What is the worst song you ever heard?

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Jon W.
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 12:08 PM

"Roxanne" was by The Police (featuring Sting on bass and vocals) who otherwise put out some really fun songs. It's just that "Roxanne" is the worst they ever did (except for possibly the remix of "Don't Stand So Close-1985") and why is it that the radio stations play it so much?

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Oct 99 - 01:23 PM

me, I'm lucky...'cause a lot of the 'worst' songs mentioned are pop/rock/SSW stuff(along with some "country")....and ever since I heard Snooky Lanson try to sing "Rock Around the Clock" on 'Your Hit Parade' in about 1955, I realized that the coming trend in pop music was not for me...I barely listened to anything for several years..then in the early 60's, the 'folk scare' hit...but I missed 'most' of the pop-folk stuff even then..I knew who Joan Baez and the Limelighters were, but simply did not go out of my way to find them. I got into a folk group who were doing a lot of trad stuff, and saw the Beers Family, Pete Seeger, aabd The New Lost City Ramblers, and found Richard Dyer-Bennet and Jean Redpath in the library..(and Burl Ives for some things)...and away we went!

So...I simply was not LISTENING to the pop-crud..(yeah, sure, I missed a few good things...but...)...now I have over 500 records...400+ of which I really like, and LOTS of tapes, songbooks, etc...enough for a lifetime+ without EVER hearing MacArthur Park..(wouldn't know it if it bit me on the butt!)

Is this snobbery & eliteism? *shrug*..maybe..*grin*..I do have fun, though

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: McMusic
Date: 06 Oct 99 - 09:03 PM

Don't know if anyone mentioned these or not (such a long thread; so little time): "Honey" a putrid tearjerker from the 60's, sung by Bobby Goldsboro, and the song sung by that awful, damned purple dinosauer--"I love you; you love me....).

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Owlkat
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 01:49 AM

Hi again. I can't believe that you've left this song out of your lists. This is surely one of the most despicable abuses of the songwriters art. It's so mind-bogglingly evil. These are the only words I can remember. Sort of.

"The Ballad of The Green Berets"

...thirteen men(?) test today, but only three(?) wear the green beret!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 03:27 AM

I don't mind lyrics being a bit silly; they're not supposed to be poetry, after all (at least not in popular songs). What really gets up my nose is inexcusably bad grammar, such as "The clouds roll by/For you and I": they might roll by for you. mate, but they certainly don't roll by for I!

Actually, I should take the wind out of my own sails by admitting that I sing "before that you'll marry I" in Blackwaterside, but that's a trad. song and doesn't count!

Steve

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 07:00 AM

My own I hope someone reads this, maybe Catspaw cause the cat seems to read EVERTHING. But it is really a question. Why is it, not long after I create what I feel is a beautiful piece of music, I start disliking it? Do other people have those feelings? Is it my high expectations on my work? I find it sad, because I never really relax and enjoy my creations. Little Neo

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: paddymac
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 04:27 PM

There's a vein in american "country" music that offers a veritable cornucopia of klunkers, some so bad that they are actually hillarious. Two of the "standouts" are "I would'a wrote ya a letter, but couldn't spell yechhhhhh" and (my personal nominee for all-time second-worst song) "Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life". The top spot is reserved for "It's a small world after all".

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Peter T.
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 04:47 PM

Little Neo, I think it is called post-partum depression. When you are creating something you think for a while that it is the best thing ever, but then the ardour cools and you feel that it no longer carries the aura of creation (And therefore the grand solution to all things) around with it. Psychologists have a field day with this depressive position (relating it to greed and certain bodily functions).....I am not making this up.
Steve, concerning the Unicorn Song, I believe that there are these two songs, one of which is the Irish Rover's Noah and the Ark song, and the other is something Peter, Paul, and Mary sing about having a unicorn as a best friend. I recall some Mudcatter complaining about having to sing the Unicorn Song, and it sounded like it was the latter, not the former. I have never heard the latter, so it might be terrific.
I still think "Having My Baby" has the highest position for me on the Vomitometer, but what of "Wind Beneath My Wings"? Can this be beaten for sheer narcissism disguised as compliment?
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 05:46 PM

