BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 09:04 PM

Hmmm...well, I guess we can make a quick plot adjustment here, since we cross-posted. The action's heating up faster than expected.

Okay...let's assume:

1. A short time had passed, during which:

2. Ursula uncovered Brehmer's situation with Katherine and reported back to Otto. He was not pleased one bit, but decided to put up with it because Brehmer was not to be moved on the matter. Ursula was not too pleased either. She'd rather Brehmer was interested in her.

3. Brehmer and Kathryn have become lovers (it was inevitable and relationships form fast in wartime).

4. Yes, Otto and the others do need Brehmer desperately. He's very capable...and he knows how to fly an airplane. Probably any airplane. That could prove crucial if things go badly awry...as they most likely will.

And that pretty well sums it up. We're all off to the safe house, which is going to be anything but safe...for a variety of reasons.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 09:10 PM

Editor's note: Quick note: It's mid-November/42. Things HAVE hit the frying pan officially between Germany and the USA since back in December/41, almost a year ago. That's when Hitler declared war on the USA (an idiotic thing to do...if he hadn't it might have taken Roosevelt a few more months to convince Congress to start fighting Germany as well as Japan).

Other than that, we're okay, I think. Carry on, chaps! Kreegah!

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 10:27 PM

When Chongo and Drecker arrived on scene Chongo could have sworn a blue streak. "Here we go again!" he thought, "it was bad enough having those two rookie cops die on my last case, now they've turned this into a damned circus!" Drecker apparently was thinking along the same lines.
"Dammit, Dammit, Dammit!" Drecker swore. They've probably scared off the suspects by now!"

He and Chongo walked sullenly through the woods to the grave site. A team of policeman had already begun exhuming the bodies and laying them beside the grave. The sight was more than enough to make Chongo sick. The pictures in the medical report were nothing compared to what lay before him. Chongo turned away from the small bodies by the grave. Looking towards Drecker he spied a tear on Drecker's cheek. Nothing needed to be said.

Chongo walked back to the car alone with his thoughts. Revulsion and anger mixed with sadness and a sense of hopelessness. By God almighty he was going to find the spies responsible and make them pay. Drecker arrived at the car a few minutes after Chongo. His eyes were red and his cheeks were puffy. He sniffed and snuffled into his handkerchief. "Damn sinuses," he said. Chongo allowed him his dignity.
"Chongo, I've got to go back to my office. I'm out of my jurisdiction here. Any of the officers here will give you a lift back. They've also found a cabin about a mile further down the road that's been recently abandoned. I figure that's where our suspects were before the clown parade arrived here.
"Thanks Lance, but before you go I need to tell you what your boys are dealing with. Those kids didn't die from those gunshot wounds. The lack of hair and teeth and those open wounds weren't from decay. That's radiation poisoning. Your boys are going to have to be monitored and the bodies of the kids will have to be cremated to prevent further contamination."
Drecker's eyes showed the shock he felt at those words. He knew about radiation from all the science fiction magazines he'd consumed as a kid and he'd heard some vague rumors that something strange was going on in town but he'd mostly discounted them.
"I can't tell you what or where but that part is going to get out if any of your boys get sick and I've seen too much of that."
"Thanks Chongo. I'll make sure they get properly taken care of."

Out of pure habit Chongo returned to the grave site and began looking for a trail back to the cabin. It didn't take him a lot of time to find the track, he'd been hunting prey long before most of these policemen had been walking a beat and it was probably more obvious to him than it would ever be to any human. He was at the cabin in about fifteen minutes. As he'd expected when he set out the cabin was clean. The only thing that he was really able to deduce was that there had been at least four humans there at one time, mostly by sent, but also by the different sets of footprints around the site. He was so intent on looking for clues that he didn't hear the man sneaking up behind him.

"Dicky" subdued Chongo quickly and tied him to a sturdy arm chair.
"I told you you'd regret messing with me hairball!" Dicky smirked at Chongo.
"Now you're going to pay for humiliating me in that diner. Oh, and in case you're thinking that the cops are just a holler away, I already sent them packing."
Dicky pulled in jar out of his pocket. "Know what this is asshole? This is a container of low grade uranium. Not lethal while it's in its container and pretty innocuous in small exposures but that's not what's going to happen to you. Oh, no! You're going to get exposed but good!. Chongo was getting good and angry and was already working at breaking the ropes that held him fast.
"I see that finally wiped the smirk off your ugly mug! I'm going to leave you here with this little container and come back some time tomorrow. You ought to be good and dead by then!"
Chongo stalled for time while he worked at his bonds. Dicky had unfortunately done a very good job.
"Must have been a damn boy scout," Chongo thought bitterly. Out loud he said, "how'd you find out about this?" Let the enemy reveal his plot to you, they do it every time instead of paying attention to what you're doing.
"We've had your phone tapped since day one and you never knew it? And you call yourself a detective! When that flatfoot called you we waited for you to show up and tailed you to the hospital and then here. I told Graves that I should have been in charge. You're too damn sloppy."
Chongo was starting to get a minor amount of slack. "Unfortunately by the time I get these ropes untied I'll be a crispy critter. Momma didn't raise me to die like this!" Chongo thought and redoubled his efforts.
"After you're dead I'm gonna take your body to him in a lead lined sack and tell him we found you that way in your office. Damn stupid Chimp! I'm gonna say. Found some evidence and instead of handing it over he decided to keep it for himself. Yeah, curiosity killed the chimp! I'll get the spies sooner or later and then I'll get the recognition I deserve. You know chump, it's just to bad that liberal pantywaist Roosevelt has decided to side with the damn frogs and limeys. The nazis got a pretty good idea wasting your kind. If it wasn't for him I'd be right by their side!

Dicky was laughing for a moment until he saw the shadow rising up behind him. He turned just as Kerchak's fist caught him on the side of the head, sending him tumbling across the floor.
"Kerchak! I never thought I'd say this but boy am I glad to see you. Think you could come over here and untie me?"
Kerchak reached over and snapped the ropes holding Chongo to the chair. Chongo was impressed with the apes strength but he wasn't about to show it.
"Couldn't let him do you," Kerchak said, "spoil my fun when this is all over. Couldn't let that bastard do a fellow primate either for that matter."
Chongo chaffed his wrists and went over to check on Dicky.
"Is he dead Chongo?"
"No, you must be losing your touch, Kerchak"
"More like his head is so hard that nothing could hurt him," Kerchak said spitting on the floor "we already know that he's got a really stiff neck. How do bastards like him get in power?"
"They kiss ass and stab people in the back until they get there. Good thing they can't keep the charade up once they hit the limelight. You heard everything he said?"
"Yeah, shit Chongo, you're playing with folks more dangerous than me on this one. Nazis?"
"At least four of them from what I can tell. I'd appreciate it if you'd keep it under your hat though. This whole deal is rather sensitive."
"No problem there. I don't like humans in general but Nazis are worse than anything on this side of the pond, well, with the exception of your friend there. What do you want to do with him? You want to leave him here with the uranium like he was going to do you?"
"No, Kerchak," Chongo sighed, "the hate has got to stop somewhere. But I do need to get him out of my hair until this is over. I'm tired of him dogging me and he really needs to be taught a lesson."
Kerchak began grinning madly. "Leave it to me Chongo, I think I've got just the thing."


Dicky woke in a strange bed in a strange room that was softly lit and decorated with lace and flower prints. The smell of perfume lingered in the bed and the air. He couldn't remember anything after tying Chongo to the chair. It must have gone well he decided.
"I must have decided to tie one on and get a girl for the night," he thought, "oh but what a hangover! My head is killing me!"
Dicky rolled over to see if he could find a clock. Wouldn't want to be late getting back to the lab. He needed to retrieve the body and make his report to the general. The bed springs squeaked loudly under his weight.
"You awake big boy?" came a sexy voice from what he assumed was a bathroom. "That was quite a ride last night! I hope you got something left for Momma this morning!"
Dickie grinned and lay back on the bed. "To hell with the lab today," he thought,"I'll make up some excuse when I get back."
He closed his eyes and relaxed awaiting the girl's return to the bed.
"I thought you were awake, lover" came the voice now right next to him.
Dicky opened his eyes and found himself face to face with a 700 pound female gorilla in gold silk lingerie. He went from pure contentment to rage and loathing faster than his little mind could comprehend. Dicky flew at her in a rage but she was waiting for him. Kerchak had warned her he might react that way. If it were Kerchak himself she might think of it as foreplay but coming from a human her mind began screaming Bundalo!" Maisy held back her instincts and cold cocked Dicky with her fist to the side of his head that Kerchak hadn't pounded in the previous night.

Dicky awoke in the brig. The guards wouldn't even talk to him, not even look at him. Dicky knew he was finished.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jan 04 - 12:46 AM

Ursula sat filing her nails and examined the girl, Kathryn, with considerable interest. So this was the one who had put Brehmer on cloud nine? Ursula had discreetly followed Brehmer and quickly discovered where he was spending most of his off time. He was either at the store, out with Kathryn or sequestered in her apartment with the drapes drawn. And the two of them were glowing in the most obvious way. "Puppy love" she thought to herself, sarcastically. "They're both barely wet behind the ears and they think they've found a paradise on Earth together."

That had been three days ago, and she had quickly passed the news on to Otto, who had had a fit about it. Otto had promptly summoned Brehmer into his office upon his return from "shopping" and given him a severe tongue-lashing for his poor judgement. What if the girl was an American agent? Even if she wasn't it was a bloody stupid thing to do. Why couldn't Brehmer just find a prostitute now and then to satisfy his appetites?

Otto wasn't absolutely sure, but he felt fairly certain that Brehmer had almost punched him in the nose when he said that. A look had come into the young pilot's eyes that said, "One more word along that line and I will break you in two..." It was such a look that it had given even Otto pause, so he backed off a little. He tried reminding Brehmer of the need for security. Brehmer insisted that the girl knew nothing and was no risk, and that in any case he would not stop seeing her and that was that. Then he walked out.

Things had been damn tense after that. Otto would have had Brehmer arrested and shot if they were in Europe, but he needed him here. There was no way around it. Brehmer would have his girlfriend and they would work around it somehow, and watch both of them like a hawk. If the girl found out anything or turned out to be anything but what she appeared to be...then kill her. And that might mean killing Brehmer too. It was a shame, but that was the way it stood.

Otto had assigned Ursula to continue watching them.

Then came the sudden crisis with the discovery of the buried apes and monkeys and the whole thing fell apart. Why did that young fool compromise them so? Now they had to hold the girl indefinitely...or until the job in Chicago was done...and then? Kill her. Most definitely. But Brehmer would be controllable as long as she was still alive...so for now, she must live.

Nothing could ever be simple, could it?

Ursula was thinking all this over herself as she kept a close eye on Kathryn. The girl had hardly said a word, and looked like she was in shock. Scared stiff, no doubt. Well, she had good reason to be scared.

"Smoke?" said Ursula, cooly, lighting up one herself.

"No thanks," replied Kathryn, guardedly. "I don't smoke."

"Ah!" exclaimed Ursula. "So that's it! We were all wracking our brains to understand why our handsome young pilot had suddenly become an abstainer...he who used to smoke so heroically whenever he was upset...now I understand. True dedication. It must be 'love'. I would say you were a lucky girl, but that would be quite incongruous at this juncture, wouldn't it?"

"Yes," said Kathryn bitterly. "It certainly would. Who the hell are you and what are you doing in Chicago?"

"Better you shouldn't know," replied Ursula smoothly, blowing smoke, and tapping off a bit of ash. "And by the way, just what do you know? It would be better if you just tell us now and don't make things difficult. Otto is not so nice as I am, and he is the boss here."

"Apparently I don't know a damn thing," snapped Kathryn, with tears of anger showing in her eyes. "I thought I was going out with a very nice young Polish man named Wally Krupinski. That's not his real name at all, is it?"

"No," admitted Ursula, "it's not. But it will do for now. In this line of work one exchanges names like gloves or shoes."

"You're Nazis, aren't you?" said Kathryn, glaring at her. This girl had quite a temper, you could see that. A fiery one when it came down to brass tacks.

"Humph," retorted Ursula, raising her eyebrows. "You say it like it was some sort of insult. What do you know about it? You're a victim of Allied propaganda. We are people who serve our country faithfully and risk our lives."

Kathryn shot her back a contemptuous look and turned away without a word. Nor would she reply to any more of Ursula's questions.

"You are very foolish," said Ursula at length. "I leave you in the tender care of Bruno here. Be careful of him. Bruno lacks imagination, don't you, Bruno? And he might get the idea you were trying to escape and shoot you."

"Oh, go to hell, Blondie," commented Bruno, without any heat. He was used to being picked on by Ursula. He thought she was a right cold bitch, even if she was good looking. He put down his paper and sat down across the room from Katherine, watching her stolidly but without any hostility. She was certainly a more pleasant sight to look at than Otto or Martin...but she was in a lousy mood. He decided not to bother her any more than was absolutely necessary. Angry women made Bruno feel very nervous. He preferred not to deal with them at all if he could help it.

"And what are you going to do now?" said Bruno to Ursula as she stood up. Not that he really cared.

"Me?" she inquired archly. "I am going to re-educate that young fool of a pilot and teach him not to spend his valuable time kissing young American strumpets."

It must have been the wrong thing to say, because to Bruno's amazement Kathryn exploded, leaping to her feet and striking out at Ursula with clawed hands, so fast that Bruno's jaw had barely had time to hit the floor before the two of them were tangled up in a screaming fight.

"Jesus Christ!" yelled Bruno. This was close to his worst nightmare. He elbowed his way in between them and got a fist in one eye and a couple of good scratches for his efforts. It was like wrestling with barbed wire. Martin and Brehmer came pounding in from the front room and dove into the fray, and between the three of them they got the two women apart.

"You little idiot!" spat Ursula. "What the hell do you think this is? Public school? I can shoot you dead any time I take a mind to, and don't think I can't!"

"Nobody is shooting anybody," said Brehmer savagely to Ursula, and he stepped in front of Kathryn protectively. Martin and Bruno were holding her arms tightly.

"What the hell do you care?" screamed Kathryn at Brehmer, and burst into tears. "You're not who you said you were. You're a liar and a spy and I hate you!"

Brehmer flinched and looked stricken. He started to speak haltingly, then gave it up and walked slowly out of the room looking like he wished he was dead.

Ursula stalked out in his wake and slammed the door behind her.

Kathryn was very quiet after that, and so was Bruno. He didn't make a peep, but just sat on the other side of the room looking like a cat trying to balance on a telephone wire. Martin stuck around to keep them company, and chatted idly about this and that. After awhile he went and made some tea and brought it back.

"Need a break?" he asked Bruno.

"I wouldn't mind."

"Go ahead then. We'll be fine."

Bruno went out with obvious relief. Martin poured himself some tea, poured some for Kathryn as well, and put it down near her on the side table. He sipped quietly, took a breath, and then spoke casually.

"I know that you don't like any of us in the least right now...and there's no particular reason why you should, but there is simply something that I must tell you, and you don't have to tell me anything in return."

Kathryn glanced up at him silently. She was attempting to repair her makeup, just for something to do.

"What I want to tell you is that I know your "Wally" very well. I've known him for about two years...long enough to know this: he is utterly honest, idealistic to a fault, courageous and hardworking, impeccably loyal to those he loves...and he loves you so much right now that it's killing him. That is the plain truth."

She said nothing, but her eyes filled with tears.

"It's a bad business," said Martin, "but he is my friend and I care about him. I can see that you do too. I want to tell you that your caring is not in vain, and that he simply cannot help being in this situation. He didn't ask for it. It's the war. He had no choice about it. No choice whatsoever. The war put him here against his will, just as it has me. Without it, we might all be the best of friends right now, sitting in your Chicago stadium and eating 'hot dogs' and getting along famously. I'm very sorry about it, but please go easy on him, because if you don't he is going to lose his mind."

She wept quietly for a bit, and Martin drank his tea. Eventually she dried her eyes, looked at him helplessly, and said "What can I do"?

"Keep calm," advised Martin, "and talk to him. I will arrange for you to be alone with him here for a few minutes if I can. Then let him explain himself. I'm sure that you are no agent, but I am trying to figure out how you can get clear of this. I'm trying to figure out how all of us can get clear of it, God knows!" he exclaimed. "You must be very careful of Otto," he went on, "You know that already...and of Ursula too. Don't make any trouble or give them any excuse or they definitely will kill you...and then I expect Jurgen...yes, that is your boyfriend's real name...will kill them. Or they'll kill him. Whoever moves quickest. And I'll have to take sides when it happens. So don't make it happen!"

"I understand," said Kathryn wearily, and she stared into her tea as if trying to unravel the future.

"It's a hell of a bad situation," said Martin, "but I'm afraid that's the way it is. I'm not going to tell you anything about our 'work' here, because your life would be forfeit if I did, and don't ask Jurgen about it either. It wouldn't do any good if you knew anyway. I wish I didn't know about it myself at this point. Lives have already been lost...and perhaps for nothing."

"That's usually what happens, isn't it?" said Kathryn.

Martin nodded. "Ja. Probably. People follow orders from other people whom they barely know and life goes down the drain."

"Well, thank you," she said. "I think I believe you. I really need a rest now."

"I'm sure you do. We all do. There's no way out of here except by the door, so I'll leave you now. You have everything you need here. Try to get some sleep, and think on what I said. You have a good man out there, even if he is on 'the other side' at the moment."

