BS: Resolutions for folk song characters

Subject: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Marion
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 03:38 AM

Hi gang. I thought this was funny: Resolutions for Evil Overlords

So... what resolutions should characters in folk songs make?

Here's a few to get started:

When walking by a river, I will not turn my back on my companion.

I will not volunteer nor consent to try to break up a log jam.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Morticia
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 07:36 AM

I will decline to break any ring or similar love token in half, irrespective of how long my intended is likely to be away

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 08:09 AM

Or alternatively - "When having a clear ouyt I will make a special effort not to thrown away any tokens, even if they look broken."

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: pixieofdoom
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 09:04 AM

If I am named William or Johnny I will not become a soldier

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Peter T.
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 09:22 AM

Our "Folksongs for Dummies" had many of these. However, a few more:

1. When someone asks about my lover far far away, and bears even the slightest resemblance to said lover, I will (a) check; (b) if there is the least suspicion that inquirer might be said lover, but before he/she gets a chance to reveal identity, I will lecture inquirer on the nature of bastard slime who taunt those who were left behind pining, and suggest that bastard slime deserve to be retroactively drowned at sea.

2. If I am in arms of best friend's wife, and am brought up before judge, I will inquire as to whereabouts of best friend during relevant time period.

3. If girlfriend is named Frankie, I will fix that loose transom, and also ensure with cash that bartender is onside.

4. I will never go on a ship where the rich refuse to 'sociate with the poor.

5. Going gaily in the saddle is a bad idea.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: curmudgeon
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 09:27 AM

Upon returning to port, I will abstain from drink and shun loose women.

I will not pawn my hard-weather gear.

I will not sign aboard a whaler.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Peter T.
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 09:35 AM

6. Just before going to bed at night, I will set out "blues traps", so as not to wake up in the morning with blues all around my bed.

7. If I ever go to Houston, I will walk right, I will not gamble, I will not fight.

8. I will never, never, drive a locomotive down the same track as another locomotive coming the other way, even if my own train is late, even if we have to make up time, even if it is old 97, I will not, not, not.

9. I will stay out of the pines. If, for some reason, I do in fact have to spend a night in the pines, I will wear warm clothes, take a flashlight, and bring a sandwich.

10. If I am a dragon, I will not get attached to one little boy, dragons live forever, there will be another of the ungrateful little bastards along before long.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: RangerSteve
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 09:46 AM

I will not be a railroad engineer.

I will not go to the station to see my girlfriend off on a train.

I will not be born or grow up near a railroad track.

If I were a woman and my lover asked me to go for a walk or a ride, I would ask him his intentions before we leave, and not when we get out in the middle of nowhere.

I will listen to what my mother says.

If I court the daughter of a wealthy man, I will not leave her and go out west to seek my fortune.

If I were young and handsome, I would not herd cattle during a thunderstorm. Especially if I had a mother at home waiting for my return.

I will burglar-proof my chicken coops.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: curmudgeon
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 10:27 AM

I must never steal an Earl's lady.

I will keep an eye out for blankets falling from window ledges.

I will never go around shooting dunghill cocks.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:01 AM

I will not leave my wife unattended when Gypsies are in the neighborhood.

I will not not get attached to any more old dogs.

I will not eat any stew or soup made from eels....unless she tries some first.

All cabin boys will be subject to full medical exam when signing on.

I will not go ashore to drink & carouse during shore leave. ...nawwww, I know I'll never keep that one anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: curmudgeon
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:06 AM

i will not eat eggs and marrowbone.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:34 AM

These are a crackup!!!

1. I will limit my response to gamblers' insults about my fiancee's picture to verbal remarks and will leave the table intead of getting violent.

2. I will manage my anger.

3. If a rival talks to my loved one down in a valley, I will ask her about it later. I will recognize that emotional and physical extremes will not restore lost friendships.

4. I will learn how to recognize the sort of person one cannot count on.

5. I will not come in to anyone's saloon while the games are going on.

6. I will leave those downtown women alone.

7. I will not go down to the bottom and never come up even if the river turns out to be whiskey. I will realize I am NOT a duck.

8. I will not lead a squad of pikes and scythes against a fully equipped division of the British Army.

9. If I am riding on the prairie and am accosted by three armed troopers, I will not choose to fight rather than surrender, realizing that even with a twenty year sentence I will be out in five on good behavior.

10. I will not get a .38 from a pawnshop no matter what my girlfriend says she wants.



A

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: CET
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:37 AM

Should the oversexed and lonely wife of a rich nobleman attempt to seduce me, I will not go home with her in public on a high holiday, on the very best day of the year.

In the unlikely event that said rich nobleman gives me one of his swords and invites me to strike the very first blow, I will damn well kill him.

Edmund

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Dave Swan
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:46 AM

I will not poach the stag, the doe, the hare, nor the lofty pheasant.

Before loosing an arrow I will make certain that my target is indeed a swan. I will not shoot aprons.

I will not drink on credit.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Leo Condie
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:57 AM

stop lending ears.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Jeri
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 12:07 PM

Never walk river banks
If there's a grave there, looking ready
For you know the odds don't look too good
Never court a fair ladye
If her family looks too shady
You'll likely wind up dead like in a ballad

In all the coffee houses down along main street
All the blood of the centuries comes gushing out in song
If it starts out 'come all ye', you know you'd better watch it
'Cause it's gonna get real messy and you know it won't be long

Sorry...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Marion
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 12:35 PM

Nice stuff, folks.

I will not attend a wedding in Glasgow town unless I have a formal written invitation.

I will consider all the possible implications of my cabin boy's graceful figure, smooth cheek, and bright countenance.

If I learn that the boy I love is in fact my father's illegitimate son, and that the only other person who knows is my father and he's anxious to keep it a secret, I will just go ahead and marry the lad. Who's going to know?

But when I am young, I will never wed an old man.

Marion

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 03:08 PM

And most emphatically I never will play the wild rover no more.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 03:34 PM

If he comes at me with a big jackknife, I will get out of the way rather than go at him with lead.

I will observe maximum speed recommendations on any roads on which I am an engineer, regardless of schedules. Saftety comes first.

I will not yelll "Fire! in a locked building.

When going strange countries for to see, I will communicate regularly to my loved ones at home so they will not feel they have lost me.

IF a captain offers me great rewards for sinking an enemy ship I will require he open an escrow before leaping overboard to fulfill my end of the bargain.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Mudlark
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 04:26 PM

If I live on the Carson Valley plain, and my name rhymes with yarrow, I'll eschew all horseback riding.

If I'm ever queen I'll make sure just who, exactly, it is I'm giving my confession to.

I'm never going to NY because the people there just treat you mean.

I'll keep the candle lit.

And stay away from the Butcher boy...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 05:07 PM

If my name is Vandemeer and I'm young, I'll go to grief counseling.

I'll go somewhere besides Louisville to find my fortune.

I think I'll skip going to St. James Infirmary.

I'm not going to mess around with anyone named "Nancy," especially if her last name is "Whisky."

I don't really care where all the flowers have gone.

I'm going to skip the mining stuff and go right to the clams.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 05:14 PM

I will never make myself emotionally dependent, especially on a woman, especially on a woman with a serving-man, and especially on a woman named Barbara.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 05:17 PM

It's carefull love for me from now on

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Amergin
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 05:22 PM

will never fall in love with anyone named Lily....

