MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 20 - 11:24 PM

Chimps are eaten. It's called "bush meat" and it is found (usually) in small African villages. You can find more on the WWW, if you want to.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jan 20 - 06:15 AM

bush meat poses an ebola threat in our biggest cities but Idaho is bushmeat free.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jan 20 - 09:23 AM

Because of the link between bush meat and Ebola, I always buy my chimpanzee meat from Walmart, where it's guaranteed to have been produced in inhumane factory farms, but under Ebola-free conditions.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jan 20 - 05:22 PM

Idaho has: superior voting rights
but not an ERA ratification.
No bushmeat but screwy property taxes.
It has a Walmart but no fresh
crispy creme donuts
Black and white is seperate as in
black ice and white snow
When snow covers the ice, there are
awkward white rappers.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 20 - 11:14 PM

Things in Idaho ARE black and white. (Moscow is the home of the University of Idaho.)

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 20 - 07:57 AM

Krispy Kreme doughnuts are available fresh at the nearby Maverick gas station and convenience store.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jan 20 - 09:16 AM

Of course. But at Walmart they only sell discounted 2 week old KKdonuts where the crisp coating has liquified.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jan 20 - 10:18 AM

Krispy Kreme donuts are mediocrity personified. They aren't exactly horrible, but the donuts offered by almost any neighborhood bakery put them to shame.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jan 20 - 10:34 AM

With all due respect to Homer there are some angelic healthy donuts as bwl says.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 20 - 10:22 PM

We are fortunate to have two or three outstanding doughnut shops (those are higher-class than donut shops), but nobody makes Parker House rolls.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Jan 20 - 10:45 AM

Donuts were the discussion last week when my son was visiting from Seattle. It seems the donuts available up there are more like cake donuts, and he doesn't like Krispy Kreme; the ones he prefers are found all over this region, a light yeast donut that is mostly air but without the enhanced sugar formula of the KK variety. I see an investment opportunity in Seattle - donuts for relocated Texans.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Jan 20 - 11:49 AM

Hermaphrodite Doe nuts are an entirely different matter.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 20 - 05:54 PM

One shop here claims to use the original Spudnut recipe. I don't know if they do or not, but they make really good doughnuts.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jan 20 - 06:49 PM

Idaho should be famous for glazed donuts. After all, REAL glazed donuts are made with potato flour, not wheat flour.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jan 20 - 02:02 AM

Kolaches (a Czech pastry popular in Central Texas) have a similar dough to the doughnuts made down here - this may be more than just a coincidence.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Jan 20 - 04:27 PM

After all this talk of chimp brains and donuts I'm getting hungry.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 20 - 06:35 PM

There's a little shop in South Kinshasa that makes the best chimp-brain stuffed donuts! I understand that they take WWW orders and will ship, if you can find the URL. (It's said to be run by a Nigerian prince!)

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Jan 20 - 07:44 PM

For bushmeat the password is sausage

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 20 - 08:46 PM

QUARK!

QUARK!

Gluon! Dammit, stop humping my leg! Git down! Down!!!

QUARK!

Yes, I'm glad to see you too! Put that down!!! Don't eat that!!

QUARK!

STILLY!!! SOMEBODY!!!! Come git this duckdog!!!!

QUARK!

QUARK!

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jan 20 - 11:10 PM

Oh no, Mom! Gluon appears to be ill! According to the theory of quantum chromodynamics, he/she should always QUARK in vibrant living colors (Gluon seems to like red and green). If she/he is QUARKing in black and white there's something wrong!

I suspect it may have something to do with the kick in the rear he/she received after relieving herself/himself on the front wheel of the Galactic Overlord's Harley Davidson.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Jan 20 - 06:25 AM

After sniffing the tire, I suspect diabetes.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Jan 20 - 08:39 AM

New era quotes:

MEDIOCRATISTS UNITE you have nothing to lose but your brains!

Damn the Pompeo full greed ahead

I don't regret I have but one dime to give for my country

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 20 - 09:37 PM

Gluon's still hanging around, humping various things.

QUARK!! QUARK!!
QUARK!!

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Jan 20 - 06:53 AM

It certainly looks like Gluon is feeling better! He/she must have successfully removed the Galactic Overlord's boot from his/her cloaca.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 20 - 03:25 PM

In addition to being the anniversary of my parents’ wedding (an event of cosmic importance) January 15 is also the anniversary of this event.

