Seeking Travel Companion

Subject: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,gadabout
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:05 AM

Help me Catters...Wanted: Nonencumbered straight (but very liberal) female travel companion. Non smoker, social drinker, caucasian, 35-55, attractive, weight according to height, current passport, educated, bi-lingual English-French (preferred), EXTROVERT!, comfortable in any social setting (usabashed), complete physical mandatory, extensive background check WILL be performed by an agency NO criminal record. Excellent salary, all expenses (medical, travel, accomodations, etc), wardrobe furnished, free time, world travel, free to leave my company at any time you feel this is not for you. Any catters out there fit the bill or do you know the right person? I am a caucasian man, 60 years old, perfect health, most original teeth, money no object, have worked long enough, am ready to strike out and enjoy the entire world with the right person. The adventure begins about mid-April until...who knows, minimum of two years or maybe a lifetime. Let me hear from you. I am advertising in Major newspapers also.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: reggie miles
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:10 AM

Hmm, this is starting to sound like one of those reality tv shows.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:13 AM

Sounds like a real catch girls.

There once was a man who searched the whole world over looking for the perfect woman. He found her too, but it didn't work out. She was looking for the perfect man.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Mickey191
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:50 AM

If I lose 40 pounds by April........



Good Luck-Hope you find her- Mystery Man

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:50 AM

But he's not a musician! It would never work out with any Catters I know! But we should invite the fella to drop in at all Mudcat Gatherings during the term of his arrangement, and (the lady can) tell us how it's going. We can write songs all about it.

Or he could Mud-Auction himself off....

~S~

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Mickey191
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 12:09 PM

I once answered an ad posted by a lady same age and background. It was Dutch with one exception-she would pay the rental on a luxury car. We met a few times & discussed all contingencies-it was to be 7 days in Nova Scotia and we'd share the driving. She seemed pleasant & amicable.

She turned into a penny pinching, pushy, loud mouthed harridan. I almost threw her into the Bay of Fundy. I insisted on cutting the trip short (5 days). She wouldn't take the wheel for the trip back home.I was never so glad to get safely home - without having committed a serious felony.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,gadabout
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 12:55 PM

Forgot to mention my musical background. I have gathered some great guitars in my time. I have a "The Grammer Guitar", mid-60's, a 1975 Martin D35, a 1999 Guild D40, and my favorite, a 1975 Guild D50. I have had the pleasure of meeting Gordon Lightfoot and his former guitarist, Red Shea (listen closely to Miguel and If You Could Read My Mind, best finger picking ever), Tom Paxton, Tom Rush, Joni Mitchell, Judy Collins, Richard and Mimi Farina (Children of Darkness), Ian and Sylvia Tyson, Jerry Jeff Walker (listen closely to My Old Man and Little Bird, David Bromberg does some nice work). Thanks for reminding me 'cause my companion will hear this kind of music along with everything else we hear during our travels. I play a two finger and thumb picking style and played with a great group of wannabes back in the 60's and 70's (Saturday night coffee houses and a few college gigs)(lots of Peter, Paul and Mary and some stuff from the above greats). My greatest night was our group playing a set at Vanderbilt University in Tennessee where we opened for PP&M (Bill Lee played bass) in 1966. Thanks again, I intended to discuss this area of my life along along with a few quirks (yes, QUIRKS) that I have in later interviews with prospective companions.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 01:11 PM

Yikes! You might want to get a second opinion on this one, girls...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,aunty artemis
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 01:43 PM

If you are paying a salary, what are the work requirements? Some might be illegal in such an arrangement. Why would you have to pay a salary anyway? Aren't the terms attractive enough that an unencumbered female would freely go along? Will you submit to an extensive background check and a complete physical in return? How about an MMPI?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,aunty artemis
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 01:45 PM

...I don't like Guild guitars...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 01:49 PM

Because this may involve a sex change, i would appreciate more details.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 01:52 PM

LOL! Good one, brucie...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: open mike
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 02:57 PM

what company?! what is the nature of the "work" involved?
and what about the wardrobe? is there some sort of uniform
or costume here? (bunny suit?!)where would the travelling
be?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: JenEllen
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 03:27 PM

I'm still in tears laughing about "most original teeth"....Just what does THAT entail? How do YOU know they'll be the most original teeth she'll have ever seen? She might have traveled before, you know...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 03:40 PM

Hey, Little Hawk,

I hope you are having and continue to have a great Christmas. I have enjoyed your posts, very much, both the fartin' around and the somewhat more serious stuff. It's strange meeting people on the internet, but it is easy to recognize kindred spirits and fine people. I wish you well for the season, and I hope you have a wonderful, healthy and successful 2004. Be good, buddy.

Bruce Murdoch

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: NicoleC
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 03:44 PM

Wanted: Nonencumbered childless straight (but very liberal) will sleep with anyone of the opposite sex and probably the same sex, too, it doesn't matter as long as it includes me female travel companion wink, wink. Non smoker, social drinker, caucasian, 35-55 younger than me, attractive astonishingly beautiful, weight according to height although I'm not any of those things, current passport because somehow even though this trip isn't leaving until April, it's important that you not have to bother to apply and wait 3 weeks, educated,it doesn't matter if a similar "companion" arrangement put you through college bi-lingual English-French (preferred), EXTROVERT!, comfortable in any social setting (usabashed), because I'm not and I want someone to make it easier for me in social settings complete physical mandatory you're a slut, but somehow you've escaped any consequences, extensive background check WILL be performed by an agency NO criminal record. no, no, YOU get checked, not ME Excellent salary, all expenses (medical, travel, accomodations, etc), wardrobe furnished of my choice, free time, world travel, free to leave my company at any time you feel this is not for you. Wanna bet your life on it, ladies?

