Worst of All Possible Covers?

Subject: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: JenEllen
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 12:30 PM

In continuation of the fun HERE we were playing a snowy-day game of 'What would be the worst possible cover?' at the station this morning. I though I'd put the question to you folks.

My entry into the "Worst Possibles" was Rob Zombie singing Johnny Cash's 'Chicken in Black'.

Go to it 'Catters,
~J

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,SlickerBill
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 12:51 PM

How about Britney Spears doing Dylan's "Just Like A Woman"? SB

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 01:04 PM

Oh, God...it couldn't get worse than that!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 01:08 PM

But...how about Sean Connery singing "Tie A Yellow Ribbon" or Woody Allen doing "My Way"?

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: JenEllen
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 01:10 PM

Or Bob Dylan singing 'Rum and Coca Cola'?

'Workin' for the Yankee Dollaaaaah'...eeeek!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Wesley S
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 01:11 PM

How about Limp Biskit doing "Are You Going To San Francisco" ??

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 01:14 PM

LOL!!!

How about Barbra Streisand....or better yet, Celine Dion, doing "Highway To Hell"?

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Wesley S
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 01:23 PM

Celine Dion IS the Highway to Hell.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Peter T.
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 01:32 PM

No, but seriously. The worst real cover: Diana Krall on some Chieftains album doing "Danny Boy". Indescribably awful, worse than the worst Danny Boy you have ever heard (I know, I know, hard to believe, but it is so).

yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 01:33 PM

Tony Bennett doing When the Levee Breaks.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 01:38 PM

Britney actually covered The Stones "Satisfaction". It is awful.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 01:39 PM

Imaginary covers from hell would have to include the chipmunks singing "You Make me Feel like a Natural Woman" (credit our friend Maria Terres for that idea). Real covers that are bad: Elton John's version of Lucy in the Sky. The Bee Gees doing Sgt. Pepper. Van Morrison singing Raglan Road. Back to imaginary, we could have a Frank Sinatra sings a Roy Harper medley.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Justa Picker
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 01:41 PM

BONO'S pathetic attempts to sing jazz standards with Frank Sinatra.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: JudyR
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 02:12 PM

Here's a "what might have been." According to Todd Everett's notes for "Memories" on the recently-issued complete Vanguard recordings of Mimi & Richard Farina, songs were originally to include Joan Baez's first venture into pop: "My Little Red Book" and "Yesterday," among them. That idea didn't survive.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: jeffp
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 02:18 PM

Peter, I beg to differ. A couple of weeks ago I saw Tom Jones on Public TV's Ed Sullivan retrospective series. He was the usual Tom Jones, and then he finished up with "A Welsh version of that great Irish song." It was SO bad I was literally rolling on the floor laughing uncontrollably. My poor wife could just sit and watch me, tears rolling down my face, labored breathing, etc. I haven't laughed like that in years.

jeffp

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,Arkie
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 04:21 PM

Anybody singing "Feelings".

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: M.Ted
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 04:35 PM

Years ago, I heard a Japanese Bluegrass band's cover of "My Way"--and somewhere, in a box, I have a rare Italian recording of two unidentified singers trading lines of Bent Fabric's classic, "Alley Cat"--they were guessing at the pronunciation of the words--delightfully bad!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 04:37 PM

Willie doing Over the Rainbow.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: MMario
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 04:39 PM

Carol Burnett as "Eunice" - singing anything.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: RolyH
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 04:46 PM

Simon & Garfunkle doing Scarborough Fair?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 04:46 PM

Danny De Vito doing "Sometimes When We Touch"!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 04:49 PM

I don't know if this counts as a cover - but from what I've heard on the telly, it seems any performer booked to sing the Star Spangled Banner on a public occasion appears compelled to try to sing it even worse than all the others.

Amazingly enough, they always seem to succeed. Americans are clearly a lot more tolerant than they are sometimes given credit for being.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 05:00 PM

Or a lot more obilivious... :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 05:01 PM

Correction: oblivious

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Peter T.
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 07:39 PM

jeffp, you are in for a treat. If you loved Tom, you will adore Diana. I envy you the Tom experience. If only we could trade a video of Tom for the CD of the Chieftains, which is much more easily obtainable. yours, Peter T.