Subject: RE: Goodbye Moon
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jan 20 - 04:33 PM

Goodbye Moon
behind the smoke
goodbye dog
I heard choke

Goodbye little kittens
goodbye florists
Warnings were written
about rain forests

Goodbye green trees
stiff and black
burn in the breeze
Goodbye science attack

Goodbye fair Oz
and a billion creatures
The stock market
is now Earth's best feature


DH 2020

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 20 - 08:49 AM

As I sit here looking out the window, long before the sunrise, it's really dark out there. It's obvious proof yet again of the truth of the Bradley-Curran Darkon Theory. How long will Science be blind to The Truth?

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Jan 20 - 10:48 AM

Lets hope science does not investigate the quantum notion that somtimes human beings pass between different quantum worlds to extend their life. There would be so much traffic between universes in the multiverse everyone's commute would be ******

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jan 20 - 12:29 PM

I'm reminded of the scene in the James Stewart film Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation in which the teenage son turns on a light in the dilapidated beach house the family has rented. The light is so dim that he says, "That's not a light! That's a dark! When you turn it on, the room gets darker!"

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 20 - 06:44 PM

I just killed a computer. Ripped out the hard drive, tore the RAM from its guts. Before I did that I formatted and deleted all over the HDD. Call me a killer, call me a electron-thirsty murderer. Now, before disposing of the corpse and the HDD (I'll keep the RAM and transplant it!) I'll do a physical wipe of the HDD propane torch!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jan 20 - 07:57 PM

Heck, all I do to dispose of old computers is bury them at an undisclosed location on my property. Okay, I may take out a few frustrations on them with axes, sledgehammers, or firearms first, but burying is the main thing. A four foot deep hole at a random spot somewhere on 7.5 acres of woodland and ain't nobody ever finding that sucker. At least, not while I'm alive. And if someone finds it after I'm dead, I don't care.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Jan 20 - 08:17 PM

BWL I have been known to quote that line from that movie myself, when encountering a really dim bulb. Come to think of it, the whole nation should be quoting that line, considering the dim bulbs in power the last three years.

I myself have culled a lot of old computer stuff this week. And though it would be nice to take it to Goodwill, I suspect most of it doesn't work, so instead I'll drop it off next week in an eWaste bin, saving Goodwill shoppers from buying then returning these funky computer speakers, etc.

There's a little snippet of Gluon here at my house, a few sloughed off molecules that add up to a small dog portion of a duckdog. She's a high-energy marauder and we're trying to reduce the energy level by having her spend less time (like overnight) in the kennel. It seems she reaches near critical mass by morning so when the door is opened she flies all over the house and yard like a ricochetting beebee.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Jan 20 - 09:43 PM

Hillary just used a hammer.

Correction: One does not actually extend their life by slipping into a different potentiality quantum wise. They simply are propeled into a future because they stepped into a vorticies surrounding a microscopic black hole of stopped time. Some unfortunate souls are lost forever (to us) but most just enter at a perfect tangent which allows for an expulsion into a new time line. While no time passes to the happless wanderer, confusion or psychosis can sometimes occur. In 6 billion years many have taken this strange journey without harmful consequences so don't worry, it is a rare event and probably won't happen to you. However real dangers arise when the vorticies grow up to a quarter mile sphere under ideal circumstances.

For the vast majority only seconds to hours are 'lost'. A few of the miniature black holes are tidally locked and are deliberately accessable. Most travel at various speeds or in subterrainean orbits one would never encounter.

So lifespans remain the same no matter how many jumps are innertaken/undertaken and overtaken. Sorry for the confusion.

If you encounter a nebulous ball of dark soft light, it is best left alone.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Jan 20 - 10:02 PM

Imagine if BWL has a nosey neighbor whose curiosity is piqued when he sees bwl carrying a sack with a rectagle out line and a shovel.
? hmm "whats in the bag, a dead cat or box of money!"
"its money" he thinks as he tracks you on his phone.

7 acres doesn't seem that big

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 20 - 09:36 AM

Or, in Bee-Dub's case, the neighbor thinks, "Hmmm...taking another body to the crocs in the pond. Aw, hell, who cares? They ain't from around here."

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Jan 20 - 11:05 AM

Overall 'not caring' is a more constant factor in decision making than greed, so Rap's scenario is more likely.
I don't care.

I bought a bunch of external hard drives at the 'Unique Gifts' jumk store. For a lark I took them to 'Things remembered' at the Mall and had them engraved 'Hillary Rodam Clinton 2012-2018' and tossed them about ROCK CREEK PARK.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Jan 20 - 02:33 PM

When I saw the polar ice cap melt I did't care
because I'm not a polar bear
When I saw the Amazon Forest burn I didn't care
because I'm not a tropical tree
When I saw Australia burn I didn't care
because I'm not a Kangaroo
When I saw gas regulations recinded I rejoiced
because I am a Republican heavily invested in oil
When food and water became scarce I didn't care
because I had invested in oil.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Jan 20 - 02:47 PM

When my grand children did not survive I did not care
because that left more food for those of us who lied
For I am the staunch I am the hardy I was wise

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jan 20 - 03:20 PM

My neighbors don't seem very concerned with my activities. They're usually busy chewing their cuds and depositing big smelly turds all over their pasture.