These "ads" can be found in every major newspaper in the world. One wonders if anyone is answering, and when they are, who's more disappointed in the results.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,gadabout
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 04:17 PM

JenEllen, thanks for pointing out my error...should read MOST OF MY ORIGINAL TEETH (a pitiful attempt at humor), lost a few but implants took care of that.
brucie and auntie artemis, sounds like you two are trapped in the wrong body. Perhaps you should trade each other your personal equiptment.
NicoleC...don't be concerned, stay on the porch, your comments ruled you out. Since this offer will be worth $200,000.00 and more per year to the lady that I select, I will set all the ground rules and my demands will be met. And I WILL find just the right person. When I settle on the right person, EVERYTHING will be discussed and agreed upon before final papers and waivers are drawn and signed. Perhaps I made a mistake in posting this offer here. I thought Catters were a sophisticated lot...am I wrong?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 04:34 PM

We are indeed sophisticated. We are also above average in the IQ dept.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 04:43 PM

God no, Gadabout! We are so sophisticated here that we squeak. If Mr Chongo were only a female (and human...) I would pass your incredibly generous offer on to him right away. He is willing to work for bananas, and he does a great job...but hey...$200,000 can buy a lotta bananas, right? Oh, and he's got ALL his original teeth.

Your version sounds pretty plausible to me, Nicole...just about the way I would have read it. Still, this could be that once-in-a-lifetime chance that every girl dreams of! Did I mention I have a large bridge to sell...cheap?

Got any jamming with Bob Dylan anecdotes, Gadabout?

Brucie - Good wishes going your way too, pal. If you have some free time check out the Chongo Chimp thread for a few more chuckles...

- LH

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 04:44 PM

So, the 'right person' for you is driven more by money than feelings, has given up hope on ever finding lasting true romantic love, and is basicly an escort puppet and screen for your lost dreams and youth... hmmmmmm... Wow! What a self image you must have!

Don't you have an appointment with your mirror or sumpin'?

Seems to me, that you could do much better in both departments, and then... you might have a chance at actual happiness...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,Diva
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 04:46 PM

What Kendall said!!!!!!!!!! Oh yes I nearly forgot, most of us women don't do for the controling type. Well I suppose I won't be picked then. Shame

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: mg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 04:59 PM

pick me pick me. And I will do it most of it anyway for $30,000 or so. And most of my clothes come from Lands end on sale so I am not too expensive in that department. I'm not too controlling but grab me fast, so to speak, because I will be 56 in July...mg

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:05 PM

I'm beginning to wonder...is this another not-so-subtle attempt to qualify for "funniest threads on Mudcat"? I give it about a 5.

- LH

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,Diva
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:11 PM

Ohh forgot to add....thrawn,overweight, undertall,stroppy Scotswoman,doesn't like being told what to do,sings a bit but finds guitars boring after about five minutes. Fits within age range specifications and can speak French but struggles with English. Nope,its not going to work....

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:14 PM

Look, I think someone has spiked Rick Fielding's eggnog. Who else would say this with a straight face-- and I can't believe no one else caught it: brucie and auntie artemis, sounds like you two are trapped in the wrong body At least they know how to share! How'd they get the owner to vacate though?

Gadabout, if you're for real (LOL, slightly oxymoronic), you would get a lot more mileage out of just being a Mudcatter like the rest of us, talk about music and so forth, and sharing the fun of your search with us, not trolling here for bedbait.

~S~

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,aunty artemis
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:21 PM

ah, yes...I have suspected for most of my life that I am trapped in the wrong body...but you sound like a creep, sweety, regardless!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:32 PM

You? ...Who? This party is more crowded with guests... and the subterfuge is thick... Yikes!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,gadabout
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:36 PM

Signing off...sorry to have bothered you folks. Please discontinue this thread.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:48 PM

"Please discontinue this thread."

Doesn't work like that...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:59 PM

Didn't bother me, but I'm still waiting for details. I'm not undergoing surgery if all there is is a slight chance of getting chosen. I'll end up coming in second to a woman with nice hooters. Is this thread a joke? Because if it isn't, all bets are off. Bump the pay to $500,000, and I'll give it another look. I have Marminator bills to pay.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 06:16 PM

All sounds like a perfect set-up for a "badger game"

(Defined as "an extortion scheme in which a woman places a man in a compromising position and then victimizes him by demanding money when her male accomplice, pretending to be an outraged husband or relative, enters and threatens violence, scandal, etc.")

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 06:18 PM

Oh well, I guess we ran him off; and it was just getting funny! Not our sort at ALL!

~S~

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 07:17 PM

A shame he doesn't play a banjo. I could use a new wardrobe...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: NicoleC
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 07:39 PM

NicoleC...don't be concerned, stay on the porch, your comments ruled you out.

Awww! And I had SO hoped to sell myself into contractual bondage!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 07:52 PM

Well, NicoleC... if you should ever lower your sights to plain old mutual passion and romance, from the lofty highths of gadabout's tyranical fantasies... you know where to find me... ;^)

Merry Christmas! ttr

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,ashamed
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:21 PM

I am ashamed of all you 'catters. We usually treat a guest with more respect. I am posting as a guest so that you won't know who is really ashamed of you. All of you know me. I happen to know someone who just might be the lady that gadabout is looking for. If you are still out there please respond to this post or send an email to [e-mail] and I will put this person in contact with you. Shame, shame, bad 'catters.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:40 PM

I trust that she is not your best friend.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:43 PM

Did this thread originate in Nigeria?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: momnopp
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:50 PM

I don't know who "ashamed" is, but the comments on here from "regular catters" did look a lot like the seedy underbelly of the Mudcat. Is that a record for driving off a visitor in a matter of hours? I'm not entirely clear what the fellow was really looking for and perhaps he was not entirely clear about what it SOUNDED like he was looking for...but might "we" have stopped pointing and giggling long enough to find out? Or is there a history with the specific individual that I'm missing?

Peace,

JudyO

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:53 PM

Sounds like a "feeler" for a white slavery kidnapper...

