2005 Getaway Reflections Here...

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: skarpi
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 07:13 PM

Halló all, Annie thanks for the pictures, I can´t wait to see more from others , since I " Forgot my camera In Iceland " &%%&"#$#%&"#%&&
so all the best Skarpi Iceland.,

Shy hmmmmmmmm , been there , done that , but not anymore.
Love you all,,,,,,

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: jacqui.c
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 07:15 PM

I know that there were quite a number of shy people at the Getaway this year. I was one of them, but a few years ago I decided that, unless I got past that problem I was not going to enjoy life to the full. It takes a while, mostly, for me to really open up but the Getaway is one of the few places where I do not have that problem.

I agree with Ebbie's post but would add that it is sometimes not enough just to strike up conversations with others and expect to be magically included in. You have to put yourself out to include yourself in - join in the music, sing a song or play a tune, even if you don't think that you are very good.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Leadfingers
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 07:48 PM

In Common with a LOT of 'performers' I am another Over-Compensated Introvert , and always find the first song VERY difficult when I am gigging , so I usually start with the Second one !

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Maryrrf
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 07:54 PM

I also understand how you feel, shy guest. There is nothing more difficult than being in a big gathering where many people already know each other. I'm shy too - well, shy of talking to strangers but after forcing myself to sing in front of people for many years I'm not shy about that - you could say I've mostly overcome my stage fright. But it is daunting and difficult to be in a large group of people - such as at a cocktail party, office gathering, etc. The Getaway was friendlier than must such events because everybody was at least united by a love of folk music. I came with a friend (who didn't know anybody) and I had met a few people from FSGW and sort of knew at least who many of the Mudcatters were, mostly from lurking and occasionally posting on Mudcat. I found that being even slightly known on Mudcat that made me less of a stranger. Might I suggest that you quietly start posting on Mudcat and then at the next gathering make sure people are aware that you are a 'Catter, and communicate to them your Mudcat name? That might help. Good luck and I hope you will come to the next Getaway.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 08:16 PM

Maryrrf, after seeing Lorcan's pictures on his flickr Photopage thread, I now know who you are. You have a beautiful voice.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 08:53 PM

Shy person, are you in the habit of approaching a group of people who are in a discussion about a particular subject, and horning in with a question that is in no way relevent?

I sometimes have the opposite problem. There are times when I need to be left alone and the only way I can do that is to hide somewhere. I get "over peopled" and I have to get away. I love the people who love me, but the problem is ME not them. Owning the problem is the first step in dealing with it. As Pogo said "We have met the enemy, and he is US"

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Barry Finn
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 10:01 PM