Little neophyte outgrew her baby shoes. Thanks Peter T, I believe clinical psychology would have a hay day with me. I think I'm experiencing musician growing pains. Growth spurts on the learning curb where I lose interest in what I created because I sense I could do so much more. WOS

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: ddw
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 08:44 PM

I'd personally rather sit on a hot poker than listen to Sheryl Crowe's "Winding Road."

ddw

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: John
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 09:28 PM

The worst song I ever heard was a little ditty composed by someone down here in Oz called "Mummy, do they have guitars in heaven?" It was intended to be the worse country song ever written, and in that it may have succeeded. I guess against competition like that, it really is a brilliant song!!!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: j0_77
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 09:57 PM

Different kinds of Art produce different kinds of response. Never did figure out what was the worst art or the best. I know what I like, certain singer's voices give me the eebe jeebes but that is God's doing making my ears the way they are.

:)

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: fox4zero
Date: 08 Oct 99 - 06:01 PM

The song that still drives me insane is PAPER WOSES by Marie Osmond. I can't get her cute wittle withp out of my head....I hadn't thought of it for years.

Just about every country song after 1951.

Parish

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Kira
Date: 08 Oct 99 - 09:18 PM

Apparently, none of you have a pre-school aged child - because nobody said "THE BARNEY SONG" !

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 08 Oct 99 - 09:21 PM

I don't know if PP&M recorded it, but the "other" Unicorn Song is by Margie Adam, and it's great.

When I was very small/ My best friend was a Unicorn;/ The others smiled at me and called me - crazy;/ But I was not upset/ By knowing I did not conform/ I always knew their thinking must be - hazy/

(Chorus) The unicorn and I would while away the hours/ dancing prancing and romancing in the wild flowers and we'd sing/ seeing is believing - in the things you see/ Loving is believing in the ones you love.

She was pianist and singer/songwriter around in the 70's; I have no idea what she's up to now.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: McMusic
Date: 09 Oct 99 - 03:44 AM

More contemporary country songs, anyone? About 15 yrs. ago a song which had in its chorus :"Just a-swangin'..." "A Headache Tomorrow, Or A Heartache Tonight". And kudos to all who mention "Loving You"! God pity us, what a hideous song!!!! And "Tie Me Kangeroo Down, Sport"? No offense to our friends Down Under, but does anyone remember Pat Boone's version of that song? Or--God help us--his cover of "Tutti-Fruitti"? Not a great song in the first place, but to hear it sung in "bleach" is awful! Come to think of it, maybe we can add the Pat Boone discography in its entirety to the list!!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Muskrat 2
Date: 09 Oct 99 - 09:09 PM

How about "Hello, I Love You, Won't You Tell Me Your Name?" by the Doors? Yuck!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Bluesy
Date: 09 Oct 99 - 09:19 PM

how about the Pat Boone Metal album? Crazy Train, Stairway to Heaven and Smoke on The Water in particular. If you haven't heard this, you should make an effort to. It is horrible.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: sophocleese
Date: 09 Oct 99 - 10:39 PM

Why should I waste my time listening to Pat Boone? Have you ever heard recordings of Florrie Foster Jenkins disembowelling the Queen of the Night aria from the Magic Flute. What was particularily cruel about the CD I heard was that they also played some other couple doing horrible, horrible things to Faust as well. That couple had only recorded themselves singing for their own pleasure, not to try and sell records for profit. 'Course they had given theor permission for the CD.... I've lost my Party Death tape that I used to have around. It had really bad songs from the seventies, ( the first one was 'I Like Dreaming', I've forgotten the rest) I used it once at a party that was invaded by beings from some other planet. It repelled them.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Lowden Unruly
Date: 09 Oct 99 - 10:42 PM

Billy the Kid , not the great old folk song, but the original abomination by Billy Joel, something like "It was their dream " by Patty Larkin that I unwittingly put in my CD player (it was on a sampler) and of course "Spirit in the Sky" which sounds like JL Hooker on sacharine. Gag me with a forklift. LR

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 10 Oct 99 - 06:00 PM

Muskrat I love that song!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 10 Oct 99 - 07:43 PM

Florence Foster Jenkins doing Queen of the Night belongs on a thread of recordings so bad they're funny, which is why it got (gets?) played on the Midnite Special a lot.