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: twag
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 06:26 PM

• No matter how much of the finest brandy, candy, pipes, tobacco, ladies or foley work is promised me; no matter what sartorial splendors are offered; no matter how many chief commanders I might view or sit with at tea---I will not go to Flanders.
  
  
• When the Captain is in the wardroom drinking gin, I do mind knocking, much less going in.
  
  
• I will not date or have intercourse of any stripe with women called by the following names--at least without seeing thorough background, medical, and psychological evaluations: Sal(ly), Betsy, Margery, Clementine, Elsie, Darcy, Ann(e)(ie), Flo, Eppie, Frankie, J(h)onnie, Tilly, Missy, Eglantine, Mary, Butterfly, Rainbow, Belle, Tinker Belle, Turandot, Mimi, Polly, Cleo, Catherine, Brunhilde, Persephone, Prosperpine, Brandy, Candy (or any confection), Franklin, Dandy, or Paul...(partial listing. A complete list may be drerived from the combined white pages of New York, London, Boston, Le Havre, Trinidad, Honolulu, and Hong Kong.).
  
  
• After leaving Liverpool, I will not think of thee, or any of the above names. I will not greive. I will drink rum.
  
  
• When personally addressed by bloodstains, harps, meat pies, fauna of any species other than homo sapiens, daggers, swords, flags or brick walls I will pointedly ignore them and proceed quickly to the nearest pub where I will tell my favorite sports/office anectdote(s) to anyone who'll listen. Normal, I will be Normal.
  
  
• I will not wish I was in Sherbrooke now...because I will never leave Sherbrooke. Certainly not on the strength of any promises from someone calling himself 'El Cid'. Look how the original of that name ended up: dead, stinking, and wired into his saddle under a hot Andalusian sun. American gold my a...foot. Feet.
  
  
• I will not walk alone by the seashore...or if I must I will wear earplugs and a Walkman playing a Chumbawamba CD at setting 11, and I will give all friendly sea mammals the cut direct.
  
  
• If they hang my Geordie in golden chains, I will certainly insist on taking the chains back with the body for a decent burial.
  
  
• Screw the hare and lofty pheasant. I'll stick to Spam and eggs. Even Fen Country gruel tastes better than the marsupial head cheese they serve convicts in Van Dieman's Land.
  
  

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 06:47 PM

Since the water is wide, I will not cross over. I will have a drink instead, and then I will sing some more. And then I will have a little lie-down.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Gareth
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 07:30 PM

I will not go down the dark dreary mine.

I will not take the foremans job.

If of English descent I will not drink from a bottle of Bitter Ale handed to me by a Welshman at Twickenham.

I will not drink in the Conservative Club at Crumlin.

And I'll never walk down Lime St., anymore.

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: harvey andrews
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 07:41 PM

I will not visit any house in New Orleans.
Particularly if I have to go by train.
I will not call darkness my friend again.
I will never eat parsley, sage, rosemary or thyme at Alice's place.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 07:52 PM

No matter how much Elsid Barrett cries, I'm not shipping on the Antelope.

Screw the grand city hall in New York! Let them get their own bricks and such truck!

I'm not marching anywhere with Arthur St. Clair.

Red-haired girls can go the Dingle Fair with someone else.

If I'm named Annie, I'm staying in tonight and not leaving my own pretty garret. And frankly, I'd rather have a parrot than a man.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: akenaton
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 07:59 PM

Never invite a redhead in black leather to get up behind...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Mudlark
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 12:16 AM

I will never let any lad steal my thyme.

I'll never sail on a ship called the Lily of Arkasnsas, or in any ship that has 4 and 20 sailor lads to box it about the main.

In fact, I'll go to sea no more.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bert
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 12:21 AM

If I was frog I'd leave that mouse alone no matter how cute she is.

I will not court a girl that lives on the other side of a river.

If I had a hammer I'd only use it when I needed to hit something and not go banging it around just because it's the morning, or the evening or whenever.

If I was a blind Grandmother I'd tie Eileen to the damned spinning wheel.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 12:34 AM

I promise to stay off the damn horse so I can see my mother in the Fall when the work's all done.

If I am little and named "Joe," I will stay at the back of the herd and let the other more experienced Wranglers turn the stampeding herd.

I promise not to bury you on the lonely prairie.

I shall mention Aunt Clara at every opportunity!

If I have found true love in the Red River Valley, I shall not go.

If my name is Charlie, I won't get on the MTA.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 03:19 AM

I will never let you begin. (See Tom Lehrer thread.)

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 03:46 AM

if I ever find a girl in san francisco and take her in my arms...well I'd want to see her in daylight first...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Dead Horse
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 05:34 AM

I shall stay indoors on May mornings.
I shall refrain from drinking cider out of the vat.
I shall not accept any shillings, even if offered by royalty.
I shall not tie flora, bits of trees or ribbons about my person.
I shall not employ Sid Kipper, in the unlikely event I should become a pharmacist.
I shall not attempt to drown felines, nor shall I carry their remains around with me.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 09:22 AM

I will no longer conduct seances in Laredo.
I will stay out of cantinas when I'm in El Paso.
I will eschew Galveston in hurricane season.
Come to think of it, I will stay completely away from both Texas and New Orleans.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: RangerSteve
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 10:11 AM

I will return to the old home before I get old, and before all my friends and family are dead.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Allan C.
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 11:20 AM

I'll not bother to date any woman whose mother sleeps with a dagger (silver or otherwise).
If I ever get back to Bimini, I'll avoid the rum.
It might be okay to marry an older woman; but there's no way in hell you'll ever catch me wearing a bunch of blue ribbons on my head!
I'll never be one to court too slow(ly).
I'll shoot no deputies (not that I ever did).

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Satan
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 11:47 AM

I hereby resolve to stay the HELL away from clever little kids, ugly, cantankerous old women and Texas!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Ely
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 07:00 PM

I'll keep my house securely locked at night lest I find myself the mother of some half-human, half-seal bastard.

I won't go out riding with my friend Utah amongst cattle with some stupid blanket flapping off the back of my saddle.

I won't get mixed up with boys named "Willie", I WON'T let them lead me over hills and valleys so deep, and I DEFINITELY will learn to distrust them before I'm so far out in the wilderness that there is nobody but the wild birds to hear my screams.

If I steal my older sister's boyfriend I won't go walking with her along the seashore.

If I'm the youngest of three children I won't let my siblings talk me into drawing straws, taking lots, etc. on ANYTHING. Come to think of it, no good ever comes to third children so if I were one, I should cut my losses and move far away right now.

I'll ride old Paints and not strawberry roans.

I never will walk by the Brazos no more.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 09:01 PM

I WILL play the Wild Rover.

(long as they keep stuffing money in the tip jar)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Aug 03 - 12:15 AM

I will rosin the Beau! **bg**

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: HuwG
Date: 18 Aug 03 - 12:41 AM

If I indulge in courting, I shall do it somewhere other than the kitchen.

No matter who invites me to the ball, you won't catch me spending six months learning the steps.

If I am handed anything warlike by a recruiting sergeant, be it musket, tin hat, or so much as a round badge for my hat, you will see a blur where I was standing. Thank you, I'd rather keep hold of all of my anatomy, and no doubt any loved ones would like me intact too. Disclaimer; does not apply if one's cousin is called Arthur McBride.