Hi to all, including the shy ones. The FSGWer's, Mudcatter's, Britt's & all other folkies, everywhere(a little Tiny Tim'ish, it was like Xmas in heaven though). 1st off I need to thank mostly Charlie Baum & Rita, Carly & Nancy among the 4 of you, you pulled off a wicked Grand Slam. Thanks to you too Charlie Noble (your spare key's in the mail tomorrow) for being captain of the Van Pool & taking on Justine & me as crew, it was a fantastic voyage. Couldn't care less about the food, with my 2 bad feet I'd climbed a mountain & ate shit all the way up in order to arrive, it was worth all that & more. I don't like the 'I liked this & I liked that' because with a lousy memory I can't remember who did what & who didn't, knowing I'm leaving some out & I also don't want some others to feel left out, mostly I'd just like to thank some poeople. Colleen Cleveland thanks for joining me in the ballad's workshop, your name should have been foremost & thanks for your CD. I'm positive your Grandmother Sara would've been so proud to see/hear you really carrying on her traditional family tradition as a source singer & in keeping her songs & collections alive. From listening to you explain & sing her ballads you really do her & the folk world justice. Here's to you Dan Schatz for your truthful commenting when I asked about my voice, it was quite helpful. I was planning on trying to sing just a few songs to see how things went & thought I was pretty much out of the game, to my ear any way. I very much lacked in my ability to sing but was surprised that I was found to be fairly appreciated, I really did think that people where just being kind with the comments, thanks for the reassurances. Truthfully 3 days at the Getaway did more for my voice (& me) than the past 3 months of recuperating. George "El Greco", I'm glad you commented on appreciating my song ('You Wouldn't Know It To Look At Me' or 'These Ol Walls'?), that meant a lot when coming from someone as yourself, IMHO a very talented genius, you're a very nice human. I've been telling Justine, since my 1st getaway (1999 or 2000??) about Rubber Ducky (Justine's been in Child Care all her adult life & it's time she learned something appropriate to sing) & Janice Cole's impeccable & sexy rendition of it. NOBODY DOES THIS LIKE JANICE. Thanks Janice for answering my request as well as others who also requested it. It was great to meet, see & hear so many new & old bodies (I don't mean those under 7 & over 70, only, either). One thing! Micca, you introduced me to your wife, thank you but you didn't tell me she was catsPHiddle, thank Christ I found out before I left, nice to have finally met you catsPHiddle. I guess that the most smashing time for me was singing "Won't You Help Me To Raise E'm" in concert with Ken, Jeri & the Tremendous Theresa T. Theresa you only pinched the left side of my bum on stage the other side now feel's left out. It was getting close for me, if not depressing, not getting to hear Ron Davies sing (I tried to request him at a circle but it didn't pan out) thru out the Getaway but ah, Sunday I got to hear him rooling & drooling, always liked that man's singing & his politics. Once again thanks to all the FSGWer's for once more opening up your house, hearts & homes to all of us who would never had experienced such a musical miracle if it weren't for you. I know that each of us has something to offer whether it's performing or conducting workshops or leading/following in jams & swaps & those that just appreciate, hell you appreciators are probably the most important element. With out you we way as well go home & sing to ourselves, thak you. Out of all the events I've ever been to your Getaway would be 1st & foremost on my list to attend & I'm deeply grateful for your welcoming of each of us & all others. THANKS.


P.S.

This was my wife's (Justine) 1st getaway thanks to all of you for making her feel welcomed & so at home, she had quite a spectacular time.


Lot's of love, all around

Barry Finn

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: KT
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 10:15 PM

Shy person, I'm shy too, sometimes, especially in new situations where I know few people. Last year was my first Getaway. I knew only one other person when I got there, (Ebbie), but was so excited to meet those I'd become familiar with through their writing here. I think going into a situation like that requires trust. Trust of one another. I so believed in the goodness of the folks there and in our common bond of music. I expected good and was not disappointed.

I told a little story last year which I'll repeat here. When my son came home from his first day of Kindergarten, we had this conversation.

How was your first day of school, son?
It was good.
Do you have any friends in your class?
Yes, Mommy. I have two friends that I know, and a WHOLE BUNCH of friends that I don't know yet.

That's precisely how I felt at the Getaway last year, and again this year. The place was full of friends, some that I knew and some that I've not had the pleasure of meeting yet. And I didn't meet a single one that I didn't like!!! Keep trying shy person, and do come back next year.

KT

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: KT
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 10:34 PM

LEJ,

WOW!!!!

Your words open my heart, make me smile and make me cry at the same time.

Thanks for the picture and for blessing me with your beautiful words!

KT

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Amos
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 11:58 PM

There are a few more pics from the Getaway on this page -- I am too fumble-thumbed to get them to go in with the set Lorcan started, but at least they're there!

LEJ-- as usual man. I am getting the idea that all I need to do if I want to see a bullseye is whisper your name to the West wind...


A

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Ron Davies
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 12:20 AM

Barry--

I am so amazed you wanted to hear me sing. I remember last year or maybe 2 years ago when the late-night session was in full chantey mode--and you were just peeling the wallpaper off with one chantey after another (I still especially really love the Yangtse River one) ---and I was so intimidated I couldn't imagine trying to follow you. I just hoped you'd keep singing them all night--and I just about got my wish.