P.S. A friend suggests: Karen Carpenter's airbrushed version of Leon Russell's "You Called Me Baby".

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: JenEllen
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 10:50 PM

Bad stuff....

The winners at the station today:
Leonard Cohen doing John Lee Hooker's "Boom Boom Boom"
Ozzy Osbourne doing "Touch Me In The Morning"
Three Tenors doing "Mas Tequila"

Going down south where the blue agave cactus grow-oh-Oh-OH'S,
~Jen

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Anahootz
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 10:52 PM

Somewhere deep in my MP3 files I have a cover of "Dazed and Confused" by an unnamed band...sung (or screeched) entirely in Japanese.

Quite possibly the worst cover I have ever heard.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: khandu
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 10:53 PM

Johnny Cash and June Carter doing Cat Stevens' "Father and Son". It was sad!

Guns and Roses "Knocking on Heaven's Door"

Dylan doing Merle Haggard's part in "Pancho and Lefty". He did it with Willie on Willie's 60th birthday celebration.

David Ball doing "Don't Think Twice" at the Kennedy Center Awards for Dylan.

Whoever the hell the woman was that did "American Pie".

khandu

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Anahootz
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 11:00 PM

Didn't Madonna mangle "American Pie"?

*SHUDDER*

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: JenEllen
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 11:21 PM

Two of the most wonderfully hilarious real covers I've ever heard are courtesy of Shonen Knife (something like 'Yoko Ono meets Ono no Kamachi'...priceless). They did "Heat Wave" and "Daydream Believer".

For them, I wish:
Mae West to cover their song "Cobra Versus Mongoose", and to have any of the world-of-wonder Christian singers try and tackle "I Like Public Baths".

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 11:21 PM

Me, singing songs from Fiddler On the Roof! Gawd I HATED them....and it showed. What a whore I was when I used to sing in Hotels.

And yes...I sang Feelings....but I was insane in those days.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: JudyR
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 11:40 PM

All the white guys like Pat Boone and Bing Crosby that covered black R&B in the 50's.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: michaelr
Date: 06 Mar 02 - 11:42 PM

Paul McCartney ought to be good for a few of these! Let's see...

Emmylou Harris, "Exactly What The Man Said"
John Prine, "Band On The Run"
Bob Dylan, "The Long And Winding Road"
`N Sync, "When I'm 64"
Leonard Cohen, "Lovely Rita"
Metallica, "Honey Pie"

...and a real one: that girl punk band that covered "Money" in the 80s!

Cheers,
Michael

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 12:18 AM

michael, that was Flying Lizard doing "Money"..and I loved it.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Lepus Rex
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 12:47 AM

Awww, JenEllen, I LOVE Shonen Knife's cover of "Daydream Believer." Almost as much as I love their version of the Carpenter's "Top Of The World." :) Broke my toe on my way home from a Shonen Knife show years ago. Ah, the memories...

So... I usually like covers, even bad ones. But, the worst REAL cover I've heard: Well, it wasn't funny or anything, but I just HATE Metallica's cover of Nick Cave's "Loverman." And not only because it turned lots of bonehead Metallica fans on to Nick Cave, either. :)

Worst FAKE cover: A young Brenda Lee singing Motörhead's "Love Me Like A Reptile."

---Lepus Rex

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Mark Ross
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 01:10 AM

Hasn't any one heard the worst cover of all time? Definitely it is William Shatner's version of LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS!

Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Genie
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 02:33 AM

Joe Cocker or singing "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face"
Charlotte Church singing "Take Another Little Piece Of My Heart" or "Lady Marmalade"
Britney Spears singing "Respect"
Bob Dylan singing "Memory" (from "Cats") Frankie Valli (sp?) singing "Ol' Man River"

Oh, the possibilities! Genie

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Genie
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 02:45 AM

BTW, those I posted are fantasy covers, not actual ones (I hope).

Genie

A REAL one I head a few days ago, thanks to another thread here, was Patsy Cline's version of "Life Is Like A Mountain Railroad." Patsy's incredible voice notwithstanding, the arrangement (style, tempo) and back up singing rendered the song really GAWDAWFUL! (Actually, the back-up singers nearly had me on the floor laughing!)