He bowed slightly in a rather courtly way, got up, and quietly left the room.

Kathryn heard the deadbolt slide home and then nothing but a distant murmur of voices. She went to the door and listened for a minute, but they were talking in German. She sat back down, drank her tea slowly, and thought about the situation long and hard.

* * * * *

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: GUEST,Tang the Orangutan
Date: 29 Jan 04 - 12:57 AM

OOOOo oooo OOOHOHOOOO!

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: GUEST,Tang the Orangutan
Date: 29 Jan 04 - 01:06 AM

Sorry about that last post. I just got a little excited from reading this story.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: 42
Date: 29 Jan 04 - 09:26 AM

i'd be thinking about it long and hard too!

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jan 04 - 11:43 AM

Nice to get some comments from an Orangutan for a change...

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jan 04 - 03:15 PM

Solly the howler monkey had been very surprised when he got the new orders from Kerchak to actually help Chongo with his investigation and not set him up. It had to do with the young primates who'd been found dead down by the river, a grisly affair. Solly was the type who adapted quickly to changing situations, and he got right on it, tapping every source he could think of for information.

There were a few scraps of useful info trickling in on the grapevine. A couple of rhesus monkeys had spotted people coming in and out of the now infamous cabin, so recently vacated by whoever had killed Kerchak's niece and the others. There was a man, probably in his mid to late 30's, wore a trenchcoat, fedora and glasses, dark hair, looked like a serious type. There was a slightly younger man, cleanshaven, similarly dressed, well groomed. A third guy, very muscular, looked like a bouncer or a football player, again in the fedora and trenchcoat. And a much younger man, early twenties, very athletic looking, liked to go for walks, blonde and handsome, had a military bearing about him.

There was also a woman. A blonde. She was a real good looker by human standards and a sharp operator. Solly had already spotted her and tried to tail her twice, and she had lost him both times. It was downright embarrassing. Solly didn't think she had even known he was there, she was probably just assuming somebody might be there at all times, and acting accordingly. She was a real pro.

It sounded like the other guys were pros too, except for the young one. He didn't fit in somehow.

One more peculiar thing had come up. Solly got word that a girl had apparently vanished from a bakery/grocery shop while alone on her shift. The cops suspected foul play. The girl's name was Kathryn McConnell, and she had a totally clean record in every respect. Solly wouldn't have given it a moment's further thought except for one thing. Kathryn had been seen several times recently with the young, athletic guy. They'd been dating and he'd been visiting her at work quite regularly. Solly started asking around in the neighborhood. Eventually he came up with a spidermonkey who had been hawking newspapers on the day Kathryn disappeared. This monk confirmed that Kathryn had come out of the store with the young guy on one side and the mug with the glasses on the other, and she'd looked very white-faced. They quickly got in a car and drove away, and she'd not been seen since. Bingo! Solly had no idea what Kathryn had to do with it all, but it was a solid lead. He arranged to meet Chongo at Al's Diner that afternoon. Solly had never had a chance to meet Chongo and he was looking forward to it. The Chimp gumshoe was becoming a bit of a legend ever since that caper with Big Daddy Malone and the mobs. He'd even danced with a human dame once. Unheard of. He had to be one cool cucumber.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 30 Jan 04 - 02:49 PM

With thanks to Terry Pratchett...

Back at the precinct a strange scene was playing itself out. An non-English speaking orangutan was attempting to tell several police officers what he had seen the night before, Unfortunately the policemen in question were no good at charades.

The Orangutan had come from a very far distance to see this city of "Chicago". He'd observed that it was very strange and fascinating as he'd heard it was and yet in some ways it was very similar to his home. For instance he'd found upon his arrival that just like at home any traveler will arrive at his destination eventually. Unfortunately their luggage would not. Having no money in his pockets, primarily because he had no pockets because he wore no clothes, he found himself rather destitute and unable to finance the return trip. So he'd wandered the city streets until he came upon a building that he understood fully. The Library.

The clouds parted and the sun which had been vacant all day shone down on him. He opened the door to the hallowed halls knowing that there he would find someone that could help. Unfortunately for him the librarian, in whom he had great faith, had never seen an orangutan before. She knew intellectually that they existed but to know something and to have it suddenly pop-up in front of you with a great toothy grin was quite another. She fainted.

His second mistake was in trying to bring her too without help. Her eyes opened to see his great hulking orange body hovering over her, her hand held in his huge hairy mitt being patted by his other huge hairy mitt. She fainted again. He became a bit concerned the second time and went to find the library director for assistance. When the ambulance that the director called left, it was with a sedated librarian in the back, softly babbling to herself.

Without the help he expected to find, and without anywhere else to go, he settled into doing what had become second nature to him back home. He began cataloguing and returning books to their shelves. In short, as at home, he became "The Librarian".

It was because of this that he'd first run into Katherine. She'd been a regular at the library, always checking out books about foreign places that she'd never seen. In this they were kindred spirits. He'd been on his way to deliver a book about Poland that he had had to obtain from an other library to her. He'd been on the street in front of her store when he had seen her forced at gunpoint into a grey ford sedan which he'd chased into the old river front district.

Now if only he could get this across to the police. He was becoming rather frustrated withe the process having gone through the "first word", "sounds like" routine several times already. They'd missed lid, and hid, and bid had gone nowhere at all. He was about to start tearing off limbs and assailing their owners with them when it dawned on him that he might actually be able to get them to understand "kid". He did the first word, sounds like motions and then put his fingers pointing upward to either side of his head.
"Devil" guessed one of the police. "Satan" guessed another.
The librarian covered his eyes with his big hairy mitt and blew soft raspberries and tried again this time adding sound effects (after all they didn't need to necessarily follow the rules).
After seeing the librarian put the fingers up and hearing him say "baahhh", the police finally seemed to be getting the hint.
"I got it!", shouted one, "he means sheep!"
"No you idiot he means lamb!" said another.
"Since when are you an expert on barnyard animals?" a third asked.
Another ventured "goat?"
The librarian got very excited. He was finally getting through!
He then began to gesture for "small".
Immediately the policemen began shouting, "small goat, little goat, tiny goat, miniature goat, itty bitty goat!"
It was then that Detective Drecker walked into the room and said, "Kid, a little goat is a kid."
The librarian turned a backflip he was so ecstatic! He quickly pointed at his nose to let them know, for certain if they'd missed the back flip, that Drecker had got the right answer. He then signed for second word and put his hands together as if praying, laid them aside of his head, closed his eyes and began making snoring noises.
The policemen again started shouting answers, they didn't want to be outdone by the detective after all, "sleep", "snooze", and "rest" all got raspberries and looks of derision. Again Drecker was the one who said nap. He was also the first one to put together kid and nap to get kidnap and it was all downhill from there. Well, with the exception, of having to console a frustrated and exhausted 600 lb male orangutan librarian. Soon Drecker had the river front area staked out.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jan 04 - 03:15 PM

LOL! Well, there's a refreshing little vignet, and once again the orangutans get honorable mention in this tale...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 30 Jan 04 - 06:19 PM

Oook!

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jan 04 - 10:53 PM

Oooo! Oooo! Oooo! EEEEEEEEK! EEEEEEK! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! (jumping up and down and waving arms frantically)

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jan 04 - 12:57 AM

It took some doing, but Martin managed to find an opportunity for Brehmer to be alone with Kathryn while Otto and Bruno were poring feverishly over the latest information Ursula had smuggled out of the briefcase of one of her American boyfriends. They had about 15 hasty minutes to pour out their hearts to one another. In that time Brehmer, after an initially abject and tearful apology...which Kathryn matched with one of her own for saying she hated him...had given the girl the briefest thumbnail sketch of his short stint in the Luftwaffe in 1940, his being shot down over England and captured, the voyage to Canada with other German prisoners of war, the harrowing escape across Lake Superior and his becoming enmeshed in Otto's little spy cell ever since.

"I never planned for any of this," he said emphatically. "My only thought was to be a pilot and do my very best, but I have become a spy, and frankly I'm not very good at it. I don't even have a gun. I've been pestering Otto for the last 2 years to arrange a way for me to return to Europe and rejoin my squadron, but he has no intention of doing so. He needs every pair of hands and eyes he can get here. I hate this work! It's not what I trained for...and if I get caught I will be shot...because I'm out of uniform. Besides...we are involved in things that are very ugly, and likely to become more so...and now I have involved you in this quite unintentionally, and I could kick myself for it! I am the world's biggest idiot, and that is for sure."

"No you're not," said Kathryn. "You're not an idiot at all. You're just someone who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jurgen...you know I'm still not used to not thinking of you as Wally," she laughed a little through her own tears, "Jurgen, you have got to get clear of Otto. Run away! You escaped from Canada so why can you not escape from Otto? Just walk out the door and disappear. I know that you don't want to surrender, but you could go south...to Mexico or something. You could make it. I know you could."

"Yes," he said bitterly. "That is exactly what I should have done after the first few months...but now...everything has changed. Now you are here as a prisoner and I cannot walk away. I am in this for better or for worse to the bitter end, because if I leave they will kill you. Martin wouldn't, but he wouldn't be able to prevent it either. That Otto is a cold devil, and Ursula, if anything, is worse. They would sacrifice any number of lives in order to 'win', as they see winning. But I'll tell you the real truth...nobody wins these deadly games! Nobody. Only some survive, and some do not. Galland said that once, you know, when a member of the German press corps called him a 'hero' for the hundredth time. He got quite sarcastic. He said 'Hero? I never met any heroes yet. Just those who lived and those who died.' And you know, Galland loved to fly against the British, because they were such damned worthy opponents, and he loved the aerial jousting with them, but he could still see that in the end it was just a big meat-grinder swallowing up the youngest and the best on both sides. I didn't see that then...I was too young and hungry for glory...but I see it now."

"Never mind about that," she said, "It's far away now. A world away from us. Now listen...if what you say is true, then we simply must both escape together. Would Martin help us?"

"I don't know," said Brehmer. "I know he would like to if he could, but that's pushing it. He is, after all, loyal to Germany...as am I if it comes to a decent fight...still..." he knitted his brows. "If he thought that Otto was planning something simply intolerable...some horrible murder or atrocity...he might not put up with it. And then, anything is possible."

A sudden three soft raps on the door, and Martin stepped in. "That's it!" he said urgently, gesturing to Brehmer to come out with all haste.

Jurgen and Kathryn clung to each other for one moment, then he tore himself free and stepped away, as Martin closed the door softly behind them and locked it...just as Otto and Bruno entered the room. Otto was scowling heavily.

"We've very little time," he snapped. "Martin, I want you to start putting together the explosives. I want enough to blow the Great Pyramid off its bloody foundation...and get our red-eyed loverboy here to help you," he added savagely. "He needs something to occupy his mind. Bruno! You get back in there and watch the girl. There are no windows, but I'm leaving nothing to chance."

"Come on then, Jurgen," said Martin. Brehmer gave Otto a sharp piercing look, rather like an eagle might eye a dangerous and hated opponent that he plans to kill at the first opportunity. Then he followed Martin to the shop, and they began assembling detonators, wire, and charges.

"I was wondering, Martin..." said Brehmer, after a bit.

"Yes? What are you wondering?"

"This spying trade is always dangerous, and I think you know that Otto has not seen fit to issue me a firearm in the last two years, as he clearly thinks I am just an amateur here. Well...I was thinking that I might sometime be needing one."

Martin stopped what he was doing, and stared into Brehmer's keen blue eyes. They never wavered, but Brehmer was pleading with him desperately behind those steady eyes. Martin sighed, and pulled a small snub-nosed pistol from his vest. He handed it to Brehmer. "Seven shots," he said, "and here's another clip to go with it. Don't use it unless you absolutely must, and don't waste a shot. It's a well balanced gun, but I'm afraid you won't have time to practice now."

"Thank you, Martin," said Brehmer, tucking the gun and the clip away in his trousers. "I won't need to practice. I used to compete with the best in the squadron on our offtime. Only Willi Baatz could shoot a handgun better than I. Damn good fellow, but he burned up in a Messerschmitt one day over Tangmere, after doing a perfect strafing run on the Tommies. Their AA got him on the pull-out when he was almost free and clear."

"Too bad," said Martin, "But something gets all of us in the end." He winked at Brehmer. "Me, I want to die at 75 or 85 of far too much excellent wine, fine music, and incomparable lovemaking. I hope I find a way to do that." They resumed the deadly work of constructing bombs. Bombs big enough to blow holes in most anything they might be needed for. What madness was Otto planning now?

* * * * *

They were all done when Ursula returned and gave them a hell of a shock, because when Otto opened the door she didn't look like Ursula at all. Her hair was dark, and pulled back in a tight bun, and her clothing was...well, rather sober and severe...like a librarian or something. Otto didn't even recognize her until she spoke.

"You should see your faces," she remarked tartly. "You look like you're all trying to catch flies with your mouths hanging open like that."

"Ursula! Bloody hell! What are you doing like that?" spluttered Otto. "I might have shot you."

"Not likely, Otto," she purred, "I am very quick on the draw, as they say in the American Westerns. And...I am quick enough to know when the hounds are closing in! While you gentlemen have been planning your great assault upon the so-called 'Arsenal of Democracy'...(she laughed contemptuously)...I have been watching the waterfront. They are onto us. The place is lousy with plainclothes operatives...and lousier with apes. Stinking apes and monkeys in the alleys, in the trees, on the rooftops...from one end of the waterfront and right down to the other. If I had come here tonight looking as I usually do, they would about now be preparing to smash down your door like the Big Bad Wolf and bring us all out, alive or dead. It is unfortunate that those wretched apes' bodies were discovered. You should have buried them deeper, Otto, or put them in a bath of acid."

"Mein Gott!" exclaimed Otto. "Are you sure?"

"You know better than to ask that," said Ursula, shortly.

"We must move fast," said Otto, but he felt fear gnawing at the pit of his stomach. His nerve was beginning to give way after months of increasing tension. He had a virtual mutineer on his hands in Brehmer, an unknown quantity in Martin, a kidnapped girl in the backroom to keep an eye on, a target that was probably about as well guarded as Fort Knox, and a city full of stinking apes and monkeys...creeping vermin!...watching for him to stick his nose out the door and be seen. He felt suddenly weak, and passed a hand over his brow vaguely, then sat down heavily on one of the kitchen chairs. Ursula was looking at him commandingly with a bit of a sneer on her beautiful lips.

In a sudden moment of sheer blinding hatred Otto realized that she didn't really respect him at all, never had, and that she had more nerve when it came right down to it than he ever would in his wildest dreams. He was nothing to her. Absolutely nothing. He could have killed her for that, if it would have done any good.

* * * * *

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 31 Jan 04 - 05:30 PM

Assistant Editor's Note: Okay, the write-up on this caper was Rapaire's idea, see? He was desperate to get it going by mid-January, and he did. Now the poor sucker's been overwhelmed by other circumstances and he ain't got much time to write, but we need him. Therefore, we gotta all hang tight until Rapaire gets back here and does some fill-in on the Manhattan Project stuff, so avoid any major plot developments for a bit, I'd say. No problem with puttng in a few little fillers for background though.

Just to keep people entertained, I am gonna fill some general info about apes in the 1940's USA...

Okay, we apes have gotta face quite a bit of discimination in human-dominated society, cos we are recent immigrants and people got the idea that they are way superior to us. You got these rich white-collar white people at the very top of the social pecking order, then you got the poor whites, then you got the brown and yellow people a notch down from there, then you got the American Indians another notch down, and then you got the negroes (called 'blacks' these days) another notch down...and then you got us apes and monkeys, who get dumped down at the very bottom of the pile. It hasn't been easy, but at least primates were never enslaved en masse like the Negroes were back before the Civil War...only a few of us were kept prisoner in zoos and circuses here and there. I have to say though, that there have been medical experiments more recently done on apes and monkeys as bad as anthing the Nazis ever dreamed up, and the scars go deep! There's a lot of anger out there.

The big primate migrations began in the 1800's, and got a terrific boost after 1912 when "Tarzan of the Apes" was published by Edgar Rice Burroughs...a human who is revered by primates everywhere.

See his biography at:

http://www.tarzan.org/official_biography_part3.html

Primate immigration to the USA really picked up in the 10's and 20's of the 20th century, then sorta stayed steady. You had apes from Africa and Asia and monkeys from just about everywhere comin' in on boats, lookin' for the 'good life' in the Land of Opportunity. Mostly they find lousy, demeaning jobs at rock bottom pay. This made a lot of apes and monkeys turn to crime, and that fueled more human prejudice. It's a vicious circle.

I gotta admit there is bad prejudice among primates too! Apes look down on monkeys generally, thinking they are mental lightweights not to be taken seriously. Monkeys look down on apes, thinking we are big, stupid bruisers without no sensitivity. Chimps figure gorillas are crude, arrogant bozos. Gorillas figure chimps are self-important, arrogant pansies. Orangs figure chimps and gorillas are goofballs without much brains or class. Baboons don't like nobody else, and don't even get along so well with each other. It's a big problem.

Still, I've seen some progress. Primates are slowly winning the respect of humans...some of them...and are beginning to find a sense of solidarity among themselves. The fight for equality is only beginning on the streets of America, but I see the day when our oppressors will yell "Kagoda!" (we surrender) and share and share alike with their primate brothers and sisters across this land.

Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 31 Jan 04 - 11:00 PM

Chongo,

To paraphrase,

I have a dream.

I am proud to help you and your bretheren find your voice through this story. I would like to join you on the grounds before the Lincon Monument where other struggles have found their bedrock. With the heavens of the almighty above us, the works of nature around us and the monuments to the open minded before us to declare "We Will Overcome!"

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 31 Jan 04 - 11:40 PM

Chongo returned the container of uranium to the general the next morning. He was going to tell the general about "Dicky" dogging him as any man that felt that vehemently about primates might just be too much of a loose cannon, but he held back.
"You know you're pretty much our last hope on this investigation," Graves told him, "Our top man, the officer that was with me when we first contacted you, was thrown into the brig this morning for assaulting a female gorilla. Rumor also has it that she is.... an escort shall we say? I shouldn't tell you this because the investigation into his behavior is just beginning, but the investigating officer believes that he spent the night with her and then attempted to kill her to cover his indiscretions. Sick, sick man, no offense, he keeps saying that he was set up and how much he hates apes. I'm glad you didn't have any run ins with him."

Chongo grinned at the news but tried to cover it up. "Leave it to me, he says," thought Chongo, "Muscles like steel mountains and a sharp mind as well as a twisted sense of humor. I'm glad he's working with me on this caper." Chongo told the general that he'd found the container in the cabin where the spies had been. He felt bad about lying to the general but it might give creedence to Dicky's story and Chongo was better off with him in the brig.

Chongo also told the general about the bodies and grave.
"We'll have to get the bodies from the morgue and decon the area," Graves said, "I'll work through the hospital to do that and make sure the policemen are okay as well. Shouldn't be too difficult. Chongo, if you'd help me on just one more thing on this as well, I'm going to take care of the burial costs and help out the remaining family members as well. Those youngsters died because of an oversight in our security. They died for their country in a way, and I for one am very grieved that they did."

Chongo's jaw dropped in awe. Never before had he seen such respect for his kind displayed by a human. Sure he and Drecker were friends, and Jake down at the gym had literally saved his life, but these children were strangers to General Graves.
"Stunned you did I?, the general said, lighting up a stogie, Good, I like to keep people on their toes."
Chongo extended his hand to Graves saying "It would be my great pleasure general."

Chongo was still musing over the general and what he'd said when he got back to his office. It was still early and the smell of someone cooking brunch was making him extremely hungry. Smelled like eggs, bacon, toast and coffee.
"Wait just a damn minute! That's coming from my kitchen!, he thought. He drew his .45 and slowly inched towards the kitchen.
A strange howler monkey, well all howler monkeys were strange... a howler monkey unknown to Chongo was wearing an apron and handling a spatula like a pro at the stove.
"Hope ya like ya eggs over easy," the monk said, "I do dem best"
"So this is what it feels like," Chongo thought, "I guess I should have expected this at some time or other, I do this all the time to other people."
Chongo put away his .45 and hung up his coat and hat.
"M' names Solly," the howler said still not turing from the stove top, "Kerchak sent me." "I reckoned ya'd be hungry since ya left so early dis mornin'". Ya take yer java black I'd guess. Din't find no sugar er cream. S'good and hot, pour yaself a mug and siddown, I'll be witcha in a minute. This all came out about a mile a minute as it did with most howler monkeys and it took Chongo a minute to understand it. Chongo had learned to record the sounds coming from a howler in his mind and play it back at a slower speed, parsing the message together bit by bit. He grabbed a mug from the cupboard, poured himself some coffee and sat down at the table. One sip told him that the howler made a good brew. Chongo found himself anticipating the eggs and bacon.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 04 - 02:25 PM

Several salivating moments later Solly brought two plates to the table.
"Eat first, we'll talk after, " Solly said grabbing his own steaming mug and sitting down.
Chongo dove in head first. Something told him that after he heard what Solly had to say, he wasn't going to have a lot of time for eating for awhile. Unfortunately the eggs and bacon didn't last long and he was almost longing for seconds when Solly put down his napkin and said "down ta bidness."
"Help me wash up, we'll talk in front a da zink."
Chongo found himself drying the dishes that Solly handed him.
"Use ta woik at a restraunt. Trained up sa well dat I can't geddit outta m' system, sorry."
Chongo used to let the dishes sit in the sink until enough built up to make it worth his while. Matter of fact the load that had been sitting waiting for his attention was gone. Now that he thought of it the whole place seemed to be in better order and a lot cleaner than he left it. Chongo grinned, Kerchak didn't know the favor he'd done sending Solly over.
"Well, well, well. Where ta start?" Solly said while rinsing, "Ya knows Kerchak done sent me ta informs ya a what we found. Well, ya knows bout da chimps and ya seen da grave. Been ta da parents a da kids an dey din't see notin'. Checked da oder kids in da neighbahood an dey say dat two guys inna grey sedan come round lookin fer help. Da chimps whats dead went wit um. Same story each neighbahood. No d'scription. All hoomans look da same ta dem. Only 'ting was da sedan. One a da oder parents say dey seen da sedan da oder day. one hooman goz inta da shop and pulls two oder hoomans out, pointin' gat attem. One guy, one doll. Nunna da kids sed dey saw a dame b'fo. Checked da shop. Dame der sed oder dame not been ta woik inna day er two. Parent sed dey saw da sedan head fo da old rivafront. Kerchak got eyes allova riverfront lookin'. Dat's bout it. Oh yeah, Kerchak wanna talk ta ya bout sumtin private. Toll me ta axe ya ta come ova later. Neva know Kerchak ta ask so p'lite befo."
Solly wiped his hands with a dishrag and grinned.
A few moments passed before Chongo fully digested what solly had actually said. He realized Solly was still standing there, motionless.
"Uhh, yeah, tell Kerchak I'll be around about one," he said.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 04 - 02:27 PM

No offense Chongo. That's the way I hear Solly in my mind.
Damn its hard to stop typing that way after you've gotten into it.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 01 Feb 04 - 05:31 PM

Okay, sorry, the last two entries were made by myself. Now to the story.

Chongo took a moment to check in with Drecker. Now that Dicky and his boys had been pulled off he didn't have to worry about being overheard anymore.
Drecker listened patiently to Chongo and then told him about the report from the librarian. At least the stories jived. Nothing further on it though but Drecker assured Chongo he'd call if they found anything.

Chongo lit himself a havannah and checked his mail. Gotta do it sometime, boring as it is. Bills, bills, bills, no letters from secret admirers, no you too may be a winner anouncement. Chongo began thinking that the world loved him only for his money. Then he thought "what money?" and chuckled to himself.

Chongo caught a cab for the east side to keep his appointment with Kerchak. He checked the stairs this time before going up. Sure enough an ape was there with a thomson. The Ape smiled up at Chongo and actually waved. Seems he'd been told Chongo was expected. Chongo knocked on the door and was admitted by Solly who actually took his coat and hat. and then led him into a parlor off of the foyer. Kerchak was sitting in an arm chair with a worried look on his face.
"Well, here I am Kerchak. Kerchak?"
"Huh! Oh hello Chongo, glad you came by. Sit down will you?"
Chongo sat down as Solly came in with a tray with two drinks on it, grinning from ear to ear.
Kerchak glanced at Solly as he took his drink from the tray.
"You know that smirk is really annoying Solly, it isn't all that funny."
"Yeah boss, it ain't funny," Solly replied, but the grin remained anyway.
"Okay Kerchak I'll bite, what's going on?" Chongo asked.
Kerchak sighed, "Well you heard about Dicky right?"
"Oh yeah! pure brilliance, Dicky ain't gonna be bothering me for a long time to come," Chongo replied.
Yeah, I thought so too," Kerchak said with a fleeting smile, "except..."
Now Chongo knew something was really going on, "Come on Kerchak, spit it out."
"Well, I needed to make a deal with someone to pull that off and I don't know if I can do it."
"So you need my help, is that it?"
"Yeah, but it's not what you might think. Maizey, the gorilla that Dicky woke up with? She told me that if I wanted her to do it I had to promise her a "date" at a really posh place, uptown.
"So what's the problem?" Chongo asked.
"I don't know how to say this Chongo, but I've never been with a woman before, I mean I've been with a woman before but never on a real date. I think Maizey likes me and I think I might just feel the same about her. I've never had to deal with this type of thing."
"Kerchak old boy, you've come to the right place."
"Just one thing Chongo, you tell anyone, I mean anyone about this, and I will kill you!"
Chongo chuckled, "do you mean more than you want to kill me already?"
Kerchak looked a little stunned and then grinned himself "yeah, you tell anyone and after I'm done killing you for what happened before I'll bring you back and kill you again! I mean it!", he said and burst out into a howl of laughter.
"So you gonna help me or what?"
"Yeah Kerchak, but you might notice that I'm not exactly doing well in that market myself." Chongo replied, "let's get down to business."

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 04 - 06:44 PM

Fermi sat in his desk chair, poring over equations. It squeaked.

The chair, not the equations. The equations were fine, dead on.

He picked up the intercom phone, punched a button. "Feynman? If you're not busy, I have those equations ready for you."

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and Richard Feynman entered. Fermi handed him the sheaf of equations, turned back to his desk. Feynman hesitated, cleared his throat.

"Something more?" Fermi asked quietly.

"Well, yes. Some of the guys and me, we were wondering...do you know when that next shipment is coming up from The Area in Tennessee? We're getting awfully close to critical, we think."

"Hmmm...no, I don't, but I think that it should be any day now. How much U235 have we embedded? The pile keeps growing every day."

"About 8.4 kilograms. More exactly," he continued, seeing the professorial look creep into Fermi's eyes, "8.391458845 kilograms. Eighteen and a half pounds."

Fermi chuckled. "I want to get this self-sustaining as much as you do, Richard," he said. "And we are so close. So very close. You know, we could have done this in Italy, in Rome, don't you? We would have discovered the fissioning of the nucleus if I hadn't followed a bad hunch and wrapped foil around the test tubes to preven beta leakage! And so Otto and Lise did the same thing, showed that fissioning was occuring, and got the Nobel Prize!" He laughed, a real laugh. Fermi wasn't jealous of his German colleagues.

"More cadmium control rods came last night," Feynman observed. "We're in pretty good shape there. Miller is fitting them into the mechanism right now."

"Any more of the radioactives disappear?" Fermi asked, his face serious.

"No, not lately. There was a rumor, something from the MPs I think, or maybe the FBI, about a bunch of bodies found up on the lakeshore north of town. Apparently they were in pretty bad shape. General Groves sent North and South over to the hospital; he thinks it might be radiation caused."

"Ed North and John South? Good men. They'll find out. But it couldn't be, of course."

"Of course not. Well, I'm off to read these equations. Drop around later, if you want. Some of the guys have gotten some good chianti."

"Thank you, I might very well do that."

The door closed. Fermi sighed, picked up his pipe and relit it. He reached into his in-basket, pulled out a several pages of equations, and became engrossed again.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Feb 04 - 04:12 PM

Otta chewed on his frayed nerves for about twenty minutes and had a stiff drink while Ursula went over the documents with Martin. The warmth in his throat and stomach braced him up after awhile, and he called Ursula aside for a private conference.

"Tell me honestly, what chance do we have of getting in there at Stagg Field and doing anything decisive?"

"Almost no chance at all," replied Ursula. "Their security is as tight as I imagine you would find around Joe Stalin right now."

Otto looked grim. "I expected as much. Your recommendation?"

"First," said Ursula, "we get the hell out of this place. They've got the waterfront staked out and they will find us soon, barring a miracle. I don't believe in miracles. But I have a plan."

Otto nursed the remains of his drink and looked hopefully at her. "What is it then?"

"I rent a truck. Tomorrow. I bring that truck here, make a supposed 'delivery' at the back door of a small package...and all of you get aboard as quickly as possible and hide in the back. I'll back the truck right to the doors so no one can be seen getting in except me. They can't know my new appearance."

Otto looked totally perplexed. "And then?"

"And then I drive north, back to where you picked up Brehmer when he landed from the lake 2 years ago. You still have that cabin, don't you?"

"Yes!" exclaimed Otto. "It's in a very isolated spot, heavily forested. Near a town called Rockland, in Michigan. But then we'll be far from Chicago...too far for practicality."

"You will," said Ursula. "I won't. And this is a job best done by subtlety, not force. It needs but one person. Me. I still have one good idea left up my sleeve."

"What about all our gear? Our papers? There isn't time," protested Otto vehemently.

"No there isn't. So you just take the essentials. Blow up the rest. Make it look like there was an accident with the bombs and we all got blown up together."

Otto's eyes lit up. "Yes..." He pondered it. "I could blow up the girl too, and get rid of her..."

"Not unless you plan to blow up Brehmer as well," said Ursula. "The fool would die for her, I'm sure."

"It's worth a thought," mused Otto. They sat in silence. The clock on the wall ticked relentlessly on.

"No," he said finally. "I'm tempted. But no. Martin concerns me too, and I'm not sure what he would do in such a case. We need him, and we may yet need Brehmer. We'll all go to the cabin at Rockland. One big 'happy' family."

"And then I return at once to Chicago," said Ursula. "I've got a new identity, and a plan that may work after all. I'll keep you informed."

"I could order you to reveal that plan to me now," said Otto.

"No you couldn't, Otto," said Ursula, with a steely look in her eyes. "It's not as you think at all. If you doubt me, ask Berlin. Ask 'Reinhard'. He will tell you in plain terms."

A chill went through Otto. He said no more. (Should have known it...!)

"Then what am I to do while you make you plan?" he muttered, biting down hard on his humiliation.

"Keep up the communications with Berlin. Report on everything. I will keep you informed. If I succeed, fine. If I die, then it's your job from there on in."

"And if you are caught?"

"Then I die," she said simply. "Depend upon it. I will not be taken prisoner."

"If so," he retorted, sarcastically "I will see that you get Germany's highest decoration. And I will send flowers."

"I'm sure," she replied, smiling coldly back at him. "We understand one another perfectly, don't we?"   She stood erect with an air of finality. "Best get to it. You have until dawn."

Otto got moving at once and gave the orders to pack, and pack only the essentials. Then he instructed Martin to set up the bombs and wire a timer. Martin was very good at that. He'd been in demolition before the war, and he knew just how to bring down a building.

* * * * *

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: GUEST,Bubba Baboon
Date: 02 Feb 04 - 05:25 PM

Dang! R yew all communists er sumthin', like thet thar Openhinder nookyoolar physisistin guy? How cum yew no so dadgum much bout this hyere stuff whut went on back then? Where's ol' Jay Edgar when ya need `im? All y'all sound like communists to me.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Feb 04 - 05:59 PM

It was 11 AM the following day when the cops decided to check out the warehouse. A barbary ape named Eeley had given them the tip, and it seemed like a possibility. It was one of a number of nondescript buildings in the neighborhood, and they would be checking all of them...process of elimination. Two plainclothes officers, Jamieson and Weatherup were on the scene. They had a word or two with Eeley first, after he bummed a smoke off Weatherup.

"You seen anything?" asked Jamieson, lighting up Eeley's cigarette.

"Not much. All I seen was this. A truck made a delivery there this morning. One small package in brown paper."

"What kind of truck?"

"Well, just a plain Ford truck with a box, y'know. No markings."

"Get the plate number?"

"Nope."

"Christ! Big help you are," swore Weatherup. "What about the driver?"

Eeley glared at Weatherup truculently. He didn't like cops much. "Yeah, I seen the driver."

"Well? What the hell did this driver look like."

Eeley took a long drag. He was enjoying this. He scratched the back of his neck and sighed, as if dredging up the memories. Weatherup was going slowly nuts, and Jamieson was looking not too amused either.

"It was a young guy," said Eeley. "Slender built, in a green uniform with a peaked cap. Looked maybe 18 to me. I didn't see no identifyin' marks on the uniform. dark hair, short, straight. Pale skin. small hands. He took the package to the back door and handed it to someone that I couldn't see, cos the truck was right against the building. They gave him a piece of paper. He went back in the truck and sat around for about 5 minutes, readin' the paper, and havin' a drink of coffee, I guess...or hot chocolate or somethin'. Kept the motor runnin'. It was real cold this morning. So...after about 5 minutes he puts her in gear and drives forward, goes back and shuts the doors, then gets back in the cab and drives off."

Jamieson was noting it all down carefully. "Doesn't sound like our suspects," he said, but let's check it out. "You sure you didn't get the license plate? Can you remember part of it."

"Wait..." said Eeley, "wa-ai-ai-ait...it's comin' back now..."

The officers leaned forward expectantly.

"I got it," said Eeley. "It was one o' them special plates...all letters. It started with F...yeah...that's it...F and N...and then a space...and then C-O-P-S."

"FN COPS" repeated Jamieson, carefully writing it down. He looked up sharply. Eeley had a tiny smirk lurking at the corners of his mouth, showing his canines a bit.

"Why you LOUSY..." snarled Weatherup, drawing back his fist. At that moment the building blew up with a blinding flash that knocked all three of them off their feet and broke every window on the block. It seemed to Jamieson that it was all happening in slow motion. He saw the flash, and had a moment's glimpse of the walls bursting out in all directions like a huge balloon. Better than the movies, he thought. Then he realized he was flying through the air. For a moment the whole world turned upside down and something hit him very hard. He was knocked breathless, and just lay there for a bit. Everything had gone amazingly silent. He tried rolling over, eventually managed it, and staggered slowly to his feet. Eeley was extricating himself out of a garbage can into which he had apparently been driven headfirst. Weatherup was staggering around like a crazy man, waving his gun and yelling silently. Yelling who knows what. Then Weatherup started blowing his whistle. Strangely enough it made no sound at all. Jamieson turned to look at where the building had been and saw an inferno raging there in what wasn't much more than a crater surrounded by debris.