It's threads like this that support my (personal) belief that anonymous GUEST posters should be banned... :-) especially in BS threads...

But then we wouldn't have as much fun - hey - let's keep the fun going...

There's a web site that sells "original teeth" - copies of original sets like Mike Myers, various buck teeth styles...

Passport - don't need no stinkin' passport! - the Australian Government can get hold of fake documents to export unwanted Asylum seekers who have been in detention for 3 years, so why don't you? :-)

Robin

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:14 PM

I can't help it. This should be the reason I write my best song but I cannot keep myself still to do a thing. I began with Paul Simon's 'I am just a poorgirl(boy) ....' but when I get to 'come on from the ???? on the Mudcat..'

Life ought to be censored!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Amos
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:23 PM

Aw, now fellas, he could be just what he seemed to be -- a highly demanding, controlling rich guy who oncer played guitar. But I don't think we've lost anything!


:>_))

A

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: NicoleC
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:29 PM

Wait -- some guest comes on and goes trawling for an expensive prostitute, and you think the 'Catters are the ones who are "seedy?"

Erm... no. I just don't see it that way. Nor do I have a problem with driving off these particular kinds of guests, except that our "guest" hasn't gone anywhere.

But even if it's a hoax from a Mudcatter parading as a guest, this is the most original thread and funniest we've seen on Mudcat in years :)

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:40 PM

Well, it seemed more to me that we were offering to be playful with someone whose lack of humor in response quickly deteriorated into a clearly stated agenda of control. I sure wasn't coming from the idea of "let's drive him out;" for me it was more a sense that he was approaching meeting someone in a way that would just not work at Mudcat.... but if Mudcat humor was beyond his scope, I think he was looking in the wrong place to start with. YMMV, but I wouldn't shame anyone just for getting different mileage. Most days anyhow.

The Guest-commenting-on-Guest-treatment thing, now that is an old familiar one; are we off on another MUDCATTERS ARE ASSHOLES thread now????

OK, that's probably true enough. I'll go first. HI MY NAME IS SUSAN AND I AM AN ASSHOLE.

But it's pronounced Ah-show-ley, and I think it's unlikely that we can all share the one name, especially if some of us are already in the wrong body. Too confusing!

~S~ AKA A

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: NicoleC
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:52 PM

LOL, Susan!

Ironically, I only opened this thread because work is insisting that I take a vacation (again?) and two can travel almost as cheaply as one. I thought a fellow Mudcatter might have a good trip idea.

Oh well. Back to Expedia.com

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:54 PM

Aye... Where'd ah dees pips on me tum come from? Haie eiu! ..missy o're t'ere... well now ahint eiu a looka! How's aboot a coupla gdand per diem... Don't be bashfu'... darlin'... jes sign on da line sweethot...

;^)ttr

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:46 AM

As the saying goes, "if it looks too good to be true, it probably is."

It would have been a Very Simple Matter for guest "gadabout" to have joined Mudcat so that any interested parties could respond via PM. His reluctance to do so (making him traceable?) raises a warning flag for me. The name-dropping sets off another red flag.

Many of us fit the description and would most certainly pass the background check, but I can't think of a single good reason for anyone to take anyone up an offer like that. The salary is good for a couple of years, but if you're already in a job that takes care of what you need, quitting it to take on an iffy proposition is too big of a risk. And the life on the road gets old fast. And then there are the kids. . . NicoleC nailed it with her annotated version of the original offer.

SRS

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:52 AM

Yea NicoleC
I only opened it originally because of that and it was not a BD thread... oops that should be "BS" although the ways things deteroriate around here...

Robin

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:56 AM

be carefull people, this guy could be a cereal killer or something, [you here about all kinds of bad people using the inter net to find there vic tims], i heard about a german bloke, he wanted to make some new friends through the internet, then he eat them.
just be careful.john

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:58 AM

if you meet him, you should ask -did he eat any people before, if he says yes= tell him get lost, and run away.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:16 AM

"cereal killer"

ROFLMAO!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:20 AM

you think is funny, but this thinfg happens, there is plenty bad people about, and we all have to be care full.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:26 AM

especiully as he is guest, i been to plenty mudcat people houses, and loads of mudcart people been here, [to my house], and they never have no prlobem, ie i didn't eat them, and they didnte eat me.
but he is guest, you have to be very carefull noewadays, as some crazy people about, i saw it on telly, it says=2be carefull with interney people, or they might eat you2, they is some really carzy people abourt nowadays, waht not really intrested n music, they just wabnt to eat you for there dinner, .
thats the ones you haf to watch out for.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:27 AM

Would a "Cereal Killer" Song be "The Revenge of John Barleycorn"?

Robin

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:30 AM

and wehn you join mudcat=you have to put your name and a dress, but guest doesent have to, so just be carefull, thats all i;m saying, he might not eat you, but you dont know, you cant be sure.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:31 AM

i just warning you, thats all, dont blame me, if he eats you, not my fault, we told you, serbes you right.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:03 AM

Maybe soon we'll have a thread "Seeking Companion for Dinner"...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,Diva
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:20 AM

John from Hull is, of course, quite right about the need to be careful on the Internet. Well I don't understand it, Guest Gadabout never got back in touch, can't think why LOL. Mind you, at least he didn't say he had a GSOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:29 AM

Gently stir and flame the fire,
Lay the lady down to roast,
Dress her quickly, I desire,
In the dripping put a toast,
That my hunger may remove --
woman is the meat I love.
On the dresser see her lie;
Skin so charming, lips so red;
Finer meat ne'er met the eye,
On the sweetest fruit she fed:
Let the spit go swiftly round,
Let me have her nice and brown'd.
On the table spread her legs,
Let the knives be sharp and clean,
Pickles, salad and some eggs,
Let her thighs be fresh and lean.
With small beer, good ale and wine,
Oh ye gods! how I shall dine.