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Genie
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 02:51 AM

Oh, and two other REAL and awful renditions of great songs:
Cher singing "O Holy Night"
Kitty Wells singing "Silent Night"

Also, most of the vocal covers done on The Lawrence Welk Show (except for Ana Cani).
I once saw an accordionist/singer on the LW show do "Hoop-de-doo!" so slowly and with such lack of pizazz that it made Perry Como's version sound like Perry was on speed! Sort of a musical oxymoron, I thought.

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 03:05 AM

Since when was 'Money' a Paul McCartney song?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Whippet
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 05:25 AM

Anybody singing 'Green Fields of France/Willie McBride'

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: RangerSteve
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 05:43 AM

I recall hearing a Japanese bluegrass singer doing "Uncle Pen": Rate in evening about sundown, High on hirr above town, Uncre pen prayed fiddr" etc. The Japanese apparentry have no equivalent for the word "the".

Worst imaginary cover: Bing Crosby doing "Slim Shady".

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: alison
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 07:42 AM

whoever murdered "Stay with me 'til dawn" by Judy Tzuke.... it was maybe 2 or 3 years ago.... interspersed with a techno beat.... ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Peter T.
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 07:54 AM

Once one gets started on Christmas songs, the abyss opens. I think they must be kept off the list.

The late Saint John Lennon did a number of miserable covers during his lost years. Paul's (the cute wrinkly Beatle)album of rock and roll covers (the Russian album) is actually quite good, except the Elvis cover.

yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,Frogmore
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 07:58 AM

How about Jimmy Swaggart singing "Ring of Fire"? I'd love to have a version of Tom Waits singing "Happy Birthday". A real one that worked for me was Dr. John and Leon Redbone swapping verses on "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Morticia
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 08:50 AM

I can't believe no-one has mentioned Richard Harris and "MacArthur Park".......(gulp) wish I hadn't thought of it either, I think my lunch may re-appear.Worst fantasy cover might have to be Kiri te Kanawa singing "Smells like teen spirit"

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: jeffp
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 08:51 AM

Peter, I really wish that I had taped that Tom Jones thing. I would send you a copy in a heartbeat. I'll have to check out Diana. What can I say, I'm a glutton for punishment.

jeffp

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Peter T.
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 12:26 PM

you won't regret it, er, well, you know what I mean. But your mention of the fact that Tom's performance is on an Ed Sullivan retrospective suggests that it is part of that packaged series doing the rounds, which means that it may (be still my beating heart) be available. yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: jeffp
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 12:55 PM

Keep an eye out for it, Peter. I saw it on US Public TV. It was called something like, "Best of Sullivan." Gather some friends, get 'em drunk, then put it on. Now, That's Entertainment!

jeffp, sick puppy

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,Don
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 01:51 PM

Thought I'd get in on the fun of this thread.

My nominations for worst cover that I have actually heard:

2nd runner-up: The Golddiggers (A troupe of dancers, clad Las Vegas style. They used to appear on the old Dean Martin variety show) doing "I am Woman"*.

1st runner-up: Dean Martin doing "Gentle on my Mind".

and the Winner of worst actual cover: Frank Sinatra doing "Mrs. Robinson".

*this was done on the TV show, not recorded to my knowledge. The other two were actually recorded.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 03:17 PM

Fantasy category: Margaret Thatcher doing "Touch Me In The Morning"...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,SlickerBill
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 08:49 PM

How about Robert Plant doing "New York,New York"? And have you ever caught Dave Thomas of SCTV doing a spoof on the Richard Harris/ McArthur Park thing? I peed. SB

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 10:19 PM

Brian Linehan doing "Like A Rolling Stone".

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Genie
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 12:22 AM

Morticia, Was Richard Harris's version of MacArthur Park a cover? I thought it was the first commercial recording of the song.

How about a fantasy cover of MacArthur Park by LL Cool J?

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 08:54 AM

Fantasy choices - Charlotte Church sings heavy metal (or even thrash metal) or Johnny Rotten singing "Nesun Dorma".

