Mad Magazine parodies

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: clueless don
Date: 23 Nov 15 - 09:06 AM

"My Fair Ad-Man"
"Star Blecch"

and on. and on.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Montreal88
Date: 22 Nov 15 - 11:12 PM

(Tune of "Stranger in Paradise")

Let's play cards
I'm no good with a pair o' dice.

There was another song to the tune of "Isle of Capri" with a line:
I found her there
On a pile of debris.

Remember the "Mad Beastlies"? One had a drawing of two native Indians with brooms on top of a huge 2-headed man. The quote read: "Braves Sweep Giant Doubleheader".

Movie and TV parodies I remember:
"201 Minutes of a Space Idiocy"
"The Man from A.U.N.T.I.E."
"Voyage to See What's On the Bottom" (Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea)
"Loused Up in Space" (Lost in Space)
I think there was also "The Sound of Money".

And my all-time favorite parody of pro sports:
"43-man Squamish"

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Ebor Fiddler
Date: 20 Nov 15 - 08:42 AM

I remember fondly the non-parody of The Wreck of the Hesperus, with fiendishly comical illustrations, such as "billows NOT pillows!" The rest is best left to the imagination.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: clueless don
Date: 19 Nov 15 - 08:38 AM

I've lost track of whether this has been mentioned before, but Mad did a take-off on West Side Story, called "East Side Story" - it was about the United Nations (whose headquarters are on New York's East side?)

One song (to the tune of "There's a Place for Us") was sung by Chairman Mao, asking to be admitted to the UN. One verse went something like

Please be sweet to us
and give a seat to us.
Let us in and such joy you'll get
like we gave
Tibet.

Don

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Nov 15 - 06:13 PM

I remember some of these!


"Oh What a Beautiful Morning" must have been popular for parodies, because I recall the DENTIST'S LOVE SONG or some such title:

There's a bright golden cap on your cuspid
There's a bright golden cap on your cuspid
The gold glitters down from the bridgework above
One filling is loose and I'm falling in love

Oh What a Terrible MO-LAR
See how the cavity's grown
I'll put my heart in my drilling
If you will call me your own

You can tell that the novocaine's working
You can tell that the novocaine's working
Your feeling is gone from your chin to your ear
Your tongue's getting numb and I worship you dear

Oh What a Glorious FEE-LING
And though my love you now spurn
Darling your heart I'll be winning
When in six months you return

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,rll_sb
Date: 18 Nov 15 - 02:11 PM

A little nest that nestled where the H bombs boom

You'll see a smiling face without a trace of coming doom.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 25 Sep 15 - 01:21 PM

Back to West Side Story... MAD did indeed do a parody on it. I can only remember a few lines sung to the tune "Maria" titled "Amoeba"
Amoeba...I just met a blob named Amoeba,
----
Chorus: Amoeba..how your two cells do split into four cells.
       And those four cells will split into more cells.
       Amoeba,...I just met a blob named Amoeba.
On a side note, Mad did a version sung to the tune of Bridge over the River Kwai called Comet.
   Comet..It makes your mouth turn green. Comet..It tastes like   
    kerosene. Comet, It makes you vomit...so eat some Comet, and
      vomit, today.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 10:48 PM

In the dark they're aglowing,
It's another way of knowing,
That I'm nothing but a square.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Bill
Date: 07 Sep 15 - 01:47 PM

Adding to the "No Monsters Like Pro Monsters," I seem to recall a lyric that went something like:

(Something about being) ...a normal slob,
You've got a wife and kid and a steady job,
You drink a magic potion, and you're now the Blob....

And that's all I recall.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 25 May 15 - 08:30 PM

TO A SMOKER, IT'S A KENT

To an ulcer, it's a shot of booze
to a weak heart, it's some shocking news,
to a deep cut, it could be gangrene,
to a smoker, nicotine.

To a sheriff, it's a top gun shot,
to a rustler, it's a hangman's knot,
to a cowboy, it's a wild stampede,
to a smoker, it's a weed.

To a bigot, it's a Jew next door,
to a klansman, it's a guy from CORE,
??

To a stroller, it's central park,

???

Anybody know the rest?

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Old galoot
Date: 27 Apr 15 - 03:55 PM

Our kid's away, thank God
Our kid's away!
We've sent him off to ca-amp
At fifty bu-ucks a da-ay!
Though that's a lot to pay
We'll make no fuss!
If we complain then they might
Send him back, send him back, to uh-usss!

Sung to Anchors Aweigh. Sound familiar to anyone?