(with apologies to) Jonathan Swift + GUEST

fred

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Mooh
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 07:34 AM

If this ain't some joke,
I feel sorry for the bloke.

Arrogantly advertising for a whore on Christmas day. What a looser, a real self-made man! My guess is that his attitude came before his loneliness, if ya know what I mean. Besides, if he's as rich as he pretends, he should use his money for less selfish ends. I heard of a toy drive which fell short in the 9-12 age bracket, and a food bank which was getting low this season...

Now, if it is a joke, which one of us started it? Wish I'd thought of it first!

Love, honour, obey, and LMAO.

Peace, and Merry Christmas, Mooh.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: jimmyt
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 08:13 AM

I guess a seriel killer just kills you and eats you, whereas a cereal killer also puts milk and sugar on you before he eats you.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Bassic
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 08:43 AM

Whereas a sureal killer doesnt have breakfast

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,posterchild
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 09:53 AM

I am not a guest but cannot seem to "reset" my cookie and have not posted in a while. Maybe gadabout could "reset" my cookie, think so? Old rich lonely European men arrange with mistresses and give them everything even their fortunes when they die. It is very common-place in France and even Germany. I was a poor farmgirl with a pretty face and body and I was approached by an intermediary who asked if I would care to be a "friend" to a Nobleman who had observed me in the marketplace with my mother. I agreed to his proposal and in my youthful days he treated me very well and paid for all my travel and educated me and set me up in a nice country house and enough annual allowance to live nicely when he died. We were lovers and good friends for many years. I read many books to him. If I had married as my mother did my life would have been like hers and I saw enough of her poor misery. I have enjoyed my life immensely even though most of you staid settled lot may disapprove.

Marie

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,moony
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 10:06 AM

Mooh, if your toy drives are bust and the food bank is low, why not kindly ask your president to loan you a little Eye-rack money to boost these saggers. But, HEY, what does this have to do with ol' gadabout's dilema.

cereal killer? have you heard about these new cereals???

Whore-E-Os?    they don't snap or crackle or pop, they just lay there.

Queer-E-Os?    eat them before they eat you.

Pros-Ti-Tuties? "box" cost $500.00.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 10:09 AM

I think it had to be a joke and the guitar inventory and name-dropping should reveal the jokester.

In another vein, however, I have to point out that were tragedy to take Hardi from me, leaving me single again, I would have much higher requirements than this gent and could never consider an offer such as his. The fella would have to be rich, AND have an indoor pool AND play nyckelharpa! (I mean, whoa, guitarist, I'm so impressed-- hey, they're a dime a dozen!) Real women want a man who can delicately stroke a nice, refined nyckelharpa in the drawing room and beat the bejesus on my bodhran in the bedroom!!

~Susan

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,stroker
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 10:28 AM

Susan, are your nyckelharpa and bodhran located between your legs? Can we beat them and blow my penny whistle at the same time? Can we perhaps "thrash" this all out? I am getting frisky! Gadabout, old lout, can ye afford two trollops so they we can trip together?

TougueLasher

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Cluin
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 11:37 AM

You: Beautiful, extremely rich, slightly dim but extremely horny young woman with three pubs in Ireland, a tubal ligation, a penchant for extravagant travel and willingness to pay all the bills.

Me: Nuff said. (but I'll add that I hold no murderous grudges against breakfast foods of any stripe)

Let's get together and spend your money.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Hollowfox
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 11:38 AM

I dunno, I'd like to see the responses he gets from the ads in the major newspapers. I mean, when you have bragging rights to being part of an opening act for a Peter Paul and Mary college gig more than thirty five years ago. Wow, now there's a real draw for the non-folkie crowd.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Mooh
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:00 PM

Guest,moony...I don't have a president, and what's with the prejudice?

Susan...I think you're right...again! Kinda like charades, ain't it?

Over and out. Mooh.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:17 PM

I haven't read all of the responses, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating what anyone else has posted...

Wanted: Nonencumbered straight (but very liberal) female travel companion. Non smoker, social drinker, caucasian, 35-55, attractive, weight according to height, current passport, educated, bi-lingual English-French (preferred), EXTROVERT!, comfortable in any social setting (usabashed), complete physical mandatory, extensive background check WILL be performed by an agency NO criminal record. Excellent salary, all expenses (medical, travel, accomodations, etc), wardrobe furnished, free time, world travel

Sounds like "Seeking Portable Prostitute" would have been a better heading for this thread.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:36 PM

Whore e ohs, that's clever!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: greg stephens
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:57 PM

Undoubtedly a joke. Probably perpetrated by JOhn from Hull in order to slip in the "cereal killer" and"put on a dress" lines.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:20 PM

Well, this thread is not at all funny! I could have ended up in surgery! Bloody good thing I didn't rush into an operation based on a hasty decision. I feel so cheap and sleezy. Filthy lucre.

Then there is Prostituties: They don't snap, crackle or pop; they just lay in the bottom of the bowl and bang.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 03:23 PM

very old joke:

girl sitting at a bar...a flashy guy with a leer sits down beside her.

"hey, pretty lady....would you go come with me to Acupulco for a week and sleep with me for $50,000?"
she looks at him, astounded..."hmmmm...you know, I just think I might do that!"

"Well", he says, "How about a quickie in the alley for 20 bucks?"
"WHAT?" she sputters, "What kind of girl do you think I am?"
"Oh". he says, "we've settled that...now we're just haggling over prices."

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:13 PM

Bill... that was exquisite!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:29 PM

Bill, if he had a Lear it might be different.