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Maryrrf
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 09:03 AM

The Lawrence Welk show keeps coming up on this thread. My whole family - grandma, grampa, mom, dad and the kids all watched the Lawrence Welk show when it used to come on. I can't remember if I actually enjoyed it or not, but they sure did. Every now and then I catch the reruns on television AND I JUST CAN'T BELEIVE HOW HORRIBLE MOST OF THOSE ACTS WERE! Corny doesn't begin to describe them. But then again, I feel the same way whenever I happen to turn on MTV - corny doesn't describe it, but horrible usually does! Worst (real)cover that I can think of - Reba McIntyre doing "Kathy's Clown". I don't much care for the original but when she does it it's like chalk on a blackboard - Kayyyythheeeyys Claaaayoooooowwwnnn in a whiny exaggerated southern accent.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 12:05 PM

Anyone remember Rick Moranis' nightclub version of Turning Japanese on SCTV?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,Den at work
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 12:23 PM

Personally I'd like to see Ian Paisley doing "Seasons in the Sun" or Metallica doing "Honey". Den

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: JenEllen
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 12:40 PM

LOL Leej....I really think so...
~J

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Justa Picker
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 12:50 PM

Yes LEJ!
I also nominate his cover of The Doors "Touch Me".

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 01:48 PM

Celine Dionne and Paul Anka doing a duet of "How You Make Me Quiver" or whatever the hell it's called...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: JenEllen
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 02:10 PM

McGrath, I don't know that I'd go so far as to say that Americans are tolerant, but there does seem to be a real love affair with truly bad music. We've produced so very much of it, and the possibilities for more are endless. Think of all the bad decisions, everything from Manifest Destiny to RuPaul? Work it, baby, work it. Perhaps the New Colossus shoud have read: 'Give me your tired, your poor, your tone-deaf/Your huddled masses yearning to make asses of themselves/The wretched refuse recorded for posterity'...you get the idea. *g*

That in mind, some fantasy covers:
The Grehan Sisters doing the Foo Fighters "Monkeywrench"
Charlotte Church (or better yet! That little Gilman spawn) singing "White Wedding"

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 02:12 PM

McCauley Culkin doing an Elvis tribute album.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: JenEllen
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 03:23 PM

Grandpa Jones singing "Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap)"

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 03:27 PM

Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston teaming up on a Christmas album.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 03:51 PM

Johnny Cash and what's her name -- the mindless one -- Britney Speers- - covering "True Love, True Love, Love Foreeeever True...."

Amos and katlaughing covering Frank Sinatra's "She May Be Weary..." .

Catspaw 49 and Le Mannequin Pise doing barbershop on "Know When to Hold 'Em...Know When to Fold 'Em".

The real names of these songs have been altered to protect the innocuous! :>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: johnross
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 06:02 PM

I actually own this one: Alistair Cooke singing "Basin Street Blues".

It's not nearly as bad as it sounds like it ought to be.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 06:22 PM

Worst I've ever heard of a Beatles song was on Wyoming Public Radio this week: Kenny Neal doing Revolution on The Blues White Album. I saw this thread just as it came on. Was so disgusted I practiclaly threw my radio across the room and couldn't even look at this thread! Truly horribulus!!

WPR plays mostly covers. We think they only get the "C" list of new releases because most of it is baaadd. The only good time is one guy who does a bluegrass show on Saturdays and it's only good because he plays Art Thieme a lot!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 09 Mar 02 - 02:10 AM

Some bad covers I really heard on public radio were either the Robert Shaw Chorale, or the Norman Luboff choir covering two Willie Dixon songs, "I'm Ready" and "Feel Like Making Love." Both had the drums,with brushes sound, and electric guitar that was sounding too clean.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: michaelr
Date: 13 Mar 02 - 07:55 PM

Here's a top contender I heard on the radio today:

Van Morrison, "O Shenandoah" (really!), from the new Chieftains album. BAAAD! It's a 40-year celebration CD featuring lots of collaborations, and when I hear more of it I'm sure there'll be more fodder for this thread.

The `Tains actually do a good job backing Joni Mitchell on her "Magdalen Laundries". Great song, but her voice is GONE. Sad...

Michael

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Ian Darby
Date: 13 Mar 02 - 09:01 PM

Don't know if anybody's already mentioned this, but I've heard it twice on Radio One Ireland's "Mystery Train" programme which is always worth a listen.

