Worst Song by a Respectable Artist

Subject: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Dan
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 09:35 AM

Some good artists never do bad material, and some prostitute themselves on a regular basis. My vote for the worst all time song by a respectable artist is Willie Nelson's "Last Thing I Needed First Thing This Morning" which starts off with that inimitable line, "Woke up this morning, spilled all the coffee." What's your vote?

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Bert
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 09:43 AM

I've always thought that there was something wrong with that song. When it starts out, it has the potential of a great comic song, then it changes mood and tries to be serious. It just doesn't come off. I agree with you, Willie should have put his foot down and made them get it right before singing it.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Ferrara
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 10:09 AM

Well --- There are inadvertent worst songs and then there are deliberate worst songs. Helen Schneyer has the set of Victorian songs she calls her "Hideobilia," and then there's Allan Dameron, who tops off his collection of purely rotten songs with "Fort Worth," which has the rousing chorus, "On the muscle of my arm there's a red and blue tattoo / saying, Fort Worth, I love you!" I truly think that hollering this thing out in the audience at Kerrville has been one of the musical highlights of my life. - Rita F

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Mudjack
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 12:46 PM

You said respectable, Willie hardly fits that image. Oh! as a writer, OK Willie has written some great songs but frankly has covered much better ones than he's ever written.(thats 2 cents worth of opinion.)
My wife is (was) a Neil Diamond fan until he did his Nashville crap that trashed his reputation among the baby boomers.In our house he gets the sour grapes award.
I think all song writers get their share of duds, which is why the studio producers want their artist to toe the line and put out only the marketable stuff. Give me the singer/songwriter good or bad, at least it's honest bad and a pure form of expression.
A good subject for a thread......
Mudjack

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 02:38 PM

There's that one Neil Diamond did where he talks to an empty room and seems miffed the furniture doesn't talk back.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: lesblank
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 04:36 PM

It is painfully obvious that none of the above thread composers are from Texas -- Thank Heavens !!

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: DougR
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 05:46 PM

I would say you are probably right, Les. Sign me, ex-Texan. By the way, are you the filmmaker, lesblank?

DougR

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Captain Swing
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 07:30 PM

'Sailing' - Rod Stewart (Respectable artist? When he was with the Faces maybe)

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Shack
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 07:34 PM

"She Wears Red Dresses" by Dwight Yoakum, is horrible.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Chet W.
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 07:38 PM

I guess this is sort of related. I've always regretted when I heard a recording by one of my favorite performers, whose stage show is a work of art every time, but then they go into the studio and hire a batallion of side musicians so that they don't sound anything like themselves. This has been true of some of my most admired performers. And in most cases, it's not like they had a snowball's chance of having a chart hit anyway, so why screw up something wonderful, or at least the part of it that we get to take home?

Don't want to call any names, Chet W.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: lesblank
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 09:45 PM

To DougR :

I have been accused many a time, especially when on business trips to San Francisco (when I worked for a living !!), of being him , or at least, being mistaken for him. We are close to the same age, and a whisp of a resemblance is there, but he has more talent in his little finger than I do in my entire right hand !! Intrigued by the confusion, (hotel personnel were especially prone), I once attended a lecture he gave at a small film festival in Tiburon, Calif. on the making of short films with a message. He was very impressive, so much so that I got cold feet and did not go up to him at the reception, fearing total collapse! Now all is do is pluck a few songs now and then, correspond with Gene (oldtimer) and see Allen Damron perform at least 25 times per year.!! Eat your heart out, Ferrara !!

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: John Hindsill
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 10:19 PM

"Granada" a jazzed-up version by Ol' Blue Eyes, hot on the heels of a really great stentorian rendition by Frankie Laine. Sinatra's version was neither good jazz, nor good vocally or orchestrally. - John

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Jeremiah McCaw
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 10:55 PM

Heard a "new country" song a few years ago called "Please Don't Take the Girl". Several verses of the "goin' fishing, little girl next door wants to go too, kid begs Dad -insert title here" variety. End of the song, of course the kid's married the girl, his true love, and they get mugged or something and he begs the bad guys - insert title again. Piece of trite, cynical, manipulative, maudlin, formula-written CRAP!

Thanks a lot for reminding me of it! Phooey!

:-)

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: emily rain
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 12:28 AM

i nominate bob dylan's "lay lady lay" bleah!