~S~

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:33 PM

It's all fun and games until someone gets surgically castrated.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 05:24 PM

OTOH... The marketplace is barren when the customers have Love...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 05:41 PM

excerpts...
FRY! BASTARD! FRY! For the dastardly things you've done
But before you die We should all have some good ole fun
We should strip and whip you And beat you into a bloody mess
Then what I think we should do And happily, I must confess
We'll let you suffer for awhile Before we begin to castrate you
We'll sit back, relax and smile And think of what else we can do
And when it is all over and done We could all enjoy a good ole egg fry
I would love to participate in all of this I don't find it at all that unusually cruel
Sadly though, it is something I will miss I'll be teaching 'forgiveness' at bible school

Reverend Lester P. Tibble

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:18 PM

freda underhill... OK... I'm disgusted... Happy Holidays.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:22 PM

Ditto that, freda. (Would you write s'more?)

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,moony
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:34 PM

brucie - heh.heh.heh. is this yer true name ol' sod? Thankee for correcting my "cereal" tale. C'mon, Gaddie me boy, pick up a brace of quim and take yer poor ol' Moony to a better place.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 02:25 PM

Actually, I may have a position for a "Centerboard cook" next summer.
If you don't know what that is, you are not a sailor.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,sandy creek
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:19 PM

True Story. Honest! My uncle had a friend in his late 40's who was a general contractor in the early seventies and did quite well and made lots of money. The ol' boy had a series of health problems related to a car crash and required 24 hour care. His wife hired nurses to help her out. The wife died a few years later and one of the nurses (drop dead lovely, perfect rack, blonde, legs up to her...AND bent over A LOT to reveal a most lovely sight!) ended up on top of the heap and nursed yhe ol' boy back to some semblance of health. Musta been the massages. Anyhoooooooooow, when he died the nurse was left most of the money, a nearly new Lincoln and a house on the beach near Wilmington NC. The last time I saw her she told me that was her plan all along. Now...what would you call HER? Are her motives any different than our old pal Gadabout?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:41 PM

See them gayly gadabout,
They love to play and shout
They never have any cares...
At six O'clock their lo vely nurses will take them home to bed
Because they're tired little teddy bears

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Leadfingers
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:42 PM

Having read Marions busking tour thread I was actually thinking about doing something on the same lines,but preferably WITH another singer
come musician both for travelling company and to make the busking more pleasurable, if slightly less lucrative.Perhaps I might be in the process of reviewing the situation.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Melani
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:45 PM

Kendall--try our local rag "Latitude 38." Lots of ads similar to Gadabout's, except they've all got boats.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Charley Noble
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 04:14 PM

Well, it's turned out to be a worthwhile thread after all.

Wat a nice poem, Freda!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,Jules
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 04:37 PM

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep you mouth shut.
-Ernest Hemingway.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Oaklet
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 07:35 PM

To the originator of the thread. I have little to offer except my love of seafood and possession of a Morris Traveller. And my winning ways with cows. How long is the trip and do you expect any sex? You great git.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 07:40 PM

No, No! Me, ME ME!!
The kids are all raised and gone from home, I am only 52, love to travel, (if you are paying) have all my own teeth (so I can't do gum work...), Mr. wouldn't mind, really, if it pays well.....

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 07:48 PM

Forgot to say, I'm a little bit of a thing...only 102/7 stone...you could bench press me if you want....BONUS QUALIFICATION--!! I play a mean fiddle!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 08:03 PM

Sorch, yer leavin' yerself wide open, so to speak -- let's hope Spaw doesn't open this thread... LOL!!


A

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: freda underhill
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 08:19 PM

be careful bruce and charlie you'll encourage me...

ROAST! GADABOUT! ROAST! For the business ripoffs things you've done
But before you sizzle and pop a bit
We should all have some good ole fun
We'll baste and poach and syrup you And whip you into a fluffy mess
Then what I think we should do as well is put you in a dress
We'll wax and pluck and electrolysize you Before we emotionally castrate you
then we'll put you in a beauty contest and verbally humiliate you
we'll send you as a travelling companion
for freda charlie and bruce
while they are riding in the merc
you'll be thrown about in the boot
when we waltz into the airport lounge
you'll carry the bags in your teeth
and when we're having cocktails in byron bay
you'll be chained to the table beneath
I look forward to participating in all of this and I don't find it unusually cruel
Sadly though, it is something I will miss I'll be teaching "183 knot techniques" at S&M school..

Reverend Gloria Sarmpits and her assistants Looseasabruce and
charmlessbutarmless

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,harp
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:12 PM

I bet what this guy really needs is a nurse and a purse!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:20 PM

Hey, I shaved my legs last week! (don't ask about the pits....)

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,rumpromper
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:25 PM

My friends and I are a group (7) of artists and designers who advise several well known New York department stores how to display and advertise for the not so "straight" crowd. Something like "Queer eye for the"...well you know! We have come up with a sinfully delicious vacation roadtrip from NYC to San Francisco. We are going to invite straight couples to go with us all expenses paid and we are going to try to entice the boys away from the girls. They can play too, ooooooohhhhhhh what a threesome, like a triple decker. Ride 'em cowpoke! Yipee-tie-yaaaaaaaa! It is warm in here! AND we are musicians, we all play flutes, snicker, snicker. Any of you mud people want to take a walk on the wild side? How about some "ladies"
to take care of the "girls". Oh, the juices are flowing!

Sad note: Three of my friends are in jail for assaulting an old lady. Two of them held her down while the third one fixed her hair.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:43 PM

Jeeze Sorcha, at first glance, I thought you said you weighed 102 STONE! No, I will not touch that "bench press" remark.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:49 PM

Oh my no, Cap'n...102 POUNDS or 7 stone....go ahead, give it a shot...Bubba Luke did today, getting me off the Rollback wrecker....LOL! I have a hard time staying stiff for bench presses, tho.........(hee hee hee)

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:58 PM

(i soooo bad.....)

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 10:27 PM

Baaaaaaaadddddddddd! Is this Elite behavior?????

Well.... Yeah!

~S~

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 11:10 PM

Post the details....I don't bite, scratch or kick....

