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BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 14 Jun 07 - 12:33 AM You really have no shame at all, do you? No wonder you relate to Shane so strongly. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 14 Jun 07 - 09:05 AM LH, you got the Space Oddity number. I got a palindrome! Not as much fun as a pinwheel but still, I'll take my fun where I can get it. I was expecting 0087613-XD to |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 14 Jun 07 - 09:08 AM At the moment he, she, or it is enjoying a massage with warm stones. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 14 Jun 07 - 06:32 PM Well, darn. Someone left the door open and ol' 0087613-XD wandered off. You needn't worry about it. We'll find it, she, or he and finish the spa treatments. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 15 Jun 07 - 01:02 PM Run, IWTATBM! Run fast and far. Maybe you could wend your way to Blind River, Ontario. I understand they will take in just about anybody. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Jun 07 - 01:03 PM That's true. They will. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 15 Jun 07 - 01:22 PM We have Watchers there. We have Watchers at ALL border crossings: from the US into Canada, US to Mexico, US to Laos, US to Nepal, US to Ulan Bator, and all the major ones as well, like from the US to Rigel 6 or Barsoom or Tir na nOg. There is no escape! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 16 Jun 07 - 06:06 AM Seems I've outwitted Rapaire and his mob at the 'spa' as he calls it. Boy have i got a story for you all. First, the spa is locat |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 16 Jun 07 - 06:33 PM So close |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 17 Jun 07 - 07:57 AM Just a quick note before I return to my wonderful physical and psychological treatment sessions. Rapaire's staff (hope you enjoyed my humorous reference to them as 'mob' earlier - they all laughed at that when they found out) have been looking after me very well and giving me champagne and truffles during my therapy sessions. Seems I am learning fast; for example I have recently learned to type with my toes. I just wanted to let you all know that I am having sucH a good timE, that I may not be abLe to Post for a while, but don't worry as I am being treated very well, and not badly at all. Must go as I am being called away for a treatment designed to strengthen the weak muscles in my upper arms. Farewell old friends. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jun 07 - 11:09 AM Ah, yes. We have some special treatments ready which will help 0087613-XD recognize that running away from your problems isn't solving them. And to help solve 0087613-XD's myriad "hangups" we've created special therapies. They are very technical, but we have found that the application of strong electric shocks to the cerebral cortex, combined with gentle electrical stimulation of the muscles at the same time often leads to more socially acceptable behavior. No, Igor! Bad Igor! No knives! Back to your cage! Bad Igor! Bad! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 18 Jun 07 - 04:48 PM My, such ambiance. This really looks like the sort of place to clear the mind and revive the spirit. Unfortunately, my holiday is already booked this year. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: concertina ceol Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:21 PM not a hope.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jun 07 - 09:07 PM Heavens to Betsey! The spa is nothing like that! I'm certain you're just joking around, just trying to jump the queue to get in and enjoy the relaxing atmosphere, educational opportunities, and delicious food. Why, 0087613-XD spent the day in the sun, studying our little friends the ants! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 19 Jun 07 - 08:01 AM Still a long way to 85 billion. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 19 Jun 07 - 09:02 AM The longest journey starts with the first step. We have already taken 2,016. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 19 Jun 07 - 09:09 AM We also have dispatched some people to Blind River, Ontario so that "Shane" can be brought to the spa and enjoy all of its wonderful features. Attendants will also be sent to Mayo to bring "Shane" to the spa to he can enjoy all of its wonderful features as soon as they are re-motivated to go there. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 19 Jun 07 - 10:13 AM If you get the two "Shanes" together, be careful. It may result in achieving a critical mass, and causing an uncontrollable chain reaction. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 20 Jun 07 - 08:39 AM The group dispatched to Blind River seems to have disappeared. They were last seen entering a house belonging to someone named Tim Horton, where it was reported that "Shane" had been seen. Information would be appreciated. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 20 Jun 07 - 11:00 AM The may be something nefarious afoot. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 20 Jun 07 - 01:23 PM It looks like Artexis the Grey may have taken something away from his trip to Ontario after all. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 20 Jun 07 - 01:28 PM Rapaire, I think your operatives may have been found |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 20 Jun 07 - 03:03 PM Flippin' right, eh?! I spotted them flippin' idiots right off, hangin' around by the Tim Hortons. What a pare of loosers!!! LOL! I laffed and laffed when I seen 'em. No one is adductin' me no more. No one. Got that? I oustmarted the flippin' space alyens all by myself, eh? I did what flippin' NORAD can't even do! I am the Man. I rate bigtime. Every babe wishes she was mine. Every guy wishes he was me. - Shane |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 20 Jun 07 - 03:41 PM I don't wish I were you. I know what's going to happen to you when you are brought to The Spa. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 20 Jun 07 - 05:53 PM Yes sir...hot wraps, hot wax treatments, manicure, pedicure, some skin treatments, the removal of unneeded hair, a little exercise to loosen up those joints.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 20 Jun 07 - 06:22 PM No flippin' WAY, meat-fer-brains! No one lays a flippin' hand on me. I am on the flippin' alert at, like, all times. I was not flippin' born yesterday, eh? - Shane |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 20 Jun 07 - 07:13 PM No one WILL lay a hand on you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 21 Jun 07 - 08:58 AM Like, if I was n't going to be rich from the gold mine this winter I'd flippin' go home! The muskitoes are like flippin' HUGE! And it never gets dark. Sort of like dusk, but not dark, ya know? But if it gets hard to sleep I just drink some o f the hoochanew that this guy I take care of flippin' chikens for until I start at the gold mine makes. But lemme tell you that I really HATE flippin' chickens! Man, he must have thousan of them and I have to feed them and like, worse, clean up the flippin' chikenshit! True! I put it in a big hole in the groundc with a skoop shofel. But it's good praktis for workin' at the gold mine. -- Shane McBride (the real one) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 21 Jun 07 - 01:19 PM But (Northern) Shane, The Spa has the most wonderful manicure equipment. It elicits all sorts of oohs and aahs, I'm sure. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 22 Jun 07 - 09:26 AM The Spa also has aromatherapy and we will scrub you skin REALLY clean. So clean that you'll feel like you don't have any skin at all! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 22 Jun 07 - 01:47 PM The Spa has several highly trained skin care experts on staff. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 22 Jun 07 - 01:50 PM We have highly trained experts on every facet of Spa work. For example, you want pellegra humanorum, we can supply it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 22 Jun 07 - 01:59 PM Whatever your specific need, The Spa has trained professionals to assist you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Ike Date: 22 Jun 07 - 02:59 PM This here is Ike Tomson. I live up here in Mayo. Raise chickens, usually lose some during the winter of course. While back a guy shows up lookin' like a fool but he was down on his luck and the Corporal at the Mountie post asked me to give him a hand. So I took him on for bed an' feed and put him to shovelin' chickenshit. All he had to do was to us a scoop shovel to move the chickenshit from the floor under the chickens' perches to the manure tank outside the barn. Then every couple months a truck comes and sucks all the chickenshit out the manure tank and takes it away to be turned into fertilizer. Well anyway this morning this doofus is scoopin' the chickenshit when he slips on somethin' and slides right into the chickenshit tank, shovel and all. I come by and see him floatin' the in the chickenshit and pull him out and call the ambulance. I even give him artificial desperation like I was taught because I sure as hell ain't gonna give him no mouth-to-mouth. So they took him into town to the hospital and he ain't dead but we think his brain might be hurt from the immershun in the chickenshit. Right now the docs are tryin' to figure out how to tell. He talked about this innernet place a lot of times so I figured it was full of his freinds and so I thought I'd let you all know. I'm afraid I ain't gonna hire that boy back because if you can't scoop chickenshit I don't know what you can do. Your friend, Ike Tomson, A Chicken Farmer Mayo, YT |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 22 Jun 07 - 03:24 PM It is nice to see that (Northern) Shane is with people who care. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Jun 07 - 03:31 PM Oh, dear.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 22 Jun 07 - 03:41 PM better? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 23 Jun 07 - 03:22 PM It's not quite the same thing as drowning in beer, is it? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 23 Jun 07 - 09:34 PM Ha!!! So the idiot-boy flipfaced looser up north that thinks he is me nearly drownded in chicken shit, eh? DECENT! That is what happens to chickenshit loosers like him. Ha! Ha! Ha! - Shane (the real one) (not the flippin' imposeder) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 24 Jun 07 - 10:53 AM Just for that, "Shane," he probably won't share with you the money he makes working the gold mine this winter. Could be a lot, too -- that's an area from which they've taken a lot of gold over the years. Or -- and this just occured to me -- he could tell the Vatican where you are and that you're really the former Brother Crispin Fiacre, OCSO. Then the Vatican would tell Opus Dei operatives who would kidnap you, take you away to Spain for an Inquisition, and lock you away forever in a remote Trappist monastery where you'd live out your life on bread, water, silence, and chastity. Eventually you'd be buried in a monk's habit in the monastery cemetery, in an unmarked grave. And nobody would know what happened to you -- you'd just disappear. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 24 Jun 07 - 01:22 PM Man...you are one sick flipper! That is all I got to say. No one is gonna flippin' make me live on bread, water, silence, and flippin' CHASTITY! Jeezus FLIP! I would rather be flippin' dead, eh? - Shane |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 24 Jun 07 - 01:36 PM "Shane," I'm not kidding about that Opus Dei business. The Vatican is short on religious folks and...well, there have been rumors about Opus Dei for years. Things like assassinations, even. And the Vatican has people in every country of the world. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 24 Jun 07 - 03:35 PM Flip. You really think so? Geez. And there are Catholics in this town too. I know some. Flip me. This is the price I pay, eh? Just becoz I am one of those type of dudes that everyone admires and a legend in my own flippin' time it figgers that I might attract unwanted attenshun from powerful people like the Vatrican, don't it? This is what happens when word gets around. Flip. If only I was not such a totally cool and popular dude with the ladies I would not hafta worry about stuff like this. Well, I am gonna hafta be extra careful. That's the way I see it. - Shane |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 24 Jun 07 - 04:19 PM Just watch what you say about that dude Up North. He's the one who could stick it to you. 99.9% of the Catholics don't care, but if you piss him off enough he might, well, you know.... And remember, in the Rule of St. Benedict (which is used in all those monasteries) it is written about those who left and then returned: ...let a correction be applied to him, namely, proceed against him with corporal punishment. And they mean whipping, buddy. Flogging. On your bare back. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 25 Jun 07 - 09:10 AM I think you might be getting Shane excited, what with all this talk about whips and bare backs. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 25 Jun 07 - 12:00 PM Probably. The local sheep best watch out. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 28 Jun 07 - 12:31 PM I am leaving for points south in a couple of days and will have little, if any, opportunity to post while away. I will be gone for two weeks. Carry on. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 28 Jun 07 - 03:28 PM Don't we always? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 04 Jul 07 - 05:04 PM I return to you now reformed, deformed and more humble than I have ever returned humbly before. I am not sure if I have escaped again from The Spa or have been released unceremoniously. Either way the door was open, no one was around and I limped out. Kind Rapaire's staff have reshaped me into a more worthwhile human being and any pain was meant for my greater good. In fact if it hadn't have been for Rapair I might have become a despot. Here is my confession. It was a clear night in May and I was walking around Ambridge village green when I noticed a strange blue light over Lower Loxley. On approaching the source of the light I found myself being abducted by aliens who instructed me to identify my leader forthwith and not a moment later. Well the temptation was just too much. Not specifying which leader they wanted, I chose, for selfish reasons, my thread leader Shane. In a flash I saw in his departure a way of furthering my own thread ambitions. He was easy to point out on Google Earth for obvious reasons and despite what the aliens might have said they knew who they wanted and they knew where to find him. Of no further use to the aliens (I was a bit offended by this) they set me down in the village of Darrington, which is a whole lot scarier than aliens I don't mind telling you. My imposed leadership started well and I encountered little opposition. Unfortunately the first opposition I did encounter was enough and I was overthrown and taken for correction and improvement by Rapair's staff. I will speak no further of this. Rest assured fellow posters I hold no further ambitions relating to this thread and am now contented with my lot. I hope you will find it in your hearts to forgive me. Your old friend IWTATBM FFP |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jul 07 - 05:22 PM Holy shit! So it was you who got the aliens to kidnap Shane? What have you wrought??? Think of what this could mean to future intergalactic species relations... If they think that Shane is our "leader", what will they think about the rest of us? They might decide to euthanize the entire friggin' planet as an act of mercy!!! |