There is a version of 'The Homes of Donegal' sung entirely in Japanese by a Japanese singer.

I don't know if its good or bad, but I find it strangely compelling.... (Think what The Rocky Road To Dublin Would Sound Like)

If anybody else has heard it please let me know, I just want to make sure I'm not hearing more than the usual voices in my head.

(I'd definitely buy the album if I could find it)

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: johnross
Date: 14 Mar 02 - 03:21 PM

Another gem from my shelves:

Chubby Checker: Chubby's Folk Album (Parkway P-7040).

Or if that's not enough, look for the New Christy Minstrels' version of "Alice's Restaurant."

[shudder]

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 14 Mar 02 - 03:42 PM

Madonna- "American Pie", WIlliam Shatner singing. Period. Rosanne Barr doing "The Star Spangled Banner" (If you think I'm joking, sadly, I am not) Pat Boone doing Ozzie Osborne music, Leonard Nimoy singing. Kindest regards, Neil

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,SlickerBill
Date: 14 Mar 02 - 05:40 PM

Another SCTV bit; Rick Moranis as Mel Torme doing the Star Spangelled Banner. Thus: "Oh say can you seebeedeebeedee?" Perfect. I think he even slides into Chattanooga Choo-Choo for a verse.

I remember robin Williams suggesting Beverly Sills doing "Daya Think I'm Sexy?". SB

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: RangerSteve
Date: 14 Mar 02 - 07:33 PM

a group of late country singers (Hank Williams, Patsy Cline, Roy Acuff, Grandpa Jones, Stringbean, Bill Monroe, Maybelle Carter) taking turns (ala "Feed the World") with "I'm Too Sexy".

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: dwditty
Date: 14 Mar 02 - 09:27 PM

How about Neil Diamond doing I am...I Said....ooops, not a cover. He wrote the stupid song complaining that the furniture wouldn't talk to him.

dw

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 02 - 09:46 PM

Yes, and the chair would no doubt have written a superior rebuttal had it been able to...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,vegge
Date: 14 Mar 02 - 10:17 PM

Nico's version of My Funny Valentine is the best

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 02 - 10:23 PM

The scene: Kris Kristofferson is on a massive drunk, so drunk he can barely stagger onstage. He decides to cover one of his own early hits...and screws up the words...resulting in...

The Worst Of All Possible Covers

I was runnin' thru a patch of rain, try'n' to catch a snatch of Spain
And kill the old familiar pain a-weavin' thru my tangled brain
When I tipped my bottle back and smacked into a cop I didn't see
That police man said, "Mister Cool, if you ain't drunk, then you're a fool."
I said, "If that's against the law, then tell me why I never saw
A man locked in that jail of yours who wasn't neither black or poor as me?"
Well, that was when someone turned out the lights
And I wound up in jail to spend the night
And dream of all the wine and lonely lovers
In this worst of all possible covers.

(That don't sound right?...is there somethin' wrong with this F-in mike? Huh? Oh...)

Well, I woke up next mornin' feelin' like my head was gone
And like my thick old tongue was lickin' something sick and wrong
And I told that man I'd sell my soul for something wet and cold as that old cell.
That kindly jailer grinned at me, all eaten up with sympathy
Then poured himself another beer and came and whispered in my ear,
"If booze was just a dime a bottle boy, you couldn't even buy the smell"
I said, "I knew there was something I liked about this town."
But it takes more than that to bring me down, down, down.
'Cause there's still a lot of wine and lonely lovers
In this worst of all possible (hic!) covers

(*Shit, it still don't sound right. What verse are we on... Right. Wa-a-al, shit...*) (*Urp!!!)

Well, they finally came and told me they was a gonna set me free
And I'd be leavin' town if I knew what was good for me
I said, "It's nice to learn that ev'rybody's so concerned about my health."
(God knows, it could be better...)
I said, "I won't be leavin' no more quicker than I can
'Cause I've enjoyed about as much of this as I can stand
And I don't need this town of yours more than I never needed nothin' else."
'Cause there's still alot of drinks that I ain't drunk
And lots of pretty thoughts that I ain't thunk
And lord there's still so many lonely lovers
In this worst of all possible covers
Now I think my tale of woe is almost done
I think my weary race is almost run, run, run
But there's still a lot of wine and lonely lovers
In this worst of all possible covers.