"Jesus," he said. This must be the place after all. At least it was the place.

"I can't hear anything," he said to Weatherup. "Can you?"

Weatherup moved his lips, but it was anyone's guess what he was saying. Eeley was jumping up and down, apparently screaming like primates do when they're excited. He took off up the wall of the nearest intact building and joined several other primates on the roof. They were all gesticulating wildly, focused on the fire.

Jamieson made his way awkwardly to a pay phone, wondering how he would now when it rang at the other end. He attempted to call in to headquarters and report. When he turned around he was surprised to see two fire engines already on the scene, fighting the blaze.

Jamieson sat down on the pavement. He suddenly felt very tired.

* * * * *

Far to the north Ursula drove, moving up Highway 45 at a steady, but legal speed. Otto slid back the little window behind her and looked through. "How far have we gone?"

"Clintonville," she said. "About halfway to Rockland. We're to the west of Green Bay right now."

"Good. I'm sick of being crowded in back here and the seating is atrocious."

"It's better than the accomodations on a U-boat," she said, unsympathetically. "Brace up. Nobody gets out till we reach the cabin. Then we can build a fire, Martin can cook us a nice meal, and all will be well. How do you like the uniform?"

"It makes you look like a young man," said Otto, "Unless one looks very close. I've seen better, but it will do."

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Feb 04 - 06:04 PM

Don't get paranoid, Bubba. This here is detective fiction, see?

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 04 - 10:21 PM

Yeah, Bubba. An' if you don't like it, I got some friends who'll explain it all to ya. Real private like. They'll tell you all about it on a nice quiet boat trip out into Lake Michigan. And they'll even give you a brand new pair of shoes, and 'cause they like you, you won't have to worry about the shoes wearin' out, 'cause they'll be made of cement!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 09:38 PM

Aside from a couple of brief rest stops on deserted country roads, Ursula drove steadily north until they reached the tiny community of Rockland, Wisconsin. Population 412. Otto directed her to a sideroad that snaked back into a forested area. Three miles down that road was the cabin when Brehmer had spent several days recuperating after his dip in Lake Superior two years ago. Jurgen remembered it well. A nice place to go hunting under normal circumstances. There was a heavy layer of snow on the ground, and one wouldn't get far in those woods without snowshoes or skies now.

They had made only two very brief rest stops on the trip north, picking places where no one might glimpse the truck's passengers, and Otto had watched Kathryn and Brehmer very closely on those occasions, with one hand in his pocket. That hand had no doubt been resting on his luger, ready to shoot if necessary. Kathryn had thought fleetingly of escape, but there was no possibility of succeeding, so she had not tried anything. Mostly she just remained silent.

Otto set the others about starting a fire, and brewing up some hot tea, because the cabin was very cold. He went back out to talk to Ursula.

"Will you leave now," he asked.

"In a couple of hours," she said. "I'll just take a look at the forest and rest for a bit...I like the forest. Then I'll go back under cover of darkness."

"What about the truck? Can they trace it?"

"I doubt it," replied Ursula, "because I have put a different set of plates on it, and there are many of these same trucks. I shall abandon it in Chicago, in a place where it won't be found too soon, and then I'll get to work."

"I don't feel good about this...being left out of the loop, as they say," complained Otto. What if you get killed or something? How will I even know?"

"You'll know if you don't hear from me every three days," said Ursula, "and don't pretend it's because you care," she added tartly. "I know what is bothering you, Otto. You simply can't stand not being number one."

"Humph!" he snorted. "And what about you? I suppose you don't care in the least about such things?"

"I care about my duty," she said sharply. "Frankly, Otto, you have been incompetent lately. I can't rely on you. Neither can I rely on Martin or Brehmer, and Bruno is an ox. I don't happen to need an ox right now."

"How dare you accuse me of incompetence!" flared Otto, his face turning red, and his fists clenching.

"First you involved those monkeys," snapped Ursula. "That was foolish. They didn't get us much, except a lot of trouble. Then you didn't think to warn them against getting contaminated and they died! Now there are many of their heathen comrades out looking for us, and they have some interesting abilities that people do not, even though they are subhuman things. You then disposed of the bodies in an incompetent fashion, and they were found! You then lost your judgement utterly and blurted out something about it in front of that girl of Brehmer's in her shop, and involved her in this! All totally unnecessary! You astonish me. You are not fit for command, Otto."

Otto gasped and glared at her speechlessly, grinding his teeth. He envisioned shooting her down where she stood...a lovely fantasy. Ursula calmly smoked her cigarette and stared him down for a minute or so.

"However," she said, "you are still in command of this little cell, Otto...under my command, that is. I need you to hold it together. Eventually the girl will have to be disposed of, but for the time being I advise you to treat her well...but watch her and Brehmer! You don't need me to tell you that, do you?"

Otto shook his head mutely.

"You wonder why I say 'treat her well'? Because if you do, Brehmer will be much more useful and cooperative. I recommend you treat him well too. Act like we are all making the best of a very difficult situation."

"And what about Martin?" asked Otto at last. "I think he is becoming unreliable as regards Brehmer."

"So do I," agreed Ursula, "but Martin is not about to change sides...nor is Brehmer. They are patriots. That is why I say: treat the girl and Brehmer well. But don't overdo it! Then they will suspect the worst. Just be even-handed, that's all. Can you do it?"

"Yes, damn it! I can do it," swore Otto petulantly. "I can do much better than you think, Ursula!"

"I hope that is true, Otto," said Ursula. "I really do. Because unless we both do very well indeed we are going to end up dead quite soon. And no one will even remember our names."

Otto felt the chill wind playing over them, winding its way through the trees that stood dark around the cabin, and shivered. He smelled wood smoke.

"Let's go inside," he said, and he turned toward the cabin. Ursula took one last breath of the deep pine forest and followed him in to the light and warmth.

Martin had brewed tea. You could always depend on Martin. "You'll make someone a fine wife someday, Martin," quipped Ursula.

Martin chuckled. "Why thank you, Madame Commandant! I look forward to that with great anticipation, I can assure you. After the war I shall marry in the most lavish way humanly possible, with dancers and a Mexican band, and you, Ursula, you shall dress in full uniform and be my 'best man'. What do you say?"

"Ha!" she scoffed. "I'll tell you this, Martin. If we are still both alive when it's done, I'll do anything you say." she answered. "Even that."

"Excellent," exclaimed Martin. "Here's to survival, ladies and gentlemen...and an early Spring. Hot drinks all around."

"Here's to victory!" said Ursula, raising her mug, and the others joined in with her toast...but Brehmer hesitated, when he saw the conflicted look in Kathryn's eyes, and lowered his mug. Their victory could not possibly be hers, and he would sooner or later have to choose...one or the other.

"Perhaps life is not about victory at all," he thought. "Perhaps it is about something else entirely...something much finer and more enduring than what people call 'victory'."

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 10:06 PM

The building was still smoldering when Chongo got there. Amidst the fire trucks and police cars he poked and prodded, sifted the debris through his fingers. Drecker was there as well.
"So what are your boys telling you, Lance?"
"Well after somebody finally figured they were deaf from the blast they brought out their pad and pencil. They were watching this place last night. A small delivery truck pulled up, the guy delivered a small package, but didn't go inside. Took his lunch break and then drove off. Minutes later the whole place went up."
"And they never saw anybody come or go from the place aside from the delivery truck?" said Chongo.
"Nobody. Whoever was in there went up with the building. Not a stitch left of them. Just debris."
"Sometimes I pity you Lance."
"How do you figure?"
"You figure this is the end of the chase, don't you?"
"Well that was the last building they could have been in and its just a crater now, so yeah I guess it's over.
"Sorry Lance, you and your boys got taken. I pity you because you only have half the sense of smell that I have. There isn't a trace of burned flesh or fresh meat. Chongo stood quietly for a moment. "Actually I guess you should pity me that I can smell such things even in the smallest amounts."
Chongo then smiled up at Drecker, "How long have you been walking the beat and you've never run into some joker playing three card monty."
A light dawned in Drecker's eyes. He threw his unlit dog end on the ground and muttered "Shit!"
Chongo would have laughed but it was supposed to have been inaudible.
"Let me guess, Chongo said, "they didn't think to get the license, not that it matters because it was probably stolen, the driver was pretty much non-descript and the truck had no markings and was painted just like any other delivery truck around here."
"That about sums it up," Lance said turning his back and walking back toward his car. "What do we do now?"
Chongo shrugged. "It's their move now."

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 10:28 PM

"Doctor Fermi?" asked the big man in the doorway. "Can we come in?"

"Sure, Ed. You too, John. Sit down, sit down. Coffee?"

"No, thanks." Ed North rushed right into it. "You've heard about the bodies? The ones Groves sent us out to check on?"

"Yes. He thought it might be radiation poisoning. Nonsense, of course."

"It's not," said John South. "It's 100 percent real radiation poisoning. The geiger counter went nuts during the autopsies."

Fermi was quiet. For quite some time.

"How?" he finally asked.

"We don't know. But there are fourteen dead primates out there, and all of them dead of radiation poisoning. And that's way, way too many for coincidence."

Fermi stared at the wall beyond the two men. "We'll have to let Groves know at once. There has to have been a major breach of security here. We're the only place with that much radioactive materials."

"Shit," he added and waved the two men out. "I've suddenly got lots of work to do." He picked up the scrambler phone, dialed.

"Leslie?" he said asked. "Enrico. If you're not busy, I've got some really awful news for you, and I'm coming up right now. Well, I suggest that you cancel your meeting, because this is big and won't keep."

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 07:39 PM

He listened. Leslie Groves was good at that. Fermi was right, as usual. This was big news, and very bad news indeed.

He picked up his scrambler phone, called a number.

"Franklin? Leslie. I'm flying to Washington now and I have to see you as soon as I get there. It's about this Metallurgy Lab here in Chicago, the one that's doing things for that Manhattan Engineering Project, you'll remember. We've had some unexpected casualties, I'm afraid."

He frowned with obvious distaste and continued.

"I suppose that we'll have to tell J. Edgar. You might want to have him sit in on the meeting. I should be there, in, oh, five hours. Right. Goodbye."

He hung up.

Damn, damn, DAMN! Keeping this quiet was going to be a real problem.

There was a knock.

"Chief?"

"I told you not to call me that!" Then he looked up. It was Larry Ellison, his secretary. "Sorry, Larry. What's up?"

"There been an explosion down in the lakeside docks area. I'm afraid that the police...well, it might be linked to us."

Double damn, double damn, double DAMN!!

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Feb 04 - 12:07 AM

Ursula drove back to Chicago and ditched the truck in a handy parking lot, next to a lineup of similar vehicles. She also got rid of the green uniform. The short wig she kept. It might come in handy again soon. Her blonde hair was now chestnut brown, and pulled tightly back. She could have been a legal secretary or something like that...the straight-laced, businesslike type from all appearances. First thing was, get a moderately priced hotel room, not too far from Stagg Field. Then start working on whatever useful angle she could come up with. There had to be a way to get into that place, and she only had to do it once.

* * * * *

Otto followed Ursula's advice, and went easy on Brehmer and the others. Not too easy, mind you, but he avoided being unnecessarily difficult about anything. That was a pleasant change as far as everyone was concerned. They put it down to Otto's absolute relief at escaping the police dragnet and being relatively safe for a bit. Still, Otto was moody, and he went off for long walks. Something was eating at him, that was clear, and it most likely had to do with Ursula.

Kathryn and Brehmer got a fair bit of time to talk quietly together, and he told her a good deal about his youth in Germany and his experiences early in the war. It was evident to Brehmer that most Americans considered Hitler to be a dangerous lunatic, and it puzzled him no end. He tried to explain to her that Hitler had brought stability and prosperity to a desperate nation, and given it pride again, but he had a hard time justifying certain things...such as the attack on Poland in '39, and the absorbing of Czechoslovakia into the Reich, and the bombing of Rotterdam, among other things. Brehmer's general impression was that Hitler's hand had been forced on those matters, but the Americans certainly didn't see it that way. Then there was the matter of the Jews. Brehmer hadn't given it a whole lot of thought up till now...he wasn't a political type by nature...but Kathryn had him thinking about it, and she was raising some thorny questions in his mind that had no good answers he could come up with. He knew that many, many people had been arrested, and their property destroyed or confiscated. He knew that many others had been forced to leave before the war, and when it came right down to it he didn't know why. Brehmer had no reasons of his own to dislike Jews. They hadn't caused him any trouble.

"What about the Duce?" he asked Kathryn. "Do you like him any better than Hitler? After all, you are half-Italian..."

Kathryn made a face. "He's a horrible man, always sticking out his big chin arrogantly like that! I think he's an egomaniac and a complete scoundrel. Look at this picture, for heaven's sake!" She pointed to a photo of Mussolini addressing the Fascists in a copy of Life Magazine that lay on the table.

Brehmer took a good look. He screwed up his face, as if concentrating very hard, and turned the picture this way and that way. "Hmmmm...Kathryn, you may in fact be right. He actually does look quite decidedly arrogant. Let me see if I can match this stance..." He stood up on a chair, so as to gain an impressive height, put his hands on his hips, puffed out his chest and stuck his chin way out, just like the Duce haranguing the masses, and launched into a barrage of quasi-Italian gibberish.

Kathryn raised her hand to her mouth and burst out laughing. Martin sauntered in, and did a double-take. "My God, it's the Duce himself! In our humble abode! What an honor! Imperial Rome lives again in the unlikely frame of Jurgen Brehmer, itinerant war hero in search of enlightenment."

Jurgen stuck his chin out threateningly, glowered at Martin and launched into more bogus Italian phrases.

"Oh, stop!" said Kathryn, gasping for breath. "You're assassinating my mother language. It's dreadful!" She pitched a pillow at Brehmer and it bounced off his head. He frozed in mid-declaration with a shocked look and pantomimed falling slowly from the balcony into the street below.

"Now you've done it," said Martin, shaking his finger at Kathryn severely. "A clear assassination attempt on the Great Man, a veritable Caesar of our times...."

"But where are his legions?" asked Brehmer, with a smirk. He resumed his seat on the couch. "Tagging along after General Rommel, what's left of them. You know, they sent a couple of squadrons to fight alongside us over Britain in 1940. I would not criticize the pilots. A spirited bunch of fellows and quite gallant....but they were flying dreadfully antiquated aircraft. Fiat biplanes, if you can believe it! Maneuverable as hell, but terribly slow...and those clunky little humpbacked Fiat G.50 fighters. Really a bad design, and mounting only two 30 caliber machine guns, against Spitfires and Hurricanes armed with eight 303's apiece! They were totally out of their league. They didn't even have modern navigational equipment for finding their way back in the bloody fog over England and the channel. It's a wonder they didn't all get killed first time out."

"How many times did they go out?" asked Martin.

"Two or three, as I recall. Then they gave it up and stood down and went back to the Med. The only sensible thing to do. I understand that Mussolini has sent a few squadrons to Russia more recently. Poor souls! I pity them."

"I pity anyone in that mess," said Martin.

"Where are Otto and Bruno?" asked Brehmer, changing the subject.

"Bruno is out there chopping wood, I believe. We need plenty of it. Otto has gone for another one of his solitary walks. He's chewing hard on something, but I couldn't say what it is."

"Hmmm. You've noticed the change, Martin? Otto's been different lately. He's almost nice to us. I wonder what he is up to."

"So do I, Brehmer, so do I."

Later Brehmer had a word alone with Martin. They were standing underneath a towering white pine that stood back of the cabin, Martin having his occasional smoke, and Brehmer abstaining.

"What would you do in my position?" asked Brehmer. "Do you think Otto would kill her?"

Martin sighed. "Frankly? Yes. She knows too much now, and he's not even bothering to prevent her from knowing. She knows our names, and much of your background. That alone makes her far too big a liability from Otto's point of view."

"But she knows nothing of the 'project'."

"No. Still, if I were you...in love with that girl...I would get her out of here." Martin threw down his butt and ground it out with his heel.

"If she is gotten out, she'll go straight to the American authorities. Then what?"

"That's true," agreed Martin. "Look, Brehmer...here is how I see it. This mission cannot succeed anyway. It's a million to one chance. Even if it did succeed it wouldn't stop the Americans, it would just slow them down a little. You've seen the immense size and strength of this country. My opinion...this project will get us all killed for nothing. Ursula intends to blow up that lab under Stagg Field. I doubt she can succeed, but she will try. She will most likely be killed in the attempt. Then they'll find the rest of us, soon enough. If they do, I expect we will all end up being shot or hanged as spies. It's a lousy situation, with no good ending."

"And the war? We have our duty to fight as best we can."

"I hate to say it, Brehmer, but I think the war is lost. Russia is not going to fall, and America is coming in full force. It's just a question of numbers. Add them up and you'll see."

"I don't want to believe that," protested Brehmer. The very thought was agony to him.

