worst songs from musicals

Subject: worst songs from musicals
From: celticblues5
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 01:09 PM

Well, now that we've gone over our faves, what about the WORST songs from musicals? Yup, there've been plenty...

for example there is the silly and mealy-mouthed category -

from "110 in the Shade" (and how a duo who did the "Fantastiks" & "Celebration" could come up with this clunker still amazes me) -
"fix a basket of food for the hungry men
find a place in the shade for the hungry men
"
from "Carousel" -
"when you walk through a storm, keep your head up high
and don't be afraid of the dark
at the end of the storm is a golden sky
and the sweet silver song of a lark"

or the simply horrid -

from "Carousel" -
"it was a real nice clambake
we're mighty glad we came
th' vittles we et were good, you bet
the company was the same"

oy, what dreck!


OK - let's see some more awful lyrics! What are your personal most-hated songs? ;-)

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Bernard
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 01:14 PM

'You'll Never Walk Alone' - I have to agree with that one!

Especially as it was adopted as a soccer anthem, and sung so often, so badly...

Now the words have been altered to 'You'll Never Walk - Again!'.

And what about the 'Sound of Music' - 'The Lonely Goat's Turd', and other gems?

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: celticblues5
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 01:16 PM

Oops - a line got left out -

the You'll Never Walk Alone category was supposed to be the "smarmy & maudlin" category ;-)

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Bernard
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 01:18 PM

Weren't they Rodgers & Hammersteins solicitors?

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: P05139
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 01:25 PM

I don't like "On My Own" or "Bring Him Home" from Les Mis because they were the ones that drove me out of choir at school (I kept on crying instead of singing!)

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Mbo
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 01:46 PM

Awww FC, those are my favorite from Les Mis! :( Absolutely GORGEOUS songs, but not the one that makes me cry. It's at the very end where they say "And now here the truth that once was spoken, to love another person is to see the face of God". I always lose it right about there...

As for bad songs from musicals, I don't really know any! Not sure if I should come back to this thread...I'm getting tired of all this negative "Worst" this and "I hate" that.

--M

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: P05139
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 01:48 PM

Sorry Mbo!

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: celticblues5
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 02:03 PM

yup, Bernard, "Smarmy, Maudlin, Spazzy, & Zeppo," I believe.

c'mon, Mbo - this is a FUN category! We're not sitting here in gloom & depression - it's like movies that are so bad you have to howl with delight at the awfulness of them!
and, btw, I LOVE "On My Own!"

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Mbo
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 02:16 PM

So do I! Am I one of the few guys to change the words so if fits a male perspective? E.g. "On my own, pretending SHE'S beside me"? Back to the original question, I swear I can't honestly think of anything I hate...

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: celticblues5
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 02:27 PM

I think a lot of us change the gender to suit the singer. Even though, traditionally, the gender of the singer is not supposed to matter, the singer being a vehicle & not necessarily telling a first-person story, a lot of audience members don't understand that. Particularly in today's gender-polarized & often homophobic situations.

Sometimes it's pretty difficult - there are a number of songs using gender-specific words that don't have an easy-to-rhyme alternative. For example, "man" can usually be bent into "woman" despite the extra beat it inserts, but if the lyrics do something like rhyme "girl" with "whirl" or "world" it's more difficult to alter the words.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 03:43 PM

The absolute worst was the prom scene from the musical "Carrie"

"Pig, pig, pig
Blood, blood, blood"

One reviewer stated that he expected to see a chorus line of Nazi women in black leather and high heel boots singing "Springtime for Hitler" What were they thinking? It closed in previews.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: celticblues5
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 03:53 PM

Sinsull, that is sooooo funny! See, Mbo, surely you're not going to defend that one! ;-)

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Mbo
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 04:14 PM

Kinda hard when I've never even heard of it!

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 04:23 PM

I gotta agree above... Carousel, the whole thing is hopless dreck... with the message that spouse abuse is o.k. provided you do it with love, I'm surprised that any theatre company does it anymore... I had to work followspot on it in University because I refused to be cast in it!

Sweeny Todd is still the only musical for me... Everything in minor keys and dissonent!!

{~`

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: WyoWoman
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 07:59 PM

Ooh, I love Sweeney Todd as well. I'd love to sing in that one, only absolutely no one is brave enough to attempt it -- and probably shouldn't -- in non-professional theaters.

