What the worst song you ever heard !!!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 01 - 12:51 PM

I find Joan & Bob a pretty good combo most of the time.

- LH

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Midchuck
Date: 15 Aug 01 - 10:31 AM

The worst version of any song I ever heard is Joan Baez and Bob Dylan duetting on With God on their side on a Newport Folk Festival LP I've got. Talk about self parody. 10 out of 10 Bobby!!

Jock

I love that cut. I use it to torment my wife! She'll do anything to get me to stop playing it....

Peter.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 15 Aug 01 - 04:06 AM

Oh my god, Gloredhel, that sounds like the silliest song ever! There was an old pop one called "Tiddly Winky Woo" that's close by.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Gloredhel
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 07:26 PM

In my opinion, c(RAP) is not even music--rythm, maybe, but not music. My Way is pretty bad, but please excuse the inimitable Mr. Sinatra (sigh!)--his manager made him do it. He never liked the song. There is a terrible late-19th century song "Kutchy kutchy kutchy coo! Lovey me I lovey'oo. Does 'oo lovey lovey me, as I lovey lovey 'ee?" I only hope it was written by a four-year-old, and that no adult would put his name to it.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 05:28 PM

The worst version of any song I ever heard is Joan Baez and Bob Dylan duetting on With God on their side on a Newport Folk Festival LP I've got. Talk about self parody. 10 out of 10 Bobby!!

Jock

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 03:59 PM

Richlmo - I agree. c(RAP) is the absolute worst ever. Ugly sounding music by ugly-minded people with an ugly attitude promoted by an ugly industry.

No wonder rebellious teens love it.

- LH

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: rock chick
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 03:35 PM

My daughter saw the thread that I hated 99 Red Ballons... guess what???? well she down loaded it and has been playing it VERY VERY loadly when ever I'm around..... Don't you just love your kids!!!!!

She had also orderd it on CD......HELP!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,--seed (cookieless at home)
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 03:17 AM

For a while folks were contributing their favorite worst male dominance songs: The top of my list is "The Unknown Love" --and almost anything else sung by Kenny Rogers, from "Ruby" to "Coward of the County."

Spaw, my wife loves _Phantom of the Opera_ ; I didn't hear a single memorable tune or even musical phrase in the whole dreary mishmash.

But "It's a Small World After All" is the worst, most annoying piece of crap ever inflicted on unsuspecting audiences. If you've never heard it, stay the hell away from Disneyland, for the sake of your sanity.

--seed

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,genie
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 03:04 AM

Anything which the floorsinger introduces with the words "This is a song I wrote while I was doing my 'A' levels".

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 01:55 AM

As a connysewer of bad songs, I'd love to hear the compilation CD of some of these! I'd have to add "My Name Is Larry" to this list.

Chicken On A Raft, though, goes on my good song list. Funny it was mentioned, because at the July chantey sing in S.F., after it was sung there was a short debate on the meaning of it. I wrote Cyril Tawney in July and asked him what it meant. He responded with a very kind letter, including this explanation: "The title indeed refers to a particular dish we were served up, but it was a fried egg on fried bread. Toast was never part of any R.N. menu, probably due to the difficulties involved in keeping it both warm and palatable under mass-catering conditions."

-chanteyranger

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: ddw
Date: 13 Aug 01 - 11:19 PM

One I almost forgot (senior moments do have their uses) is that great siding salesman's anthem "My Way," done equally badly by Frank Sinatra and Elvis.

I had a friend who used to play in a piano bar in St. Catharines, Ont. who would run a patron out of the place for requesting it.

"Up On The Roof" and "Under The Boardwalk" rank pretty high on my kill-you-for-that list, too.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: richlmo
Date: 13 Aug 01 - 10:14 PM

Of all the Bad songs I have heard over the last 50 years, I don't think any of them compare to the c(RAP), as Justa Picker so aptly named it, that my 11 year old son listens to everyday! I actually took a CD away from him and broke it into pieces the other day, By some loser ( or losers ) named Uncle Cracker. Filth. As much torture as it is, I am in the process of listening to every one of his CDs from start to finish. How many BAD songs do you need for this thread?