"I know you don't," replied Martin sadly, "but I told you...it's just a question of numbers. We can't beat this country AND the British AND the Russians. It simply can't be done. The Japanese are already falling back in disarray. They shot their bolt at Midway, six months ago. Rommel has had it in Africa. He'll be driven off the continent in another few months at best. Then the Allies will assault Italy. It's as plain as day. There is nothing ahead but a slow grind to defeat and disaster. I didn't think so last summer, but I see it now."

"So what are you telling me? What are you saying, Martin?"

"Get out, Brehmer. You and Kathryn, get out now. Soon. Before it's too late. There is going to be a life after this war for those who survive it. Think about that. Look to your future, not to fighting battles that can't be won."

Brehmer took some time to digest that. He felt tied up in knots thinking about it, but he had to admit that Martin was most probably right, and Brehmer's priorities were changing lately. Going back to his squadron was just a dream. It wouldn't make any difference even if he did. Just one more lamb to the slaughter.

"I understand you," he said at last. "And I believe you are right. So, what are you going to do, Martin? What will you do if Kathryn and I make a break for it?"

"Pretty much the same thing as you," said Martin. "And it had best be at the same time. Can you fly any airplane, do you think?"

"Absolutely."

"Good. I have an idea, then, that may work...and we can all get off this sinking ship before it's too late. Then we go south, Jurgen, to Latin America. There are many possibilities down there for people with a good head on their shoulders."

* * * * *

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 04 - 10:42 AM

Chongo had investigated the matter of the missing girl, Kathryn McConnell. He got an excellent description of the young guy she'd been dating from the other girl, Norma, who worked at the store. Norma wasn't the brightest light in town, but she'd been quite observant of Kathryn's boyfriend, and had exchanged a few words with him now and then when he came to the store. She said he was a Pole. Wally Krupinski. Chongo doubted that. The guy was almost certainly one of the German agents they were looking for. Norma hadn't seen the other guy, the older one, and that was unfortunate, but the Orangutan and at least one other ape had seen him, and their descriptions matched perfectly. He was forty-ish, receding hairline, glasses, average build, kinda looked like an accountant or a smalltime lawyer or loan shark. A sour, kinda serious-looking Roscoe. Not a guy you'd crack too many jokes with. Chongo figured if he ever got close to this guy he could identify him by scent. He'd noted the scent of several individuals in their original hideout.

Drecker was still sifting through the debris over at the exploded warehouse, but hadn't found much. One bright note. The missing truck had been found, sitting apparently abandoned in a parking lot. Chongo got a good look at it and checked it for scent. Sure enough, the same people had been in the back as had been in the hideout near where the dead apes were found buried, and the McConnel girl too, so she had still been alive at that point. And a woman had been driving up front, not a young man! Whoever she was, she wasn't taking any chances being spotted. Must be a real pro. Chongo had noted a faint trace of her perfume, and filed that away for future reference. He'd caught a whiff of the same stuff over at the hideout, but couldn't smell any by the flattened warehouse...too much smell of smoke and burning there.

Drecker figured he had a lead on the guy with the glasses, who must be the one in charge, Chongo figured. It seemed he'd been running a part-time engraving business a while back. His few customers had known him as a Mr "Svenson". That had to be an alias. Someone else remembered one of Svenson's associates...a dutch guy named Van Schelde. That had to be another alias. They described him as an affable fellow with a gift for the gab. There was a third guy, a big guy. He liked to bet on the horses. The pieces were filling in now, bit by bit. And then there was young "Krupinski". He liked to walk, and was in terrific shape.

Only thing was, they seemed to have vanished off the face of the earth since the explosion. That meant they were either lying very low...or they'd left Chicago entirely. But the truck had been abandoned in town. So they'd either changed vehicles or at least one of them was still around.

One thing for sure...these people had a special interest in the Manhattan Project. That meant they would be back. Chongo decided that the best thing to do was to stay close to Stagg Field and keep his eyes open. Sooner or later the bees would come back to the honey, and that's when he'd nab them. Drecker agreed. Stagg Field and the few blocks in its near vicinity was the place to watch.

They got together for a coffee at Lucy's. Drecker was driving the bananamobile again and it stood outside, drawing admiring glances from those passing simians who were in the know.

"So, whaddya think about the McConnel girl?" said Drecker, lighting up his third smoke. "Is she some kind of agent?"

"Naw," said Chongo. "Not a chance. I checked it out every which way. She's just a nice local girl who got drawn in somehow without knowing beans about it. Must've fallen for the young guy hard. Judging by what that ankle Norma says, the kid fell for her at least as hard in return. Norma would have given her eye teeth if he'd fallen for her instead. It ain't hard to see that."

"Yeah," said Drecker. "Only now I bet she's changed her mind. You know what I think? I think the guy with the glasses is the boss. He got scared after we found those bodies, and he beats it over there in a panic, says something he shouldn't of said, and figures he has to take the girl."

Chongo nodded. "Yeah. That's how I figure it too. Then they make a quick move to that warehouse and hunker down. Then they get wise to us closin' in, and they get out fast and try to make it look like they all got blown to smithereens. You find anything at all that can help over there?"

"All we've found is the remains of some bomb and detonator materials and a few half-burned documents that got blown clear of the fire. It's espionage stuff all right. They've been spying on military production lines and other stuff, but there's nothin' that'll help us find them at this point."

"I don't think we hafta find 'em," said Chongo. "They'll come to us. We just watch all around Stagg Field. I'll tell ya somethin' else. I got a whiff of the driver, the woman. If I get close to her, I'll know it. She seems to have a gift for disguise, but you can't fool the old nose."

Drecker smiled. "Regular hound dog, you are."

"Just call me 'Bowzer'," said Chongo.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 04 - 11:00 AM

Editors note: (here is some of the history behind the project at Stagg Field)


The incident
at Stagg Field

by MIKE MOORE

On December 2, 1942, the world changed, though hardly anyone knew it. In a squash court under the abandoned West Stands of Stagg Field at the University of Chicago, a handful of men and one woman achieved the first controlled release of atomic energy. The story of that day has been told often in books, articles, and on film. Arthur Holly Compton, a Nobel laureate and cosmic-ray physicist at the University of Chicago who headed the chain-reaction project, later said the experiment ushered in "a new age." But in almost the same breath, he described the experiment with a "pile" of graphite and uranium as "only an incident."

Compton, one of the world's great scientists, was not confused. He was getting at a vital but poorly understood point: The symbolic meaning of the first manmade self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction far outdistanced its experimental meaning. Something distinctly new had been accomplished December 2. Nevertheless, it was not quite the "birth of the atomic age," as so many have suggested over the years. Nor was it the pivotal moment in the atomic bomb project.

As a piece of science, the December 2 experiment was one milestone in an already sprawling and multifaceted project geared toward producing an atomic bomb in time to affect the outcome of World War II.

In September 1939, Hitler's air and ground forces eviscerated Poland as easily as a hunter might gut a deer. England and France quickly declared war. Prematurely, said many in the United States. Hitler's invasion of Poland constituted a "phony war." Now that Poland had fallen and Hitler had acquired additional "living space" on his eastern frontier, an uneasy calm would return to Europe-if England and France would act with prudence, and if the United States would hold its fire. The United States must remain neutral.

A handful of scientists in the West-emigrés from Germany and Hungary and other European nations that had taken on fascist trappings-would have no part of such isolationist nonsense. They had seen the Nazis and, in Italy, the fascists close up. They believed that Hitler and his tag-along, Mussolini, intended to build a new order on a foundation of bones and blood. German technology and industry would assist Hitler. But German science could prove even more decisive. It might produce a superweapon-a uranium bomb. With that, a Third Reich could be created- and maintained.

In late 1938, German scientists had demonstrated that when uranium, the heaviest natural element, was bombarded with neutrons slowed by a "moderator," some of the uranium atoms would split into two lighter elements. Niels Bohr, among others, noted that considerable energy-although thus far on a laboratory scale-was released in the process. The tight-knit world of nuclear scientists was set abuzz. By the end of 1939, nearly a hundred scholarly papers dealing with nuclear fission had been published, and many physicists had come to believe that if the energy released by fissioning could be controlled, a new source of power would become available.

Fission power could be benign. It might drive generators that would bring electricity-charged abundance to the world. But three Hungarians then living in the United States- Leo Szilard, Eugene Wigner, and Edward Teller-believed that Hitler's scientific stars were rather more likely to produce a bomb. In the summer of 1939, they asked Albert Einstein, a pacifist, to call nuclear energy to the attention of President Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Although no longer on the cutting edge of physics, and wholly oblivious to the recent ferment over fission, Einstein was the world's most famous scientist. His name carried weight. It was "conceivable," Einstein wrote FDR, that uranium could be fashioned into "extremely powerful bombs of a new type."

The President's Advisory Committee on Uranium was formed in October, under the leadership of Lyman J. Briggs, director of the National Bureau of Standards. Although Briggs quickly came to believe that nuclear energy was a promising field of research, he was near retirement and, in any event, not given to boldness. He provided little leadership in the nation's embryonic nuclear program.

For nearly a year and a half after the formation of the committee, nuclear research remained almost wholly uncoordinated. It was largely conducted on a small scale at universities from the Atlantic (Columbia) to the Pacific (the University of California at Berkeley). Although little government funding was forthcoming, the universities were often relatively generous in underwriting their own projects.

Progress in understanding nuclear physics was rapid. By early 1941, it was well understood that if enough refined natural uranium of high purity-a "critical mass"-could be brought together in one place and with the right arrangement, and if the neutrons emitted by the fissioning uranium could be slowed by a moderator such as graphite, additional fissioning would occur on such a scale that a self-sustaining chain reaction would take place.

It was further understood that uranium 238, the most common isotope of uranium, would not sustain a chain reaction. Rather, uranium 235, an isotope associated with 238 at a ratio of one to 139, would get the job done by emitting more neutrons than it absorbed. Finally, it had become clear to a few physicists that if a workable bomb could be made, it would be made with kilogram quantities of uranium 235. Rather than employ "slow" neutrons, a bomb would rely on unmoderated "fast" neutrons to produce a near-instantaneous chain reaction.

But separating uranium 235 from 238 was a daunting theoretical and technical task. They were so similar in atomic structures that obtaining uranium 235 in anything other than microscopic quantities presented staggering technical problems.

By the spring of 1941, key members of the Roosevelt administration anticipated that the United States would shortly go to war, and military preparations were increasing at a rapid pace. Research, development, and production priorities had to be set and then rigidly enforced. Nuclear science was intriguing, but financial and intellectual capital could not be wasted on intensive research and development in any field unless there was a high probability that it would help win the coming war. Unless nuclear science could pass that test, it would go to a back burner until after the war.

In April 1941, Vannevar Bush, under whose leadership America's vast but disparate scientific enterprise was being organized for war, asked the National Academy of Sciences (NAS) to evaluate the short-term military usefulness of nuclear energy. The University of Chicago's Compton chaired the NAS committee charged with the task. By fall, Compton's answer was that a bomb of "superlatively destructive power" possibly could be produced within three to five years. His report supported, at least in broad outline, the conclusions of British scientists, who were lobbying their American colleagues to build a uranium bomb.

By December 6, 1941, the eve of Pearl Harbor, a decision had been made: the United States would forge ahead on atomic-bomb research at a greatly accelerated rate. The final decision to go flat out on developing and building the bomb was made six months later, months before the Chicago pile achieved criticality.

The atomic bomb work defined what would be called today a "fast-track" project. Key elements were planned and financial commitments were made long before the theoretical and developmental work had been completed.

By early 1942, Harold Urey at Columbia University was directing a rapidly expanding program to separate uranium 235 from 238 through gaseous diffusion. Eger V. Murphree, a vice president of Standard Oil Development Co., was supervising an effort that would separate the isotopes with mechanical centrifuges. At the University of California at Berkeley, Ernest Lawrence concentrated on isotope separation through electromagnetic means, a program that eventually produced the calutron, a Lawrence-ism inspired by combining the words California and university with his own cherished invention, the cyclotron.

Meanwhile, Compton had been charged by Vannevar Bush with designing the bomb itself (a task that was soon to be taken up by J. Robert Oppenheimer) while developing something wholly new-the making of a new transuranic element called "plutonium" in a production reactor.

The uranium experiments that had been conducted by Leo Szilard and Enrico Fermi at Columbia since 1939 had been designed principally to explore the properties of uranium 235. But once researchers working elsewhere learned that neutron bombardment turned a portion of uranium 238 into 239-which quickly decayed to neptunium 239 and then to plutonium 239-a second route to producing a bomb opened up. Plutonium had fissioning properties similar to uranium 235, making it a candidate to form the explosive core of an atom bomb.

By the summer of 1942, there were, as Compton liked to say, "four horses in the race." A bomb might ultimately be fashioned around uranium 235, which would be separated from uranium 238 either by gaseous diffusion, by centrifuging, or by Lawrence's electromagnetic process. Alternatively, a bomb might be made with a core of plutonium that had been produced in a chain-reacting pile and then separated chemically.

It would have been reasonable for Compton to have based his plutonium project at Columbia or Princeton or Berkeley, schools at which sophisticated work in nuclear physics had already begun. But Compton chose his own school, the University of Chicago, which was only beginning to explore the field. Chicago had lab space, bright students, and it was far from the coasts, which might eventually be attacked. In his book, Atomic Quest, Compton recalls Lawrence's reaction to that decision:

"You'll never get the chain reaction going here. The whole tempo of the University of Chicago is too slow."

Compton bet Lawrence that a chain reaction would be accomplished by the end of the year. The stakes: a five-cent cigar. Compton won, with nearly a month to spare.

The Metallurgical Laboratory (Met Lab) was established at the university in February 1942. Although it was initially staffed by a small crew, it grew quickly. At its peak, the Met Lab employed about 5,000 people scattered among 70 research groups around the country. But despite the project's size and complexity, it's likely that most people think first of one man: Enrico Fermi, a Nobel laureate who had arrived in the United States in January 1939 with his family, refugees from fascist Italy.

Although Fermi's research interests were broad, for several years in Italy he had focused on the nature of artificial radioactivity and the effect that neutron bombardment had on various elements. He would continue his work at Columbia University, where he was joined, in an often uneasy partnership, by Szilard. When Compton moved the Fermi-Szilard chain-reacting pile project to Chicago in early 1942, Fermi did not complain. Szilard, however, protested, often and loudly; he liked New York better than Chicago.

Albert Wattenberg, a young man when he worked with Fermi on building the first self-sustaining pile (see page 40), had enormous respect for Fermi's accomplishments. Apparently, so did all of Fermi's colleagues. They were in awe of his science; he was clearly a frontrunner in nuclear physics, if not the point man. In preparing for a talk earlier this year at a meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, Wattenberg checked the indexes of four physics texts. "Einstein," said Wattenberg, "averaged about six references per book, and Niels Bohr, who was the father of atomic theory, only four. Fermi averaged 16."

Fermi had a prodigious memory, and not just for numbers. He was said to have memorized long sections of the Divine Comedy and other books of poetry. But it was in his work that his mental powers seemed most startling. Says Wattenberg: "During the war when we were working together, I probably measured the cross-sections for about 70 different elements [to discover their ability to absorb neutrons]. In the course of discussions, when something came up, Fermi remembered, off the top of his head, all of the values of those cross-sections."

But perhaps the characteristic that most endeared Fermi to his colleagues and assistants was that, unlike Szilard, he did not mind getting his hands dirty. William Sturm, who after the war became a researcher and administrator at Oak Ridge and Argonne National Laboratories, was a 24-year-old graduate student at the University of Chicago when he met Fermi.

Sturm was about to be inducted into the army. His job would be to join the bustling and vital Anglo-American radar-development team in England. Sturm visited Compton, his dean, to say goodbye. Compton said that, yes, radar was important, but that Enrico Fermi had just arrived on campus and he was looking for some good people to work with him on an exciting project. Why not look Fermi up?

Sturm dashed around the physics department, asking where Fermi could be found. He was finally directed to the department's machine shop. "I saw a few students and machinists I knew," recalls Sturm. "And across the room was a big band saw with big clouds of black dust coming from it. That was Fermi. He was sawing graphite."

Fermi seemed to be expecting Sturm. He stopped his work, sat down on a window sill, and for five or 10 minutes matter-of-factly laid out what he proposed to do at Chicago. The team he was putting together would first develop a self-sustaining chain reaction in a graphite-moderated uranium pile. If possible, they would then design a plutonium-production reactor that would generate fissile material for bombs.

As secrecy and "compartmentalization" later enveloped the mushrooming multi-site atomic bomb project, such a free-wheeling "uncleared" discussion would have been nearly impossible to imagine, much less to engage in.

But in the spring of 1942, Fermi was focused on the careful, step-by-step process that would be needed if the United States was to actually make a device that might end the war. The first major step was to assemble a chain-reacting pile and make it "go."

Today, after more than 40 years of a nuclear arms race, it's difficult to recreate the idealistic spirit that animated the original bomb project. If anyone should have such terrible weapons, reasoned scientists like Albert Einstein, Leo Szilard, Eugene Wigner, Edward Teller, Enrico Fermi, J. Robert Oppenheimer, Ernest Lawrence, Arthur Holly Compton, and-eventually- thousands more, it should be the United States, not Nazi Germany.

After the conclusion of the December 2 experiment, Wigner produced a bottle of Chianti that he had tucked away in a brown paper bag. Chianti was appropriate, Wigner said later, because Fermi was Italian. "Even though our hearts were by no means light when we sipped our wine around Fermi's pile," Wigner wrote in 1962, "our fears were undefined, like the vague apprehensions of a man who has done something bigger than he ever expected to."