Leave Phone number and hours to contact, e-mail, and dates available, you will get an answer.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

IF you are queer trying to pretend straight - you don't need a sex change - you can come as you are - (If you are straight - trying to pickup - I won't change any of my anatomotical structure.....If you only need another drunk to "down-load" a load when you overload....envite JoHnHuLL ....Howver, if the gig is set and you require an accountant, scheduler, advance-man, stand-in, comic, or companion....Perhaps, I am your MAN.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 06:05 AM

No point my dusting down my kilt and sporran then??
John

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 08:25 AM

Sorcha, you are really asking for it!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: okthen
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 09:10 AM

Gadabout, when you make your final choice, could you send me the 'phone numbers of the other ladies on your shortlist?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,bi-lingus
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:26 AM

What a beautiful website. Are you all swingers?

NOTE TO DADDIE GADDIE GADFLY...I*AM*THE*TRAVEL*COMPANION*THAT*YOU*NEED
I live near Montreal CANADA, 47 years of age, speak both English and French fluently and some Spanish. Divorced/no kids/no ties/educated/outgoing/ homecoming queen (for sure)/5'5" tall 120 pounds US 35/23/36 I will send pictures if you respond and more information. You will love this part, not only am bi-lingual, I am also bi-sexual. I may as well tell you, I am a hemale/shemale combo. I have adequate equiptment to swing both ways. Just wait until you see me in a bikini! Does this appeal to you, Daddie Gaddie? I just know we will hit it off.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: LilyFestre
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 03:42 PM

"Sad note: Three of my friends are in jail for assaulting an old lady. Two of them held her down while the third one fixed her hair."



ROTFLMAO......that is just TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   

I have a little old woman with one stocking up and the other down....purse clutched to her chest, Sunday church dress from 1950, big clunky shoes and blue hair dancing before me while Queer Eye attempts the Diva makeover....desparately trying to avoid being clomped on the head with a purse full of nasty hankies and Lifesavers!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!!!!!

Michelle

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: LoosanaJack
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 04:17 PM

Greetings from Nawlins. THIS IS SOME FUNNY STUFF. Some of you folks are good enough to do stand-up. As to the gist of the thread, there are quite a few "kept" ladies and no doubt a few men here in the city, especially in the French Quarter. This type of arrangement is very common here.

rump-romper...are you the same as a rump-ranger?

Here is an excellent funny book...............

"A Confederacy of Dunces" Pulitzer Prize Winner by John Kennedy Toole. A comedic novel about an outrageous bunch of characters running loose in the streets of New Orleans. Main character is Ignatius J. Riley. Any of you read this?

Jack

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Ed.
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 04:29 PM

Little Hawk considers this to be one of the funniest threads.

I think that it's about the saddest.

On the assumption that the initial message was genuine, I can only feel sorry for 'gadabout'

Unable to find love, he thinks that he can use his money to approximate it (whilst misunderstandind the difference between sex and love).

Gadabout, how about finding a girl that you like, and who doesn't care about money?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 05:16 PM

Ed, I don't think he mentioned sex or love. We assumed it. He advertised for a companion. The trouble was, he put in the kinds of parameters that one sees in the personal ads a la "SM seeks SF for good times." To be fair, deciding that he can't tell the difference between sex and love is taking this a remove too far.

SRS

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 06:13 PM

I think GUEST gadabout's first mistake was posting on the Mudcat. People here are not going to pass on a shot at some humour. Freda--I love the poems, and please consider this more encouragement. The postings by GUEST gadabout are facetious, and he should have the good sense that God gave a turnip to see his mission has become impossible. Good luck finding someone who can be bought for a paltry fifth of a million. Why, we have higher Marminator bills than that, and that is only for the ongoing interviews I hold with would-be starlets, varlets and ha . . . ; I'l not stoop to filth, even in the interests of art for art's sake (or a neat little rhyme). I am a man of principle--$200,000, jaysus. Give   me   a   break!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 12:27 AM

Help me Catters...Wanted: Sex. Must be over 21, female and breathing.

I am a man of very simple tastes. Any blow-up dolls will have to have a complete medical, physical and criminal record check. The aforementioned will be done by my buddy, Little Hawk. (He doesn't know it yet, so don't be e-mailing and telling him. I just want to see how he reacts to 783 "Suzie, The Affordable Light-weight Travel Companions" arriving in the mail with neither warning nor explanation.) Bicycle pump a must. I will not have my friend's lips sullied by cheap plastic tubes that may have had other blower-uppers. If the dolls have been previously dated, have the good taste to give them a thorough washing with soap, water and bleach.

Gadabout, take a lesson in ad writing, and eat your heart out! (And I refuse to lower myself by mentioning money.)

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 12:29 AM

jOhn from Hull -

Personally I hope the guy IS a cereal killer...Those bastards Count Chocula and Cap'n Crunch have been living on borrowed time for YEARS....

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 12:32 AM

Guest--I think he was looking for Trix. . .

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 12:36 AM

GUEST- i think you are one of the crazy bastards that we have to be carefull of.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 04:13 AM

This guy couldn't make out in a womans prison with a seabag full of pardons.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 10:17 AM

Is he a seaman then?
John

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Big Mick
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 10:40 AM

This thread was likely started by an old troll. S/he used to be a member here, but when s/he ripped someone off and got caught, s/he disappeared. Every so often s/he resurfaces and starts some of this crap. Unless I miss my guess, s/he has posted on this thread as gadabout, ashamed, moony, rumpromper, bilingus, LoosanaJack, stroker, and sandy creek. S/he thinks she is much smarter than everyone else here and delights (in his/her twisted mind)in making you all dance. Classic troll mentality.

I suggest that you all either ignore or continue to make light of this. Under no circumstances should any intelligent 'Catter respond to the bait and contact this person. But that is just my suggestion. As usual on our little corner of the net, you are all free to do as you will.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 11:05 AM

Loosana Jack said, in part:

"A Confederacy of Dunces" Pulitzer Prize Winner by John Kennedy Toole. A comedic novel about an outrageous bunch of characters running loose in the streets of New Orleans. Main character is Ignatius J. Riley. Any of you read this?