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Bert
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 09:45 AM

lesblank, I envy you getting to see Allen Damron so much but I don't think he belongs on THIS THREAD>

Bert.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: lesblank
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 10:01 AM

My point EXACTLY !! Allen is a real true Texas legend and I've followed him for years. Nothing beats the feeling you get when you see him in an old club or coffeehouse with one song to go before he ends his last set and you wind up with 10-15 people left and then listen for an hour more !! He is also doing well healthwise these days ! He has a web site - don't have it handy, and don't know how to use blue clicky things, If interested, let me know. [e-mail]

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Peter T.
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 10:30 AM

Sinatra's Duets were an utter travesty of a range of beautiful songs, and in part the travesty was created by him! It was like watching Rembrandt repaint his earlier works with crayon. That it should have sold a zillion copies reminds us that we are in a world where Adam Sandler and Austin Powers are comic giants.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: LEJ
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 03:53 PM

Eric Clapton doing " If I could Change the World." He has always had lounge lizard over-tones, especially in his singing, but he really crossed the line with that one. Lou Reed doing "I'm just a Gift to the Women of this World." Pete Seeger with "Ticky Tacky."

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Bert
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 03:59 PM

By "Ticky Tacky", do you mean "Little Boxes" by Malvina Reynolds?
If so I think it's a great song, but I can imagine Pete Seeger murdering it. He can get WAY TOO SERIOUS at times.

One time I saw one of his TV shows where he brought a big log onstage and tried to hammer and sing at the same time. It was pitiful.

Bert.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Marion
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 04:06 PM

I nominate "What Are You At?" by Great Big Sea. I love those boys, but I really have to fast forward through that one.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Captain Swing
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 04:12 PM

Don't forget "Don't Pass Me By" and "Revolution Number 9" on the Beatles' White Album.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: John Hindsill
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 05:01 PM

Peter T. - I agree with you about Sinatra's duets, but strictly speaking I do not consider them true duets since the singers never were in any kind of proximity...actually did not really sing together! Also, Frank was really old so I forgive him his shortcomings on those albums.--John

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Joe Offer
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 06:09 PM

In 1995, the usually-terrific John McCutcheon did an awful album called Between the Eclipse, featuring a tacky electronic accompaniment. I'm glad he went back to acoustic. Some of the songs on the album were pretty good when he performed them live, without the electronic stuff. Why use electronic instruments when you can play the hammer dulcimer?
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 07:28 PM

I guess to make this count, I have to pick an artist I truly admire, so I'd have to say that some (not all) of the very political stuff that Ewan MacColl wrote and sang during the Vietnam war qualified. And many years back in his Famous song "Manchester Rambler", he outdid himself with "married a maid, a spot welder by trade". Not to mention rhyming "grouse", with "louse". This was NOT a man who would have married a factory girl. (though according to his autobiography he slept with a ton of them) Actresses, and the delectable (and politically important) Peggy Seeger were more his style.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: dixie
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 07:46 PM

"Look at them Beans" by Johnny Cash, is insulting.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: DougR
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 08:20 PM

"To All the Girls I've Loved Before," by Willy and Julio gets my vote.

DougR

Note to Les Blanc: I'm a Texan transplanted to Arizona and I don't recognize the name of the artist you referred to in your earlier message (Allen Damron). Does he do the Texas Honky Tonks, or are there any of them left?

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: lesblank
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 08:47 PM

To DougR:

Yes Allen does play some honkytonks, but most of his stuff is better suited to smaller venues, in my opinion. Not that he can't play to crowds -- He brings down Kerrville every year and has been doing it for 30 years !! Try the following :

www.fmp.com/damron/index.html

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Barbara
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 09:00 PM

Well, if we're going to do this, I might as well weigh in with the one that really POed me. I'm a long time Bok/ Trickett/ Muir fan, and I really hated "Sunday Morning" sung by Anne on I forget which album.
Actually had to tape the album sans that song so I could listen to it in peace. Right up there with Scarlet Ribbons for sappy, and without any of its redeeming graces.
Now I don't mind songs about religion and kids, but something about that one really annoyed me.
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: DonMeixner
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 11:25 PM

Ain't it amazing what other people hate that I like.

Rick, I like the Manchester Rambler, every single word of it!!! Barbara, I like Sunday Morning but not particularly by Anne Mayo Muir. When Paul Stookey sings it it has a conversational quality that no one else gives it.

I don't like Tom Paxton's Ironman but thats a matter of taste. Its not a dreadful song. St. Stan of Rogers could have picked any song but the one that ends ".... because he kneads the dough". I love puns but that one was too much hard work.