(*Jee-SUS, that's it! I declare this gig over as of NOW. Who the hell took my F-in DRINK!!!)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Mickey191
Date: 14 Mar 02 - 11:53 PM

Right on Little Hawk. Kristopherson was on the other night and it was embarrasing. He ought to give it up & concentrate on writing. How about Johnny Mathis doing "You're having my baby." Peter T, "Danny Boy" by Krall is an abomination. It is the worst thing I've ever heard. I'd love to know whose idea it was to put the song & her together.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Jeremiah McCaw
Date: 16 Mar 02 - 09:51 AM

All of us have crosses to bear. We all have paid our dues one way or another. In my case, it was many years ago, watching the Mike Douglas Show (afternoon talk show). I was witness to William Shatner performing Dylan's "Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man". Really. Imagine a darkened set, a single spotlight, a white 2&1/2 foot cube with Shatner sitting on the floor leaning against it, his face and arm raised in supplication and reciting . . .

I seem to recall an artistically-torn shirt, but that may have been a flashback to every other Star Trek episode

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Mar 02 - 03:26 PM

Jeremiah, you are S-O-O-O-O-O lucky! I didn't get to see that show with the lengendary William Shatner, but I did get to see Kristofferson do a show at the Riverboat in Toronto once where he was so hung over that he cancelled it halfway through, apologized to the audience, and refunded everyone's money (paying the entire tab himself). True story. As a matter of fact, it's in the Guinness Book of Records, I think, but I don't recall under what category. I saw it in some book like that anyway, and thought "Hey! I was there!"

That incident gave me some inspiration for composing the "Worst of all Possible Covers" episode above...using the lyrics to Kristofferson's song "The Best Of All Possible Worlds", of course.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,Wa Ban Zhou
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 02:13 PM

I don't know if this counts, but being woken up at 5:00am every morning at my Chinese school by an instrumental version of "Sexual Healing", that starts out, just like Marvin Gaye "wake up,wake up...." played through a bad P.A. system and a cracked speaker, followed by " the March of the Heroic Red Army"....yeah that was pretty bad. A lot of my Chinese friends are very fond of John Denver, and will bust out with a version of "Country Roads" or "Rocky Mountain High" any old time. Or ask me to sing it for them, which is even worse.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Rolfyboy6
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 05:00 PM

I've actually got it on a record.

Waylon Jennings doing "MacArthur Park." That manly Texas baritone cracks on "Someone left the cake out in the R-a-I-n".

It was before the 'Outlaw' thing and they were trying to sell him as black-leather-hair-grease-relevance to a sensitive socially relevant female audience. I have no idea why 'MacArthur Park' was considered sensitive and socially relevant. Does anybody have any idea what that song was about? It's always on the ten worst song lists.

I should apologize for posting thisNo More Mr. Nice Guy And then there are "The Shaggs"

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 07:31 PM

Rolfyboy, how could you!!! MacArthur Park is one of the most deeply meaningful, sensitive, and relevant songs ever. It's a brilliantly written allegory about a lost love, a failed romance (the "cake" in question being the romance or relationship that has gone down the tube).

It got left out in the rain. It's ruined. The icing is dissolving and running down. And WORST of all, the poor heartbroken soul relating this sad story will "never have that recipe again". In other words..she's-a gone for good.

'Ey, You don't-a gotta be a rocket scientist to figure out-a dat one!

Hearing Waylon Jennings do it must be an uncanny experience...only to be exceeded should William Shatner decide to cover it.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: YOR
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 09:20 PM

Bob Dylan singing "Blowing in the Wind".

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 09:34 PM

Now you're getting nasty...I've heard him sing it at least 25 quite radically different ways, solo and with band, so which rendition are you referring to?

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: John Hindsill
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 09:42 PM

Any song James Taylor sings done by anybody else first, especially Handyman and Don't Know Much About Geography (also known as Don't Know Much About Singing).