I sure have! Three times! This has got to the the great American novel! I think I'll go get it off the bookshelf, to read again. Hilarious, and some of the most wonderful characters you'll ever find in a novel.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Mr Happy
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 11:30 AM

http://www.cantbarsed.com/giftideas/sillyjokes.htm

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,Lisa
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 04:55 PM

I am exhausted and suffering from post-champagne depression this is a real killer. I have been initiated into all mysteries of life and I am seeking fantastically exciting male companion with a zest for life and has good conversation on every subject under the sun.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:00 PM

Stilly Wabbit...Trix are for kids .......

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: PoppaGator
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 06:21 PM

Whether "Loosana Jack" is for real or not (whether or not s/he is an alter ego of the original "gadabout"), the recommendation of "Confederacy of Dunces" is a good one.

All you connosieurs (sp?) of accents should take special notice of this comic masterpiece. Each of Kennedy's characters represents a different recognizable New Orleans "type," and each has a different spot-on accurate accent.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 07:06 PM

I am somewhat disappointed that my posting of Dec 29 above has received no replies as yet. OK, I give in. I'll offer $11.27 Canadian per week. Filthy lucre wins again.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 07:21 PM

$11.27 Canadian???? Canadian?????? heeheeeheeee

Thomas, you will have a better chance offering original poetry.

Still no word on the banjo...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Jilly
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 07:41 PM

This is my first visit here so Hello to everyone.
I would like to meet a travel Companion so anyone going any place?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 08:10 PM

Jilly,

Welcome to the Mudcat.

You might want to read the whole thread and get a good idea of what is going on.

BM

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: freda underhill
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 08:23 PM

Bruce

you may wish to check out my offer on the Lobster song challenge thread..

freda

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:05 PM

Seems like Big Mick has "busted" this ill-conceived thread and once again swooped to the defence of poor cannot-think-or-figure-stuff-out Mudcats. Whether these postings are real or bogus you have to admit IT IS FUNNY and makes you think "is this shit for real?". It takes an excellent imagination to concoct such a fanciful idea. Mayhaps some of you are jealous that your minds do not travel outside the boundaries of your electric or eclectic fences, What think you, BM... Good job, Gaddie, whoever you are. I like to think he is real and that his posting is real and somewhere outside the encampment there is a hot toothsome footloose wench that will just the companion our well composed friend seeks. They will fall in ____________ and ride or sail off into the __________ together.

Too bad John Kennedy Toole did not live long enough to write sequels to "A Confederacy of Dunces". Would this make a great movie or what...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Sorcha
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:15 PM

Are we still having fun, or what??? My offer has not been commented on.....I am heartbroken.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Big Mick
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:32 PM

I think, my old antagonist, that your arrogance has flushed you out. In that poor mind of yours you will use any excuse to try and feel superior. That is fine. Just don't expect some of us to play along.

Mick

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: NicoleC
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:37 PM

Imagination? Not really. These kinds of ads are in every major paper every week. The FIRST guy... well, he might have been imaginative it he weren't so pathetic.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:51 PM

Score one for Big Mick!

Charley Noble, who only trolls with the best

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Big Mick
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:54 PM

Why do you congratulate yourself, GUEST 9:05 PM?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: freda underhill
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:59 PM

Sorcha, I know how you feel. I made an irresistable offer on the lobster song challenge thread (to help me get to a song writing contest in Maine) and strangely no one has taken it up!

freda

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 10:30 PM

Some will not play along, but most will...the game is still afoot.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 11:00 PM

I agree guest--I can visualize them with a durable road-trip future, making beautiful Musli together.

("stilly wabbitt"--pretty good one!)

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Hrothgar
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 12:43 AM

Well, Sorch, I might not be able to do too many bench presses, but hw about a few push-ups?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 12:49 AM