If going to a wake, ensure the centre of attention is really dead. (No, I meant proper medical checks, not a stake through the heart). Whisky is too expensive to waste.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Paul D
Date: 18 Aug 03 - 12:47 AM

I will stop all o' my ramblin' and roamin'. I will settle down, find a good career, and finish everything I've started (especially all of those words I got too lazy to finish writing, and just ended with an apostrophe).

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: georgeward
Date: 18 Aug 03 - 11:00 AM

If I ever get another job as an engineer, I ain't leavin' no damn monkey sittin' in the driver's seat.

"A broad letter, aye? And signed wi' the king's own hand ? Ye'll be lookin' for some ither seaman, laddie, walking the salt sea strand. Patrick Spens, aye? Never heard o' him."

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Joe_F
Date: 18 Aug 03 - 07:58 PM

I will never get an unmarried woman in trouble.
But if I do, I will not kill her.
But if I do kill her, I will be sure to kill the baby too.
But if I don't kill him, I will not inform him casually, when he is grown up and fully armed, that I killed his mother.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: LadyJean
Date: 18 Aug 03 - 08:10 PM

I will never kick a Lambkin. He might be a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Remembering my dear mother's rendition of "Bell Bottom Trousers", I will never trust a sailor far above the knee.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: IvanB
Date: 18 Aug 03 - 09:57 PM

I'll take no medical advice from any doctor in Wexford.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Amergin
Date: 18 Aug 03 - 10:00 PM

i'll not name any of my boys sue.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 02:01 AM

I will drink as much Johnny Jump Up as I like, even if I do reach 100 or 110, which, given the properties of JJU is highly unlikely.

I will not take girls called Maggie into the wood for any purpose.

I will buy a boat and a canoe before contemplating marriage.

I will not restrict my dancing to one particular religious holiday - I'll dance when and where I damned well please!

I will not let my love go walking through the dark fair on her own.

I will subject any prospective marriage partner to an extensive body search for the 'folorum dingdorum' and associated 'courage'.

I will confine my daily excercise to some star jumps and some press ups, indoors, during May.

If I do venture out in May, I will avoid all areas dedicated to agricultural pursuits, specifically, meadows of flowers, haymounds, newly or partially ploughed fields or anywhere that nightingales might nest.

If walking for excercise I will take with me powder, shot, spare ramrod and a book on the habits of native mammalian fauna.

I will ignore everything that lying bastard William tells me.

Similarly, I will not do everything my elder sister tells me to do.

Breastbones make lousy harps.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 02:21 AM

if i fall in love with a girl who crosses the ocean...i will follow her instead of remaining behind to pine for her in my whiskey glass, wondering about the ring I gave her.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: JennieG
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 03:22 AM

I will not indulge in any wilful grief for Jock of Hazledean. I will take the offered bribes and find another love, one who won't expect me to go over the border and awa' wi' him. I like it here.
Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 08:11 AM

When driving a train I'll obey the speed limits, make certain that the brakes work BEFORE leaving the station, and insure that the track ahead is clear.

I won't require more of the girl I left behind me than I'm willing to do myself.

I'll not spend a lot of time digging for gold before going back to laying bricks.

You know, I *will* lay under the junipers and watch the jugs a-fillin'. And I *will* use only hickory, ash, or oak.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: RangerSteve
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 10:10 AM

If the band starts playing a waltz named after a state, I'm taking my girl outside for a walk until they're through.

I'm not seeking my fortune in the city. Or out west. Or across the sea. Or up north. I will not work in the mines or pick crops. I will lay around the shack til the mail train comes back and roll in my sweet baby's arms.

I will not court or marry anyone named Nellie or Maggie, their life expectancy's are too short. For that matter, any girl that Stephen Foster writes about is out, with the exception of Nelly Bly.

I will not come home drunk night after night, at least not so drunk that I can't tell the difference between a man's head and a cabbage.

I am not kissing the cold lips of a dead person. Nor am I going to request that anyone kiss mine.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Willie-O
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 10:15 AM

If I need a shilling, I will borrow it or steal it from a coin collection or something. God help me I might even work for it. I will not accept it from anyone in a snappy red uniform.

Polly and I will go for counselling.

I will not stay late at Paddy Murphy's wake, and while I'm there I won't be associating with Kelly, his friends, O'Callaghan, Flinigan, Flanagan, or that dirty Andy Burke. O'Leary breaks out the bagpipes, I'm outta there.

I will maintain a healthy distance from cannonballs, roaring or otherwise.

And I'll NEVER EVER hit seventeen while playing against the dealer. I don't want to wind up on a tow boat again.

Just to be on the safe side, I will drop the last letter of my name.

Willie-O

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 10:21 AM

I will not trifle with the King's deer; or at least not in such a way as to get caught.

If someone persuades my mother to make a soldier out of me and tries to make me wear a weird hat, I will simply slip away from home in the middle of the night.

I will not roam around the streets at night and break the laws of Man.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Willie-O
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 10:33 AM

And oh yeah, if I have a dream foretelling my death in battle, I will be sleeping in the next day.

And if Pretty Peggy taunts me to go out and face four hundred armed brigands to get my kye back, I will ignore her and write a braid letter to my Farmers Co-Oppe Insurance Companye instead.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 11:15 AM

I will check my pistols for water before use.

I will not go on holiday with those 6 men from Dorset again.

I will not entice beautiful young men home until I am sure that little sneak of a pageboy is off bending his legs somewhere else.

I will not visit any former lover, no matter how much they call for me or how sick they are.

I will always know the whereabouts of my Willy.

Should my Willy disappear, he gets 12 months max, then I'm outta here!

I will learn another trade other than weaving, four loom or otherwise.

I will keep my glass eye securely fixed at all times.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,ClaireBear
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 12:13 PM

Should I ever be required to don men's clothing and sail awa' on the same vessel on which my fiance has been pressed and shipped away, I shall:

1. Find a more secure way of fastening my jacket than those silver buttons. Note to self: would Velcro hold in a stiff wind?

2. Just in case, wear an undershirt.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 01:29 PM

I resolve to take all nessessary precautions and to judiciously follow all Canadian Coastguard safety regulations when operating or otherwise engaged in activity upon the deck of a seagoing vessel.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 01:35 PM

"Just in case, wear an undershirt."

wind, on the ocean, often involves water. Just what those sailors need, a wet tee-shirt contest!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Morticia
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 01:51 PM

I propose that, should my intended turn into a variety of beasts,I shall go and find a nice chartered accountant somewhere.

Should I succumb to the urge to slaughter my new born babe, I will then have the good sense not to go offering all manner of blandishments to some other small person.

No matter how vexed in the matter of love I become, I will leave laurel leaves to the colour nature intended them to be

The bold Irish lad will at all times get the rough edge of my tongue and possibly a punch up the bracket irrespective of what he may say regarding sun rises.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 02:04 PM

Despite me not having any job in Jacksboro, Crego will have to hire someone else to hunt the damned old buffalo.

If the Divil takes me wife (the bane and torment of me life) down to hell, I won't take her back even if she's chucked out agin!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Gareth
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 02:55 PM

I will not allow my attention to be diverted by the Rolling Hills, when I should have been checking the repairs to the joints
on the steam brake valve.

I will marry her before I go

I will keep duplicate records of the gas in the Dennis.

White Lillys do not substitute for a widows pension.

I will not agree to work one last shift before marriage at High Blantyre, Senghenydd, Ty Mawr, Cilfynydd, or any other pit that you may name.

And I most definatley will not wear moleskin breeks and a durty shirt.