Some 33 months after the group had finished off the Chianti bottle, bombs "of a new type" fell on two Japanese cities, chosen principally because they had not yet been destroyed by Gen. Curtis Lemay's strategic bombing campaign. Being relatively intact, Hiroshima and Nagasaki would clearly show the effects of the new devices.

One bomb had a fissile heart of uranium 235, the other of plutonium. Upwards of 100,000 men, women and children died, some instantly, others in the minutes and hours and weeks and years that followed. The Japanese quickly sued for peace.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: GUEST,Officer McLagen
Date: 06 Feb 04 - 01:09 PM

For a pretty close match to Drecker's yellow caddy, look at this beauty...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3172910695&category=2582&ssPageName=Merch06

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 06 Feb 04 - 11:52 PM

General Groves had had to catch a red eye military flight back to Chicago, traveling incognito so as not to attract too much attention even from his own beloved Army. He'd flown out early to Washington to report to President Roosevelt about the problems with lab security. Roosevelt had damn near handed him his ass. But after cooling down had observed that even the best laid plans of mice and men err oft go astray. Groves had suggested that because of the potential for collateral damage should the spies be able to penetrate security that maybe the lab should be moved. Roosevelt was tired, very tired. He just sighed and told Groves to carry on where he was.
"It's too late in this war to stop and move," he said, "we know they're working on the same idea.
At this time intelligence tells me we're ahead of them. If they get there first there's no telling how the war will go. We may have them beat hands down with numbers of troops and the ability to turn out the machinery of war, but if they can threaten any city in the U.S. with the extreme destruction that our scientists tell us these bombs are capable of...well then I just don't know."
"Get on back to the project General. All you can do is your best and I trust you to do that."

General Groves saluted Roosevelt and Roosevelt returned it with a small smile. "Good Luck General."

Groves dozed off during the flight only to dream of American cities going up in flames. Chicago, New York, Washington D.C., the military bases in Hampton Roads. Everywhere dead bodies, charred and burned by radiation, survivors pleading for help with Groves helpless to assuage the poison that was killing them before his eyes. And all the while vague images of small chimps watching him. He dozed fitfully and woke with tears on his cheeks. He had to ensure that the Nazis didn't stop the project and that they didn't get the bomb themselves. And God forbid that the Japanese should get the bomb from the Nazis.

Groves didn't bother going back to his quarters when he arrived back in Chicago. He did his best to make himself comfortable in his desk chair and caught as much sleep as possible before the morning arrived. He figured he had one last shot at doing something about the spies. A long shot at best but he had to go for it.

The changing of the guard at the lab woke him the next morning. He'd saved at least an hour by not returning to his quarters. It was time to put that time to good use. The General grabbed his phone and placed a call to Chongo.
"I think I've got something here. Can you get down here before work begins at seven? Good. I'll meet you at the entrance to the labs."

Chongo hit the streets running and arrived a short time later. Groves had just had enough time to wash up and shave. Being a good General meant having a spare uniform or two in the office locker in case of unannounced visits by the higher-ups. Groves was almost always assured that he'd never have a problem with the image that he portrayed.

"Okay General, fill me in on your idea and let's see where it goes," Chongo said, "and I hope it goes somewhere because I'm fresh out of ideas other than sitting around and waiting for them to attack.
"Well Chongo, I got to thinking about our situation. The chimps that the spies used didn't just wander around looking for things. They were put in specific shafts that lead to certain areas. That tells me that security had already been compromised to a certain extent before the chimps were used."
"And now with the chimps gone you figure that whoever managed to get in here before might try again but this time they might bring a bomb with them?" Chongo asked grimly.
"That and if they got through once they might have been here several times. The warehouse that was blown up. The papers said that the police had a reliable source that no-one had been inside when it went up. By the way, they're saying that it was a gas leak that caused the explosion. "I figure that you're the source the police were quoting?"
"Probably so," Chongo said.
"Well if your sense of smell is that good then you can probably pick up the scents of our workers and any guests that might have been admitted. Since you also went to the cabin I figure you might be able to find out which rooms they were in, and from there we might be able to figure out who their sponsor was. Once we know that we can probably get a physical description. Hopefully that will lead us somewhere."
"Sounds like a great idea to me General. Let's get moving before the staff gets in here and overpowers any lingering scents."

General Groves didn't waste time taking Chongo to rooms that hadn't been infiltrated by the chimps. They didn't have a lot of time. The scents of the staff were very strong in the rooms so it wasn't easy for Chongo to pick out the underlying traces, but he was beginning to get a nagging at the back of his brain. By the third room he thought he had it.
"General, I think I've got you a lead," he said, "I don't think you're going to like it."
"Give it to me, Chongo, I don't have time for games."
"You were probably figuring on a male? Some dignitary that visited and is working for the other side?"
"I told you we haven't got the time for this, but yes, I did figure that it was male, why?"
"General you've got female troubles."
"Come again?"
"The way I figure it, you've got someone on the staff trying to act the bigshot. He tries to play up how important he is by taking his "girlfriend" around and showing her the place. Whoever it is figured she'd be too dumb to understand and she probably helped him with that illusion. He didn't have a clue that he was giving a guided tour to a Nazi spy. Then scent in these rooms is the same one I smelled faintly in the remains of the warehouse and in the delivery van they used as a getaway car. Check with your guards for female visitors and you'll have your man."

General Groves took Chongo back to his office and consulted with the security detachment. With all of the people filing in it took a little while but he returned to the office with two MPs flanking him, a rather dejected looking Sargent between them.
"Here he is Chongo, here's our leak!"
The sargent looked startled at seeing the chimp, but then just hung his head.
"Does he know what you're talking about General?"
"I haven't let him in on the whole ball game just yet. Gentlemen you are dismissed."
The MPs saluted smartly, performed an about face and left Grove's office with some haste.
"Sargent, this is Chongo."
"Chongo, Sargent Victor James".
"James, Chongo is investigating a spy ring that has penetrated the lab."
Sargent James looked startled and bolted upright in his chair.
"You don't think I'm......You don't think I'd....."
"No Sargent, we know that you're not a spy," Chongo said, "but you know someone who is."
"I'm quite sure that I don't know what you're talking about."
"Your girl, James, the one you escorted through the lab on a "private" unauthorized tour," General Groves growled, "she's a spy and you let her in. You let her case the lab without once thinking about the consequence. Inadvertently you're responsible for the deaths of a dozen or so young primates that they used to further infiltrate the lab. Yeah, that's right! The rumors you heard are true! Now it's payback time. You are going to tell Chongo everything you know about the woman that you showed around here. Every detail of her appearance right down to any birthmarks she might have and I don't care how embarrassing this might be for you. It might sound trite but the fate of the free world may hang on you!"

It was hours before Chongo was done with Sargent James.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 04 - 09:48 AM

(Great stuff, CC!! Just great!)

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 01:40 PM

Otto had driven into the tiny hamlet of Rockland, Michigan, a few miles from the hideout, to get the latest word from Ursula. It was a terse telegram informing him that she was still "on the job", and nothing more than that. Otto swore, crumpled it up, threw it in the nearest trash bin and headed back to the car. He hated being out of the loop, and intended to do something about it soon.

On his way back he stared morosely at the endless forested wilderness that closed in around both sides of the road. He might as well be in Siberia, he thought, with disgust. They were totally isolated and useless here.

On returning to the cabin he got a surprise upon opening the front door, when he found himself looking straight down the barrel of a gun...Martin's .38 revolver.

"Hello, Otto, we've been expecting you," said Martin, reasonably. "Now if you would just quietly raise your hands..."

Otto stood frozen in shock. A quick glance around the room revealed Bruno, tied securely up in a wooden chair, and Brehmer handling a snub-nosed pistol, which was also pointed straight at Otto. Kathryn was standing beside Brehmer, her eyes shining.

"What in hell is this?" spluttered Otto.

"I'm sorry, Otto," said Bruno, his face red with frustration. "They got the drop on me."

Brehmer had handed his gun to Kathryn and stepped forward. He went through Otto's jacket and removed not one, but two weapons, both Lugers, tucked one of them into his own pockets and kept the other.

"Sit down, Otto," said Martin. "And I shall explain it all."

Otto took a seat. He was pale, and at this point quite speechless with anger.

"You see, Otto, things have reached a point here where they can only get worse," said Martin. "I have considered where we may all go from here, and it doesn't add up to anything good. Number one, I know you would eventually decide to shoot this young woman...no, don't deny it...we haven't time for that now. When you did that, you would surely have to kill Brehmer too...or he would kill you...or maybe I would. Then there's Bruno, who as we all know is a fellow who goes by the book and follows orders. It would come down to him killing Brehmer or Brehmer killing him or...you see what I mean? And for what, Otto? For exactly what? For nothing! This mission is a fool's errand. We cannot get into or stop that atomic project unless we all intend to commit suicide doing it, and that is clearly not going to happen. Ursula thinks she can do it somehow, but I think she's wrong. She may try, but she won't succeed."

Otto finally found his voice. "What do you take me for?" he snarled. "Some kind of monster? I would never kill this girl."

"Yes you would," said Martin calmly. "Just like you did those young apes. I know you, Otto. I will not be complicit in pointless murders that accomplish nothing anyway."

"You are a traitor!" said Otto, his eyes burning with a cold rage. "I'll see you hung on a meat hook for this!"

"I don't think so," said Martin. "Now I'll tell you what we're going to do. We need the car, Otto. Brehmer and Kathryn and I are going on a little road trip, and we won't be back. We are bailing out of this war which is lost anyway. If you don't know it then you're simply denying unpleasant realities. I have no reason to do you any harm and I don't intend to. My advice to you and Bruno is simple. Give it up now. Get out of this country by any way you can. You can't stop that project, but will only get yourselves caught or killed. You've seen the American production figures, and you know it as well as I do, Otto, it's over. Germany can't win this war. I am regretful of that, but I accept realities."

"But we could win it if we had the new weapon!" said Otto fiercely.

"Perhaps," admitted Martin. "But we can't get it. Not you and I, not Ursula, not any of our agents. It can't be done. Therefore, it's a pipedream...unless our scientists in Europe achieve an unexpected breakthrough. I can't count on that happening."

"I should have blown you up in the warehouse," said Otto bitterly. "All three of you."

Martin shrugged. "You would never have managed it. I'm not that stupid."

Otto said nothing, but he thought of Ursula. She could have arranged it. She would have, if he had just taken the bull by the horns.

"Well," observed Martin. "That about sums it up. I didn't think you would prove to amenable to reason, but I thought it fair to let you know where things stand. I have taken the liberty of dipping into the emergency funds. Just enough to allow us to travel. Don't worry, I've left you plenty of cash too. If you're smart, you will buy yourself another car and get moving...anywhere but in the direction of Chicago. As for Ursula...well, Ursula has a way of looking after herself, but I doubt we shall see her again." He got up and buttoned his jacket. "Best of luck, gentlemen!" He gave them a smile, a little bow and a click of the heels. "Otto...Bruno...it's been...interesting, hasn't it? If we all survive the war I'll buy you both a bottle of schnaps or tequila. See you in Montevideo, perhaps? On the beach."

"I'll see you in hell," muttered Bruno darkly, straining at his bonds. As for Otto, he just ground his teeth in impotent fury.

"You should have let me go back to Germany when I wanted to, Otto," said Brehmer pointedly. "I'll give you one last warning. Don't pursue us. Don't even think about it. And don't think of doing anything to Kathryn either or I'll put a bullet through your brain. Do as Martin says and stay well away from us. I will NOT buy you a bottle of schnaps after the war."

Otto glowered back at him wordlessly, imagining all the terrible things he would do to Brehmer. Futile imaginings.

And with that they were out the door. Otto was out of his chair and moving fast for the office when he heard the car doors shutting. He was looking for another gun...but couldn't find one.

"Otto, untie me," yelled Bruno. "I know where they put the rifles."

Too late. By the time Otto had Bruno untied the escapees were well on their way, and Otto was fit to be tied himself.

* * * * *

Brehmer was driving. "Christ! It feels good to be piloting something again, even if it is just a car," he said. And it feels good to be free! Even the air smells fresher!" He laughed for the pure joy and excitment of it, and Kathry was smiling brightly too, although she was wondering just what they would do next.

"Where to, Commander?" asked Brehmer merrily.

Martin smiled. "Never mind about that, this is an association of equals from here on in. You're been discharged, Jurgen. I suggest we go somewhat south, but not too close to Chicago." He studied the map. "Why not make for Madison, Wisconsin? Kathryn, could you drive yourself back to Chicago from Madison?"

"Yes...I could...but...what about...?"

"Jurgen and I shall find other means from there. We can't be seen in this car for very long. Otto and Bruno will walk or ski into town, and then who knows? They will probably get another car and contact Ursula. The safest thing for you to do is...either travel on with us, and that would be very risky, so I frankly don't advise it...or go back to Chicago and put yourself under the protection of the police at once. Only do us a favour and tell them that Brehmer and I are traveling east, if you would. East to the Atlantic coast."

"Yes..." said Kathryn. She was torn. Part of her wanted to stay beside Brehmer, risk or no risk, and face whatever came...the other part told her that she had to go back home at once and do her duty, do whatever she could to stop Ursula and Otto. She had responsibilities that could not simply be walked away from. Things were just not that easy. It was the war again. Damn the war. But without the war, she and Brehmer would never have met. It gave both of them a good deal to think about on the long drive to Madison.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 05:33 PM

Otto raged around for a few minutes while Bruno busied himself locating the rifles, a couple more handguns, and other necessary gear. Upon investigating the money cache (Berlin had a practice of supplying its spies in the Allied countries with a significant amount of foreign currency, including American greenbacks, both real and counterfeit...) Otto discovered to his fury that there was $15,000 dollars missing...and it was the real stuff. Martin was being exceptionally careful. He had taken no counterfeit bills whatsoever. With $15,000 he and Brehmer could easily get to anywhere they wanted to and have a nice nest egg for the future besides.

It couldn't be helped. He would enlist Ursula's aid, find them, and kill them. That was more important to Otto now than the atomic project. Whether it would be more important to Ursula remained to be seen...she could be infuriatingly single-minded. But she would certainly act to eliminate the girl, should she return to Chicago...and it seemed reasonable that she would...unless she had fallen so hard for Brehmer that she would follow him to South America...anything was possible with these young fools when they fell in love.

Ten minutes later he and Bruno were on skis and heading for Rockland as fast as they could go. Otto wished now that he had been walking daily and keeping in top condition like Brehmer. He was shortly getting very tired. Up ahead of him Bruno was doing much better. Eventually Otto told him not to wait, but get to Rockland and send a telegram to Ursula at once...then rent or steal a car. Otto would make the best time he could and meet Bruno on the road or in Rockland at the post office. Bruno pressed on with the utmost speed and determination and soon left Otto far behind.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 06:00 PM

Chongo had gotten a phone call from General Grove. It seemed there was someone the general wanted him to meet, but he was mysterious about just who it was. Chongo wondered idly if he was going to meet President Roosevelt himself or maybe J. Edgar Hoover or better yet, the Mighty Joe Young, nephew of Kong. Naw...not likely! It was probably just some other bozo in a suit like that jerk Dickie that Kerchak had disposed of. Some G-Man who secretly or not so secretly hated primates and would be not too subtle about showing it. Chongo pulled on his best trenchcoat and headed out to deal with it.

When he got to General Groves' office and showed his I.D. the guard sent him right on in. Groves appeared to be in a good mood. He offered Chongo a top quality Cuban cigar, then sat there smiling like the cat that had eaten the canary. What was he so damned amused about?

"Chongo," said the General, "we are making some very good progress here. I am confident that we will have those Nazi agents very shortly, and I want to introduce you to someone who can help identify them and nail them to the wall."

Great, thought Chongo. Here it comes. Another 'Dickie'. Try to act nonchalant while you figure out how to work around this guy and still get the job done...

Groves pushed a button on his desk. "Send Agent Mason in."

The door opened and Chongo heard not the step of a man, but the sound of a woman's heels. He turned to look and almost fell off his chair. His little monkey brain did a quick shift past neutral into overdrive, tried to change gears too fast, jammed the clutch, and stalled completely, while his stomach landed with a thump somewhere east of Katmandu.

"Chongo Chimp, may I introduce one of our best agents, Miss Laura Mason, recently back from an assignment in North Africa. Oh, but you have met before, haven't you?" The general was grinning from ear to ear, enjoying his little joke on Chongo enormously.

"We have," said Laura, smiling graciously, "and he's a great dancer. How's business, Chongo?"

It was one of those rare moments when Chongo Chimp was completely at a loss for words.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 06:46 PM

Laura "M", by god! Same face, same glossy dark hair, a little longer, but still curving in around her perfect jawline, same sculptured cheekbones, same fathomless eyes, same killer legs going all the way up to Everest. Chongo mumbled his way through some kind of greeting and couldn't remember afterward what the hell he had said to her.

Then they got down to business...thank God. Laura had plenty of useful info. It wasn't clear where she'd gotten it, but Chongo didn't particularly care. He had confidence in Laura. The buzzing in his ears was beginning to subside and he began concentrating on the details as she laid them out for him and Groves.