Don

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Peter T.
Date: 03 Jul 99 - 01:31 PM

Bad Beatles Songs! "Don't Pass Me By" and "Revolution No. 9" pretty crummy, you bet!: White Album dreck like "Savoy Truffle", "Julia". Most of "Let It Be" is 3rd rate. Does anybody else really hate "Across the Universe"?John Lennon at his most 'poetic'. Makes you want to find an alternative universe immediately.
I must also be the only person in the world who hates "Imagine" -- whiny voice, downlifting lyrics.
And then there are all those 70's post-Beatles albums by everyone, 99% of which were hideous wastes of long-suffering vinyl. Can any bunch of people so talented have produced such piles of self-indulgent dreck, ever ? Frank Sinatra did it on his own, as did Elvis, but!
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 03 Jul 99 - 05:07 PM

Peter T. You're NOT the only Lennon McCartney fan to suspect that "Imagine" is weak. I was just waiting for someone else to come along and say it first!
Rick

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: WyoWoman
Date: 03 Jul 99 - 06:39 PM

How about that bizarre "First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin..." song by Leonard Cohen on Jennifer Warnes' "Famous Blue Raincoat" album? IT's one of those songs that sounds like it ought to be deeply meaningful, but if you really listen to it, it's basically horses**t.

And from the "Worst Contribution to an Excellent Compilation Album" would have to be that execreble Tom Jones thing on the "Long Black Veil" tape. I just keep imagining women tossing panties up onstage -- some things have no place on a folk-ish album!

(Ok, ok. Maybe I"m missing something. Maybe I'm really jealous and I simply don't understand the impulse to toss one's undies at strangers, no matter how much you like their songs. But maybe if, someday, I'm up onstage singing and flurries of jockey shorts start hitting the stage, I'll understand the mystery.)

KC

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: annamill
Date: 03 Jul 99 - 06:47 PM

KC, We may be talking about two different albums, but wasn't it Mick Jagger? Are you talking abot The Chieftain's album with Van Morrison, Sinad O'Conner, Mick Jagger and a host of others doing Irish music? It was called The Long Black Veil.

I kinda liked it..

But I'm not an expert on Irish folk songs.

annap

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: kayti (inactive)
Date: 03 Jul 99 - 08:12 PM

I'm with Emily Rain on this one.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: WyoWoman
Date: 04 Jul 99 - 12:51 AM

Annap-- Yes, the name of the collection was "Long Black Veil," and Mick Jagger sang the title cut, which was great. However, Tom Jones sang another cut on it -- I'll have to go out to my truck and dig up my tape, but as soon as I say the name,you'll say, "Ohhhh, yes. Ick. I remember..." I very much like the collection, but that one song is just alarmingly out of place...

kc

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: WyoWoman
Date: 04 Jul 99 - 01:01 AM

I found out! I went on Amazon.com and looked it up: "The Tennessee Waltz," sung by Tom Jones in his best lounge lizard smarminess on this lovely CD with the likes of Mick Jagger, Sinead O'Connor and Van Morrison. What were those wacky Cheftains thinkin'?

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Peter T.
Date: 04 Jul 99 - 10:21 AM

Gee, KC, Leonard Cohen did so many bad songs, that I am surprised to see this one top your list!!I think "We Take Manhattan" is one of Leonard Cohen's few songs that sounds deep and may actually be not completely shallow (as opposed to all the dreary ones that paste religious imagery and romantic imagery together as if this was something St. Teresa didn't do first and better). Don't you like "They sentenced me to 20 years of boredom, for trying to change the system from within?" I admit the sister lines are a bit weak. But the neo-fascism of contemporary Manhattan and Berlin...lines moving through the station taking people where exactly? (O.K., O.K. so it isn't The Wasteland, but it has a nice beat and you can dance to it. I give it a 9, Dick).
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: WyoWoman
Date: 04 Jul 99 - 04:59 PM

Well, you've got me there, Peter. That is my favorite line from that song. It's how I feel about the passing of the Sixties, sho nuff. But the "fashion business" and "sister" stuff just makes me scratch my head.I do like the imagery of the lines of combatants of some sort lined up in the stations. I suppose this means you don't like "Song of Bernadette," which is one I actually sing from time to time...

KC

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Peter T.
Date: 04 Jul 99 - 07:10 PM

KC, in case you hadn't noticed, I go rhetorically overboard every once in a teeny while. I think Song of Bernadette is a great song (especially JWarnes' version: great version of "Ain't No Cure for Love" too. Judy Collins' "Bird on a Wire" is far superior to JW's). I do get tired of all the Joan of Arc stuff, though.
yours, Peter T.
P.S. I connected the fashion business references to overthin models looking like concentration camp survivors. Though if I think of it that way, it is basically tasteless.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From:
Date: 04 Jul 99 - 07:20 PM

Was it Bing Crosby or Frank Sinatra who did that appalling version of "Hey Jude"?

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: DonMeixner
Date: 04 Jul 99 - 10:06 PM

No That was Paul McCartney

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 05 Jul 99 - 02:06 AM

Don Meixner. 10 points plus a roll on the old snare drum.

Peter T. KC. No, No, No! "First We Take Manhattan" is a satire! It's comedy (and good comedy, in my occasionally humble opinion) from beginning to end. If I could produce Leonard Cohen right now (the way Woody Allen produced McLuhan in "Annie Hall") he'd tell you. I know he would!