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 02:58 PM

Should I ever take a wife, I will not only get a warranty deed, but I'll insist that she be thoroughly checked for wooden legs, glass eyes, wigs, and so on.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,ClaireBear
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 03:02 PM

In addition to staying out of the pines as abovementioned, I will henceforth eschew willow copses -- nothing good ever seems to come of being in close proximity toa willow tree.

Or a holly tree, for that matter, so I'd best avoid those.

Or a rose garden . . .

In fact, come to think of it, given the unpleasant associations attached to most European and eastern American tree and shrub species, I think I better move to the northern California foothills (where a majority of the plant life is unique to the area) and surround myself with coyote bush, madrone trees, manzanita bushes and poison oak -- no one ever writes folk songs about those.

Wait -- I already live there.

Well then, I'll just go no more a-rovin' so late into the night, and I should be OK.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 03:10 PM

i will be careful to check for listening sneaks when I tell the landlords daughter I will come to her by moonlight.

also if i go to see for seven long years leaving a lovely maiden behind...i will not return expedcted that she was faithful to me...for I know that I sure wasn't.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: pixieofdoom
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 04:01 PM

If my true love decides to marry someone else, I will not follow him to the church, nor will I dig myself a grave. I will instead key his merc

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: PageOfCups
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 06:51 PM

I will go to medical school, study hard, and find a cure for "the fever," thereby ensuring my fortune upon graduation.

I will not steal Trevelyan's corn.

I will not lie to landladies regarding my financial status. Instead I'll just buy their damned alehouses lock, stock, and barrel(s).

When dating large-footed miner's daughters, I will insist they wear properly USCG-certified flotation devices when near bodies of water. Alternatively, I will learn to swim.

I will wait for the unicorns, going after them with lassos if necessary. (I will also kick mosquitos and tarantulas off the ark so they can have the honor of becoming mythological beasts.)

PoC

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 07:57 PM

Upon first glimpse of a newly dug grave in an unusual location I will run like hell.

If I hear anything that could conceivably be interpreted as signaling the approach of the man I an cuckolding, I will run like hell.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 01:40 AM

I will refrain from conversation with any stone or concrete structure, particularly if white and cross shaped.

Should I ever be invited into the home of a fetching young lady with blue eyes and a pleasant singing voice, I will not spend all night just listening to her sing.

I will vet my daughters' reading material and hide any pots of black paint. I will not keep chickens.

Should anyone court me wearing a hat decked with primroses, I will immediately get any promise in writing, or have a third person present at all times.

Should anyone court me wearing a hat decked with primroses, I will recommend a good miliner and go out with the farmer instead.

I will require a test of paternity before babysitting.

Silver does not make good sails.

When I get my Mercedes Benz, I will not offer a lift to any of my so-called friends.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,MBS Lynne
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 02:57 AM

I WILL go to the old Dun Cow and wait for it to catch fire.......

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 08:27 AM

Ta hell with cockles and mussels, shoals of herring, running the rigging, stabbing huge marine mammals from small boats, being icebound in the Arctic, and such-like things. I'm rollin' down to Old Maui, attending the University of Hawaii, getting a degree in Accounting, and going to work for the Internal Revenue Service.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: RangerSteve
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 09:42 AM

Simple Rule: city folks don't do well out west, westerners and southerners don't do well in the city, especially northern cities. Northerners don't do well in the far north. Irish and Jewish immigrants don't do well in the States. No one does well at sea, or in a war (you die or your girlfriend back home dies).

All folk song characters should learn the song "Back in Your Own Backyard" and STAY THERE.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Midchuck
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 10:11 AM

Willie-O: True story:

20+ years ago, my daughter was 10 or so, and my son was 5 or so.

They had been playing quietly with cards in the living room, and my son seemed grumpy. I realized that my daughter had just taught him Blackjack, and was winning all his stock of pennies in the process of teaching him the fine points. My son, as a child, was freakishly gifted in the area of numbers and math, but this was new to him.

So I said, "Let's have some music!" and got out the Ian and Sylvia record that they first recorded Summer Wages on, and put the needle on that cut.

On the first line, my sun pricks up his ears, and you can see him running the numbers in his head. Daughter glares at me, yells "DADDEEEE!!"

No more pennies. In later years, Son made pocket money driving down to Foxwoods with MIT fraternity brothers to play Blackjack.

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: The Walrus
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 01:58 PM

When preparing for an 'assignation' with a 'lass young and pretty of fair London City' in an 'inn where we'll not be known' I will carry only as much money as I am prepared to lose and a supply of condoms (and arrange a visit to the GU clinic at the earliest opportunity).

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 03:46 PM

Midchuck...what a neat story!...I always say I hang out with folkies 'cause they have a song for every occasion!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: greg stephens
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 03:48 PM

If a young lady tries to get into bed with me because she is scared of the foggy dew, I will ask her to sit quietly on my bedside chair till she has composed herself, and then to go home.
    If I get a chance to escape from a chaingang,I will do so quietly and surreptitiously,and not send my hammer to the captain accompanied by needlessly inflammatory messages.
   I will try hard not to get any parts of my body caught in a mole-catchers trap.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,amergin
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 03:56 PM

if i board a ship and the band starts playing waltzing matilda, I'll immediately disembark.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: greg stephens
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 03:56 PM

Annd if I get an invitation to MacCarthy's party, I will say I have a prior engagement.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Les B.
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 04:27 PM

I will not let anyone named Ford sleep in my bed or eat of my bread.

I will keep the parrot cage covered should I venture out.

I won't drive any trains with the number nine in their name.

I won't go anywhere near Columbus, Georgia.

If I'm hauling a load of corn, I won't take my dog to town.

I will eschew long-necked bottles.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 04:32 PM

i feel no need to prove my manhood, so i absolutely refuse to take my guns to town.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,ClaireBear
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 05:30 PM

I will only go to Lodi once.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Mickee
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 06:13 PM

I will not take my Red Yo-Yo to school

I will not sell my fiddle, for if I should sell my fiddle the world would think I was mad

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Seaking
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 02:22 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 02:26 PM

If they're going to hang me, I'll be damned if I'll play a tune and dance around below the gallows tree. In fact, I think that I'll bust the fiddle over the hangman's head and beat feet for out of town.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Seaking
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 02:29 PM

I shall indulge no more fantasies of becoming a whistling singing blackbird

nor following my true love's vessel,

even if my nest is onboard...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 05:08 PM

If I make it out of town after shooting a gal's boyfriend, you betch boots I am NOT coming back no matter how much I miss her.


She'll just have to get used to it.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,MBSLynne
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 05:33 PM

If I ever have another penny, I shall definitely have another gill.

And if any young man stands beneath my window begging me to let him in because he's cold/it's snowing/raining etc, I won't do it.........but then again.........

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Noreen
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 05:59 PM

I will not take up any form of employment in Rosemary Lane, no matter how generous the guests (but if I do, I'll wear a winceyette nightie).

I will not lean my back against a sturdy oak.

When moving through the fair I'll be aware of who's watching me, and get him to buy me a candy floss and win me a teddy bear.

I will avoid shady groves.

I will not wrap my white apron around me when walking out at dusk (I suppose it would be ok to do so when roving out on a May morning).

I'll get my love to buy his own coat of steel- have you seen how little you get for second-hand rocks, reels and spinning wheels these days?

By the banks of the Bann, the banks of Cairnie (to watch the small fishes glide) or Blackwaterside, I shall keep my head down and keep walking.