I suppose it boils down to--anybody can be shy about performing--and it's really hard to think about leading a song as not including at least an element of that. I suppose that's why I like harmonizing so much--it helps the sound but you're not personally on the spot.

It's also a factor that a lot of the songs I most like to sing are in fact British songs--and I suspected strongly that all we had to do was wait and some of the UK contingent would sing them. But I was only partly right about that.

Oh well, I keep telling Jan to never assume anything---and I should take my own advice.

Anyway, it was great to hear you sing--and especially to hear how your voice strengthened throughout the weekend. Hope you're back to 100% soon. Nobody does those chanteys with as much vigor and excitement as you.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: GUEST,Janie
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 12:43 AM

Still can't get Annie's new pictures. When I click on more photos it just goes to a new blank page. Not getting the little x's to click on Jim. any help appreciated. I suspect I am supposed to notice something else to click on, but what it is--beats me?

Janie (from Parents in WV--so there, Sis!)

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: GUEST,Guest Shy Person
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 02:41 AM

Thanks to all of you who responded sympathetically to my post. I didn't really expect anyone to respond, but I'm glad you did. i will PM some of you who wrote to me.

Peace, I'll admit that I seriously considered not coming to the Getaway this year, but I'm glad I did. Even someone who is not a member of the Inner Circle can have fun there. I did.


Ebbie, thanks for your advice. You and I have walked along same of the up hill paths. I really do want to reach out and connect with other people. The life of a hermit does not appeal to me. I'm pondering your remark about the uncommunicative face. Is my face like that, I wonder? I smile and make eye contact. I know this because other people have told me so. I think you've touched on something very important. Someone once told me that shyness is often mistaken for coldness. maybe that's what's been happening to me. There's the old saying that cry and you cry alone but laugh and the whole world laughs with you. I stick with people and try to help them through their hard times. It's true that virtue is its own and only reward. maybe they don't want to be reminded of their hard times, maybe they want to be surrounded by party people. Alas I'm not much of a party person.

Bobert, do you expect me to believe that you're shy? I appreciate what you said about making the initial effort to reach out to people because it will pay off. Damn it! I've been making that initial effort for 10 or 20 years. The people I've said Hello to so many times over the years might say hello to me by now. Is that asking too much. It takes some time and effort to get to know someone, especially someone who is shy. Ten or 20 years is a long time.

Jacqui, I've been singing songs and tunes for years.

Mary rrf, that's good advice. I've already done that (posting sometimes on Mudcat and telling people my Mudcat name when I meet them.)

KT, I agree with you about the importance of trust. I suspect that your son picked up the habit of trusting from you. (You're a good mother.) It takes a while for me to get to trust someone. I have negative expectations based on things in my past. Shyness may be a misguided defense mechanism. Stand in the shadows so no one will shoot you. I think that may be the key that will open the lock for me. How do I get instant or quick trust?

Ron, you wrote about shyness and performing. Consider the importance of positive feedback. I've heard that it takes nine positive interactions to make up for one negative interaction. You can do a thousand things right and only one thing wrong, but the one thing wrong is often the only thing you hear about.

I didn't expect to write this much. I guess I'm less shy on Mudcat than in person. I *thank* everyone for your advice.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Big Mick
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 06:53 AM

Shy Person, I think I know exactly who you are. If I am right, I never have seen you as shy, but just a very nice person. I love it when you sit down with me and play while I sing, even if you do ask me to change the key a half step. *****grin***** And I enjoy it more when you engage me in conversation.

I am not sure who is in an inner circle, but you are one of the people I look forward to seeing each year. Now that I know you are shy, I will take a little more time and just sit and talk.

Thanks for pointing this out to everyone. Sometimes we all need to be reminded to just slow down a bit and enjoy the treasures around us. People like you are those treasures.

Your friend, I hope.

Mick

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Big Mick
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 06:58 AM

LEJ, at times I found myself watching you this weekend. I found myself thinking that this is a guy I would like to get to know better. Those beautiful lyrics confirm that for me. I hope we meet again, and just get some time to talk.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Bobert
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 08:44 AM

Ebbie,

Thanks fir the "comment" in Amos's piccure album but, believe me, you were there in spirit...