If you've missed her, she was a society lady with operqtic pretensions - had the dough to vanity record, and throw concerts for her friends to attend. the sad/funny part was, she had the notes in her range, just couldn't be bothered to actually learn the material. she could have afforded the best voice coach money could buy, but didn't.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Lonesome Dave
Date: 10 Oct 99 - 09:00 PM

The entire Harry Chapin songbook.In every song he wrote he would use the last verse to explain the song in case you were too stupid to get it.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: McMusic
Date: 12 Oct 99 - 03:12 AM

Bluesy--I'm not sure my nerves/stomach could take it. I'd heard he recorded a metal album, thought it a joke. Ah, well--I'd rather he do that than destroy traditional music. How 'bout you? And Kira--I didn't fergit th' song. I mentioned it in the same gag as I did the song "Honey."

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 12 Oct 99 - 06:25 AM

Just to prove ( if proof were needed!) just how out of step with the known world I am, my nomination "I am the Walrus", got into a recent UK poll of top ten favourite lyrics. Three (count, 'em, THREE ) Robbie Williams songs were in there and Lennon's "Imagine" was top. Hoagy Carmichael (who only wrote the tune) gets in at no 10 with "Stardust".
RtS

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Pete peterson
Date: 12 Oct 99 - 10:10 AM

Back about 10 postings Little Neo said something like 'how come I only like the song I wrote till I've finished it and then my satisfaction drops and I get disgusted with it?" Not sure I have an answer since I have much more fun singing other people's songs than creating my own, but I remember an artist *(painter) saying "no work of art is ever done, at best it is pulled out of the artist's clutching hands" and maybe she was trying to say Ialways think the NEXT one isgoing to be the masterpiece. Maybe what you are doing is really good-- it enables you to go on to the NEXT piece. Not that it's a comfort, but no artist can ever judge the quality of their own work. Sometimes one gets pleasantly surprised by other people's opinions. Don't give up!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Peter T.
Date: 12 Oct 99 - 05:05 PM

Roger the Skiffler, no one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the British public. At least they didn't top the polls with the rewritten version of "Goodbye Norma Jean" for Princess Diana.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: The Duck of the Irish
Date: 13 Oct 99 - 12:31 AM

All Rap songs are tied for worst, then Rock and Roll Heaven!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From:
Date: 13 Oct 99 - 02:06 PM

Hello I'm back after a few months of Netlessness. If we could summarize what really gets under the most folks skin, it's: "just about everything that got heavy rotation on AM radio in the 70's, with strings". I see it as a hellish collision of lyricists stretching (past) the limits of their talents to accommodate the new freedoms and pretensions(Having My Baby, McArthur F*****g Park, certainly anything by N Diamond, and the aforementioned "Timothy, where on earth did you go? God why don't I know? (burp)"--all songs with highly unmemorable melodies, with these arrangers --for all I know, maybe it was just one guy--who got ahold of the songs and added these perky little hooks with flutes and strings and bang, you right away (a) hated the thing and (b) could NOT get it out of your cranium. They had bad melodies, worse lyrics but did they have HOOKS!

Fortunately, the whole top 40 thing sort of died , but unfortunately the bad 70's bubblegum music torch has been picked up by the so-called "new country" stations. A place where "that's my girl, my whole world but that ain't my truck" is one of the better entries. Almost anything sung by a man in this format seems to be a golly whiz paean to faithful devotion to his gosh darn best gal pal in the whole world under God and the Stars and Stripes. Makes me want to--oh, never mind.