I will not push the jug around with Sally and friends... or maybe I will :0)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Ely
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 08:22 PM

I won't ride my bonnie Black Bess, Molly, nor any other fine horse until she drops.

I WON'T pawn that gold watch and chain.

I'll stop dancing all night with a bottle in my hand (oh, man--that sounds like a BAD idea).

I won't play any more cards in England, Spain, Texas, Maine, etc.

I won't drink and I won't smoke, I'll stay away from the greasy coat . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Amergin
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 02:05 AM

If I sail on a boat...and she sinks because of the drunken louts at the helm....she can bloody well stay under water...i'll be damned if I will risk my neck diving after her.

if I find a sweet flower i'll be careful when putting my hand into the bush...lest she prick me to the bone.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: greg stephens
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 02:21 AM

If British soldiers come to my dreary cell and ask me to turn informer or they'll kill me, I will lie on the floor snivelling, and tell them the names of my brave companions and any other things they wish to know, in the hope of getting off with a few years hard labour.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: MBSLynne
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 03:23 AM

I shall not go near Hull and Halifax and Hell

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: HuwG
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 04:09 AM

If an Unemployment Office says they'll "send me through" to a job in the middle of nowhere, I will research the local fauna before taking up the offer.

I shall consider carefully before undertaking any activity which may end in my being sent to Van Diemen's Land. [Said activity may include, but is not limited to, taking a walk with a pretty young maid to whom I have not been formally introduced. Truly the road to hell is paved with improper intentions.]

I will write my will and testament before embarking upon a life of crime. Disposing of effects in haste while mounting the gallows may lead to omissions and inequities, due to the pressing circumstances.

If anybody asks the reason why I am wearing a green willow around my hat, I shall tell them I have escaped from a lunatic asylum. It will save time.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: HelenR
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 08:16 AM

If my true love visits me in the middle of the night with white cheeks, I'll assume the worst.

If my true love visits me in the middle night, seven years after his death, I'll seek a psychiatric assessment.

I won't walk by the river with any handsome young man, or anywhere sandy, or shady, or lonely.

No cuckoo's nest before marriage. And no cuckoo's nest at all for soldier's - they're probably already married.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 09:33 AM

If General Pakenham asks me to march towards the mighty Mississipp' , I'll stand well clear of the 'gators.
If I see Staggerlee, I'll compliment him on his hat & keep well clear.
I'll be polite to Mrs Floyd.
I'll keep sharp implements away from Tom Dooley.
If I ever get to Houston, I'll avoid bars and quarrels.
I won't ride any train with 16 or 21 coaches.
I'll walk right on past that House of the Rising Sun.
RtS
(but that'd leave me with nothing to sing about...oh, NOW I get it...)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: PageOfCups
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 02:10 PM

If my new toy goes "zip" when it moves, "bop" when it stops, and "whirr" when it stands still, I will return it to Toys-R-Us for a refund.

If I have the urge to store my bottled beer on the wall, I will install a guard rail around the shelf to avoid falling bottles.

If I am employed stacking bananas and the boss-man insists I work past dawn, I will report him to the state labor board and organize a boycott of the company.

If I am named John Joseph Jingleheimer Smith, I will change it before an epidemic ensues.

If the green grass starts growing all around all around, I will move.

I will not sail Lake Superior when the gales of November come early.

When a Creole girl at Lake Ponchartrain leads me on then tells me she plans to be faithful to her far-off boyfriend, I will steal her mother's silver, pawn it, and buy a train ticket back home.

If I discover that I'm living next door to a little Dutch butcher, I will make sure to keep all of my pets indoors at all times.

If I am a little Dutch butcher, and my wife is prone to sleepwalking, I will not operate crank-driven machinery at night.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Sorcha
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 04:05 PM

I will carry out the garbage before Thanksgiving Day.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: SharonA
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 04:55 PM

When engaging in a contest of hammering speed with a steam drill, I will bring along nitroglycerine tablets and ensure before start of contest that at least 20 people in the audience know CPR.

I will not walk by or along the banks of the Ohio with ANYBODY.

If my name is Johnson, I will at the very least learn to tolerate the presence of a yellow cat on my property, if not actually attempt to befriend the beast.

When taking a trip on a sailing ship, I will not make a stop in Jamaica, lest I leave somebody in Kingston Town.

If I marry a man named Leeds and become pregnant, I will stay out of New Jersey and away from pine trees in general.

Before going to sleep, I will ask anyone who happens to be in the same bed or room to awaken me immediately if I show any signs of dreaming that I'm talking to a deceased union organizer who insists he never died.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: PageOfCups
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 05:10 PM

If I observe a senior citizen swallowing an insect, I will rush her immediately to the nearest emergency room.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 06:23 PM

I will refuse all offers of employment in Bungaree.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Lanfranc
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 07:42 PM

I will not attempt to entice impressionable young Northumbrian ladies to release me from my prison.

Neither will I pledge to marry a Turkish girl, even after seven years have passed.

If I hear the pipes calling, I'll just phone the plumber.

Were I to witness a woman being stabbed, I would go to her aid.

If my brother went to Japan, I'd let him go alone.

Were I the servant in a Somerset household and fancied the master's daughter, I'd make sure that her brothers didn't get to hear of it.

Alan

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Gordon (guest ) Cutty Wren F.C.
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 05:26 PM

I will not tell a woman with a penknife that my wife is worth ten of her.

I must stop abducting underage females with the intention to lie them next to the wall.

When I am next wounded in battle I will not seek out some hard-to-get medic in the Lake District.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: LadyJean
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 11:21 PM

I will twine with my mingles of henna dyed hair, all the roses so red and the lillies so fair. Though nobody has ever accused me of being a frail wildwood flower.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 12:00 AM

I will simply greet Col. Farrow with a kind word if we should meet on Gilgarra Mt.

I will stop wondering where all the damn flowers have gone.

I will not believe them when they tell me, "We'll cruise the seas for American gold. We'll fire no guns and shed no tears."

I will care (very deeply) if Jimmy should crack corn.

I will no longer frequent the Old Dun Cow, nor will I hang out with Brown any longer.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Amergin
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 08:56 PM

i will never go back to a pub where there is no beer....

if i get a hundred in the backyard at mums i will not go around bragging about it...for who cares?

and why the hell would i want to go to someplace called shady groves? isn't that in kentucky where the all the men are known as uncle dad?

also...i don't care if you tie me kangaroo down sport....i'll just shoot and barbie the bugger...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Deckman
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 11:05 PM

When next I ride my donkey, toward the faire at Dingle, I will NOT, repeat NOT, pick up any red haired wimmen! CHEERS, Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 06:21 PM

I will check the location of all overalls before eating chowder at Mrs Murphy's place.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Micca
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 07:15 AM

Should I need to go to Wapping I will buy a Travelcard and take the DLR to Canary Wharf, Thus avoiding Ratcliffe Highway completely, and in passing avoiding Limehouse even if the girls are smart as a freshly painted figurehead.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: DMcG
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 08:12 AM

When looking for a fine place to play, I will avoid haystacks.

If I leave school on Friday, I'll have Saturday off for relaxation, thank you.

If asked by a Prince, I'll weep. It saves no end of trouble.

No matter how ugly Alison is, I'll take her gifts. That saves trouble as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Gareth
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:30 AM

Should I matriculate, I will go straight to the train and not dally with an atractive barperson.