Next year, I'll make you part of the band so we'll be sure to have you there in the flesh as well...

BobertsBluesBoys, Amos???

Has a nice ring to it... Yer in next year's band as well...

Anyone else want in???

Sidewalk Bobert and the BluesBoys'nGals

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 09:27 AM

Dang and Hallelujah. Here I thought you didn't like my B-sevenths, man!! I'll be there wid bells on.


A

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Linda Goodman Zebooker
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 10:01 AM

Well, I've gotten caught up on sleep -- I try never to sleep during the Getaway, but end up missing things for at least 4 hours a night. Thanks to all who posted the photos. It all seems so REAL while you are immersed in everything there, but once you are back home it's like a great shining dream that happened years ago. Pictures bring it back a little.

Thanks to Rita, Nancy King and Carly for a wonderful program AGAIN! The longer format was great -- you could soak it in without looking at a watch, or you could more easily double up on workshops. Got to go to Mia's workshop and learn songs in Bulgarian (Croatian?) AND then get to the Shanty workshop in time to hear and sing loudly with the incredible trio on Help Me to Raise 'Em Boys.

Great to meet more of the people whose posts I have enjoyed reading for the past few years. The Duck family - wow!

Highlights for me:

Seeing that luxurious wedding/birthday spread with all the fancy geegaws on Friday night - what a welcome!

Being in on the Mudcat-generated plans for a "production number" and preparing and performing with the "Ladies of the Club" on Sat. What fun... giggle, shhh! giggle. Ah to wear a pink tutu again! Great ideas, Jacqui and SINSULL.

Singing along with the slightly warped group outside the dining hall on Friday night

Seeing the moon and stars so clear. I live in downtown Bethesda MD which has very bright lights all the time. I literally forget there are stars until I see them at Camp Ramblewood

Laughing for half an hour after hearing "Fido the Rabid Dog" about the flea-ridden Pekinese at the Parody sing

Learning from Bat Goddess about how a teen-aged bat's wings grow so much overnight, it makes them awkward when returning in the morning

Being spellbound by the Underground Railroad song of Loren Ottley's

Hearing from so many people that they remember my son Benny, who won't/can't come to the Getaway anymore. I talked to him on the phone and he said he has such nice memories of the Getaway.

Sunday night after the concert singing everything, including the stand-up-sit-down-link-arms song. It was wonderful how the TV Room and Dinning Hall groups gradually morphed into one big (thanks for the beer!) HARMONIOUS group as one person after the other quietly left the TV Room to get accreted to the Dinning Hall group.
I MUST go to the UK someday --- what spirit!

The warmth: the sun, the warm nights, the people!

I wasn't going to sing at all, except as chorus, not having so much as looked at a song or listened to hardly any folk music (except for the radio program Traditions and my precious cassette tape of the Johnson Girls OF COURSE) for a whole year. I thought I would forget things two words in. So thanks to Lorraine for actually requesting me to sing something. Turned the whole Getaway around for me. (well, that and the pink tutu).

I miss everybody. Have a great year.

--Linda

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 10:25 AM

song fragment:
    KT went whistlin' over the hill--
    Oh, Daddy be gay--
    KT went whistlin' over the hill,
    Says Bobert won't have me--I wonder who will?
    Daddy be gay and eat candy.

I'm gonna have to read more later here. When I finally got to Austin after midnight last night/this morning, and my son took me to his house for a bit before he brought me home to Cedar Creek, I wound up leaving my glasses at his house. I've tried to read some of this, but it ain't workin' very well.

And I was there and met such fabulous people and heard such magnificent music I still don't believe it--and I have lots of new cds to prove it. I'm gonna be like Bob Newhart--wake up next to my hubby later and tell him about this weird dream I had about Fortunato and Bill D. and Ferrara and El Greko and KT and kissing Giok and...well, maybe not KT(what a stunner! Bobert won't have you, come to Texas, honey), cool weather and needing a coat...too weird, he'll say. I'm takin' you to the funnyfarm doc to get medicated before they insist on keepin you for your own safety.