Bill C

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Toni
Date: 14 Oct 99 - 08:43 AM

I couldn't resist - I have an all-time-most-hated song that has been mentioned in this list a couple of times - "I've Never Been to Me" by someone called "Sharleen" (I think). It's the first track in "Pricilla Queen of the Desert" & nearly put me off an otherwise brilliant movie!

"I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete..." "I've been undressed by kings & I've seen some things that a woman aint 'sposed to see, I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me..."

PL-EASE!!! Get a life!

The scary thing is I know most of the words - this crap just seems to embed itself into your brain.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: JedMarum
Date: 14 Oct 99 - 09:17 AM

Wow - what a great thread! And what a great list! I think I agree with every bad song listed - they were all my favorite stupidest songs of all time, it seems, at one time or another! Two thoughts to add though;

Someone listed a Neal Diamond classic, and I'd have to go further to add just about any Neal Diamond song would make my trash list, at least if Neal is singing it.

But my nominee for the world's all time worst pop tune is the Pina Colada Song - you know the one where the guy's tired of his girlfriend - puts an ad in the paper for a romantic opportunity - and it is responded to by his girlfriend? This classic bad song had absurd lyrics, a childish point, incredibly unimaginitve melody, a bad arrangement, and was sung by an extremely limited singer. Seems to me this stinker's a hand on winner!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Gint
Date: 14 Oct 99 - 06:56 PM

I am my own grampa the rendition by Tom Arnold in the film The Stupids, I had a friend who kept playing it & playing it, I think it reminded him of his own family

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: paddymac
Date: 15 Oct 99 - 06:00 PM

For all you lovers of "The Unicorn" and rap, there's a CD you just gotta hear. It's called "We have a Dream" by an Ohio group named "Brigid's Cross". A great group of really talented and nice folks. Their sense of hunmor is best reflected at the end of the CD. There's a track not listed on the jacket or disk itself there, which I suspect was created after way too many pints or some other influence. Here it is guys & gals - it's probably the first and hopefully only rap version of Ol' Shel's Unicorn by the "Too White For You Rap Band". It's really a gas - about like a pizza fart, but hilarious as well.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Ron
Date: 16 Oct 99 - 09:55 AM

Tulsa Time I enjoy hearing Don Williams, and he won a Grammy for this song, but I can't stand it.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: GUEST,guest Baillie
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 01:30 PM

...Speaking of 'Honey' by Bobby Goldsboro, at least that song spawned a damned good parody, if anyone wants the words I've got them!

...I met her on the midnight bus, she didn't laugh, she didn't fuss,
she just took my fare, and I admired silently the ticket that she gave to me, it matched the colour of her hair..

And on it goes...

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: mike the knife
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 04:28 PM

There is not enough bandwith here to list all of the offensive twaddle, syrupy pablum, and annoying bumf that is out there. "2525" is bad, "Seasons in the Sun" and "Shannon" (it's gonna hurt- she's drifting off to sea- WTF is that?) will cause spontaneous abortion in cattle. "Patches" is inexcusable, as are most of the 1960's & 70's AM radio staples. "Cherokee Nation" makes me want to kill myself.
There should be no place to hide for all of the composers, musicians, record company execs, record store clerks and their ilk who foist this crap off onto us. They will NOT take their fingers off of the "Feeling Button". Seek them out in ther fetid lairs and eliminate them.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: PoppaGator
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 04:58 PM

Mention of the god-awful Pina Colada Song reminds me of a song that makes me grind my teeth whenever I hear it: "Kokomo" by the Beach Boys.

Don't get me wrong: I love Brian Wilson and his brothers and cousin and friend, and the song marked their long-delayed comeback, BUT:

I'll never be able to accept the idea of "Kokomo" as a tropical paradise. Kokomo is a small city with a large military base on US 31 in Indiana, where I was once snowbound on a Greyhound bus -- in November! I know I'm not being the least bit objective about this, but I just can't listen to any song that extols the virtues of balmy Kokomo!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Cruiser
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:28 PM

'Midnight at the Oasis' by Maria Muldaur (mule deer!)