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Firecat
Date: 13 Aug 01 - 08:47 PM

I've remembered another one. "Big Panty Woman" by the Barefoot Man was a UK hit in 1998. Every morning, I get forced to listen to a bit of Radio 2, but this song was released before I got my own stereo. Sarah Kennedy CANED the rubbish song. For those of you who aren't up to date with slang terminology, if somebody "canes" a record, it means that they play it over and over again ad nauseum!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: guinnesschik
Date: 13 Aug 01 - 08:32 PM

Has anyone listened to any filk? It's folk music written about sci-fi. I heard (at an open mic session) a song with major sci-fi novel and TV show titles from the 50's and 60's arranged as lyrics. Oh, the pain young William, the pain!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: rock chick
Date: 13 Aug 01 - 11:53 AM

Gee starting a thread like this really does remind you just how many crappy songs there are, I'd forgotton ! but it's great reading all the replies I haven't stopped laughing most of the afternoon, not that I should be working of course!

I HATE HATE HATE HATE.... 99 RED BALLONS by ????? it's so bad I can't even remeber who sung it, mind you my family love it..... I hid the record somewhere years ago from my hubby and the kids.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: RWilhelm
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 11:38 PM

"Is That All There Is?" Is Leiber and Stoller's existential cabaret masterpiece by recorded by the inimitable Peggy Lee. I disagree on that one.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kaleea
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 11:24 PM

While Shatner's "Lucy" is laughable, I truly hated "Is That All There Is?" & "In the Year 2525", but, by far the most horrible song I ever found (I passed up buying it) was in a sheet music sale in the music dept of my college. It was copyrighted in the early part of the 1900's and showed on the cover picture a frustrated woman attempting to complete her laundry day tasks as a man took off with some of her freshly washed & hung out laundry leaving the clothesline & clean laundry in the mud near her washtub. The title of the tin pan alley sounding atocity? "Daddy Took Our Last Clean Sheet & Joined the Ku Klux Klan." I was aghast at the title, but curious, and read the song which was, as I suspected, atrocious, yet an obvious attempt by some tin pan alley composer to satirize the goings on of the above mentioned group. None of the professors of music would fess up to donating the wretched thing to the sale.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,BEK
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 03:05 PM

I'm a masochist. I know it. I shouldn't have read this thread. Now, I have crappy music floating round in my head.

Oh, lessee....

Macarena Look what they've done to my song Rubber Ducky I'm awfully fond of you Anything by the Partridge Family Hold that 'D" Chord (or whatever that song is called) by Harry Chapin ARCH!

And sung, picked on instrument or nose--the worst performances: ANY RENDITION BY WILLIAM SHATNER

Hmmmmm....now what am I going to go listen to to wipe allthis crap out of my head?

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: gnomad
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 12:12 PM

For sheer slop can Rolf Harris's "Two Little Boys" have a rival? For pointlessness "Be kind to our web-footed friends". Honest frankie has a point about the anthems though.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,honestfrankie
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 10:54 AM

Worst songs? Most every national anthem that I understand the words to.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Midchuck
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 09:42 AM

I would cast one more vote for "Teddy Bear" (the Red Sovine one), if it can even be considered a song.

Justa, be ashamed! "Knights in White Satin" was redeemed from awfulness by Doc doing it. Anything Doc sings becomes a Good Song by virtue of his singing it. IMNOFBHI.

Kendall, re "Poppa, Don't Whip Little Benny," have you heard the Homer and Jethro version, "Momma, Don't Whup Little Buford?" Considerable improvement, I think.

"Momma, Don't Whup Little Buford,
Momma, don't pound on his head!
Momma, don't whup little Buford,
I wish you would shoot him instead...

"When Buford was five, he was smoking,
And drinkin' hard likker at six.
At seven, he learnt about wimmen,
At eight, Buford got his first fix!

Hmmm....maybe that's not so funny anymore. But it used to be.

Peter.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,genie
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 08:35 AM

Earl and Denise, Your "open mike" entries reminded me of the time I took the members of a Portland band called "The Pipsqueaks" from Portland to the Bay area (a ride share deal). They quickly used up all the batteries in my boom box playing one of their band's tapes at top volume. All the songs were highly forgettable, except for one of the repeated hook lines (the hook line?) in one of their creations, which went "she left me to suck another man's dick."

You reminded me that, as bad as many well-known songs are, there are tons of really awful ones that, for good reason, most people will never hear!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,Denise:^)
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 09:48 PM

Earl's open mike experience reminded me of an open mike I attended at the Ark. There I was, seated in the front row, center of the stage, and this college-age guy walks in and sings this song he'd written himself: 'The Squirrel Revolution.' He starts out kinda quiet, singing about how the squirrels used to be in charge of the earth, but then people came along...and then the head squirrel calls a meeting, and the squirrels vote to re-take-over the world, so they all climb into trees and drop acorns on everybody, but nobody notices, because the squirrels are too small...