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Ship2shore
Date: 20 Apr 15 - 09:44 AM

How the heck does one remember something from almost 50 years ago?? I think as kids, we treasured the hilarity and wittiness of both the words and the accompanying artwork, and set to music, it somehow remains intact. Can still visualize some of the funny art, too. I recall one more to share:

To the tune of the "Notre Dame Fight Song"

Cheer, cheer for our charge accounts.
We run up bills in mammoth amounts.
Freezers, sports cars, TV sets.
Each one keeps bringing brand new debts.
What though the bills be great or small?
We can't pay one, so why pay at all?
We will live in comfort while we're heading towards bankruptcy!

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Ship2shore
Date: 20 Apr 15 - 09:34 AM

Another funny blast from the past courtesy of the zany minds of Mad Magazine.

To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman" -

Harry the mailman brings us letters soaked with rain.
Jams the box so full that the mail is crushed
and then laughs when we complain.

Charlie the milkman is the biggest slob in town
Seldom leaves the quarts that we've asked him for,
when he does, they're upside-down.

Eleven months through-out the year, they're as lousy as can be.
But starting in December, they show great efficiency.
Then Charlie and Harry really show they're full of zip!
And they'll work that way every doggone day,
Til they get their Christmas tip!

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,JonWiz
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 10:01 PM

I remember only the first stanza of a parody of "The Killing od Dan Megrew"
   A bunch of the boys were whooping it up,
   one Christmas Eve one year,
   all full of cheap whiskey and hoping like hell,
   that Saint Nick would soon appear.
   
    Can't remember the rest, could someone help finish the rest?

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Guest Atimk11123
Date: 10 Oct 14 - 01:27 PM

I also remember a Mad Magazine parody on a poem. It went ,
I remember I remember the place where I was born
The little bathroom down the hall
where nineteen raced each morn

The rest I cannot remember of find a copy. It was a hoot.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,idseer
Date: 07 Sep 14 - 04:57 PM

ok, there was one from the 60's about Khrushchev sung to the tune "maria" from westside story. all I remember is:

nikita .... I just met a red named mikita

I know it's not much, but does anyone have access to the whole thing?

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Torka
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 04:07 PM

From the same "Songs About Food" issue mentioned previously...

HELLO, DELI
(to the tune of "Hello, Dolly")

Hello, deli...
This is Joe, deli...
Would you please send up some nice corned beef on rye?
A box of Ritz, deli;
And some Schlitz, deli;
Some chopped liver, and a sliver of your apple pie?
Turkey legs, deli;
Hard boiled eggs, deli;
Some tomatoes and potatoes you french fry,
Oh!
Please don't be late, deli!
Cause I can't wait, deli!
Deli, without breakfast I will die!

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 11:35 PM

Sung to the tune "Red river valley".......

In this valley they say they are digging
They are building a thruway they say
It will cross your yard and will miss
Your split level which is twelve feet away

Do not play by the craters they're digging
For the craters are big and they're deep
If you fall into one you'll be buried
And you really don't need all that sleep

Do not touch all the funny explosives
Do not play with the dynamite cap
If you do you'll be like a thruway
You'll be spread all over the map.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Sleight0fHand
Date: 03 Jun 14 - 12:00 PM

I still remember a good bit of a parody of the Gunga Din poem but about Joe Namath...

You can talk about your guards,
And your fullbacks gaining yards.
And those ends that run the hook and down-and-out.
But when it comes to glory, then the quarterback's your story.
Cause it's him the fans all want to read about.

Now there's .... and Johny U, Bart Starr and ..... too,
And Fran Tarkington, who scrambles for his dough.
But of those that pass the ball,
It seems the coolest of them all,
Is that hero of the Jets team, Broadway Joe.

For it's "Joe!, Joe!, Joe!", a blonde is waving in the seventh row.
All the grandstands will be shaking,
With the passes you'll be making.
And we don't mean playing football, Broadway Joe.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Stringbead
Date: 29 May 14 - 10:29 AM

Does anyone remember the parody song about Huntley and Brinkley? I remember parts of it. To the tune of Frankie and Johnnie.

Huntley and Brinkley were partners working for old NBC
They swore they would stick with each other every weekday on TV
Chet was Dave's pal, but he was doing him wrong.

At the end it was something like this:

Brinkley walked into the station and golly he pretty near died
Cause there in the newsroom was Huntley with Eric Severeid
Chet was Dave's pal, but he was doing him wrong.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Zingdar
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 10:29 AM

God bless the BOYS that made the NOISE
at MAD Magazine !