"First of all," she said, "we've got Otto. Otto Kretschmar from the city of Dusseldorf, Germany. Came to North America in '38 and went underground. He is almost certainly in charge of the Chicago cell. Here are some photos."

Chongo took a good look. Nasty looking character with glasses, just the way they'd described the bird that abducted the girl from the cafe/bakery.

"Next we have Martin Bauer, a well-educated man who used to work in the construction industry in Berlin. He's a demolition expert, among other things, and has numerous other talents as well. A very capable fellow."

The pictures this time showed a pleasant-looking fellow with a keen intelligence in his eyes, dressed in a suit and fedora. There was also a photo of him on a construction site, directing some workers in setting up their equipment.

"Bauer also came to America in '38. With him came another man, Bruno Fallenberg. We don't have much information on him, other than that he worked as a machinist before the war."

This was a big guy. He looked like a typical G-Man or carry-outer to Chongo. You saw guys like that every day, but Chongo wouldn't miss this guy if he spotted him.

"And last..." said Laura, "we have Fraulein Ursula Neuhoff, a professional agent for the Nazis since 1933 and a top operative. We don't know when she came to America, and have only recently suspected she was here at all. She was thought to be in Sweden. Miss Neuhoff is a diehard Nazi loyalist and an extremely deadly and effective agent. Do not underestimate her. She'll kill you in a moment if you give her the chance."

This time the pictures showed Chongo something he already knew plenty about. Ursula Neuhoff was a dead ringer for the blonde girlfriend described by the hapless Sergeant Victor James.

"How did you get all this stuff, Laura?" he asked.

"I only got some of it myself, Chongo. I don't work alone by any means. It took years of work by many people to put it all together. Are these our pigeons? Or do I have to ask?"

"If they aren't, I'm a rainbow-nosed baboon," said Chongo. "And I ain't. What about the young guy? The good-lookin' one?"

"He's a bit of a puzzle," said Laura. "We're still looking into it. He doesn't match any profile in our records at this point."

"Well, keep looking," said General Groves. "I believe we'll have these people in our hands within days now that we have these photos. Get to it. Chongo, you need anything, you just tell Miss Mason. And catch those people. I want them alive if at all possible."

"I understand," said Chongo. "I only hope Kerchak does as well..."

"Kerchak?" said Laura, frowning. "I remember him. He's a dangerous customer, as I recall. Doesn't he have it in for you?"

"Yeah, he does...sort of," admitted Chongo, "but he's got other priorities right now. We practically drink out of the same bottle these days. Funny, isn't it?"

"Well, it's certainly convenient," said Laura, flashing a brilliant smile at him. "Okay, I'm still fagged out from flying across the Atlantic, but I'm not too tired for a meal and a drink in a good Chicago restaurant. In fact, I think I'd almost kill for it at this point. You got any ideas on that?"

"I know just the place," said Chongo, feigning great aplomb. He was back on his feet again, hands firmly on the grapevine and ready to pound his chest and yell "Ungawa!". You can't keep a good ape down for long.

"But I ain't dancin' this time," he added, truculently. (Not in public anyway, he thought...whew! Gotta watch these wild fantasies. They could get a chimp in serious trouble one day if he didn't watch it.)

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 03:07 PM

Hours later Chongo was still dreaming of the Dinner with Laura. The food had been superb, the band played splendidly, he'd actually begun hoping that Laura would ask him to dance again, just to hold her in his arms. Laura was coy and mysterious and now that Chongo knew she was much more worldly he found her so much more attractive.

She'd asked Chongo to stop over at her apartment on the way to the restaurant so that she could change out of her working clothes and into something a little more appropriate. He'd been as gentlemanly as possible with every fiber of his being screaming to at least go and peak while she changed. When she emerged from
Her room she was wearing a blue chiffon evening gown that accented her eyes and contrasted nicely with her hair. Chongo was dumbstruck. Laura smiled and did a little pirouette for Chongo.
"What do you think?" she asked. Chongo could only nod appreciatively.

After dinner they'd lingered over drinks making small talk until the mait're de shooed them out. Chongo had been so entranced that he hadn't noticed the time fly by. He walked her home through the dark streets, telling her jokes just to hear her laughter. She said goodnight to him in front of the apartment complex. Chongo was disappointed but he hadn't been expecting an invitation for a night cap or even a good night kiss. But you can't blame a chimp for hoping now can you?

So now it was five in the morning and in his dream Chongo was waltzing with his Venus, impossibly high above the ground, across the clouds. As his telephone rang he tripped in his dream and fell to the cloudy floor, through the floor and still falling. He awoke with a start. Reality was too damn insistent!
"Chongo, damn-it! Pick up the phone!" Groves voice growled from the other end.
"Hello General," Chongo replied yawning, "What's up?"
"Chongo, we just got a call from the police dept. about somebody wanting to blow up the University. I think our friends are coming to pay a visit."
Chongo was wide awake an dressing in an instant. "I'll be right there General!" he said hanging up the phone. With one hand checking the load in his .45 he called Kerchak with the other.
Kerchak groggily answered. Chongo thought he heard a woman say "who is it honey?"
Like Chongo, Kerchak sprung out of bed, vengance and adrenalin igniting his blood better than any caffeine from any coffee.
"Kerchak, meet me in front of the University. I've got some friends for you to meet. And bring some of the boys, we might need some help." Chongo didn't wait for an answer.

"It was such a simple plan it just might work," thought Otto under a pile of blankets in the front seat of he sedan "borrowed" from the truck stop that Bruno had found. Otto had continued following the tracks of Bruno's skis for what seemed like hours. He was still not quite defrosted but the truck stop coffee that Bruno had actually payed for was having some effect.

Bruno had called Ursula. Otto was glad that Bruno had done it instead of him. Bruno could stand steadfast through the gale front of any storm and that's just what the first few minutes of the conversation had been like when Ursula found out that Martin, Brehmer and Kathleen had escaped. She ranted and raved about incompetence and what she would do to Otto and Brehmer once they were safely back in the reich for a time and then with supreme effort calmed herself. She said that she didn't think that Martin or Brehmer would betray them but that that "Little Bitch" would just to spite Ursula personally. Time was running out, desperate times calling for desperate measures. Ursula outlined the plan for them.

Since the discreet method was out of the question and they had no time for alternatives, it was time for a frontal assault. Otto was startled and would have protested had he been on the phone. Bruno just grunted assent. She was in charge he knew and if it meant that he would lose his life for the Reich then so be it. There were holes in Ursula's plan and some of it depended on a great deal of luck, but it just might work.
Ursula would meet up with them at a pre-arranged spot and give them the explosives that she had brought with her. She would take some smoke bombs and a couple of small incendiary devices and drop them in the air intake vents that did not lead to the pile. They had barred the vents from intrusion by anything as large as the smallest monkey but since then they had taken no further action in their regard aside from patrolling the area occasionally. With the ensuing smoke and fires in the compound someone would assuredly pull the fire alarm which would cause an evacuation of the compound. Otto and Bruno would acquire wheeled fire extinguishers and hide the explosives on the carts. They would then head for the lab and buffalo their way through the workers that were fleeing the smoke and fire looking like two volunteers trying to put out the fire. After accessing the lab spaces they would plant the explosives. With the alarm bells still ringing they could take care of any individuals that got too nosy with their lugers and not draw attention. Otto and Bruno would drop their disguises, grab lab coats and exit the lab. Ursula would meet them at the parking lot upwind of the lab with enough time to get a few blocks away before the bombs turned the lab into an ungodly radioactive hell for the city of Chicago.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 03:54 PM

Chongo arrived at the University to find Drecker's Cadillac sitting outside on the curb.
General Groves appeared at the entrance of the building and led Chongo to his office.
Drecker seemed very surprised for a moment, but checked his expression as Chongo entered the room.
"Chongo, this is Detective Drecker from the Chicago Police Dept. His office handled the call about the bomb."
"Thank you sir, we've met on occasion," Chongo said with a grin.
"Okay then, go ahead detective."
"Yes sir, at about 3 o'clock this morning our office took a call from a woman tending the switchboard at a hotel on the outskirts of the city. According to her one of the guests at the hotel was a strikingly good looking woman who was reportedly traveling alone. The manager of the hotel was suspicious because their were no "ahem" visitors to her room as would normally be the case. He had the receptionist monitor her phone calls and the receptionist over heard her say something about bombing the university."
Drecker continued, "We sent a squad car over to investigate but the woman had left the hotel and took everything with her. Since we couldn't find any evidence to suggest that she had a bomb or didn't for that matter, we decided to inform you of a possible threat.
"So you think they're on their way General?" Chongo asked.
"Yes, I'd say we're going to have some visitors, at least they won't be unexpected now. Thanks for the warning Detective. I think we'll take it from here.
Chongo escorted Drecker back to his car.
"Is there anything I can do Chongo?"
"Yeah, get the wife and kids and call in sick. Today would be a real good day to go on a trip, call it an extended weekend and take them a few hours north. If this doesn't work out I don't want to think that I failed you or them." Chongo said this without looking at Drecker. Drecker laid his hand on Chongo's shoulder.
"Sounds like a great idea to me, good luck Chongo."

Kerchak hadn't shown up yet but Laura walked in somehow looking no worse for the long night they'd had. "Dames amaze me!" Chongo thought to himself. The General filled her in with what details they had.
"I guess it's a waiting game then," Laura said with a sigh, "Damn I hate waiting!"
"Me too toots, me too," Chongo replied.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 09:45 PM

Martin and Brehmer put Kathryn on a bus in Madison, having decided she'd be safer that way than in the car, which might be spotted. It wasn't an easy farewell. Martin stood back at the last to give the kids a little time by themselves. They were both looking a bit teary.

"I shall write to you," said Brehmer. "I promise. As soon as I can. Just make sure you get police protection immediately upon your arrival. Promise me that, darling."

"Yes, I will. But how will I know if you're safe, Jurgen? They may be looking for you too."

"Oh, I'm sure they are," he said, "but they won't find me. I will be in Mexico sooner than you can say...'Jack Robertson'"

"It's 'Jack Robinson'," she said, smiling a bit through her tears.

"Oh. Well, 'Jack Robinson', then." Brehmer laughed. "I have so many expressions to learn, but no time to learn them now."

"All aboard for Chicago!" yelled the uniformed driver. "Last call!"

"That's it," said Brehmer. "You must go now." All he could see was her eyes, hazel eyes shining into his mournfully. She caught her breath, embraced him fiercely for a moment. One last kiss. And then she was gone. Brehmer stood for a long time watching as the bus pulled away. He could not have found any words to describe what he felt. Then he heard Martin approaching.

"Don't worry. She'll be all right. Want to break your fast and have a cigarette? It might snap you out of your blue mood."

"No thanks," replied Brehmer. "I've given up on them for good, blue mood or not. So...what is our plan, Martin? Do we drive to Mexico?"

"Not in this car. No, Jurgen, I have a much better idea. There is a civil airport only a few miles from here. We are going to go and buy an airplane there, if we can find a good one, and you are going to fly us to Mexico, my friend. Time you started earning your keep in the way you are best suited for."

"Well...I'll be damned," said Brehmer, raising his eyebrows, "but...just how much money did you take from Otto's cash, Martin?"

Martin smiled. "Fifteen thousand dollars. And it's not counterfeit, either. The real stuff, Jurgen. As for Otto, I left him plenty enough to get himself in further trouble with. I'm not a greedy man, just a practical one."

Brehmer laughed out loud. "You're a very practical man, my friend! Let's go and look at airplanes."

* * * * *

By midafternoon the deal was done. The airfield they flew to had had a handful of planes for sale. Of those, two had interested Brehmer...a Stearman PT-17 that was in nice shape, and much better than that, a Beecraft 18 twin-engine modern aircraft. He checked them over thoroughly, tried out the engines, and took each plane for a short flight, accompanied by the airfield manager, who was impressed by Brehmer's knowledge of airplanes and his enthusiasm for them.

"By God, son, you should be flying for the Army Air Corps," he said. "They need men like you."

Brehmer thanked him, and said he was thinking about it, but he had to clear away some business first. Maybe in the Spring he would volunteer, and get to fly P-38's. (Little did this guy know some of Brehmer's old squadron buddies were probably fighting those same P-38's right now over the Med! They referred to it as "the fork-tailed devil", and had a very healthy respect for the big twin-boom fighter.)

"What do you think?" he said to Martin. "The Stearman is a good plane, and I can set her down anywhere with absolute ease...but the Beechcraft is a magnificent airplane. With that plane you could run a very good business, as long as there are airstrips available to fly to. I just don't want to use too much of our money."

"The Stearman's got open cockpits, Brehmer. Damn cold and windy. You know me, I like my creature comforts. I am going to offer this fellow what I think is a good price, and throw in the car with it. We'll see if he goes for it. If not, we buy the Stearman."

Brehmer nodded. He went over and studied the Beech from one end to the other. It was a truly inspired design in every way.

Ten minutes later Martin came over, smiling broadly. "It's a deal. Jurgen, we are now the proud owners of a Beechcraft 18. I have the papers. Let's get a meal, a room at the nearest motor lodge, and a meal. We fly in the morning."

"Martin," said Brehmer. "You are a wonder."

* * * * *

Kathryn's bus pulled into downtown Chicago at 8 pm. She didn't go home, but caught a cab and went straight to the police station. Fifteen minutes later she was telling her tale to a very interested Detective Lance Drecker. Drecker had followed Chongo's advice and gotten his wife and kids out of town...but not himself. He had no intention of missing the finale if there was to be one, and it looked like there very well might be.

"These two that helped you...why did they do that?" asked Drecker, watching her eyes very closely.

"I'd say it was for several reasons," said Kathryn, looking like she was thinking hard about it. "Number one, they had decided that the whole plot to sabotage that secret project at the University was completely unrealistic and suicidal. They wanted no further part of it."

"Hmmmm..." grunted Drecker, noncomittally. "What were their names?"

"The older man was named 'Van Skelde" or something like that...I don't know his first name...and the younger man is called 'Wally'. Wally Krupinski."

Drecker knew she was covering up something, and he suspected it was because of the young guy. She was sweet on the guy for sure, according to what the girl Norma at the store had said. So she was protecting him.

"You say they were driving Otto's car. Do you know who Otto is? He's a nazi spy commander. His full name is Otto Kretschmar, similar to the name of some ace U-boat commander, but spelled a little differently. He's a very dangerous man."

"I know that," said Kathryn, showing a flash of anger. "I'm not stupid! That's why I've come here to warn you and the government people. Otto and the other fellow are at that cabin, a few miles east of Rockland. If you don't believe me, get the cops up there to check it out."

"Oh, I will," said Drecker. "I will. And don't think I'm not appreciative of your help, Miss McConnell. I am. You say they've been in contact with the female agent...Ursula?"

"Yes. In regular contact. And she is definitely back in Chicago now."

"Yeah. I'd bet on that too," said Drecker. "I need to know a couple more things. Namely...describe the car that you made your getaway in, and see if you can suggest where they might be going in it now."

"It's a maroon-colored 1939 Packard," said Kathryn. (that was a lie...the car was actually a black 1938 Pontiac) "I don't have any idea where they're going. They dropped me off in Madison, and I was grateful to be alive. I didn't ask them any questions I didn't have to."

Drecker wrote it all down and let the clock tick for awhile.

"Is there anything else?" asked Kathryn, when she couldn't stand the silence any longer.

"Yeah. This Krupinski. Wally Krupinski. He was your boyfriend according to Norma, your coworker."

Kathryn flushed a bit. "I...went out with him a couple of times. He was a nice guy. I don't know what he is, but I don't think he's a German spy at all, I think he got caught up in it somehow by accident. That jerk Otto came to the store, pulled a gun on both of us, and forced us into his car. I don't blame Wally for it. What you need to do is stop worrying about Wally and Van-whatever-his-name-is...they're harmless...they saved my life! Worry about Otto and Ursula. They are anything but harmless."

"You got that right," said Drecker. "Okay. It's getting late. I think we can take a break on this, Miss McConnell. I want you to stay somewhere safe until the show is over...which oughta be soon, given the info you've given me about the hideout in Rockland. Don't go back to your store or your apartment.   Don't go to any of the usual places where you would normally be. In fact, I am gonna arrange for a hotel room for you, and have it watched...to protect you, you understand. I want you to stay there and put up with that for at least a few days. We may need you to identify suspects shortly. I'll call you the moment we do."

Kathryn nodded. She felt totally exhausted and wanted nothing more than to lie down and sleep somewhere, anywhere, and not answer any more questions.

Drecker got busy. He arranged for the hotel room, detailed two plainclothes men to take Kathryn there and watch the place, and assigned others to stake out her apartment and the store. Something would turn up. He also put out the word on that maroon 1939 Packard, assuming she'd told the truth about that. He was not at all sure she had. But she was probably right...those two guys didn't matter all that much. It was the other ones he had to run down. Otto, Ursula, and Bruno. Might as well pass the word to Chongo too. And then catch a few hours sleep, if he was lucky.

* * * *

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 10:27 PM

The hours ticked away with Groves and Chongo smoking havannas waiting for the shoe to drop. Chongo was about to crawl out of his skin. Lunch had come and gone, sandwiches and chips brought in from the commisary. Not bad, and definitely better than the c-rations that the boys were chewing on the continent, much better than going hungry. Bathroom trips were executed as efficiently as possible. No one wanted to miss their chance to stop the "big bang", and nobody wanted to die on the can should the others fail to do so.
Laura came and went between the lab and the college checking with the security forces in place. In an outfit of a nice past the knee skirt and a loose cardigan sweater over a white blouse, she looked just like any coed attending classes. Kerchak had not yet showed. For some reason Chongo was worried about him.