As a native Oklahoman, I've mostly disliked just about everything about that musical, since it has nothing to do with anything I grew up with and makes us all look like a bnnch of hayseeds. Yee-haw ... The title song might be the exception, but as you might imagine, I heard it a good bit growing up.

ww

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: celticblues5
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 08:10 PM

Well, Wyo, we all have our crosses to bear. At least "Oklahoma!" is a better song than the one we had growing up in Iowa - "that's where the tall corn grows!" is a sample of the lyrics.:-) And, of course, when you tell anyone, anywhere where you're from, you hear, "Oh, that's where they have corn & pigs, right?"

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: GUEST, Banjo Johnny
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 10:07 PM

"Indian Love Call" made infamous by Nelson Eddy and Jeanette Macdonald.

"When I'm calling you, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oooo ..."

Johnny in OKC

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 10:19 PM

Clinton,
We thought you knew. It doesn't hurt when someone loves you and hits you. Makes me want to smack that smarmy smile off her face everytime.
Mbo, "Carrie" was attempted in the mid-80s. It featured a lasar light show and there in was the rub. They could never get it to synchronize with the music. Believe it or not, the The Royal Shakespearean Society was behind the whole mess. They needed money and would do almost anything for it at the time. I will have to dredge up some more on this for you.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: DonMeixner
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 10:28 PM

Everything from "Southern Pathetic" most of "Oklahoma" and "Carousel"

Don

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: WyoWoman
Date: 13 Aug 00 - 10:32 PM

Of course in Sweeney Todd, we're talking human mincemeat ...

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 01:13 AM

Anything from Cats!. I must be a dog person.Seemed like one lame song after another,except for Midnight,which was ok.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Mickey191
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 01:52 AM

Anyone remember "Milk & Honey"? NO? Good! The worst musical I ever saw on Broadway. Pure unadulterated crap.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: alison
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 02:10 AM

The worst songs usually become laughable to me because of the terrible rhyme of the lyrics...
"Neenya", from "the Pirate" with Gene Kelly

I think it was meant to be Nina a girls name but they pronounced it to rhyme with weird things

Neenya, Neenya Neenya Neenya
you give me schizophrenia /paraesthenia etc.....

Howard Keel did one in another musical

"If Scherazadee knew how to move her body (pronounced "baddy")

aargh

another one from the pirate, this time Judy Garland sang

from Guadelupe to Barbados,
Tornadoes,
give in to his desperadoes"

I hated Cats, there are two good songs "Memory" & "Macavity", the rest was instantly forgettable, (good costumes and dancing though.)

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: GUEST,shanti
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 10:04 AM

Well, you'll have to talk to T.S. Eliot about the lyrics of songs in CATS...except for "Memory", they're all from his book OLD POSSUM'S BOOK OF PRACTICAL CATS.

Alan Lerner, who did the lyrics for many terrific musicals, said that his LEAST favorite lyrics (his own) were those to"I Could Have Danced All Night."

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: P05139
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 10:33 AM

Lonesome EJ, by Midnight, do you mean Memory? If you do, you probably got confused becuse the first line is "Midnight, Not a sound fromthe pavement."!

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 11:11 AM

Do I detect a mutual dislike of musicals? With the exception of Mbo. of course. I hate them. There is no middle ground - I hate them. Glad that's out in the light. I can move on now.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Kim C
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 11:23 AM

I once saw Starlight Express and thought it was the silliest thing I had ever seen in my life.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 11:44 AM

How about "Poor Jud is daid" from Oklahoma. YYEEECHHHH. I think they should have buried Jud before they wrote the song.

Sailor DAn

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Mbo
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 11:54 AM

Starlight Express kicks ASS! Rolling stock! Rooolling Stock! Huh! Huh! Yes I really like musical, but only ones from the late 60's onward. I'm not into Rogers & Hammerstein or Lerner & Lowe that much at all. And Cats rules!

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: WyoWoman
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 12:31 PM

I don't hate 'em, but many are deeply silly. In fact, I want to write one but am not a songwriter. (I know, it'll be a hard sell ...) I AM a writer, however, and if I could find a wonderful songwriter with a feel for country/bluegrassy/folkie music ...