To the tune of "Kisses sweeter then wine"


Well, when I was a young man I had me no car,
So I always stayed home, I never went far.
I had me no wheels, no gas in the tank,
In fact all I really had was dough in the bank.

Oh, oh, money that was all mine,
Oh, oh, money that was all mine.

Well, I met a dealer and I showed him my cash,
He said, 'My friend, what you need is a '52 Nash.
The contract I signed was to drive me to tears,
It called for low easy payments
for the next hundred years.

Oh, oh, money no longer mine,
Oh, oh, money no longer mine.

Well, I don't like to protest, I'm just not that kind,
But when my grounds for complaint are so easy to find.
License and tax are outrageously high,
And when you go to insure, kiss your savings 'Go Bye'.

Oh, oh, money used to be mine,
Oh, oh, money used to be mine.

Well, I've heard it proclaimed,
though I'm not really sure.
That there's a Federal Program,
To help out the poor.
I don't ask for food or the Job-Training-Corp,
Just cash to make a dozen payments or more.

Oh, oh, money rightfully mine,
Oh, oh, money rightfully mine.

Subject: Oh goodness, oh gracious, oh golly, oh gee . . .
From: GUEST,demfig
Date: 24 Dec 13 - 10:51 PM

Trying to locate a Christmas poem published in Mad Magazine in late 50s or early 60s. It began, "Oh goodness, oh gracious oh golly, oh gee; I wonder what all the commotion can be?; someone is shouting and cursing at me; why, Santa is stuck in our chimney . . ." Can anyone help with additional verses?

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Sheld'n
Date: 14 Dec 13 - 10:47 PM

The above is to the tune of the "Notre Dame fight song".

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Sheld'n
Date: 14 Dec 13 - 10:43 PM

Ring, ring for Bell Telephone
We look up numbers when they're unknown
We place calls for V.I.P.s
We listen in each time we please

We are efficient, we are alert
We hear the gossip, pick up the dirt
Every time a call's cut off we
Hang up for victory!

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Nuttier Sister
Date: 04 Oct 13 - 05:17 PM

And, since our beloved candidate is immortal, we can adapt our song for any election. For instance a year ago we could have been singing:

To the tune of "Try to Remember"

Hillary voters, Obama promoters
will vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman.
Romney crusaders and Gingrich paraders
will vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman.

Alfred E. Neuman, with brain of albumen
will win just like Truman did from Missouri.
Back him and then we can say once again "What, Me Worry?


Let's see what happens in 2016. I sure I'll be sending a write-in ballad for Alfred!!!

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Nutty Sister
Date: 04 Oct 13 - 02:37 PM

I'm "trying to remember" that campaign song for Alfred E. Neuman.

This is what I have (thanks to those who posted some verses!)

To the tune of "Try to Remember"

Try to remember this coming
to vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman
Change your direction, don't look for perfection
and vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman.

Alfred E. Neuman, though slightly sub-human
will win just like Truman did from Missouri.
Back today and the country can say "What, Me Worry?"

Kennedy voters and Nixon promoters
will vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman.
Humphrey crusaders and Lindsay paraders
will vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman.

Alfred E. Neuman, with brain of albumen
will win just like Truman did from Missouri.
Back and then we can say once again "What, Me Worry?"

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,paladin1216
Date: 24 Sep 13 - 11:07 AM

This is from memory. I hope it's right.

She's a Mean Old Bag

To the tune of "Grand old Flag"

She's a mean old bag, she's a nasty old hag,
And forever she's filled us with hate.

But we treat her sweet, and kiss her feet,
And tell het we think that she's great.

She may curse at us, we will not raise a fuss,
When she starts in to scream and nag,

For we all are counting what we'll get,
From the will of that mean old bag.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies "Tea for Two"
From: GUEST,lifelonghuman
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 12:00 PM

No friends or relations,
On weekend vacations,...

On week...ends...we...can go...and see,
What used...to be...Schenec...tady, ...

[those ... are musical rests]

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 06:10 PM

the complete Pivnik Tech lyrics, to the best of my memory:

Pray, pray for old Pivnik Tech
We're gonna get it right in the neck
Send the sound of taps on high
As our whole team lays down to die

What though the odds may be great or small
Old Pivik Tech will fumble the ball
While our undergrads get sick
And transfer to USC

On another note, does anyone have the compete version of this Mad
parody of The Road to Mandalay, which contains the following:

On the road to Loueyville
Where the hoodlums shoot to kill
And the thugs come up like thunder
When you owe the mob a bill

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Tom
Date: 16 Jun 13 - 08:36 AM

Sorry but forgot a stanza in my post above, I think I have it correct here ...

