BS: In every thread someone has to be last!

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 May 04 - 05:14 AM

You have been warned....

Sonnet 14/04/04                      CMVI

Can springtime offer me more than I find
In dreams of you? I do not hope to see
A flower to match lips, nor one to be
As soft as look in eyes. I have in mind
Rebirth enough for world: If you are kind,
I will to heavens reach, and brush your cheek
With lips. If only I might hear you speak
Soft words of hope, I would to past be blind.
But, dream does not fill arms, nor lend the gift
Of sharing your sweet looks. I remain far
From heart's desire: I must from your words sift
What hope I can. You remain distant star,
To guide my heart: For now, your smile will lift
My spirits up, and melancholy bar.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 05 May 04 - 05:46 AM

..."Between the years of ninety-two and a hundred and two, however, we shall be the ribald, useless, drunken outcast person we have always wished to be. We shall have a long white beard and long white hair; we shall not walk at all, but recline in a wheel chair and bellow for alcoholic beverages; in the winter we shall sit before the fire with our feet in a bucket of hot water, with a decanter of corn whiskey near at hand, and write ribald songs against organized society; strapped to one arm of our chair will be a forty-five caliber revolver, and we shall shoot out the lights when we want to go to sleep, instead of turning them off; when we want air we shall throw a silver candlestick through the front window and be damned to it; we shall address public meetings to which we have been invited because of our wisdom in a vein of jocund malice. We shall ... but we don't wish to make any one envious of the good time that is coming to us. ... We look forward to a disreputable, vigorous, unhonored and disorderly old age."

                                       Don Marquis, 1927


Me, I've already started..xx..e


(PS-Including the beard)

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 May 04 - 06:14 AM

I don't think I want to wait until I am 92...

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: 42
Date: 05 May 04 - 09:24 AM

Dateline: Mudcat

Sonorous Sonnets Sate Sonambulistic Subjects


and the thread goes on.

j

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: s6k
Date: 05 May 04 - 10:01 AM

im gonna be last, so can everyone stop posting now please

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 05 May 04 - 11:42 AM

Okey dokey..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 05 May 04 - 11:53 AM

If you haden't said "please" . . .

Your welcome Ellen - while it doesn't get me girlfriends, being helpful has given me many girl friends. Most of which I'd like to shag as well, but . . .

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --


Spirits of the Dead

Edgar Allen Poe (1827)

Thy soul shall find itself alone
'Mid dark thoughts of the grey tomb-stone;
Not one, of all the crowd, to pry
Into thine hour of secrecy.
Be silent in that solitude,
Which is not loneliness- for then
The spirits of the dead, who stood
In life before thee, are again
In death around thee, and their will
Shall overshadow thee; be still.
The night, though clear, shall frown,
And the stars shall not look down
From their high thrones in the Heaven
With light like hope to mortals given,
But their red orbs, without beam,
To thy weariness shall seem
As a burning and a fever
Which would cling to thee for ever.
Now are thoughts thou shalt not banish,
Now are visions ne'er to vanish;
From thy spirit shall they pass
No more, like dew-drop from the grass.
The breeze, the breath of God, is still,
And the mist upon the hill
Shadowy, shadowy, yet unbroken,
Is a symbol and a token.
How it hangs upon the trees,
A mystery of mysteries!

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 05 May 04 - 12:07 PM

Shagging can be very helpful in the right circumstances. But more important at the moment is...just where the heck did that word come from to describe that act?

"shag (vb) to have sex (with).
A common vulgarism in Britain and Australia which is unknown in this in the USA. The word is an archaic relative of 'shake', which was used in a sexual sense from at least the 16th century. In Britain shag took over the taboo role in the 18th century, while in the USA it took on the (now obsolete) meaning of 'run off' or 'run after'. In modern usage the word is considered less offensive than fuck in male company, but more vulgar than other synonyms. Like fuck it occurs in other forms, such as the noun shag, the intensifying adjective 'shagging' and phrases such as 'shag off'. "

;-D   ..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: s6k
Date: 05 May 04 - 01:06 PM

i wont say please this time then.

stop bloody posting you buggers or i will bloody hit you all you bloody buggers

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 05 May 04 - 01:10 PM

Too late s6k.