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Peter T.
Date: 05 Jul 99 - 10:11 AM

"I've had nails in my hands, baby, and thorns on my face,
It's two A.M. and there's no one in the place
If your life is a leaf, or a bug or a tree,
slit your wrist with my mythology.
It's only the universe unfolding,
like a Swiss Army knife,
and the face in the mirror beholding
Is my first or second wife.
I can't remember which,
But my songs are half-baked,
and half not;
And I play where I ached
, and now I Zen where I thought.
It's my new bag:
Post Performance Drag!!!
Sincerely, L. Cohen (Sensei)

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: WyoWoman
Date: 06 Jul 99 - 12:59 AM

Has anyone heard of some dreadful compilation albums called "Golden Throats," or maybe "Golden Voices," featuring famous artists and actors allegedly "singing" various songs. Such as William Shatner doing a deeply awful and massively dramatic version of "Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man?" You have to imagine that those people hear these recordings now and wish they'd paid someone to burn the masters... And, Rick, how did you arrive at your assessment of "First We Take Manhattan?" I"m not saying I disagree, I"m just saying I wonder how you decide if someone's being intentionally goofy and mock-deep, or if they're being utterly pretentious and only sounding deep and meaningful.

KC

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 28 Mar 01 - 04:28 PM

For William Shatner doing Mr. Tambourine Man and Bing Crosby doing Hey Jude, Sebastian Cabot Doing Dylan, Yoko Ono doing Yoko Ono, Pat Boone doing Heavy Metal (the whole CD), Joel Grey doing White Room and much much more completely horrible stuff, go to the Rock & Roll Hall of Shame thread that I started yesterday, there is a link to all of this stuff. 'Spaw says he's bookmarked the site to entertain his friends. (Sorry, I can't Blueclickything)

And Peter T. I thought I just didn't get Leonard Cohen's stuff. I'm glad to hear your opinion.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 28 Mar 01 - 05:03 PM

Outdid himself with "married a maid, a spot welder by trade". Not to mention rhyming "grouse", with "louse". This was NOT a man who would have married a factory girl.

Not with you there on either point, Rick. For one thing the bloke in the song is the bloke in the song, not Ewan McColl. For another if you read the words again, the whole point is he doesn't marry her, he sneaks off and has a ramble instead. (And female spot-welders played a significant role making Spitfires and such in what we still call the last war over here, though it wasn't. Not obnly here either - ever see Rosie the Rivetter?)

But as for the line: He called me a louse and said "think of the grouse" - nothing wrong with that, far as I can see, it's a jokey sneer at the posh sod who thinks he owns the mountain, and the incongruity of the two words is part of it. (Or is it that in Toronto there'd something wrong with the rhyme as such, like you pronounce the words differently or something?)

Oh yeah, a nomination. Chuck Berry, My Dingaling.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Mr Red
Date: 28 Mar 01 - 05:17 PM

Rod Stewart trying to do Wild Mountain Thyme.
There is something almost acceptable about an amatuer having a go but sorry folks its not his kinda song.
Lets face it as a folkie he's an amatuer.

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 28 Mar 01 - 05:51 PM

Bert's right: Pete Seeger gets WAY too earnest sometimes.

My nomination for worst song by a respectable singer (in this case St. Pete) is If I had a Golden Thread. He's trying SO hard to be high-minded and meaningful, he ends up being dull, dull, dull, without a song worth singing.

Despite his sainted status, Pete sold his birthright for a pot of message!

DAve Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: harpmolly
Date: 28 Mar 01 - 06:06 PM

Although it kills me to say this (I adore Leonard Cohen), the above parody is hilarious. There. I said it. Don't expect me to say it again. ;)

I also agree wholeheartedly about Tom Jones' "Tennessee Waltz". That album had several great songs on it, but that wasn't one of them. Ick.

(Reminds me of the hilarious scene in "Little Voice"...the one where LV is upstairs rapturously listening to Judy G, and her mother is downstairs snogging with Michael Caine and decides to drown her out with Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual". Those are two performers that should NEVER be mixed. Eurrgh.

Luckily, the fuse then blows, giving LV a chance to show her stuff. God, I love that movie. :D

M

Subject: RE: Worst Song by a Respectable Artist
From: Justa Picker
Date: 28 Mar 01 - 06:08 PM

On The Road Again - Willie Nelson
Every Breath You Take - Sting
Philadelphia - Bruce Springsteen
Candyman - Sammy Davis Jr.
Ceilia - Paul Simon
Nothing Compares To You - (Prince, for) Sinead
Stand By Your Man - Lyle Lovett (version)

...and anything performed by Kate Moss or Rickie Lee Jones.