(All applicants, please send PM to me at this website)

I liked "Quilters." anyone see that?

ww

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Pseudolus
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 12:41 PM

Poor Judd is Daid is meant to be funny but with the wrong two actors it is pretty stupid. I think "Happy Talk" and Carefully Taught" from South Pacific are pretty lame too. I happen to love musicals with "A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum" being my favorite, but I've mentioned that before. But I think I have the all time "Why the hell did they write that song?" nomination. It's from big River, a show with some wonderful music by Roger Miller. I love the show, but why did he write "Arkansas".

Here's a sample...

Arkansas, Arkansas, I just love old Arkansas, Love My Maw, Love my Paw, But I just love old Arkansas.....

This is great, I've been away for a week on one of the best vacations of my life, and I come back and there is yet another theater thread! Ya gotta love it....

Frank

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Naemanson
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 12:46 PM

I am proud to see that none, and I mean none, of the musicals in which I have performed are listed above.

Cinton and Wyo Woman - I have to join the ranks of those who loved Sweeney Todd. I am campaigning to have it done at the Chocolate Church but it won't be this next Spring. That musical is already in planning.

I will wait to see if our next musical gets listed after this post. No, I will not reveal the name. In a few days or weeks I'll refresh this thread and let you know which one you missed.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Whistle Stop
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 01:05 PM

I'm no expert -- I think most musicals are pretty awful, so I avoid them. Have to agree with those who pointed the finger at "South Pacific," which epitomizes everything bad about musicals. Same for "Annie Get Your Gun (or anything else that features Ethel Merman). And "The Sound Of Music" is so saccharinze sweet that it turns my stomach. But it's hard to pick the worst, particularly when you include all those Elvis movies.

I liked "West Side Story" and "the Wizard of Oz," and felt that some others had some redeeming value ("The King And I," "My Fair Lady," "An American In Paris," "Mary Poppins"). But I can't say they're my favorite art form.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: DougR
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 01:36 PM

I'm not a fan of any musical, but I think the most insipid lyrics I have heard in one was for a TV musical of (I believe) "Cinderella" by R & H. "Do I love you because you're beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you?" Arghhhhh! DougR

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Bernard
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 02:10 PM

Aaaaaargh! It's just hit me!

'I Was Born Under a Wand'ring Star' from 'Plant your Woggle' (erm, or was it 'Paint your Wagon'?! Who cares?!).

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: P05139
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 02:16 PM

SINSULL, I happen to LOVE musicals, apart from Les Mis cos of the songs that kicked me out of choir!

Come to think of it, I'm not TOO keen on "Joseph" either.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Shanti
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 08:52 PM

Wandrin' Star isn't a bad song...just made really awful by having non-singers in that musical. Nothing was sung right. i can't think of any songs in musicals I like that are really terrible...can't separate the songs from the context. Another of my favorites is 1776. Saw the original, the movie and the recent revival. The lyrics are wonderful, and there's one song about the triangle trade, called MOLASSES TO RUM TO SLAVES...incredible, particularly if it's sung by the right voice. My LEAST favorite musical of all time is SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE! BORING!!!!

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: WyoWoman
Date: 14 Aug 00 - 11:21 PM

I liked "Wanderin' Star..." I even liked Lee Marvin doing it. but then, I was young and impressionable.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Aug 00 - 03:03 AM

Since my all time favorite musical may be "Guys & Dolls", I have to say "Marry the Man" is the worst song ever. It takes all the fun out of the whole story. Why marry a habitual gambler/lothario?

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: GUEST,Colwyn Dane
Date: 15 Aug 00 - 01:31 PM

G'day,

Seeing the line from Banjo Johnny of "When I'm calling you, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oooo ..."
recalls to mind the story of Oscar Hammerstein auditioning for the London production(1924-5) and how one young hopeful,
for the title role of Rose-Marie, was heard to sing the above line as:

"When I'm calling you, double-oh, double-oh,double-oh..."

And the report of Ira Gerswin, again a London audition; heard one young lady hopeful,
sing the opening of "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off"
which is normally sung as follows:-

You say eether and I say eyether,
You say neether and I say nyther;
Eether, eyether, neether, nyther -
Let's call the whole thing off!

as

You say eyether and I say eyether,
You say nyther and I say nyther;
eyether,eyether, nyther, nyther -
Let's call the whole thing off!