Midnight at the oasis
Send your camel to bed...

With fifty girls to attend him, they all send him
Jump at his beck and call

I'll be your belly dancer, [romancer]
And you can be my sheik

And the bestiality line;

And you won't need no camel, oh no
When I take you for a ride

Heaven's holding a half moon {the song deserves a full moon, IYKWIM}

Oh why did I open this thread. Maria's shrieking voice reverberates throughout my head, bouncing around like the violent winds off the sand dunes.....

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: GUEST, Mikefule
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 02:41 AM

I can't remember the whole song but I have it on a Bix Beiderbeck tape somewhere with the lyric

Heaven abovable
Made you so lovable
Love me lovable child.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: GUEST, Mikefule
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 02:45 AM

Here we go, good ol' Google:

Transcribed from vocals by Bing Crosby, with the Paul Whiteman Orchestra, n.d.,
From Bix "n" Bing with the Paul Whiteman Orchestra, Academy Sound and Vision, CD AJA 5005.

Lovable!
There's no use talking,
You're so lovable!
When we go walking I throw out my chest,
Say, you're the best;
Others just imitate
Kisses that you create!

Lovable!
You got a way of pettin'
That just drives me wild!
Say!
Heaven above-able,
Made you so lovable,
Love me, lovable child!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: GUEST,Music Lover
Date: 05 Mar 04 - 07:43 PM

I hope the laxative goes to work soon . . .

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 05 Mar 04 - 07:52 PM

I know it's a bit late to point this out, Poppagator, but there are six places in the United States called Kokomo, including one in Hawaii.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 05 Mar 04 - 08:31 PM

There was a hit by a Thingummyjig Travis (not the group, a singer) in the eighties that had the line "I ain't in love with your hair...". I loathed that with passion, and so I managed to erase it from memory...
Also - anything those two Spanish girls sang in the 70's ("Yes Sir - I will boogie..." yeeaachhh!).
Also - some of my own stuff that Her Indoors has rightly vetoed.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Amergin
Date: 05 Mar 04 - 08:35 PM

long black veil certainly is high on the list...as well as most anything by the Doors...

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 05 Mar 04 - 11:45 PM

Watching a TV show about the Blues in England with folks like Georgie Fame, John Mayall and Clapton and for God only knows why, Tom Jones!
The man has become a carricature of himself and I nominate his entire discography, especially "The Green, Green Grass of Home". If he gets any bigger he will surpass the "fat" Elvis.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Mar 04 - 03:42 AM

No matter how many horrible songs are out there, I still can't move "After the Lovin'" from the number one spot on my list. Nothing makes me shudder like the opening line from that song.

I've seen Ode to Billy Joe mentioned numerous times on the worst song thread and I wonder what it is that makes people hate it. I think from a songwriting perspective, it's a pretty well-written song. No hook, too many verses and an interestingly told story. I like that.

How about Crimson and Clover? God!! What tripe!!!

And yeah, Jim Morrison wrote clumsy, barely collegiate level lyrics and SO many people think he was a profound genius. That's showbiz.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: GUEST,Susanl
Date: 06 Mar 04 - 03:43 AM

That last submission was from me. Sorry.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 06 Mar 04 - 04:02 AM

The Theme from the Titanic!

A favourite in China's karaoke parlours and anywhere with public singing. Sung without regards to key or ability to hit a right note.

Grandma sung by Clive Dunn.

When it came out back in the late 70's early 80's two crew members of a submarine I was serving on went into Helensburgh bought and paid for 10 copies and then jumped up and down on them much to the surprise of the staff of J Menzies!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 06 Mar 04 - 08:31 AM

1. The Lightning Express
2. Okie From Muskogie
3. This Kiss, worst line ever in a song ' It's Centrifugal Motion '
pronounced, sentriffagal.
why are all the worst songs C&W
eric

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Peace
Date: 07 Mar 04 - 01:37 AM

Eve of Destruction
Horse With No Name
YMCA
Kung Fu Fighting
Onward Christian Soldiers