Ellen - nothing turns me on more than a lady talking sex in an academic way.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 May 04 - 01:10 PM

Only about 2555 posts needed now to catch up with the MOAB!

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 05 May 04 - 01:16 PM

Yes, but with this thread it's quality over quantity.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 May 04 - 08:29 PM

As I said, I have LOTS more...


Sonnet 31/03/04                                  CMII

She lights my dreams with her sweet smile, and gives
To heart the hope that spring will offer chance
To show a part of what in her glance lives:
A way of seeing all that feeds romance.
The thought of her lends passion to my night
And longing when I wake to bright sunrise.
I want her in my arms, to hold her tight,
And fall to sleep looking into her eyes.
What can I say, to tell what dreams have found
Within her words? Her thoughts reach to my soul,
And hold my heart: Heart is by my hopes bound,
And dreams seem to be by sweet muse made whole.
Muse brings the sunshine to a dreary day,
When all of world seems to be dark and gray.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: GUEST,Corridus
Date: 05 May 04 - 11:51 PM

Where is Measle? I have sworn to destroy him.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 06 May 04 - 12:22 AM

Daffodils
William Wordsworth

I WANDER'D lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretch'd in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 May 04 - 12:31 AM

so, as we wander from baud to verse...

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 May 04 - 12:34 AM

or should it be bawd to verse?

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: GUEST,freda
Date: 06 May 04 - 03:55 AM

I'm not averse to some verse
except when i'm bored
it could be verse
I could be bawd
but when the verse gets worse
and turns to bawd
and when the bawdy turns to doggeral
its then that i bite the verse that fed me
and send that doggeral to buggeral..

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 May 04 - 04:01 AM

For GUEST Corridus

Sneezles

Christopher Robin
Had wheezles
And sneezles,
They bundled him into
His bed.
They gave him what goes
With a cold in the nose,
And some more for a cold
In the head.
They wondered
If wheezles
Could turn
Into measles,
If sneezles
Would turn
Into mumps;
They examined his chest
For a rash,
And the rest
Of his body for swellings and lumps.
They sent for some doctors
In sneezles
And wheezles
to tell them what ought
To be done.
All sorts and conditions
Of famous physicians
Came hurrying round
At a run.
They all made a note
Of the state of his throat,
They asked if he suffered from thirst;
Tehy asked if the sneezles
Came after the wheezles,
Or if the first sneezle
Came first.
They said,"If you teazle
A sneezle
Or wheezle,
A measle
May easily grow.
But humour or pleazle
The wheezle
Or sneezle,
The measle
Will certainly go."
They expounded the reazles
For sneezles
And wheezles,
The manner of measles
When new.
They said, "If he freezles
In draughts and in breezles,
Then PHTHEEZLES
May even ensue."


Christopher Robin
Got up in the morning,
The sneezles had vanished away.
And the look in his eye
Seemed to say to the sky,
"Now how to amuse them today?"

A A Milne

JGM

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 06 May 04 - 04:10 AM

Uh oh, this thread has become something actually worth reading!

Contribution for the day..(Time for my favorite quotation)

"To see a World in a Grain of Sand/ And Heaven in a Wild Flower/ Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand/ And Eternity in an hour.

                                        -William Blake

...xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 May 04 - 04:57 AM

Poetry is
Only the
Evolution of
Thoughts,
Reading, in these words,
Your own.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 06 May 04 - 10:33 PM

Ellenpoly - you got mail

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: JennyO
Date: 06 May 04 - 10:57 PM

I wandered lonely as a clod,
Picking up old rags and bottles.
When onward on my way I plod
I saw a host of axolotls.
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
A sight to make a man's blood freeze.

Alfred E Neuman - Mad Magazine

Now, having rescued this thread from near the bottom, in the words of Aunty Jack
if I can't be last in this thread "I'll rip yer bloody arms orf"

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: ranger1
Date: 06 May 04 - 11:03 PM

Catch me if you can! But better be able to swim a loooong way! And watch out for that giant penguin, too!