Toodle-pip.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: celticblues5
Date: 15 Aug 00 - 03:57 PM

Sinsull -

No, I love musicals - just not INDISCRIMINATELY!

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Aug 00 - 04:06 PM

Great! I am "Persona Non Grata" at Mudcat because I hate musicals. Not fair guys! This is a blues/folk site. I love opera - does that help?

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: IvanB
Date: 15 Aug 00 - 04:55 PM

WyoWoman, I was traveling to Bismarck, ND for a conference in 1989 when I stopped in Valley City overnight. After dinner, I strolled to the city park, where a dress rehearsal was going on for Quilters. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to see it all, but I liked what I saw. Then, in the summer of 1999, I finely got to see it all the way through at Michigan State University. Wonderful! But I'd probably call it a play with music rather than a musical.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 15 Aug 00 - 10:22 PM

Sorry SINSULL,you have to be into showtunes. Also quiche,Barbara Streisand,iced chai and making your living room decor simply come alive.Now get that crude banjo off of the harpsichord cabinet before you scratch it,you big silly.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: WyoWoman
Date: 15 Aug 00 - 10:48 PM

Oh, LEJ, you meanie. I'm going to have to pop you with my Martha Stewart tea towel.

Yes, Ivan B., I would agree with that assessment. Do you (or does anyone else) have any idea where one gets videotapes of productions such as that? I would love to see a good production of that one again and pass it along to a friend, and I also remember seeing "Sweeney Todd" on video once and would enjoy a reprise.

Anyone? anyone?

WyoWoman

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: WyoWoman
Date: 15 Aug 00 - 10:51 PM

Oh, LEJ, you meanie. I'm going to have to pop you with my Martha Stewart tea towel.

Yes, Ivan B., I would agree with that assessment. Do you (or does anyone else) have any idea where one gets videotapes of productions such as that? I would love to see a good production of that one again and pass it along to a friend, and I also remember seeing "Sweeney Todd" on video once and would enjoy a reprise.

Anyone? anyone?

WyoWoman

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: WyoWoman
Date: 15 Aug 00 - 10:53 PM

Oh, LEJ, you meanie. I'm going to have to pop you with my Martha Stewart tea towel.

Yes, Ivan B., I would agree with that assessment. Do you (or does anyone else) have any idea where one gets videotapes of productions such as that? I would love to see a good production of that one again and pass it along to a friend, and I also remember seeing "Sweeney Todd" on video once and would enjoy a reprise.

Anyone? anyone?

WyoWoman

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: WyoWoman
Date: 15 Aug 00 - 10:57 PM

Ok, well, obviously I'm enjoying the idea of popping LEJ with that embroidered towel...

That's the first time I've had multiple postings. I kept getting the little hourglass thingie and thought nothing was happening.

sorry

ww

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: GUEST,Abu-Dhabi-Doodah
Date: 15 Aug 00 - 11:05 PM

"Girls, Girls, Girls" –– should've been renamed "Drool, Drool, Drool", but the worst clunker in the slop-bucket was the song "Ladies-in-Waiting." Gag.

Subject: RE: worst songs from musicals
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Aug 00 - 11:37 PM

I just posted to the "Show Tunes" thread and its nice to arrive here among the cretins.

I hate musicals. As I said there, 98% are just appaling and the 2% I like have no reason for my liking them.....and I'm proud to be in the company of those who like "Sweeney." I had the tape with Lansbury and Hearn and literally wore it out watching the damn thing!! I also like "Little Shop of Horrors" but I think mainly I'm in love with Ellen Greene and that accent combined with incredible voice control.

I have been almost ejected from "Phantom" for being obnoxious and making loud jokes over the contrived lyrics and tunes. ALW can simply kiss my ass. The only classic that I really enjoy is "Music Man" and again, I have no idea why. The main benefit I see in musicals is they give me songs to parody, as Leej knows............

OOOOOOOOOKlahoma, where the broads come running cross the plains
And their big bazooms are like balloons
And they all wear t-Shirts in the rain.
OOOOOOOOOOOKlahoma where my dar-ar-arlin you and I
Can steal your Daddy's truck, go out and throw a fuck
And then to your Mother we will lie.

.......there is of course more..........

Spaw