Help me find a way to get hubby there next year. I'll risk him seeing KT for the general good it will do him to experience the whole. I've got the Dance of the River cho. down pat(thank you Amtrak for the looooooooooooooong train ride), but am still laughing too hard on Dog's Life to get my mouth around that.

Evidence I've been gone: when I left, the new garden plot hubby had been working hard on had a coupla struggling rows of pale green specks. Now I'm gonna have to get a machete or Tarzan to get me through...maybe it wasn't a dream?

Can't keep on. Head starting to hurt. Will have to come back after I get my glasses back. I'm considering a song contest about the saga of my Amtrak return home. KT should enter, and El Greko--not Micca; it's too long for Micca--and the prize will be--um, well, I'll work on that.

Me for another lie-down with my eyes closed...hugs and kisses from Central Texas

And--oh, Auntie Em--there's no place like HOME!!!! Tw

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Ferrara
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 10:28 AM

Shy person, thank you for putting in some feedback about how you feel.   I think the reminder will stick in people's minds.

I have an image of two or three shy persons at the Getaway but your comment that "you are nice to people" makes me suspect I can narrow it down more....

If I'm right, you have quite a musical talent and can join in, at least in backing people up, and will quite naturally be absorbed into the flow of music and talk.

If you don't make music yourself, it gets much harder. People relate to the music so strongly that they naturally feel a flow of warmth to the people who have shared it with them.

But I found when I first started coming, that there's another way to become visible at the Getaway, and that is to listen eagerly to whoever you are talking to. Start conversations with "hello, how are you doing?" or "Hi, I'm ----, how are you enjoying the weekend?" and listen. Ask where people are from, etc, etc, the obvious questions, and you and they will quickly feel that you know each other and have passed time together that was special.

I actually reversed this process. I learned that I was spending the entire weekend in conversation and that I felt left out because I was missing so much of the music, so eventually I decided to do more of my conversing away from the Getaway and spend my time at the Getaway joining in with the music. That's what I don't get enough of! ... or should I say, "Music is that of which I do not get enough..."?

Best of luck to you for next year ... and if you are really the person I suspect, do give me that phone call! ... and I'll do the same for you.

Hugs,
Rita

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Jeri
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 10:32 AM

And if Mick's wrong about who you are, he might accidentally be nice to someone else.

I've never been shy, but I've suffered from a lack of confidence I've tried to pass off as shyness. Shy people may not lack confidence though, and they'd really rather NOT be in the middle of things or perhaps even noticed.

Getting 'upset about reading Getaway memory threads' sounds an awful lot like the Christmas thread we once had where someone said they really hated reading about everybody else's happiness. I'm planning on enjoying and contributing to these 'huggy' threads without guilt, as much as the FSGW members who aren't on Mudcat probably enjoy talking about the Getaway at the monthly sings or other events. I can't make other people happy and I have enough work making myself happy these days.

Listen to Ebbie's wise advice. (please forgive me for the praise ;-) I developed a bunch of different ways to cope. One of them was telling that little (figurative) voice that said 'Well, I'd LIKE to, but...' to shut the heck up right before the 'but'. Another things is to live in the moment. Have fun where you are, with whomever your with, even if they aren't a good friends. Most people aren't good freiends but just enjoy each other's company. That joking-around stuff may be awkward for you because it's not your style. Don't let anybody make you believe it has to be. If you ask, people probably enjoy you for how you are, not how you think you should be. If you're you're an elusive Luna moth and think you need to be a social butterfly, faggedaboutit! Luna moths are rare and mysterious, and many people never notice them. When they DO, it's usually with a hushed sort of wonder.

People are likely not as close as they can seem. I'm thinkin' of a Fri night jam, watching Bobert & Claymore play together. Why did I NOT get a photo of THAT?! I notice now that most of the things I really enjoyed, I wasn't actually involved in. They're things I just loved watching or listening to.