And that's the human ones. The cattle are another matter all together.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jan 20 - 07:42 AM

maybe this one deserves a rewrite:

When I saw the polar ice caps melt I did't care
because I am not a polar bear
When I saw the Amazon Forest burn I didn't care
because a stupid tree isn't rare
When I saw Australia burn I didn't care
because I'm not a god damn Kangaroo
I rejoice that clean air laws are removed
because I'm a Republican invested in black gold
When food and water became scarce I didn't care
because I had invested in the best thing sold.
When my grand children did not survive I cried
because that left more food for we who lied
I am hardy, presient, funny and wise
When all there is to eat is money
I will not regret I will not run
I still have my golden gun

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jan 20 - 07:52 AM

but I am out of
ammunition

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jan 20 - 08:52 AM

I dedicate this poem to my neighbor Rod Serling and his Irish Setters Randy and Rex. RIP

I suppose you don't know I have assembled hundreds of poems/lyrics on this site over 20 years. Now that they are all gone I remind you that Amos said I have the heart of a poet. He never said I had the mind or pen of a poet. :^/

now back to poopy pastures.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Jan 20 - 11:11 AM

Donuel, if you want to find those poems you can. It takes time, but they're all there, you just can't go to the entire thread at once. And there is the Mudcat Poetry Corner - didn't you post there as well? At least none of the MOAB poets are offering the maudlin pap that Walksabout Verse keeps sharing and re-sharing, living in the past and insisting on offering those backward-looking links. Amos put him in his place and and that pretty much took care of it, and you can tell Amos is gone now by the proliferation of bad poetry.

Back to the regular BS. Clever move on the hard drives, Donuel. Just so they don't cite Hillary for littering. . .

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: khandu
Date: 19 Jan 20 - 02:43 PM

I am not a guest, but I am aghast! I see fred has been mentioned recently on this thread. It has been a long standing unspoken understanding that the freds were no longer to be mentioned. Yet, there they are. Now, feral piiigs are certainly worthy of discussion. I myself ordered a flock of piiigs from Amazon. Unfortunately, I did not know the group name of piiigs. I thought they were called a "murder".

As a sad result, the Amazonians slaughtered a disturbing amount of innocent feral piiigs, thinking they were doing the King's will. In effect, I have been splattered with innocent blood.
Life has it's upsetting moments. The mention of freds and the murder of feral piiigs we're two of those upsetting moments and, amazingly, they occurred on the same day. Further investigation indicated they occurred the same hour (CST)!
This leaves me with a hanging head. I hate hanging heads. Therefore, I do only what I know to do...come to Mom and throw myself into her hopefully merciful and loving arms. That she may softly pat me and say, "There, there", or, perhaps, "Here, here".
I am aghast, with a hanging head to boot.

khandu

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jan 20 - 03:11 PM

I used to think Walkabout verse had the gall bladder of a poet.
After a time consuming ressurection I might find 3 out of a hundred worth posterity. Most were like fast food. Instant gratification followed by regret. I recall 'cracks in my life' was better than I deserved. They're all in the wind and difficult to catch long enough to write down.

"I love you in a place where there's no space and time" came to me 20 years before the song. Rap has some originals that should be published before the MOAB credo* passes into obscurity.

* In obscurum uteri omnius flatulem qui consummtio eternum.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jan 20 - 03:56 PM

Many of you don't know that BWL writes sit com for the Mom series.
Including him.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jan 20 - 05:36 PM

There are several collective nouns that can be used to describe a group of piiigs. You can call them a "flooock" or a "heeerd" or just about anything as long as the word has three sequential instances of the same vowel. I prefer "shiiitload" myself.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Jan 20 - 06:07 PM

Down here in Texas they're called "barbeeeque."

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jan 20 - 06:09 PM

By the way, I don't recall any edict about not mentioning freds. Perhaps I was out well on that day.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: GUEST, freds
Date: 19 Jan 20 - 07:31 PM

FROM: freds
TO: Khandu and similar putrid sorts

We have been elsewhen but were jerked back by a mention of us by someone called Khandu.

Like a genie, we must now do his, her, or its bidding.

What is your wish, Oh King?