I will not climb up statues, particullay 'Venus'

Out of self presevation will go absent rather than play against Llaneli.

And will most certainly go looking for Badgers !!!!

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Charley Noble
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:51 AM

If the dog falls in the cider vat and drowns, I will wait a suitable interval, filter and bottle the resulting brew BEFORE inviting my friends and neighbors in for a drink.

Of course, there still might be a little hair of the dog left...

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 03:01 PM

I will not kiss red coated gentlemen under any parasitic plant, real or plastic.

I will allow the hoofed animal with the scarlet proboscis to join in the games and loan the aforementioned red coated gentleman my biggest torch.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Charley Noble
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 03:30 PM

Liz-

LOL! But it took my wife's wit to decode your resolution.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: SarahNash
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 03:46 PM

I will not accept the glass of wine offered to me by my boyfriend, when I *know* he's angry with me for dancing with another man all night.

I will not rove out to eavesdrop on my friends'/acquaintances'/total strangers' lovers' tiffs.

And I will definitely NOT run off to a nunnery when my boyfriend gets killed in battle!!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 03:50 PM

I will be pleased to resist the attempts of the white steed, although the dapple grey speaks so highly of him...

I promise to endeavor always to respect God's wishes as I whittle with my little pen knife...

I am now and forever always aware that killing milk white hinds before they appear to royalty just makes good sense...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Joybell
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 06:16 PM

1. If I had a wayward son I would never visit him in jail bearing only a smile. Come to think of it I would realise that I drove him to crime by smiling silently at him all his life.

2. I will most definitely not go away shearing with you Willie to wait on you hand and foot - especially in regard to washing your dirty moleskins. Ramstack mutton doesn't sound much chop either.

3. If a lady dressed in green, whose garden my ball had just landed in, were to offer me my ball back, an apple, a cherry, and a gay (or otherwise), gold ring, I would immediatly disown the ball and run away very, very fast.

4. If Johnny went to the fair without me, and promised to buy me off with a bunch of blue (or any other coloured) ribbons AND was late home I would question our relationship.

5. If the Bathroom/toilet/dunny/loo door was locked from the inside for days and days I would know that there were three old ladies in there and not be wondering about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 06:33 PM

If I were a large red coated gentleman who works his butt off just one day a year, I won't be climbing any roofs, just leave a window open for me.

And I'm gonna be checking my information considerably more than twice. Some of those little bastards are dead sneaky.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Joybell
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 07:59 PM

1. If someone says, "Children go where I send thee?" don't ever ask "How shall I send thee?" because it opens you up to a whole evening of answers and you'll never get away.

2. Speaking of questions - when a strange little man, or a knight, meets you on the road and asks silly questions - be brave and assertive! Any silly answer will do.

3. More about questions - if your son or anyone else turns up covered in blood asking him veiled questions like, "why does your sword sae drip with blood?" wastes a lot of time. Just out with the accusations. Unless you think he's dangeruos to you, in which case just don't ask.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Micca
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 08:42 PM

If you know your love by his way of walking and talking the answer to the "if he leaves you" question is , I would suggest "Celebrate"

If a bunch of Cornishmen come calling for their friend let them have him.

If your boy plays the harp and wants to borrow his fathers sword, Dont give it to him, lock him in the cellar until its all over.

Take care when calling cattle in estuarial regions of Cheshire, keep your eye on the state of the tide, especially in a westerly wind.

If your parents are moving house make sure you write down the new address and have a map and street guide handy.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Charley Noble
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 08:59 PM

If I see a fair maid wandering up and down on the shore, I'm just going to sail on by.

If I'm rolling down the street in Sailortown and see a thread hanging out the window, I'm gonna give it one hell of a yank.

If I'm rolling down the street and come across Shanghai Brown, I'll politely say, "Good Day" and roll on me way.

If I come across a drunken sailor, I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to do other then check all his pockets and see if there's any money left.

If I'm rolling down to old Maui, I'll make sure I paint them beaches red.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Marion
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 03:35 AM

I will keep my concern over what is said of me in fair England in reasonable perspective, and will not offer anyone the opportunity to strike me with my own sword.

If King Wenceslas proposes a social call to a miserable peasant's hut a good league hence, on a night when the frost is cruel, and carrying a load of pine logs, I will deny knowledge of where the peasant lives.

If the ship I work on sinks, and its owners point out that the loss is fully covered by insurance and that it had twenty years of wear and tear and financial depreciation anyway, I will acknowledge the good sense in what they say.

I will touch Suzanne's perfect body with more than just my mind.

I will tell my former true love just what he can do with his cambric shirt without a seam or fine needlework.

If in the course of lowering a barrel of bricks I am struck and injured repeatedly by the barrel, by the pulley, by falling bricks, and by the ground, I will not write to my employer asking him to excuse my absence. The letter my employer receives will be from my attorney.

I will not break things off with a friend just because he got a little crazy once and tried to touch the sun.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Marion
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 03:41 AM

If I am walking through a cherry orchard with St. Joseph and he makes some snide remark about my baby's paternity, I will divorce him. I'm the friggin' Blessed Virgin Mary, Queen of Galilee! I don't have to put up with that kind of crap!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 04:03 AM

Look, those three ships - who gives a sh*t who is in them or what day it is?!

If I'm sitting in a field, minding my own business, which just happens to be sheep, I ain't gonna go running round the country on the word of a wierd looking bloke in a dress. I'm gonna be going straight to my doc and ask him about the hallucination chorus!

Should my two companions suggest I take some presents to a small child half a world away, I'm not going to be the one carrying the gold.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Morticia
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 07:15 AM

Just fix the bloody bucket,Henry, okay?

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: The Barden of England
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 07:51 AM

1) I will never serve drinks to 3 maidens from the Isle of Wight without them paying for them first.
2) If I get to a wide river, then I'll catch a ferry and not wait for somebody to build me a boat.
3) I'm not going to lean bck on any trees, as the bend and break too often
4) I'm not going to change my name to 'John Barleycorn' - it's too bloody dangerous.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:38 AM

If I'm traveling under the name of Jack Duggan and troopers named Kelly, Davis and Fitzroy step up, I'll go quietly and hope for a fair trial.

Okay, okay, I'll TIE your bloody kangaroo down!

I might have been everywhere, but I'm avoiding Llangof..Llangokl...Wales.

Forget it, Captain. Your daughter ain't worth the swim, and I lost my little boring-tool in a card game.

Next Christmas I'll be waiting on the rooftop, shotgun in hand, and if that reindoor crap ain't cleaned up, I'm gonna have me some venison.

Next time I play "jolly old St. Nicholas" I'm not leaning my ear any damned way. Little anklebiter spit in it this year.

I'll mind my OWN arms and ammunition, thank you!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Joybell
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:01 PM

If I wake up one morning to the sound of something moving past my window in the wind I WILL be concerned. I'll assume you are a stalker and phone the cops. Take your nets of wonder somewhere else there are no butterflies in here! - bright, elusive or of the love kind. Footsteps running through an open window? That's just too silly.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Micca
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:11 PM

OK , Michael, You win, I'll get a new outboard, or by the time we get there they will have a bridge across the Jordan!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Roughyed
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:34 PM

I will not stick knives in any part of young infants

I will leave the Blacksmiths good billycock strictly alone

I will leave my true love to an untroubled night's sleep and will not go calling at her window

I will seek another cure for my leprosy that does not involve infantile vampirism

I will wait till S

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Roughyed
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:38 PM

Sorry I sent that a little prematurely..