Ursula met Otto and Bruno at a park outside the city. She personally ranted at Otto for awhile, what she'd saved from her conversation with Bruno and then went over the plan again. She had enough explosives to accomplish the demolition of the building which was to be followed by exploding the pile up and out of the remains of the building. Unfortunately she only had a few incendiary devices. She'd have to be very careful in emplying them. It would be fine to catch a file room on fire but accidentally getting one of the radioactive storage rooms would be bad. She wanted to turn Chicago into an unseen fiery hell, but not with her still there. The smoke bombs she had plenty of. They were mostly meant for troop deployment on a battlefield, but she'd thought they might be handy. Together the three of them decided to wait for the evening staff to come in. Otto and Bruno's trip into Chicago had taken all night and a little darkness would help the mission. It would also give Otto and Bruno a chance to get a few winks and Ursula some time to review and smooth out any wrinkles in her plan. She was pretty sure that at least either Bruno or Otto would be killed, maybe both, as long as it wasn't her, no big loss.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 13 Feb 04 - 02:16 PM

The attack began soon after dusk. Ursula crept slowly through the long shadows dressed in a multishade gray poncho towards the vents at the base of the wall. Although she didn't know, her presence had been detected by the security force. It wasn't so much that she could be seen. The poncho was doing a very good job concealing her, but the securityman had been well trained and spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. He phoned in to the General who told him to keep a rifle trained on her and see what she did. They wanted her alive with the rest of them and although he could injure her with one shot they wanted all of them and the noise of the shot would scare the others off.

One by one the smoke bombs and incendiary devices went into the vents. Ursula knew that some of them would go straight down to a workspace while others would end up just sitting in the ducting of the vent. She did her best to put the incendiary devices in the former. Mission accomplished she crept back through the shadows and then proceeded to the pre-selected rendezvous point. She'd keep the engine running and wait, although she really didn't expect any company to escape with her.

Kathryn became figity within the first hour in the hotel room. Drecker had ben nice enough but she didn't think that he'd believed her. Here she sat, the only one that knew of the plan and she was trapped! Well maybe not so trapped after all. She checked the look through in the door carefully and sure enough both officers were still there on either side of her door. She then went to the bathroom to check if she'd be able to fit through it. She only gave her doubts aminutes thought before getting the bed sheets and blankets and forming a rope ladder which she tied to the claw foot of the bathtub. Good thing she was only on the second floor. Kathryn had seen enough prison movies to know that it could be done and hadn't she already escaped from her Nazi captors? Well.. with a little help from Brehmer. But seeing and doing weren't quite the same. Kathryn held on for dear life hanging out the bathroom window. With sheer will she went down hand over hand to the alley out back. With luck her escort wouldn't know she was gone for quite awhile. She made her way down to the street corner and caught a bus headed toward the University.

Chongo heard the clink clank clunk coming form the ventilation duct and wondered just what it was that Ursula was sending them. Seconds later he shot across the room yelling "Grenade" and flinging himself on top of it. His life flashed before his eyes. Everywhere he'd been, everyone he'd know, everything he'd done. "Wait a minute, my life's been going through my head for a long time now and the grenade should have gone off by now!", he thought. Chongo opened his eyes and looked around. The General was just standing there. Chongo began to feel a burning sensation in his stomache and could see whisps of smoke curling around his abdomen.
"That was a german smoke bomb Chongo," the Groves said with some amusement as he overturned a trashcan and motioned for Chongo to move. Chongo rolled off the bomb and Groves deflty put the can over it. "Thanks for saving my life though," he said with a grin. The earsplitting din of the fire bells cut in on him like a college jock stealing a weak freshman's girlfriend.
"I think I see their plan," yelled Groves over the din. "If I'm correct the second part of the attack will come in while we're going out!"
They both calmly headed for the exit.

Kathryn arrived on the bus moments after the alarm was activated. Fearing that she was too late, she ran towards the university to see what she could do to help. Ursula watched the bus pull off and Kathryn running across the street. She would have run her down had she had the chance. "That Bitch!," she yelled, "She'll ruin everything."
Ursula crushed out her cigarette, checked her luger and exited the car to pursue Kathryn.

Otto and Bruno had found the wheeled fire extinguishers and had moved them from their usual spots to underneath the stairwells where they could hang the bombs and hide out until the proper time. They had confiscated some lab coats from the laundry. The alarm bells startled them for a moment.
"Time" Bruno said.
Otto just nodded.

Chongo and Groves hung back from the crowd streaming orderly from the building. If anyone was coming in they wanted to catch them. Chongo noticed that one fo the offices they were passing was actually on fire and grabbed an extinguisher. The office must have been a file room because it was burning with a will. Chongo layed too with the extinguisher and managed to put the fires out. The smoke from the fire and the smoke grenades was getting to him. Luckily he was at a lower level than almost everyone else so he had a little more air to breathe. Out of the smoke came a strange shadow looking like a man pushing something in a wheelchair.
"Fire's out in this one boys, but I'm sure there are others that still need attention." Chongo called out.
The figure stopped short and began fiddling with something.
"Hey, I said the fire is out in this one, can't you hear me?
A bright flash and bang in the smoke and the flying plaster hitting him in the cheek from the wall next to him told him all he needed to know. One of the Nazi spies had gotten in and was shooting at him. Chongo knew the pistols they used were semi-automatic, that didn't give him much time. Another shot brushed his right shoulder. Chongo screamed Bundalo! and hurled himself at the attacker with the expended extinguisher in his hands. A third shot ricocheted off the extinguisher as Chongo charged. Chimp, cart and Man collided with bone splitting shock. Chongo batted at where he thought the gun was and was rewarded with a meaty "thump" and clatter as the pistol hit the floor. Chongo had gotten lucky but he didn't know how long that would last. The luck ran out when he felt a knife piercing his side. The smoke had gotten thick enough that his assailant hadn't gotten anythin but his skin and maybe a few nicked organs, but damn did it hurt. Luckily the nazi spies used there knives as eating utensils as well as for fighting so there wasn't likely to be any poison. Chongo brought the extinguisher around at a higher level and felt the impact and the give of the mans head that he'd been trying to hit. The man fell to the floor, the knife spinning across the tiles.
Chongo began draggin him to the exit.

Chongo hadn't been the only one having a fight, although the first man with the extinguisher had managed to bully past him, the second had nearly run him down. Groves was further up the hall from Chongo and actually recognized Otto from the pictures that Laura had provided. He didn't give Otto the time to draw his pistol. Groves shoved the cart hard into Otto knocking him. The extinguisher bottle and cart tilted backwards. Groves grabbed them and gave them a shove toppling them over on Otto. Otto was trapped under their combined weight. The bag containing the bomb spilled out onto the floor. Groves hadn't seen one like it before but he didn't have to be told what it was. Groves gently lifted it out of the bag.
"Are you it or do I have to worry about some other sons a bitches trying to rain on my parade!" he yelled at Otto. Otto just sneared at him.

Chongo started up the corridor dragiing the unconscious nazi behind him. Other fofices might be on fire and although he'd have liked to pitch the guy onto the piles of burning paper the guy might know something usefull that the Groves could use. He heard Groves shouting his name down the corridor.
"I'm here general!" Chongo choked out, "I've got one of them unconscious behind me!"
"I got another back here." Groves said as Chongo emerged from the smoke.
"Did you get the bomb?" Groves asked, showing Chongo the device in his hands.
"Shit!" Chongo yelled and before Groves could stop him he dropped the spy and stampeded back down the corridor. It was almost to dark to see. Chongo tripped over the cart and hurtled into a wall. Rising painfully he felt his way back to the cart and began feeling around for the bag which must be strapped to it. Chongo tore away the bag and headed back in what he hoped was the direction to the exit. General Groves had already made it to the exit and called in three MPs to help with the prisoners while handing the bomb off to a fourth. Fire truck sirens announced the arrival of the local fire department. General Groves waited for what seemed like an eternity and almost turned to leave when Chongo emerged from the smoke.
"Didn't think you were going to make it," he said grabbing the satchel from Chongo and helping him towards the exit.
"If there are anymore we missed this could be a short reunion general." Chongo croaked with a grimace.

Kathryn was running across the yard towards the lab with Ursula not too far behind. Ursula skidded to a halt as Otto was led out between two MPs with Bruno being carried out by another. The plan had failed!
She began yelling obscenities at Otto and Bruno.
"You incompetent fools! Dolts! Imbeciles!" She screamed as she pulled out her own lugar. The first shot missed Otto by a breath and hit the MP on his right side. The other MP forced him onto the ground. The second shot managed to hit Bruno in the chest. From the way he fell there was no doubt that it was a critical hit. Everyone was madly scrambling for their firearms and for cover when a dark shape dropped out of the sky in front of Ursula and caught the third shot in its chest. Kerchak brushed off the rage from the pain and grabbed her pistol hand. Ursula screamed as her fingers broke and twisted along with the metal of the gun.
"Shouldn't play with guns little girl!" Kerchak shouted at her baring his teeth. He then caught Ursula's head in an open fisted round house that sent her cartwheeling across the lawn.

MPs and firefighters were rushing into the building as Kathryn managed to push through the crowd and found the only man in uniform who looked to be of high rank. The general actually flinched when she tapped him on the shoulder. An MP had her by the arm before he could turn around. Groves motioned him off. Sir! Oh thank God! They didn't succeed!" Kathryn panted.
"What do you know of this!" Groves demanded.
"Those two you caught and the other one kidnapped me, I escaped and got here as fast as I could to try to tell someone about it." she replied.
"Tell me if there were any others! I need to know now!"
"There were two others but they didn't want to carry out the plan, they took me with them as insurance and then abandoned me at the train station," she lied through her teeth thinking of Brehmer.
"that's a relief," the general sighed.

Minutes later the fires were extinguished and fans were brought on-line to evacuate the smoke. There was some significant damage to the building on several floors but the lab and its working were all intact. The project would go on.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 13 Feb 04 - 03:00 PM

Prologue:

Though the weather was cold, Chongo with Laura, Drecker, Kerchak accompanied by Maizey and Groves, in civilian attire with Kathryn on his arm attended the funerals of all the primates who had died at the hands of the nazi spies. The wind might have been blamed for the tears on everyones cheeks as they wished farewell to the children for the last time.

Chongo was nursed through his injury by Laura who stayed with him for a few happy weeks until she was called to return to Europe to help out with invasion plans. She said she'd be back but Chongo rather doubted it. It had been fun while it lasted but although times had certainly changed they hadn't changed enough to allow for what he really wanted. At least this time she'd had a photo taken with him so he had something to remember her by.

Kerchak was nursed through his bulet wound by Maizey. Although he really didn't need the tending Kerchak acted the part of the walking wounded and rather enjoyed her tender ministrations. They were married baout a month later with Chongo as the best man, Drecker and Groves in attendance and Kathryn as one of the brides maids. Kathryn and Maizy had struck up a relationship while attending the funerals together. After the wedding Kerchak also had some other news for everyone.
"I've decided that you were right Chongo as much as it pains me to admit it. The time has come for the hate to stop. It nearly cost all of our lives before I figured that out. I was being selfish and taking what I wanted instead of working to even the playing field for everyone. I've been talking with General Groves about what I might be able to do to help bring this war to an end. I can't return to my prior lifestyle knowing that there are thousands of life in the balance. I've asked Maizey and she agrees with me, after our honeymoon I'm going to join the resistance fighters in France. the way the nazis feel about us primates they won't notice that this gorilla is watching everything they do.
Kerchak was as good as his word and would return from France wearing the Croix De Guerre.

On May 7, 1945 the allies secured victory in Europe. At home in the states the friends wept and prayed and celebrated.

On July 16, 1945 the first atomic bomb was tested in an open area of New Mexico under the greatest secrecy and with some success.

On August 6, 1945 the city of Hiroshima experienced the first atomic bomb used in warfare firsthand.

Three days later, because the Japanes Imperial Command could not believe the reports about Hiroshima, the city of Nagasaki felt the fiery wraith of the sleeping giant and the last atomic bomb used in wartime.

On August tenth the Imperial High Command sued for peace.

On VJ Day the friends gathered again to weep and pray, somberly for they knew firsthand what kind of hell had been unleashed on the citizens of Japan.

Kathryn and Maizey kept each other company and talked about the men.
Kathryn even told Maizey the whole truth about Brehmer. Maizey wasn't judgemental, after all, look what her husband had been and he'd be returning home a hero. Kerchak returned and he and Maizey began in earnest the life together that they had temporarily set aside. One day a package from Paraguay arrived for Kathryn with some cash, a picture and a note from Brehmer asking Kathryn to please come to Paraguay. Kerchak and Maizy, now expecting and absolutely glowing, waved to her plane as it flew off into the sunset.

The End

Please keep your eyes peeled for our next Chongo Chimp adventure!
Rapiare, Littlehawk and I have really enjoyed writing this for you. If you enjoyed it, please PM us and let us know what you think.

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 04 - 03:40 PM

(((Cheers and standing ovations, catcals and whistles and whoops and Bravos)))

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: GUEST,Martin Bauer
Date: 13 Feb 04 - 05:18 PM

Message from Paraguay, February 14, 1946:

My dear friends, I have a happy event to report to you. My erstwhile young business partner, Jurgen Brehmer, was married today to his sweetheart Kathryn, a lovely young woman from Chicago, USA. Brehmer had the occasion to meet her quite unexpectedly in late 1942 while he was 'visiting' Chicago, and it appears to have been the hand of destiny that brought them together. They make a lovely couple. I am confident that Kathryn will provide a useful focus for Brehmer's ferocious energy level and succeed in settling him down a bit. One cannot fly commercial aircraft like fighter planes, and Brehmer has definitely needed something lately to occupy his restless mind.

This country has been good to us. The climate is magnificent and the food is very good. You even get used to the ants and scorpions soon enough! Our flying business, B & B airlines (for Brehmer and Bauer), is doing very well indeed, so much so that Brehmer has managed to purchase his dream...a war surplus Lockheed Lightning that apparently served in the Pacific at one time. It's a fine machine, but no damn good for anything except aerobatics and killing people. I hope it does not end up by killing Brehmer, but he assures me that it is a highly reliable aircraft as long as one avoids compressibility effects in a dive, and this one is the later model with the small dive brakes under the wings.

I am becoming quite a hand with aircraft myself. I can now fly them, more importantly land them (the hard part!) and service them...most of this due to Brehmer's patient instructions over the past three years.

Brehmer has been approached and offered a job as a military flying instructor for the Paraguayan Air Force. He was tempted, because they would have him flying the P-51 Mustang, a marvelous airplane by all accounts, and maybe the new jets, but he finally decided he didn't want to get involved with the military again. One ends up having to do things that one would really be better off not doing, and not having a thing to say about it. We have both decided we prefer civilian life. One war was more than enough.

In a year or two we plan to visit the United States, most of which I have not seen. It's an amazingly large and prosperous country, but I don't think people are as relaxed there as they are here in Paraguay.

My own wife, Carmen, is well and happy, and the children are growing by leaps and bounds. I can honestly say that I am among the most fortunate of men. Damned if I know what I did to deserve this, but there you are.

So, we all send you our very best wishes and hope to see you again one of these days soon.

Much love and remembrance,

Martin Bauer
Hernandarias, Paraguay

Subject: RE: BS: My Banana Is Quick: A Chongo Chimp Tale
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 04 - 05:52 PM

Further prologue: Bruno died from his wound, as did the MP that Ursula had shot. Otto offered to work as a counterspy to save his skin, and turned over a good deal of valuable information, while the Americans tried to decide what to do with him. They suspected he had told them some, but not all of what he knew. He was holding out, hoping to still have some bargaining room left to play with.

Ursula remained defiant and uncooperative to the end. Eventually she requested an interview with Otto, hinting that she might be prepared to make a deal of some kind through him. The interview was arranged under the close scrutiny of two armed and vigilant MP's. There was a brief and fruitless discussion, at the conclusion of which Otto threw his hands in the air and said, "Fine! Then I suppose they will just have to execute you."

"I suppose so," replied Ursula sharply. "As they probably will you, Otto, soon enough...when they have all they want from you. This is goodby then. One last kiss for the condemned, Otto?"

He stared at her wordlessly. She stepped forward and put her arms up to embrace him, startling the MP's. One of them stepped forward, saying, "Hey, no touching there..."

"You would deny a last kiss between friends?" said Ursula, darting the man a contemptous look. She lowered her arms and raised her mouth. Otto bent to touch her lips with his own. He was thinking of all the times past, of what could never be again, as she kissed him deeply. She shuddered, stiffened, suddenly clutching at his arm and falling against him. Otto could taste an odd taste in his mouth, something like bitter almonds, and he started to gag. He fought for air, heard the MP's yelling in alarm. He tried to reach a chair, sat down groggilly, lost his balance, and fell writhing to the floor.

The poison capsule Ursula had extracted from under a false crown on one of her rear molars and then bitten down on killed her almost instantly. Otto took about three minutes to die from the smaller dose he got and there was nothing anyone could do for him. The cause that they had served died itself, 2 years later, in the rubble of Hitler's bunker in Berlin.