BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 03:42 PM

Shane has a talent for pissing people off. You could say that he is an expert at that, in fact. He still carries a lot of respect for Officer Dana, though, so I'm thinking he may have a change of heart in awhile.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 04:50 PM

Well, he'd best get on with it. She wasn't this pissed off when Geezer George dropped a lit cigar into the Fourth-of-July fireworks collection and blew up the emergency six months' booze supply.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 12:29 PM

Did we ever solve which was the 'real' Shane - you know, the one that really exists and really lives in Blind River, breathes real air and all that?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 08:22 AM

That's ME, you flippin' bolthole! And I'm flippin' stuck in flippin' Amsterflippindam and some guy is pretending to be me so he can, you know, sponge off my brother Don and drink my beer. I gotta get back to Ontario! This place is starting to suck, especially since I don't have any flippin' money! I went to the Canadian Consulate and you know what they said? They said that their flippin' records showed I was a Trappist monk! I told them I wasn't doing that anymore and they asked for my passport! I told them that the Trappists still had it and they said that meant I was still a flippin' monk!

When I get back somebody's going to flippin' PAY!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 08:37 AM

Hmmm. Well, that certainly sounds like Shane. I'm puzzled by the whole situation. The guy in Blind River sounds like Shane too.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 12:19 PM

What we need is an internet version of "To Tell the Truth"

Did that show air anywhere but the USA?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 01:42 PM

I won't be around this evening as I'm going to a 'storytelling cafe'. Do they have these where you are?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 02:28 PM

Would one of you flippin' boltholes give me some flippin' ADVISE? I don't want to be a mokn anymore. I flippin' DID that and it sucked. How do I get out of Amsterflippindam? They won't give me anymore cridet down at the flippin' bars!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 03:00 PM

Hey Shane, are you sure you are in Holland and not in Vancouver?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 06:44 PM

The flipface who is pretendin' to be me must be a toatal idiot, eh? Who esel would go to be a fillpin' Trappist monk??? I flippin' ASK you? Who would? There aint' a dog in this town dumb enuff to do that, let alone a flippin' human bein who would be such a total flippin' idiot!

Monks don't have much fun. They only get to drink alter wine and they hardly ever get any sex...well, leastways not with WOMEN anyways, eh?!!! Know'm sayin'? Bing! Got my flippin' drift on that one?

and they hafta where them stoopid flippin' robes all the time! Wow, talk about bad faschen sense, eh? Pa-flippin'-THET-ic is what I call it.

The retread who says he is me is a flippin' liar! I bet he aint' in Dutchland at all, eh? I bet he is not too far away. Maybe he is in Wawa becoz Wawa is fulla retreads and idiots. There are a lotta guys in Wawa who have herad of me and they all wish they WAS me, eh? Ya know why? Becoz I am cool and I am the flippin' champ when it comes to drinkin', smokin' dope,and gettin' the good lookin' babes every time! That is why they all want to be me.

This diphead has got a bad case of green thumb for Shane McBride envy. That's all their is to it. He is just anuther loozer who wishes he was a winner....like me.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 08:10 PM

So, "Shane"...what did you win?

By the way, Colonel-General Smyte-Withers has contacted the Ontario Provincial Police about you. Man, she is pissed off!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 08:20 AM

Listen, you flippin' stink covered scum ball, when I get back the Blind River you are gonna wihs you were never born! I'm going to pull off your flippin' arms and legs and make you EAT them, you idenity theif! And you stay away from my beer and my stash, too! So you better go get some barbque sause 'cause I got tickets back to CANADA! from the Consulate! and when I get back to flippin' Blind River from flippin' Halifax you're going to PAY, bolthole!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 08:23 AM

So Shane(?), when is your flight due in? I want to be there for that.

IWTATBM, heard any good stories lately?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 11:35 AM

It would seem that the best stories are to be found on the 85 Billion thread KB.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 03:33 PM

Chap sounds a bit angry, no?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 03:54 PM

He'll be OK. Besides, he's right, if you want stories, we got 'em.


I just wish some of our GUEST's would come back. There have been quite a few drop by to say hello and then they drift back into the shadows.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 04:20 PM

I think Rapaire was referring to BDiBR KB. I'm always happy me. You're right about our GUESTS - none have become regulars of late. You know what we need don't you? A recruitment campaign! Suggestions via post c/o the 85 Billion thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 04:40 PM

It didn't occur to me that Rapaire would be talking about BDRiBR being angry because he has been angry a lot lately. He didn't used to be angry so often, he must be out of money for booze. Or maybe, there really is only one and he really is PO'ed about an imposter. I get so confused, and I was just starting to feel like I had this figured out. Back to the drawing board.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 05:42 PM

EAT ME you flippin' corkpuller!!!!!!!!!!!! If you are dumb enuff to show up anywheres around here you are even dummer than I think! I will flippin' mortalize you, you bolthole! Go back to the flippin' monks, idiot-boy!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 07:51 AM

This could be interesting. "Shane" battling "Shane," the battle of the century. No holds barred.

"Laideez and Gennilmin! In this corner, quivering and whimpering from fear, SHANE MCBRIDE! And in this corner, posturing but knees trembling, his opponent, SHANE MCBRIDE! Both have threatened to totally destroy each other, to rip each other to...what's this? They each have beer! They're drinking together! I've never seen so much beer poured down two throats to fast! Laideez and Gennilmen, they've both passed out cold! At the same time! The Referee is counting them BOTH out! This fight is OVER!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 08:19 AM

I want to be there when the two of them get together. Whatever direction the encounter takes it is guaranteed to be entertaining. Just watching them pass out side by side would be worth the price of admission (assuming the tickets are free), and if they were to blow chunks first, whoo doggee, grab an umbrella!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 11:42 AM

Only I ain't in flippin' Amersterflippindam OR Haliflippinfax! I'm on flippin' BOAT! A flippin' ICEBREAKER on the way to flippin' LABRADOR! And the Coast Gard is makin' me WORK my way back to flippin' CANADA!