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 07 May 04 - 01:51 AM

You know this is the perfect BS thread - we've devolved to citing poetry, which is songs without music!

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: JennyO
Date: 07 May 04 - 04:43 AM

Blackcatter, expect a lively debate about whether poetry is songs without music. I know some people, including my SO, who is a songwriter, who would loudly disagree.

Not me though. I don't really care. I just want to be last on this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 07 May 04 - 05:12 AM

Oh goody! A debate! That's something original, never have been done before on mudcat. But it probably wouldn't pan out, as we are all in such common agreement on every subject under the sun and a bit further out than that as well.

Thought for the day from archie (Don Marquis)

if you get gloomy just
take an hour off and sit
and think how
much better this world
is than hell
of course it won t cheer
you up much if
you expect to go there

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: 42
Date: 07 May 04 - 06:30 AM

ah finally...Chicken Soup for the Mudcatted Soul

j

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 May 04 - 12:45 PM

All for the love of Mehitabel.
JGM

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 May 04 - 12:47 PM

Waaaah!

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: s6k
Date: 07 May 04 - 01:08 PM

sigh

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 07 May 04 - 01:38 PM

Dedicated to Ellenpoly:

Shel Silverstein - APHRODISIAC

        
Now, listen to me, folks...
Hear what I say.
You got to eat oysters everyday
They'll put your love life back on track
They're nature's own aphrodisiac.

Ohh, ohhh... yes it's true
What a little oyster can do for you.
Ohh, ohhh... ain't it fun
Here's some things them oysters done...

They made Jim Beam
They made Allen Thick
They made Jonathan Swift
And they made Gracie Slick
They made Victor Mature
And they made Tom Petty
They started Willie Waylon
And they got Helen Reddy.
They made Tom Cruise
They made Oscar Wilde
They gave Gary Hart
But they gave Gomer Piles
They made William Hurt
They made Lucille Ball
They made Wilson Picket
And that ain't all.

Ohh, ohhh... yes it's true
What a little oyster can do for you.
Ohh, ohhh... ain't it fun
Here's some more them oysters done.

They made Stevie Wonder
And they made old John Wayne
They made Saul Bellow
And caused Thomas Paine
Turned Clint Black
And turned Barry White
Made Doris' Day
And Gladys' Knight.
They gave Bob Hope
They gave Percy Faith
They made Marvin Gaye
But they made George Straight
They made Bobby's Short
And Lester's Flatt
And hey... they even did more than that.

Ohh, ohhh... yes it's true
What a little oyster can do for you.
Ohh, ohhh... ain't it fun
Here's some more them oysters done.

They got George Bush
They made Bozo a Clown
They got Bobby Bare
And made Ezra Pound
They made Gallo Wine
They made Merle Haggart
They Made Andy Devine
They made Jimmy Swagger
They made Rich Little
And made Hughie Long
They made BB King
And they made Neil's Armstrong
And if you ask my wife,
She'll tell you quite gaily
Best of all they made old Pat Daily.

Ohh, ohhh... yes it's true
What a little oyster can do for you.
Ohh, ohhh... ain't it fun
That's all about oysters
Now we're done.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: beardedbruce
Date: 07 May 04 - 07:50 PM

a song often needs the music to work- if merely read, it would not have the same impact as when sung. But a poem ( well, a good poem) should have the same impact read or sung ( or chanted).

There are many rhymes in songs that would never be acceptable in vers.

and "It doesn't matter if you throw a few extra syllables into a line."

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 08 May 04 - 05:55 AM

Why thank you Blackcatter! I love oysters, by the by...though as pointed out by Lawrence Olivier in Spartacus, there's something to be said for snails..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: 42
Date: 08 May 04 - 08:18 AM

they just work more slowly!

j

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: s6k
Date: 08 May 04 - 08:19 AM

but in every thread someone has to be first, and you will see i have already made that thread. so i win. ha

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: 42
Date: 08 May 04 - 09:09 AM

wrong battle
j

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 08 May 04 - 02:48 PM

s6k - You're a wunnerful person - but why not try to come up with an original idea?