Sung to the tune of "Born Free":

M-G
I live just to touch you
When I double clutch you
MG, it gives me a thrill

M-G
I love your ignition
Your four speed transmission
Your points, your plugs and your grill

M-G
When I look inside you
The sight of each piston rod
Brings me closer to God

M-G
I'll wash you and wax you
If some Chevy smacks you
I'll die .. M .. G

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Tom
Date: 16 Jun 13 - 08:21 AM

Sung to the tune of "Born Free":

M G
I live just to touch you
When I double clutch you
MG, it gives me a thrill

M G
I love your ignition
Your four speed transmission
Your points your plugs and your grill

M G
I'll wash you and wax you
If some Chevy smacks you
I'll die, M G

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Allenhopkins
Date: 24 May 13 - 06:10 PM

Some remembered:

In Levittown did Irving Kahn, a stately Cape Cod house decree,
Where Alf, the sacred Neuman dwelt
And Nick Fazool, and Olaf Svelt,
And even Sean Magee.

There fifty feet of crab-grass ground, with picket fence were girdled round,
A place for little Milt to play,
A port for Irving's Chevrolet.

But just one thing is not the very best;
You can't tell Irving's house from all the rest.

And one of the Pivnik Tech songs (to "On, Wisconsin"):

On brave Pivnik, on brave Pivnik, show them you've got spunk!
Suffocate them, decimate them, leave them all for junk!
Send a roar up, roll the score up, stomp them into mud --
And then clean up the mess with their own blood!

The garbage men's song (to "Anchors Aweigh"):

Trash cans away, my boys, trash cans away!
Let's really make some noise,
Let's wake them up today-ay-ay-ay;

Eggshells and coffee grounds, grease from the pan,
Can't make ear-splitting sounds,
So dump the garbage, dump the garbage can!

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Koro Neil
Date: 07 May 13 - 12:13 AM

Oops. Double up. I did a search on the page before my last post, but it didn't show up my earlier post.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Koro Neil
Date: 07 May 13 - 12:11 AM

Casting my memory back over 40 years or so, I come up with:

There's no stories like Poe stories,
Like no stories I know.
If you want a tale that is appalling,
If you want to murmur, shriek and cry,
If you want a tale with bodies falling,
And spirits calling, then Poe's your guy.
There's no stories like Poe stories,
They all fill us with woe.
If you want a tale that's filled with death galore,
With spirits tapping on your door,
And some crazy raven shouting, "Nevermore!"
There's no stories like Poe.

Probably a few errors in details, but that's it in essence.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Greven
Date: 06 May 13 - 03:17 AM

I'm also one of the baby boomers who loved mad magazine.
I still remember a few fragments such as Poe's the raven
I think that I shall never hear
a raven who is more sincere
that that one knocking on my door
who's always saying never more
A raven who I must assume
will dirty up my living room.

The Christmas songs in the hospital
for the criminally insane topped by
Deck the halls with parts of molly.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 13 - 11:18 PM

Re Pivnick Tech

Here's the small piece I remember

What though the odds they be great or small
Old Pivnick Tech will fumble the ball
While her undergrads get sick
And transfer to USC!

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: Fred Maslan
Date: 21 Apr 13 - 06:22 PM

That is why I started this thread, thanks for the addition.
Fred

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 13 - 05:14 PM

How I would like to have all the lyrics to "Tea for Two!" The only additional lyrics I recall are:
"Weekends we
Will go to see
What used to be
Schenectady..."

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: clueless don
Date: 08 Apr 13 - 08:55 AM

When you eat meat
but hate the meat that you're eating
you have surely got ...
Ground Round!

It's so unnerving
when they're constantly serving
in an eating spot ...
Ground Round!

It may be called a chopped steak
Salisbury or beef patty
No matter what it's called
it's always overcooked and fatty
What can you do?

Call out to your waiter there
beat down on your table
stand up on your chair
and say

Ground Round!
piled on my plate I see
Ground Round!
you're always conning me
Ground Round!
why does it have to be
Ground Round
Ground Round
[fade out]

Written down from memory. There may be some mistakes.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Guest, Andy
Date: 07 Apr 13 - 02:58 PM

I remember a few of these from Mad magazine.

