AM

Star-Crossed Lovers. The background singing makes crap lyrics crappier and then "dramatic" narration by a guy who sounds like Ted Kennedy tops it off. By the time the background singers sing, "They didn't see the on-coming car" you are dying of laughter.

Also, Oh, My Pappa was dreadful crap

Ironic by morissete also.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Janice in NJ
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 07:16 AM

Worst song? Bob Dylan's Just Like a Woman. What misogynist crap! All the runners up are also from the same gentleman*: Don't Think Twice, It Ain't Me Babe, Idiot Wind, and his gift to JB who adored him so much, Queen Jane Approximately.

*Note: a gentleman in this sense of the word is a guy who removes the dirty dishes before he pisses in the kitchen sink.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Nerd
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 01:32 AM

That's the one, John! "knock three times on the ceiling if you love me." God, what crap!


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: John P
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 01:30 AM

I've always considered "Honey" to be the worst ever song. But "It's a Small World", "Knock Three Times on the Ceiling If You Love Me", and "Tie a Yellow Ribbon 'Round the Old Oak Tree" are certainly contenders in my book. I'm surprised that no one has mentioned "Woman" by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap. "Woman, wo- wo- wo- woman, have you got cheating on your mind?" Gak.

JP


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Nerd
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 01:16 AM

Somebody (maybe it was Dave Barry again) called "Muskrat Love" "a tender, poetic ballad about rodents having sex." Incredibly, it's true!

Wasn't there one by Tony Orlando about a man and woman who live in apartments that are one right above the other, in which the man asks the woman to declare her love by banging on the pipes? "bang three times if you love me, twice if the answer is no?" Some crap thing like that? Or am I just crazy...?

Okay, I've just found my copy of Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs. If you like this thread, you need this book. Of Seasons in the Sun, he says, "this is a song about a person who is dying, but not fast enough." Of "My Way" he says "the international anthem of drunken untalented businessmen in karaoke bars." Great stuff!

Has anyone mentioned "He Hit Me (and it felt like a kiss)" perhaps the most creepy and offensive love song ever written?


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: mg
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:44 AM

so far I like all of them better than Barrett's Privateers. Did anyone mention Muskrat Love? I even like that one better.

mg


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Benjamin
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 10:36 PM

I remeber once hearing U2 cover dancing queen. I'm not sure if it's worse than the original, but mannn was it bad! Eddy Vedder has written some horrible lyrics.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Morgan
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 10:27 PM

"Raindrops keep falling on my head"

or how about that Christmas classic...

"Grandma got run over by a reindeer"


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 10:18 PM

Rick, touche.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Amergin
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:36 PM

what about that classic Drop Kick Me Jesus Through The Goalposts of Life?


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Leo Condie
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:32 PM

Gwonya - you really must hear the band Negativland's song "U2"...if you dislike that U2 song as much as I do you'll certainly enjoy it!


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: gwonya
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:25 PM

"Still have'nt found what I'm looking for" (or whatever it's called) by U2. Everytime I hear that annoying chorus I think it's been years and these guys still have not found whatever the hell they're looking for. Reminds me of that Marlboro guy who was always lost in the swamp walking beside his raft ...presuming he was looking for the way out that is.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 08:29 PM

'bimbo,bimbo,where ya gonna go e o, bimbo,bimbo,what ya gonna do e oo,bimbo,bimbo,does ya mommy know, yurr goin' down the road ta see a little girlio'- jim reeves.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 06:22 PM

Information: The song "Fernando" was recorded by Abba. It was actually written about Fernando "Pancho" Villa who was a Mexican Freedom fighter (as a side note - the Pancho Villa we know was really Doroteo Arango who took Villa name after he died). If you read the words now, perhaps the song will make more sense.

Of course any song sung by Mrs. Miller was ruined for all future singers.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Venthony
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 04:37 PM

"Kiss Kiss Kiss" by the normally brilliant Gershwin brothers.

They were young and hungry and trying to write a hit -- and they certainly made up for this adolescent abomination later on.

For example -- and it's not exactly folk -- but with its complex swing rhythms and triple rhymes "Embraceable You" may well be the best pop song ever written.

So let us all forgive "Kiss" as a youthful exercise of genius learning its art.

Tony


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,mikey banjo
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 03:06 PM

For some reason I have always hated "Hot Corn Cold Corn bring along a demi john" I don't know why - it talks about my favorite things, moonshine, demi johns, and it even has my favorite chord progression (I-V)


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: allanwill
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 02:46 PM

JudeL

The second song you refer to may be "The Old Boiler". I can't think of the name of the group at the moment but I've got it at home, so I'll let you know. It's a typical boy meets girl/girl won't come across/boy gets rough/boy rapes girl song. The primordial scream at the end is self explanatory.

The record was released about 1981 and I bought it because I got the whisper that it was going to be banned (in Australia)as soon as it was released. I got to the record shop about 9.00AM and by 9.30 the powers that be had ordered it off the shelves.

Even by todays standards, it is fairly graphic.

Allan


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Andy Leader
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 02:40 PM

"Jeremiah was a bullfrog.." etc. It's such nonsense, but it's catchy, which makes it all the more irritating.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Don Firth
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 12:01 PM

A whole spate of "doo-wop" songs in the Fifties, in which the singer breaks out of the song to narrate a real tear-jerker, explaining what the song is all about. A particularly egregious one that spent a lot of time on the charts was Teen Angel. I friend of mine was moved to write a parody entitled Teen Leper. Part of the narration says, "My mom and dad didn't want me to go with her because she had leprosy. So I said, 'well, gee whiz, mom and dad! All teenagers have complexion problems. . . .'"

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Kim C
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 11:51 AM

Hey Baby I'm Your Telephone Man

Brand New Key

I'm going to disagree on contemporary music. I felt the same way until I heard David Gray, Sheryl Crow, and Train. If you take some time to shovel away the shit, you'll find a pony in there somewhere.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 11:44 AM

Lord Gawd...I'd FORGOTTEN "Waltzing with Bears" Art! (even done by you!!)

Hey Steve Latimer, of COURSE you loved "Your Ding a Ling" when you were twelve!

Cheers

Rick


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,boromir
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 11:41 AM

Sorry about this folks but the all time winner is

It's a Small World


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Art Thieme
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 11:27 AM

"Waltzing With Bears"-----------UNLESS it was done by Jim Ringer and Mary McCaslin as if the singer was a dirty old man reprobate not very far removed from clergy child molesters. Their doing of it in 100 degree heat at Rockford Illinois some years ago was the best I'd ever heard it done.

Art Thieme


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: songs2play
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:42 AM

Cinderella Rockerfella (Ester and Abi Offarim), can there be any doubt that this single is the most obnoxious song ever released.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:19 AM

all time classic, 'long haired lover from liverpool':little jimmy osmond. a truly crap song by the only one who couldn't sing.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: JudeL
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 08:22 AM

Two from fairly recent popular culture, a truely toe curling one that was around about 2 years ago something about "picking up the phone" which had an intensly irritating background of a ring-tone as part of what I hesitatingly call the "music " element of the soundtrack, also there was another one around at about the same time that appeared to include a scream of rage from a "female" (although it sounded far more animal in origin) who is complaining in the song about being badly treated by her (now) ex-lover.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Another Music Critic
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 07:59 AM

Yeah I've heard them !! 'Let's sing a song an Irish Song diddley diddle dum dum dee' Twee or what !!


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