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: YOR
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 11:46 PM

Little Hawk, It was a Joke! And a short commentary about the growl'ly voice. I saw Dylan about 20 years ago and I always tell people he was great, but "The Band" was better.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Knitpick
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 01:25 AM

Someone mentioned the Star-Spangled Banner:

"I don't know if this counts as a cover - but from what I've heard on the telly, it seems any performer booked to sing the Star Spangled Banner on a public occasion appears compelled to try to sing it even worse than all the others."

Which brings me to one of my pet peeves. In the DC area, we have a baseball team situated in the city to the north, Baltimore, where the "O's" are beloved. Due to the machinations of the owner, DC has no team of its own, nor much chance of getting one.

This is background to the fact that, when singing the National Anthem, the crowd at O's games -- AND DC CROWDS, TOO, DAMMIT! -- sings the "Oh" ("Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner ....") loudly, sometimes being the only word you can hear the crowd itself singing. The song is hard to sing, and it's pro forma at public events, but damn it, it's not for cheering on a money-grubbing millionaire's bread-and-circus product, either! Popular culture has a lot to answer for!


Bob (ticked off? Me?) Clayton

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: John Hardly
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 09:03 AM

John Hidsill,
You won't get too much agreement on your perspective re:JT and covers (or whether he sings well) but at least it got your post noticed.

My least favortie cover ever was possibly Rita Coolidge's redo of Jackie Wilson's "Higher and Higher". Wison was elecrifying, after listening to Coolidge my heart needed a restart with those eletric paddle thingys they use in ER

.....CLEAR!!!

not truly covers, rather redos--the most mismatched performances I ever witnessed --

1.Aretha Franklin and James Taylor doing a duet of "Shed a Little Light" at one of the inaugural balls 1997

2.John Mellencamp and Paul Simon duet for a R&R special -- the Boxer never sounded so pitiful.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Genie
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 02:42 PM

Last night on the TV show "Boston Public," there was a rendition of "Try A Little Tenderness," in which the hip-hop/soul/ R&B stylings of the (female) singers were so pronounced that the beautiful TUNE of the original song was TOTALLY LOST! (and, I should add, replaced with a sound-just-like-all-other-contemporary-hip-hop/R&B collection of notes, complete with unnecessary mellisma!

GAWD! If you're gonna change the tune to a standard, at least give it a new TUNE.

(The singers' voices were lovely, but I hate to see a good tune assassinated, no matter how great the vocal talent.)

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 10:10 PM

This thread has been a truly spellbinding experience. We should have the basis here to compile a "Worst Covers of All Time" series for K-tel to flog on nationwide TV. I figure at least a 10 CD set...

I agree that Rita Coolidge's version of "Higher and Higher" is pretty pallid. She's got a fine voice, but seemingly no edge whatsoever...more suitable to some songs than to others.

Good joke, Yor! I wasn't quite sure what you meant. Was it on the 1974 tour that you saw Bob? He just kind of roared through the songs on that one...not his best concerts by a long shot, but he was returning to the stage after a long layoff at that point, and his performances were quite stiff. I've seen him do way, way better since. The Band was a superb backup on that tour.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Rolfyboy6
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 12:28 AM

I'd like to thank Little Hawk for explaining "MacArthur Park" to me. I'm sure this will materially increase the esteem with which he is regarded. Expertise is always admired. It's good to know that there is someone who can explain something like that. I won't expect too much of my new hero, for who could explain things like Julio Iglesias or imitation dessert toppings.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 11:34 AM

A few years ago a local DJ did a complete show of covers of "Werewolves of London" in a variety of languages and styles. The Horror!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,levinrec
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 11:47 AM

The worst i have heard is Faith Hill's cover of janice joplins "piece of my heart". She took a rockin' blues tune and turned it into some kind of county crap.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: YOR
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 12:48 PM

Little Hawk, Yes it was the 1974 tour (20 years yeah, someday I'll learn to add and subtract). Great show the sound was fantastic, too many shows are ruined by crappy sound. Long show, no backup band, only "The Band". They only used white lights and candles, nice atmosphere.

One of the local radio stations started playing "The Star Spangled Banner" everyday at noon after Sept 11 (and since). That got a little old very quickly. I brown bag it most of the time so I get to miss it (yeah). They played many different versions like Jimi Hendrix (of course), Boston, Springsteen and local guy Paul Reed Smith. Wish I could remember more, I'll check the website.