I will wait till Sunday and then inspect her birth certificate to ensure that she is indeed seventeen years of age.

I will avoid barley fields at all costs

I will not go rooting around bushes on Leatherhead Common or riding off to inns and will mind my own business

I will leave the poor White Hare to roam the fields of Oldham, Howden or wherever it may be found

I will not get caught rebelling against famine or crown.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:49 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:54 PM

Hardi swears there shall be no more hunting on Sundays by any member of our household.

As for me, I will get good sturdy shoes from LL Bean before following any gourds, anywhere. Also, when next asked, "Sister, don't you want to go there?", I will answer promptly in the affirmative.

From now on, any windows we smash will be replaced with Plexi.

I will check Expedia before setting out for Lindisfarne/Lisdoonvarna.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Joybell
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 07:07 PM

I will come in your kitchen (Heh! Heh!), keep my skillet good and greasy, keep my damper down, and put my buns in the oven (hadn't thought of a better place to cook them anyway)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Gareth
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 07:10 PM

I will not be satisfied with a tall ship, and a star to steer her by.
I will insist on a proper corrected compass, echo sounder, and GPS !

45 fathoms, and a white sandy bottom will not fix my position - I'll want a tide corrected "ping", three radio bearings with a good cut, and a full weather synopsis before squaring the main yard. This will enable me to give the Dodman, Rame Head, Portland, The Wight, and the Owers good clearence. I will fix again before attempting to mix it with the ferries between Beachy, Dungeness and the South Foreland. A definitely working echo sounder before going inside of the Goodwins to the North Forland via the Gull Passage and most certainly not trust upon wearing ship and a visual on the Light, 'Cos the North Foreland Light aint there any more.

And without a pilot I will not take a square rigger past the Longnose, inside Margate Hook, and across the Copras, Whitstable Street, and 4 Fathoms Channel to the Nore.

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 12:42 AM

I don't know - Barden of England - you should have some nice fancy garb now...

... but HOW will I fix it, Morticia, Morticia ...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 04:26 AM

Just buy another bloody bucket!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Micca
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 05:56 AM

For Foolestroupe.....Use Gaffer/Duct tape, Henry!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 07:50 AM

... but WHERE do I get the money to buy the new bucket/duct tape? ...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 07:55 AM

... and I'm not looking for a travelling companion ...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Marion
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 01:19 AM

refresh - any of you folk song characters out there make any new year's resolutions?

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: DMcG
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 03:25 AM

When I catch 'em in my molecatchers trap, I will take due account of inflation and the market rate before asking for ten pounds as compensation.

I will, on the other hand, no longer complain about butter at a shilling a pound or a half-penny a loaf.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 09:11 AM

If daughter says "Don't go in the lion cage tonight!" I think I'll go shopping at the mall instead.

I will at least empathize with "The Downtrodden Landlord" until those irresponsible tenants upstairs are evicted.

I will swear off "eggs and marrow bones" and "yellar eels" for another year.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 12:16 PM

The NEXT time I go into that town where the boys kick my dog around, he will be a Pit Bull.

I'm going to sue that geneological site which refuses to input my information that proves I'm my own GrandPa.....(well, I have to admit, it DID crash the program)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 01:11 PM

If I never had but one sweetheart, and in greenwood she is lain, I'm damned if I'll sit and weep all on her grave for a twelve month and an day.   Much less kiss her. There's other sweethearts to be had.

If I'm walking down the street and see a string hanging out a girl's window, I'll be sure to pull the ole string.

If I'm rich, and a beggar begs the crumbs that fell from my table, I'll be sure to have them swept up and presented to him with a low bow.

When riding along the Cimarron, having lost my job upon the Santa Fee because of some trouble with the boss, if I ask some cowboys for the loan of a horse and it's granted, I'll not ride him if he's dun-colored.

If I ain't got the do-re-mi, I'll go back to beautiful Texas. Or maybe Alabama. Tennessee??   T' hell with California!

When I'm about to be affianced to a rich farmer's daughter called Beautiful Kate, who has a large fortune of jewels and rings and five thousand pounds and other fine things, I won't accept a grey mare into the dowry even should papa offer to throw it in as pourboire!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 01:29 PM

If there ain't no more cane on the Brazos, I'll leave and start over.

I'm not going to wait around until she comes 'round the mountain, or for the wagon either.

The next time I see my rival, I won't have a dagger in my hand. I'll stay back a hundred meters and nail him with a .30-06.

I'm going to break up with Lady Mondegreen.

I'll tell the next person who asks exactly what I saw at Killiecrankie!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 03:28 PM

Ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 04:54 PM

(Susan...I sang that for years as "ain't gonna greet my Lord no more...guess I'd better break up with Lady Mondegreen, also) (always thought it sounded a little odd, but the nuances of theology always did escape me.)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: *Laura*
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 06:08 PM

I will stay indoors all through May

I will be wary of soldiers and sitting on their knees (although I'm not sure it's their knees you have to watch out for)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: *Laura*
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 06:14 PM

and I'll make sure no prospective partners are called william or johnny/nancy or nelly (delete as applicable :-) )

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 06:20 PM

I sang that for years as "ain't gonna greet my Lord no more...

Splains a lot! :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: jaze
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 06:53 PM

When buying a round for the gang, I definitely won't forget Barbara!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 07:11 PM

Should I decide to rejoin the ranks of the British Army, I shall not indulge in barter or second hand trade, and I will check my sergeant for cloven hoofed feet, small horns or a pointy tail.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: jaze
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 07:31 PM

If she gets on that morning train, I definitely will marry someone else.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Songster Bob
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:02 PM

I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.

Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:07 PM

Ain't gonna drink with no fireship wearing a black velvet band, no sir!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 12:51 PM

I will not hire Long Lankin's girlfriend as my Home Help.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 01:33 PM

I'll pay Paddy Doyle for his boots if he'll turn down his f***ing stereo.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 02:29 PM

Old Elcid Barrett can cry in the streets all he wants to. I'll stay at home in bed with the serving wench.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 02:36 PM

God bless them all!
I don't care
I'll stay with the lass with the raven hair
I'll fire no guns
Shed no tears
I'll laugh and shag and drink strong beer
Then take a piss off the Halifax pier

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 07:32 PM

There's gotta be more to that Cluin!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 07:35 PM

There's lots more to that Cluin. He's a complex character, he is.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 06:19 PM

Should we find ourselves under an unstable building in future, I will warn Joshua against playing bum-notes on his horn.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 09:49 PM

Very nice, Cluin!

CN

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 12:36 PM

If the Jewish gentleman comes complaining here again, I shall have serious thoughts about having his head chopped off.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 03:25 PM

I will, never again, pick a robin, or any other kind of bird, clean!!

(what Geeshie Wylie told me to tell you all)

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 03:43 PM

I will never send a lady, no matter how foxy she is, out on a chilly night while we are praying for the moon to bring her light 'cause nobody can ever tell how many miles she'd have to go before she reaches the town-O, town-O...

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 06:30 PM

I don't CARE who killed Cock Robin, nor do I particularly wish to know about the funeral arrangements!

I will not stop at three sons, I will aim for at least eight so the youngest will not be burdened with a destiny!

Any young man coming down in a Creel to me will be met with a blazing fire at the bottom!