LEJ - Exquisite poem, but are you sure those weren't turkey buzzards? I owe you a PM.

Peace - I really had hoped you'd be a surprise attendee. I would have loved to have met you and heard your music. Maybe next year?

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 12:06 PM

Shy One,
Every year I have a long argument with myself about whether or not I will go to the Getaway. I don't play an instrument. My music of choice is shared by only a few. I feel as if I will be "found out".

By committing to transport people I get locked into going. And when I am overwhelmed I sneak off alone to breathe.

You probably won't believe this but Kendall tells me he feels the same way sometimes. Your feelings are "normal". What you do about them is the key.

PM me if you like. No doubt, there will be some Friday night silliness next year and we always need help putting it together, setting it up, arranging surprises for a victim or two. Come play with us.

The Inner Circle thing doesn't exist anywhere but in our minds. There was a time when I would never have approached Ron (yes, you Ron) or Carly or Janice because I thought they were part of the incredibly funny, talented Inner Circle where I didn't belong. Keith still intimidates me - go figure. Most of the FSGW members are so knowledgeable and multi-talented I feel as if I am way out of my league. Then someone like Judy Cook dons a tutu and reminds me that we are all there to share the music. Even among Mudcatters, I can be overwhelmed - it took me two days to get past my inhibitions and approach the Ducks.

If you can get to Maine, join us for a Song Circle. The regulars here always encourage the shy ones to share their talents. And you will have a ready-made entourage for next year's festivities. I have no idea who you are. There are a few people at the Getaway who always keep to themselves and given my shyness I don't intrude. I guess I will make a point of introducing my self to everyone - Scary!

Mary "SINS"

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Dani
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 12:11 PM

Inner circle my ass.

I just have to say that, lest someone think there IS one.

There're people who know each other's names already, and friends we haven't met yet. It's just that some of us met in person the FIRST time we charged the Getaway, and each year more and more people know a face AND a name, and a song they want someone to especially do, or a group they can't wait to sing with again, and common memories they share from previous years.

You already fit most of these criteria, Shy One, so you've got your membership, just your card's in your pocket instead of pinned on the front of your shirt. Keep being yourself, and come on in.

Dani

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Big Mick
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 12:22 PM

Atta girl, Dani.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Janie
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 12:34 PM

Rats. And here it is I thought this year I had finally made my way into the outer fringes of the inner circle, only to hear that there isn't one;>)

Actually--I can see that the Bobert is shy. I can see that a lot of us are less than fully confident in ourselves. But if there is one thing I have gotten from the Getaway, it is encouragement and the sense that whatever any of us have to offer, as it comes from the joy in the music, is received as a welcomed gift.

I'm no good at chitchat. For most of my life I felt like I was on the outside, looking in. Somewhere along about age 40 I began to understand that whether I feel "part of" or "apart from" others is entirely the result of my own perception. Sometimes I'm a participant, sometimes I'm an observer, and sometimes I am a participant-observer. I have learned to be reasonably comfortable in any of those positions.

At the Getaway, until this year I felt like a country bumpkin with my hillbilly accent and lack of scholarly knowledge, and just knowing the songs I know instead of having hunted up all the old ballads, or learned to sing in a particular "traditional" style.

This year, I DECIDED to just be ok with who I am, how I sing and what I know (or don't.) That change in my own perspective made a huge difference in my comfort level. Friday night, I remember Sinsull turning around to me while I was arranging flowers and saying "Why are you being so unsocialable?" (with a smile and an intent to include me.) I surprised myself by responding honestly, "That's just my nature."

Shy one, whoever you are, just be yourself and learn to be comfortable in your own skin. You might find you like it.
Even more important, you will probably find that others already do.

All the best,
Janie

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: kendall
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 12:59 PM

Believe it or not, I know what it's like to feel like a clam digger at a Mensa convention.
Years of hanging out with great people such as those in the FSGW and the Mudcat convinced me that it was all in my head.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: KT
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 01:01 PM

Ah Shy one, go back and read the words of all these good people one more time. And believe what they say, for they are wise indeed.