Meanwhile, my friend and I are sitting right in front of him, waiting for the punchline. He is strumming more and more fiercely, singing louder and louder--and then the acorns are dropped, and he gets quiet again...and we both realize: HE'S NOT KIDDING!! We nearly strangled ourselves trying not to laugh in his face--he was so very earnest! After his set, we stumbled out to the parking lot, where we laughed until we cried. It was a great comedy number, but one of the worst sincere songs ever!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: rube1
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 06:19 PM

"Somebody Bring Me Some Water" by Melissa Ethridge. Yeah, she belts it out and plays pretty well, but that's just misdirection. What about the internal logic of the song? Ok, she's "burning alive" because "can't you see my baby's got another lover and I don't know how I'm gonna survive." So she's burning, metaphorically, (I get that) with jealousy, and what does she crave? Water. Nothing else will do. Metaphorical jealousy produces physical thirst for water. Anyone else ever been so jealous it made them thirsty for water? Me either. I used to think I had to be missing something, but that song is just wrong.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: harpgirl
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 05:54 PM

My current vote is "Because I Got High" by Afro Man. Nathan and I heard it on Hot 104.9 in Tallahassee! We did laugh a lot!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Lee Shore
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 05:50 PM

Much as I love a lot of old time country music, many of the songs are so maudlin and sappy that they should be labeled emetics. Several are present on the otherwise wonderful album Shall the Circle Be Unbroken, e.g. "Wreck on the Highway," and "Momma and Daddy are Dead." They almost sound like vicious parodies of country music. And who can forget "Footprints in the Snow" I know I keep trying.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: RWilhelm
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 05:26 PM

These are all terrible songs, many by artists that should have known better. The worst song I ever heard, though, was at an open mike. Written and sung by a kid about 20 it was a deadly serious song about Marvel Comics superheros. It had no chorus, no hooks, very few chord changes, I could not make sense of the verses, and it went on forever.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Firecat
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 05:00 PM

Was that "Hamster Dance" song the one by the Cuban boys, that's really called "Cognoscenti vs Intelligentsia?" or am I thinking of a different one?

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: DonMeixner
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 09:18 AM

M Ted, Did Noel Harrison record "Didn't We." I thought that was Richard Harris. Either way the song bites.

Don

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: fat B****rd
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 06:50 AM

I just remembered hearing a nauseating series of "Spoken" tunes in the vein of "What is a little girl" etc. Then there was "No Charge" !!!!!!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,genie
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 01:22 AM

What? Nobody nominated Paul Anka's "Havin' My Baby?" (Let me be the first.) Also, there was a song called "Joanna" or something like that by, I think, Cool & the Gang, with lyrics like: "Joanna, I love you, ... take her for a walk, make me feel fine, tell her that she's mine," and unimaginative rhymes and half rhymes ad nauseum. It made the "moon, June, spoon, croon," lyrics of the early 20th Century seem downright Shakespearean by comparison!

One more entry -- for bad lyric, not the whole song. Neil Diamond should be ashamed of "... songs she sang to me, songs she brang to me..., " from "Play Me."

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 12:52 AM

Here's a little piece of trivia about "The Hamster Dance"

It's actually a speeded up bit of one or two bars of a song found on Disneys animated "Robin Hood" that came out in the late 60's early 70's (starring a fox as Robin).

The whole film has English "country" peasants speaking like Americans from the deep south. And the music is basically the same idea.

They even have one piece that I am convinced is a Hollywood countrified version of "Jolly Beggarman".

"Oo da lolly", indeed... ;D

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 09:37 PM

Jeri-It took me a couple of minutes to get it, but I think your Guest horse joke was really funny, I was laughing aloud!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Justa Picker
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 09:33 PM

(I know guest. It was a feeble attempt at subtle humor.)

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 08:34 PM

That's "Nights In White Satin".

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 08:31 PM

Tell ya' JP.....The best rendition of "My Sharona" was done in "Next Movie" by Cheech Marin. He's driving along singing it and all the words )which no one understands to begin with) are reduced to: "Da-da-daa-de-da,da-de-da-de-da.....My scrotum. Da-da-daa-de-da, da-de-da-de-da....My scrotum."

Far better than the original.