"Downtown" with apologies to Petula Clark

When you hate meat but hate the meat that you're eating the. You've surely got "Ground round"

It's so unnerving when they're constantly serving in an eating spot, "Ground round"
It may be called a chopped steak, Salisbury or beef patty,
No matter what it is it's always overcooked and fatty.
What can you do?
Shout out to your waiter there, and loudly pound on the table, stand up on your chair and shout, " ground round!"
You're always serving me
"Ground round"
Why must it always be
"Ground round"
You're always serving me
G
"Ground round, ground round, ground round......

I'm not sure about all the lyrics, but they are close....

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Wash
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 10:07 AM

I could work at General Motors

or McDonalds taking orders

If I only had a brain...

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,malbuff
Date: 22 Jan 13 - 04:26 PM

"I wandered lonely as a clod,
Just picking up old rags and bottles;
When onward on my way I trod,
I saw a host of axolotls.
Beside the lake, beneath the trees
A sight to make a man's blood freeze.
Some had handles, some were plain;
They came in blue, red, pink and green.
Some were orange in the main--
The damnedest sight I've ever seen.
The females gave a spritely glance,
The male ones all wore knee-length pants."


The second, and concluding, verse ran thus:

Now oft, when on the couch I lie
The doctor asks me what I see;
They flash upon my inward eye,
And make me laugh with fiendish glee.
I find my solace then in bottles,
And I forget them axolotls.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies: No stories like Poe
From: GUEST,Koro Neil
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 09:16 PM

Stretching my memory back over decades -

There's no stories like Poe stories, like no stories I know.
If you want a tale that is appalling,
If you want to murmur, shriek and cry,
If you want a tale with bodies falling, and spirits calling,
Then Poe's your guy.
There's no stories like Poe stories, they all fill us with woe.
If you want a tale that's filled with death galore,
With spirits tapping on your door,
And some crazy raven shouting "Never more!"
There's no stories like Poe.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Flawn
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 11:42 PM

To the tune of "stout-hearted men":

Give me some men who are post office men
Who work hard to deliver the mail
Men who will go through the rain, through the snow
Through the sleet, through the slush through the hail!

Doorway to doorway, it's my way, it's your way
We work, never shirk, never fail
And when there's no more mailbags to keep us on the street
Then post office men can go home and soak their feet!

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Guest:john
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 11:40 PM

Entire "Watchdog in the Night".

Watchdog in the night, I never chained you,
Watchdog in the night, I always trained you,
To protect my house, until the night was through.

Then those burglars came, you didn't mind it,
They were after loot, you helped them find it,
Diamond rings and furs, you quickly led them to.

Watchdog in the night, a stupid beagle you were,
Watchdog in the night, and later on when I returned to my poor home,
How your jaws did foam,
You became a snapping dog, a crazy fearless yapping dog,

Whenever I'm sight, it's so upsetting,
Every time you bite, it's me you're getting,
Now you're full of fight, my watchdog in the night.

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 09:11 PM

"Oh little town of Washington" starts,

Oh! Little town of Washington,
We hear no Agnew speech. . .

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,LeeQ
Date: 01 Dec 12 - 04:22 PM

I remember a particular parody of Chesterfield cigarettes back in the 60's.

It featured a "bum" looking for a cigarette butt.They changed the name to Chesterfind.

Lyrics:

Hustlin' handouts, guzzlin' cheap wine
Stoppin' people, askin' for a dime
Staggering and reeling you will find a man
Who stoops to find great pleasure when and where he can
Chesterfind!

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Nov 12 - 02:52 PM

Amoeba- just look at the pretty amoeba- contentedly it sits,then suddenly it splits...in two!

Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Bilben Der
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 11:44 AM

ooops...forgot to replace the ??? I had used while I recollected... :)


Here's how I remember: "It's A Grand Old Flag"

It's a grand old bag, it's a nice plastic bag
and we find them on all of our clothes.
Oh a kid can play the live-long day
with them everywhere that he goes.
They are much more fun
than a doll or a gun,
you can wave them around like flags.
But should old acquaintance be forgot,
keep your head out of plastic bags!

Subject: It's A Grand Old Flag
From: GUEST,Billben Der
Date: 26 Sep 12 - 11:42 AM

Here's how I remember: "It's A Grand Old Flag"

It's a grand old bag, it's a ???? plastic bag
and we find them on all of our clothes.
Oh a kid can play the live-long day
with them everywhere that he goes.
They are much more fun
than a doll or a gun,
you can wave them around like flags.
But should old acquaintance be forgot,
keep your head out of plastic bags!