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: s6k
Date: 08 May 04 - 03:03 PM

true, how about, in every thread someone has to be 7th !

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 May 04 - 03:30 PM

I love the way they twitch when you sqeeze fresh lemon juice on them.
John

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: beardedbruce
Date: 08 May 04 - 10:50 PM

I hope that last is in relation to snails, and not 7th postings in threads!

Time for another sonnet...

Sonnet 07/05/02      Bhean Sidhe    DCLXXXVIII

It was an odd noise that I heard, this night:
Not quite a scream, but far more than a gasp,
From moonless darkness, with no stars in sight.
What is this coldness, that my insides clasp?
Why do I weaken, hearing sound so far
Only the echo reaches ear, yet mind
Is twisted from intent? How can I bar
Gates of imagination, to wyrd bind?
I fall, boneless with fright, and sweat breaks out;
Bowels turn to water with despair. I weep,
To lose all. I maon, but cannot give shout
To more than whimper, nor my reason keep.
She passes, and I live! Yet dare not rise
For fear of seeing Death within her eyes.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 09 May 04 - 06:29 AM

"that stern and
rockbound coast felt
like an amateur
when it saw how grim
the puritans that
landed on it were"

       (archie, AKA Don Marquis)

Cookie anyone?..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: 42
Date: 09 May 04 - 03:31 PM

But I couldn't quit them if I want to

No - I don't wanna lose

I got the Oreo Cream Sandwich (now watch out)

Chocolate covered cream filled cookie

build by Nabisco - aint no rookies

Next best thing to nookie blues

Lonnie Mack's ode to Oreos (abridged to meet the three sentence limit I've placed on myself)
j

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: beardedbruce
Date: 09 May 04 - 06:49 PM

ok, sonnets don't work... how about cookie recipes?

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 09 May 04 - 07:58 PM

OK - it's on the site, but:

Junk Food Junkie

Junk Food Junkie
(Larry Groce)

You know I love that organic cooking,
I always ask for more.
And they call me Mr. Natural,
On down to the health food store.

I only eat good sea salt.
White sugar don't touch my lips.
And my friends is always begging me to take them
On macro-biotic trips.

Yes they are...

But at night I take out my strong box
That I keep under lock and key.
And I take it off to my closet
Where nobody else can see.
I open that lid so slowly,
take a peek up North and South.
Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkee*
And I pop it in my mouth.

In the daytime I'm Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be.
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me.

Yes sir...

At lunch time you can always find me
At the whole earth vitamin bar.
Just sucking on my plain white yogurt
From my hand grown pottery jar.

And sipping little hand pressed cider
With a carrot stick for dessert.
And wiping my face in a natural way
On the sleeve of my peasant shirt.

Yes I do...

Ahh But when that clock strikes midnight
And I'm all by myself
I work that combination
On my secret hide-away shelf.

And I pull out some Fritos corn chips,
Dr. Pepper and an old Moon pie.*
I sit back in glorious expectation
Of a genuine junk food high.

(chorus)

Here we go now...

My friends on down at the commune,
Well they think I'm pretty neat.
I don't know nothing about arts and crafts,
But I give them all something to eat.

I was a friend to ol' Eul Gibbons
And I only eat home grown spice.
Got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn
Filled up with my brown rice.

Yes I do...

Now folks, lately I have been spotted
With a Big Mac on my breath.*
Stumbling to a Colonel Sanders
With a face as white a death.

I'm afraid some day they'll find me
Just stretched out on my bed
With a handful of Pringles potato chips
And a Ding Dong by my head.*
(chorus)

*Registered Trade Mark

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: GUEST,Noddy
Date: 09 May 04 - 08:32 PM

It's not over yet.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: beardedbruce
Date: 09 May 04 - 08:57 PM

it never is.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 09 May 04 - 09:02 PM

Not even when the thread was closed, was it over.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 May 04 - 09:05 PM

You just can't keep a good thread down.

Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 09 May 04 - 09:07 PM

500 Big Ones. Beam me up, Mr Scott.