At the Getaway, I found myself thinking that I'd love to just sit and talk with people. I often think when I'm in an airport or restaurant or other crowded place, that if I could have an hour to sit down and listen to the story of any one of those people, I'd be amazed at the story that would unfold, and my life would be richer for it. I feel that way at the Getaway, too, but the weekend is about sharing music so I have to learn who they are through their music and the snippets of conversation we may be able to have here and there.

Shy One, you've asked about trust and how to "get it." You've taken a huge leap in that direction by expressing your feelings here, and surely you've noticed that you were "caught" by all these loving people. Ah, your Getaway experience continues......

One more thought, perhaps next year on your name tag, you should write Shy One in fine print and watch what happens.

Now Tannywheeler, about that medication......

"Next year, I'll make you part of the band....... " Ebbie, beware those words. I heard them once.....sniff......

KT

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Big Mick
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 01:03 PM

Janie, for what it is worth, seeing you and Annie is always a big part of this for me. I often watch you listening to the music, and you just get taken away by it. You sway, or dance, and it always reminds me what this is all about. Some folks that I watch at gatherings like this always seem to think it is about them. I watch you and know it is about the music, about helping folks feel a feeling, or understand a story.

And by the way, you have a great voice.

I sure am thankful that y'all make your way here each year.

Mick

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 01:13 PM

What a bunch of wise (asses?) souls. It is not to wonder at the spirit of the Getaway.

Incidentally I'm not usually as much of a basket case as I've described- (I'm worse!)   

The main thing I'm working toward at the Getaway, and in overall life, is to participate in spite of. One of these days/years I want to sit in a song circle and when it comes my turn, I want to share a song without fear or protestation and just enjoy the voices that join in and make the dense music that I love.

My guess is that what most of us want of ourselves. The fact that so many of us are already there is just a bonus to us all. (And you don't have to wait for us to catch up- lead us on, OK?)

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: KT
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 01:30 PM

And here's the irony in that, Ebbie.....think of the numbers of people YOU have helped to achieve that, myself, included. (That's what Go Ask Elva was all about!!)

KT

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Dani
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 01:31 PM

Hey, perhaps we should start one of them BS:therapy threads?

The first Getaway I went to, I was TERRIFIED! But I knew I wanted to be with other people who love to sing, and was charmed by the invitation FSGW extended to this community.

I practiced the few songs that I was confident in singing alone for 8 hours in the car.

When I got there, it was Friday night, and a song circle had formed. I'd never even SEEN a song circle, let alone heard voices of that calibre. Didn't know who was who, but now realize it was mostly FSGW folks with a few 'catters thrown in. I can still remember the growing horror as the turn passed nearer and nearer to me, and I thought that any second I would have to leave the room to vomit. Then I sang my shaky, nervous song, and for the first time was lifted up by the sound of all those voices joining in. It's still not easy for me to lead a song, but I get better at it all the time, because I love to sing with you/them and that's the price of admission, right?

Then, there was the magical Mudcat Cafe the next day, the first gathering of Mudcatters (that I'm aware of) facing each other around a room, with a chance to sing what they wanted to introduce themselves with. I will ALWAYS remember pieces of that day: Barry singing "You Wouldn't Know It To Look At Me", Allan singing a lovely song in Portuguese with the gorgeous, driving guitar, too many others to name.

THAT was the beginning of any 'inner circle'. Just remember that the circle will open and grow every time someone pulls up a chair.

Dani

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 01:34 PM

Wow.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 01:38 PM

KT:

OK, I've heard enough; I know you are trying to put a brave songster face on your feeling of rejection because Sidwalk Bob thought you were too chic for the blues. But the pain is showing through, ain't it?   So we're gonna cook up a little surprise for him next year, and hit him between his furry little eyebrows with the "Juneau Dairy Queen Blues" and the "Long Long Night in Winter in Alaska" blues and the "Esimo Baby, Rub My Nose One More Time" blues, and "It' All Looks the Same When you ain't the Lead Dog Anymore" Blues and mebbe even the "Sasquatch Is Melting My Igloo and Setting My Heart On Fire" blues. And you'll be belting them out like Bessie Smith, and we'll put him in the parking lot and blow his ears off from the dining room with 'em. Teach that boy to trust his first instincts!! Yowzah!!