There I am, boarding the boat, lookin' for the flippin' bar, and this woman comes up. And she, like, looks pretty good and she asks me if I need help and I say, "YEAH! I need the kinda help you acn give!" and the next thing I'm up in front of this other woman, only she's got, like, lots of gold stripes. And it turns out that I'm flippin' SUPERCARGO and I gotta work my way back to Canada CLEANING TOILETS for these boltholes and there is NO BEER and NO DOPE on board! and they call the toilets "heads" and so I'm the Head Head Cleaner and everybody FLIPPIN' LAFF AT ME!

You just wait til I get back to Blind River! I gotta git off this right now becuase I can only use it for so much time each day. Its worse than the flippin' public liberry!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 04:40 PM

Recruitment idea:

All regulars to post on another thread, encouraging a visit to the 85 billion thread. The regular (i.e. anyone who has posted here more than once) who gets the most new posters will win this newly created award: "Recruiter of the Month". They will then be able to officially put RM after their name for the following month. Nb. Any new poster must say "xxxxx asked me to post here" or words to this effect to avoid fights over who recruited them. This will be a short month but who cares. We can start now.

I have noticed from past experience that everyone (well almost everyone) ignores my good ideas and want you to know that I find this very hurtful. Once I nearly left over it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 08:17 PM

I thought that you were going to suggest a way to recruit people like Shane into the Canadian Coast Guard.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 08:40 PM

Hey...phony guy.... You are FLIPPED, man! Har! Har! You are goin' to get so flippin' seasick on that boat that you will wish you was flippin' Dead, eh? Meenwhiles I will be tossin' back shooters at the Iron Horse Tavern and beatin' off hot babes with a stick. And I mean a BIG stick, eh? Know'm sayin', retread? You are soooo flippin' flipped. I bet you don't even live long enuff to bend down and kiss the flippin' grownd when you finally reach Labarador. Har! Har! Clean them toilets, dipwad, cos you are gonna be prayin' at the flippin' porsellin alter! LMFAO!

- Shane

p.s. If you flippin' live...meet me in back of the Blind River Tim Horton's and I will settle yer flippin' problem once and fer all. You will know me cos I will be wearin' the hat that says...."I'M WITH THE IDIOT ->" (meanin' whoever I'm with)(I know a lot of idiiots)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 08:51 PM

Has anyone considered that there is only one Shane, but he is psychologically "interesting"? That he is, perhaps, a seaman in the Coast Guard or the Navy and the Blind River bit is his way of escaping from what his mind (such as it is) considers an intolerable situation? Or that he is a trapper, alone in a cabin in the upper reaches of the NWT or the Yukon, who has slipped a few cogs and actually believes that he is on a Coast Guard icebreaker and in Blind River?

It would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 12:50 PM

I had wondered about a possible "Sybil" thing going on with Shane. If it is true it brings up a question about what will happen if the "Two Shanes" were to meet up, will 'they' have to drink twice as much before 'they' pass out?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 03:12 PM

Or would they destroy each other, like a positron and an electron?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 04:46 PM

They might meld together in a tremendous flash of light and emerge as...Superhoser!!! Able to chug an entire truckload of Canadian beer in a single gulp! Able to offend uncountable numbers of women without hardly even trying! Able to get arrested in 10 seconds or less for petty infractions of the law that on one else was stupid enough to even think of doing!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 08:12 PM

Wow! A whole new adventure series: SuperHoser In Toronto!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 09:27 PM

Yeah, eh? Just the sort of challenge the Toronto cops need on a dull day. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 08:30 AM

Look! Up in the sky! It's...wait, no, don't look! It's SuperHoser In Toronto and he's had WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much beer!

I told you not to look. And you should have carried an umbrella.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 08:36 AM

So is SuperHoser in Toronto because Blind River can't contain him in all his glory?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 01:44 PM

NOTHING can contain SuperHoser! He's unstoppable, incomprehensible, unaccountable, and insufferable!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 02:24 PM

I imagine him something like this

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 03:05 PM

Well! The Mudcat gremlins ate my response, which was "I called him SuperHoser In Toronto because that was all I could think of to get the correct acronym."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 03:08 PM

Perfect. Hey, it's great to see Wonder Warthog! I Hadn't seen him in many years.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 03:13 PM

Yeah, from time to time I've wondered how he was doing myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 03:15 PM

So here's the idea. We get Jo Offer to rename the thread the 'All New 85 Billion Thread'? Whadya say?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 03:22 PM

That doesn't have a good acronym.

I was thinking about acronyms for the Two Shanes.

Shanes Have It Together

and another one (it was better, too) that I don't remember now, maybe I will post it later if it comes back to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 04:57 PM

Does it have to have a good acronym? Is that what people want these days? No acronym but this could be catchy: "Feel the Jive on the 85 Live". We might have to drop the billion though, would that matter?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 08:13 PM

Yes, but KB is in Iowa and that simply cannot be said to be "living." (I know, I've been to Iowa many times and got out alive.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 08:18 PM

Is it as bad as Nevada?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 08:39 PM

Worse. Far, far worse. Worse even than Idaho, where at least we have the Legion.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 08:58 PM

Wow. That is downright terrifying.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 10:41 AM

It's not for the weak of heart, I can tell you that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 04:10 PM

Oh,

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 04:11 PM

I'll

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 04:11 PM

grab

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 04:11 PM

1500 just for the hell of it.