HA! Now I can see the Ads!
~~~~~~
Instant Criminal Check
Instant Nationwide Criminal/Felony Check. Results Displayed Instantly.
~~~~~~
Run Criminal Record Check
Discover the Truth About Anyone with Web Detective software. Aff.
~~~~~~~
How appropriate!

Robin

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 01:45 AM

And guest, when they finally part and she wants her last payment, I hope that he doesn't tell her "the Chex in the mail."

SRS

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Sorcha
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 02:11 AM

Push ups were not in the offer....sorry Hrothgar...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 05:09 AM

Cluin - I pass two items on your list, is that enough? I'm sure I can work on one of the others if I can just find the right blunt instrument and a good defense lawyer.

I don't do pushups.

LTS

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Jilly
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 05:37 AM

Bi-Lingus have you discovered your husbands stunning girl friends photograph? "what a revenge", what ever did he do to make you that cross?
When my husband died he left his brand new car ( Jaguar) to his mistress. I put an add in the paper and sold it for twenty pounds. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 07:34 AM

Do I have to explain what a "centerboard cook" is to get a response?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 07:49 AM

No kendall,
we've already cooked something up...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 08:12 AM

I'm surrounded by non sailors

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 08:23 AM

... moron'd ... (that's not a mispelling)...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Charley Noble
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 09:59 AM

Kendall-

I know what a "centerboard" is, and what a "cook" is and even the nickname for the galley smokestack. But you'll have to explain to us what a "centerboard cook" is this evening at the Seadogs Tavern. Maybe they've got one out back.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: harpgirl
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 10:04 AM

so it must mean you cook on the aft deck with a grill attached to the stantion like my dad used to do for grilling on the sailboat!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Big Mick
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 10:17 AM

Nope.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 10:56 AM

GUEST, I agree that A Confederacy of Dunces is tempting as a movie subject.

In fact, so did some producer. I heard some time ago that a movie was being made of this great book. Haven't heard anything further about it, though.

I'm just afraid of the novel-to-movie comedown, though. I'd see the movie just out of curiosity, but with no expectation that it could live up to its glorious antecedent.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 01:50 PM

Ok, I'm going to get killed for this, but, picture the trunk that the centerboad lives in. When you are in shallow water, you raise the centerboard into the trunk which is shaped like a slot. In deep water, you lower the board to minimize leeway.
What's pertinent here is the shape of the trunk.
Why can't I just keep quiet...

A centerboard cook is a woman!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: harpgirl
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 01:58 PM

Kendall!! How much does it pay?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 07:55 PM

Freda,

I can't find the thread to which you refer.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Big Mick
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 08:14 PM

I wasn't going to tell them, Ken. I am surprised you did.....and I love it!!! hahahahahahaha.

Mick

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: freda underhill
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 08:15 PM

an irresistable offer on

SONG CHALLENGE: Barbie Lobster Tale

ps you have to provide your own speculum

fred

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 09:03 PM

When I find out what that is, I will do my best to provide one. I am a normal guy. Should I have one already?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: freda underhill
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 09:32 PM

don't speculate too much about speculums, or the spectre of gynotechnology may do battle with your own emergency evacuation needs.. making quite a spectacle. check the post before submitting. you may understand why the offers have been thin..

hopes can turn to ashes in moments, and to relief in seconds!and lobsters dressed as barbies are hard hearted creatures..

fred

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Sorcha
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 09:42 PM

It's my fault, Mick...I MADE him tell me in chat...and loverly gadabout hasn't responded to my offer yet....sob, sob....just because I don't shave my legs often is no reason to eliminate me is it???

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 10:08 PM

I should have added that this position is only open to someone who is retired, loves sailing, folk music, travel, is independently wealthy and doesn't snore, or smoke. (It's ok if she drinks)

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 10:29 PM

Send a photo of the boat!

:)

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 10:46 PM

Skipper, yer living in yer dreams, and it's leaking out into the real world!! LOL!!

A

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 09:39 AM

If you aim low, you must hit low.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 05:53 PM

kudos to jOhn for derailing this thread into a series of bad puns based on breakfast cereal names....Cheerio(s)!!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 07:38 PM

Yeah, but they are cereals looking for cheap Trix.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 08:05 PM

The Stilly River Sage beat you to that one brucie ...see above.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 08:22 PM

Agh . . . .

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 09:52 PM

There are plenty of other brands and types out there to choose from, brucie. We'll be looking for your next Post. I also thought that was a wonderful unintentional shift in the topic.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 12:29 AM

I beg your pardon, GUEST of 31 Dec 03 - 05:53, but the "Cereal Killer "thread creep" was instituted by ME!!!

see 26 Dec 03 - 02:27 AM !!!!!!!!!

hmmmphh!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 05:43 AM

A bit flaky if you ask me!
John

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: freda underhill
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 05:53 AM

if he's truly a cereal killer, we need to get one of those Profilers, to examine his ad & determine whether he's a dangerous flake, and what variety.

a profiler can read his ad and suss him out. for example, he claims an association with Tom Paxton, Tom Rush, Joni Mitchell, Judy Collins, etc. obviously living in the past, weak, needing to associate himself with big names, delusions of granola.

Claims he has a "The Grammer Guitar", mid-60's, a 1975 Martin D35, a 1999 Guild D40, and my favorite, a 1975 Guild D50." (guitars being a curved and female form) Obviously had a dominant mother figure, and in buying older classic guitars is seeking to subliminally control her, even emulate her, so could be a miso -genist (Japanese form of cereal based on soy products). Has obviously spent time in Japan.

Plays a two finger and thumb picking style - has poor table manners, possibly leading to his cereal obsession.

Only reveals quirks at later interviews - obviously plans to "soften"
his victim prior to revealing his secret needs. May prefer to soak his muesli prior to ingestion.

Solution: dangerous flake,delusions of granola, dominant mother, has pent time in Japan, poor table manners and eats Bircher muesli. Anyone you know?

fred

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 11:35 AM

Sorry if I unintentionally offended, 'troupe...it's all a matter of semantics, eh?

jOhn was the first to coin the term 'cereal killer'(see 26 Dec 03 - 1:56 AM), and it was that to which I was referring in 31 Dec 03 - 5:53PM when I expressed appreciation for the sidetrack of puns and plays on words and general buffoonery in which you, me, and a few others participated.

I now recognize that you were the first to run with it in your entry 26 Dec 03 - 2:27AM (and a very nice introductory entry, IMO, that required more than two brain cells rubbed together to create).

I hope that set the record straight.

Happy New Year...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 01:39 PM

Rice Crispies are made from ________. Corn Flakes are made from ________. Quaker Oats are made from _________. And Canadian Rye Whisky is made from ________. Wheaties are made from ________. Yep, something is d e f i n i t e l y happenin' here. Cereal Millers.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 06:08 PM

What a polite GUEST!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: freda underhill
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 02:06 AM

The baby corn asks his mama corn: Where do baby corns come from? Mama says "I told ya before, the stalk brought ya.

    2 corn cobs were walking downtown and the first cob noticed that they were being followed by another strange cob everywhere they went. The first cob whispered to the second cob "Don't look know but I think we are being followed by a stalker"

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 02:22 PM

We never eat cereals, 'cos cereals have mush
And one little bite turns a kid to a lush
Oh can you imagine the pain of a Ma
To see little junior, act just like his Pa.

John

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 04:18 PM

There may be a kernel of truth in what has been said above about cereal killers, especially after you husk the ears. The essential thing is to remember to remove the corn weevils, a decision which frequently boils down to choosing the lessor of any two weevils...

I keep thinking of that poor misguided guest poster, coming here for travel companionship and then being subjected to such a harvest of bad puns. I'm so ashamed...

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 05:45 PM

I can see you blushing from here, Charley [not!]

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: freda underhill
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 11:21 AM

i wonder if anyone nibbled..