Spaw

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Justa Picker
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 08:24 PM

Songs that make my skin crawl and create waking rigor mortis:

- Feelings (thanks for reminding me Celtic Soul)
- I Just Called To Say I Love You
- Wasted Days & Wasted Nights
- Bad Bad Leroy Brown
- My Sweet Lord
- My Sharona
- The Hampster Dance
- Dylan's Electric stuff
- Doc Watson singing "Knights In White Satin" (and any other bluegrass stars singing top 40 but performed in a bluegrass style)
- Saturday Night Fever Album as well as anything by KC and the Sunshine Band
- Anything by Neil Sedaka, Neil Diamond, Britanny Spears, Barry Manilow, Sinead O'Connor, Prince(ess), Boy George, Joe, Destiny's Child, and, the Spice Girls.

Oh. Forgot something.


Any (C)RAP!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 08:06 PM

Is no one going to nominate "Feelings"? OK, I will then.

My youth was tainted forever with this wretched piece of drivel. There was even a Gong show where *every* contestant sang the gawdawful thing!

:::twitch...twitch:::

I'll take "Chicken on a Raft" any day over this or anything by Jose Feliciano.

;D

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 07:58 PM

I never heard Frank S. sing "road to Mandalay", but I did hear him sing "Ole Man River". Some songs just can't be sung by white people.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: LR Mole
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 12:15 PM

Lee GREENwood was proud to be an American.Lee Hazelwood did those very spacy songs with Nancy Sinatra (Flowers...are the...things we grow...)(N'let me tell ya'bout Phaedra...) I think he has a cult following somewhere.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Firecat
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 07:21 AM

Ranger Steve, the second song you mentioned was "Don't You Want Me?" by the Human League (hit in about 1985/86, I think. I can't remember cos I was only 1 or 2!!!)

My nominations as WORST SONG EVER go to ....
Bob The Builder for both of his singles
Teletubbies for "Teletubbies say Eh Oh!"
Tweenies for any song that they've ever done!
Aqua for "Barbie Girl" and finally...
Spice Girls for "Wannabe"

And the winner is....(rustle of paper as she opens that gold envelope they always keep the results in)...TELETUBBIES FOR "TELETUBBIES SAY EH OH!"! Come on, Teletubbies, come and get your heads kicked in for making the worst record ever!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Lee Shore
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 03:48 AM

How'n hell could this list have gotten this long without anybody citing "Proud to be An American" by Lee Hazelwood?

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: kendall
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 09:12 PM

When a man LUV a woman.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: M.Ted
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 09:10 PM

Noel Harrison also did "Didn't We Girl?"--

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 08:33 PM

The theme from "A Man and A Woman". I believe it uses a whole four notes, over and over and over.

Blue Christmas. By Elvis or anyone else. It's too bad you can't shoot songs and kill them.

After mentioning "Cats", I turned on the TV and there it was on public TV. I watched for a while, and it doesn't improve with each watching. Spaw, DDW, Gloredhel, all I can say is Thanks for agreeing with me. I can't say it enough:"ALL THE SONGS FROM "CATS"

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,frankie
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 05:53 PM

Yes, Crocodile Rock has got to be near the top (or bottom) of the list but the all-time worst for me has got to be "The Windmills of Your Mind" performed by Noel Harrison. The thing popped up on my clock radio very early one morning and I broke a bone in my right hand trying to turn it off. frankie

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: M.Ted
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 05:24 PM

Frank's version of "The Road to Mandalay" *is* on of those things that embarrasses the listener--thanks for reminding us--

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 05:11 PM

Kim - I guess the reason I didn't like Hoss was because his counterparts in my High School football team were terrorizing me on a regular basis. That's probably it.

- LH

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Gloredhel
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 04:57 PM

A thousand thanks to David and RangerSteve for mentioning "Cats" and Andrew Lloyd Webber, whose music is so overrated it makes me sick.... But no one has mentioned "Danny Boy" yet. To anyone in America who is trying desperately to sing traditional Irish music, that song is the bane of their existence. After you sing it or hear it sung badly the first fifty or sixty times at the five St. Patrick's day celebrations you yearly attend (the two you're hired for, the two you're invited to, and the one you crash at 1 am ), not to mention a few funerals at which that part of the audience that wasn't previously in tears absolutely dissolves into sniffling at the first phrase, believe me, no matter how nice the melody, you never want to hear it mentioned again!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kim C
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 04:39 PM

Aw, how could you not love a big lug like Hoss??!?

When I was in the first grade, I had a 45 by the Paper Lace with Billy Don't Be a Hero on one side, and The Night Chicago Died on the other. My big brother took me down to the record shoppe to buy it for me.

My friend Jennifer and I won the 3rd grade PE dance contest with The Night Chicago Died. :-)