I nominate Faith Hill "If I Should Fall Behind".

Roy

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,Declan
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 12:56 PM

I don't believe no one has mentioned Rolf Harris' version of Stariway to Heaven yet on this.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,MudWeasel
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 01:29 PM

In the movie "Michael Collins" the director decided to have Julia Roberts sing "She Moved Through the Fair". Too bad Julia couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. It was the most painful 20 minutes of what was otherwise a great movie. (OK, it only seemed like 20 minutes.)
Honestly, the worst covers are when it was a good song to start with, and some talentless hack ruins it.

-MudWeasel

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: GUEST,AR282
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 02:05 PM

I was going to mention Roseanne's "Star Spangled Banner" but someone beat me to it. But then according to Johnny Carson, she was actually mouthing along to the sound of a goat being neutered.

Well, there was Pat Boone's cover of Judas Priest's "You Got Another Thing Comin'".

Who did that horrible cover of "Whiter Shade of Pale"?

There was that Lord's Prayer that Cliff Richard did to the tune of "Auld Lang Syne". That nearly made me grab a high-powered rifle and sit out on a freeway overpass.

Finally, anyone who picks on Shonen Knife, whose covers are the best, is no friend of mine and obviously has no sense of humor or style. You could probably listen to Portsmouth Sinfonia without cracking up. Now, if they did "How It Makes Me Quiver" or whatever it's called THEN you'd have a point. But then some songs are so bad they suck no matter who covers it.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 10:19 PM

Rolfyboy6 - LOL! It's nice to see I'm finally getting the respect I deserve around here...stay tuned for my full analysis on Julio anytime soon! (I routinely defend MacArthur Park anytime it comes up on this forum, just to be annoying...)

Declan - Yes, but William Shatner has not recorded "Stairway to Heaven" yet...so hang on to your hat. The worst is yet to come. It is my fond hope that with funds generated by the WSSBA we may yet succeed in persuading the Great One to cover a good many of the songs listed on this thread. When he covers 'em, they stay covered.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Genie
Date: 21 Mar 02 - 12:46 AM

Didn't John Ashcroft recently release a CD of popular and c/w songs or something? I heard/saw a clip on TV recently, and it was purty baaaaad, but I can't remember what song he was singing? Anyone else catch it?

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Mar 02 - 12:36 PM

Bill Clinton singing that dreadful Paul Anka song "One Man Woman" would be pretty mesmerizing...

Actually, Bill Clinton doing any Paul Anka song...("Havin' My Baby", "My Way"...AAAARGGGGHHH!)

Bill could do saxophone solos between verses too.

While I'm at it, I want to nominate Paul Anka for contributing the most consistently annoying body of songs ever penned by one writer in history!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: John Hardly
Date: 21 Mar 02 - 04:32 PM

"While I'm at it, I want to nominate Paul Anka for contributing the most consistently annoying body of songs ever penned by one writer in history!" -LH

Sorry, but he'd have to compete with my nominee Lobo and I'm pretty sure your guy's gonna lose this one!

when I saw you standing there.....I 'bout fell off my chair....

Subject: RE: BS: Worst of All Possible Covers???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Mar 02 - 05:48 PM

Lobo, is it? Gotta be a country singer with lyrics like that...

- LH

Subject: RE: Worst of All Possible Covers?
From: GUEST,Lash LaRue
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 09:04 PM

Tom Jones doing a TV performance of "Get Back."
"Jo-Jo left his home in TUKSON Arizona.

Lash LaRue

Subject: RE: Worst of All Possible Covers?
From: Smokey.
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 11:18 PM

I once heard a recording of someone doing "Albatross" on an accordion, I forget who it was but it was one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard. It may have been done as a joke I suppose - I hope so..

Subject: RE: Worst of All Possible Covers?
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 02:24 PM

One of the worst covers of all time was Slim Whitman yodeling "It's A Small World After All". It is truely horrid.

Subject: RE: Worst of All Possible Covers?
From: frogprince
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 08:33 PM

Lets see if I catch some flack for this. I know I stumbled on a video, that looked to be relatively recent, of Bob Dylan singing "Shake Sugaree" I was sure it was on yewtewb, but can't find it now to link it. Anyhow, to my ear, it was abominable .