I will not go abroard for pleasure, I prefer to confine forign trips to buisness meetings only.

I will listen to my mother, especially when she gives me advice about love.

I do not like to rise when the sun she rises!

I will get an ISA to ensure that I have enough money to remain the fair flower of Northumberland no matter how many handsom young Scots I cross the border with.

Crystal and Bunnahabhain

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: coldjam
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 06:51 PM

*written with a braille keyboard* I will never(again) be enticed to to go "sleepy" in any field or meadow infested with birds and butterflys no matter how many pretty little horses are promised!

If I ever get my hand on a dollar again, I'm going straight away to the casino with it, and place it on 37 black.

I am not going to lock my heart in a box of golden- too hard for the paramedics to get into.

I will never again have a lover who is a logger-they leave you out in the cold.

I will not dress in anything long, black or veilish and walk the hills,black make me look "haggard",and besides I have better things to do.

I will never get a yellow cat, an old blue dog, or hold a snake to my bosom-too messy and I'm allergic.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Joybell
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 07:02 PM

When I meet a kind lady sitting behind the desk who says she is going to assess me for Altzheimers, I will know her for what she is! A being from the Otherworld! When she says, "Who is the prime minister?" I'll say, "You go plough me an acre of land with a ram's horn!! Then I'll tell you". Joy

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 09:49 PM

Folks, just an aside. A previous post reminded me that Cock Robin's real name was Penis Rabinowitz. (For what it's worth.)

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Cluin
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 01:07 PM

I resolve to have a better attitude in future with respect to how Jimmy treats his corn.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 10:52 PM

If I intend to murder a woman on the first date, I will not let a misplaced notion of gallantry cause me to turn my back on her.

--

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]



||: He knew what's what, and that's as high :||

||: As metaphysic wit can fly.               :||

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 11:04 PM

Silver daggers are made of soft metal and bend easily. I'll use a steel one.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,DMcG
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 08:28 AM

Before sailing, I will pay more attetion to weather forecasts (even from people rabbiting on about old moons and new moons)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: HuwG
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:29 PM

If a woman working in a topless place bends down to tie my shoelaces, I might well feel uneasy. However, I will not draw attention to myself by staring at the side of her face.

Mama, don't let them elect or appoint me to anything to do with law enforcement.

What are you on, my blue-eyed son ?
What have you been smoking, my darling young one ?

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bert
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 07:51 PM

If I ever catch an old she crab, I won't keep her in the charlie pot.

Next time I'm in Jerusalem I'll steer clear of the harlots.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 09:07 PM

I won't stick knives in babies' heads.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Auggie
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 09:25 PM

I won't get above my raisin'.

I won't think twice, even if it's alright.

But I thought those footsteps went through an open meadow (as opposed to what? a meadow full of trees?)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: chris nightbird childs
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 09:29 PM

Gypsy Davey resolves to settle down once and for all..............

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 09:42 PM

I might be cold and drunk, but I can afford a ticket on a jet plane!

If I ever see that Jacky Paper kid I'm gonna whack him one for cruelty to dragons!

The next time I dive on the Mary Ellen Carter or any other sunken ship I want a hyperbaric chamber on the dive boat.

I don't care what he promises me, I ain't a-drillin' no holes in the enemy's ship. You got cannons, so use 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bert
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 10:41 PM

And if I ever catch a queer looking worm, I'll chop the bloody thing up BEFORE it has a chance to grow big.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 11:19 PM

If my baby sends me a train ticket, I won't head into town for one last round.

I'm going to pick myself up a pair of good rubber-soled work boots (the antithesis of slippery city shoes) right away, in case I end up working on the towboats again, since I can't really promise not to hit on 17 no matter who's dealing.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bert
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 11:38 PM

And if you're a vicar, don't get into a bell ringing contest with your curate.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 12:27 PM

Don't be female!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Mongrel
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 03:01 PM

On the grounds that you can get in a lot of trouble for killing and eating the ducks in York, I will always be sure to wear a nice warm hat when I go courting on the moors.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Weasel Books
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 10:29 PM

I will never play the drums for anyone named Napper or Vamp.

When my friends blow the horn to warn me, I will not pay any heed to the woman who lies in my arms tonight, but will get the hell outta there.

I will not tell Jenny where I got the money from.

I will not take the word of any dodgy types I meet on mountains high that they are not brought up in Venus's Train.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 10:32 PM

I will play the Wild Rover once more

(If they tip generously)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Weasel Books
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 10:34 PM

I will let no one in, no matter HOW cold or rainy the night is.

If I am called Pat Reilly I will shut up and stop whining.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 10:40 PM

Damn! I already said that last one.

Oh well, consider it a refrain.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 12 Jan 05 - 09:23 AM

If I date an O'Reilly girl I'll count her dad's eyes first.

The workers' compensation insurance is killing me, so I'm not hiring any more wranglers named "Little Joe."

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 12 Jan 05 - 09:38 AM

Guess what the O in my name stands for!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 12 Jan 05 - 11:39 AM

If I raise my true love from the dead, I will not kiss him or her unless I want to die too.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 12 Jan 05 - 12:17 PM

Rapair said:

If I date an O'Reilly girl I'll count her dad's eyes first.

Really? Count his eyes? Or something else?

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 05 - 12:21 PM

JennyO, I always thought that the "O" stood for "Outstanding."

Dave, I'll let you check out the rest of his anatomy.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Jan 05 - 08:31 PM

Well yes, Rapaire. That too :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 05:47 AM

199

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 05:49 AM

Oh all right. 200

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 09:29 AM

See your 200 and raise you 201

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Nobody
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 09:07 PM

Well, if my name is Naomi I will stay away from John Lewis, no matter WHAT he promises me.

And if I am the youngest of two sisters, my father prefers me, and my sister is jealous, I will steer clear of water.

And I will tell the devil to tie up my wife before he takes her down to hell because that way she can't kick the demons around.

And if I am on a ship named the Golden Vanity, I will be very careful and talk to the messmates first.

And, if I am a fair maid about seventeen, who must 'list in the navy for to serve the queen...I'll get some fake warts or something to that no one will fall in love with me!

And...if my name is Janet I will tell my father that I really can't talk right now, and then escape through the window or something before he makes me take off my dress.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 10:25 PM

Next time I'll listen to my mother who don't want me to roam and avoid all future skirmishes with Amerindians.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 10:44 PM

I will not try to defeat the onward march of technology by out-performing machinery, out-calculating computers, out-communicating cellphones or any other way,

If I mess around with a girl such as Nelly Bly I will NOT do it in a neighborhood where I will be recognized.

If I find that the games are going on in Duncan's saloon, I'll let it ride for another time, or talk to him about it after I have had some rest.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 05:22 AM

nobody is taking me by the hand and taking to meet all the big issue sellers in trafalgar square

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Mr Fox
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 06:43 AM

Wring the parrot's neck before eloping with myserious pointy-eared characters.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: MickyMan
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 06:21 PM

I will never allow my daughters to walk together anywhere, especially if they get near a gully, a well, or a millstream.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Acorn4
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 07:56 PM

I'll make an appointment with Specsavers before going out trying to shoot swans again, or even take up the melodeon instead!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Jack Campin
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 08:00 PM

If I'm in charge of security at the school those two brothers go to I'm installing metal detectors.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 08:43 PM

If the man I love goes off on a white horse to see the world and doesn't ask me to come along, fuck him, I'll find someone else better.


A