You up for that? Damned if I can stand around nodding and smiling when there's a damsel in distress!!! LOL


A

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: KT
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 01:56 PM

Amos! You crack me up!! You got a deal. We'll get workin' on those songs right away! And won't Ol' Bobert be surprised!!?? We'll show him what the Blues is all about.! You in, Eb?

Dani! I love your description of your first song circle and dreading your turn, and thinking you were going to lose your cookies in anticipation. I can relate!! Funny how one just has to get up to stretch their legs about two people away from their turn.

I remember being at Chance's last year and TJ was leading a song where everyone had to take a turn doing a little lick . I was dying to say nothing of being all thumbs when it came to my turn! Make that toes!! But it was fun anyway, and the memory makes me smile.

Dani, I'm so glad you brought your daughters. Cheez whiz on sweet corn! Cracked me up!

Dang! I didn't know when I bought this computer that it had a very powerful magnet in it. It just keeps pullin' me back!! I'm gonna have to lock it up in the shed.

KT

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: jacqui.c
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 02:10 PM

KT - I think I have the same sort of magnet in my PC.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Tinker
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 02:18 PM

Dani did better than I did my first Getaway back in 2000. I can honestly say I didn't lead a single song and was often too overwhelmed to come in on the chorus. There is such a wonderful kalidescope of music and emotion that I find myself being carried along with it now and then. Each year provides new patterns and pieces.
This year in particular I found myself without time to meet everyone I wanted to meet and there were folks I never caught up with that I fully planned to when I walked in the door.
I'm often a tad distracted. I know I was in a wonderful conversation with Jeannie and then got pulled back into auction duties and was lost on the tide.

But I did finally get a walk down by the river with wonderful conversation with an old friend better met

And I got to know Giok and share some time...even if the strings weren't quite what he asked for...

Saturday night's dining hall sing standing between Jimmny T and EJ infront of Amos as the music just roilicked & rambled from song to song from one genre to the next. Harmonies and rhythmns shifting and rolling right to the rafters.

Taking a deep breath and going with Miss Mary's costume choice ...

Being told more than once I wasn't old enough to have teenagers (Thankyou)

Watching folks just let loose and enjoy on Sunday night people watching and singing and just enjoying the moment. Finally a few moments to talk with EJ ....

Hugs well met and very well meant. I too move in and out occaisionally needing a slight break and I'm one who usually only leads a song in smaller groups. But the only bits and pieces of groups are built on shared memories and each year the circle who share those gets larger.

Sharing my house on either side of Getaway and being able to take a little bit of the magic home to share with my family.

Thank You all

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 03:10 PM

OK, BLues Queen of the Frozen North, yer on. I'll work up some roughs and send them to you on a CD, if I ever get an addy. That's two I owe ya.

Can't wait to hear yer take on 'em, adding that powdered sugar to the sawmill texture, ya know...

LOL!


A

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Celtaddict
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 03:13 PM

Of all I saw and heard, and I mostly watch and listen as I am not a musician myself, not once did I see anything remotely resembling exclusion. (Though I was not there to see KT booted from the Pedestrians; who would have the gall or the wish to boot her from anything anywhere?) Many times I did observe inclusion. Many times I did see or hear someone invite or encourage someone else. Many times was I myself the recipient of this from someone, who was of course either a minimal acquaintance or a stranger as those were all who were there from my point.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Allan C.
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 03:14 PM

Good grief! You people have made me go back and relive my first Getaway! Nobody could have been more of a mass of jelly when we had a massive singaround that first morning. As my turn approached I became more and more nervous. I hadn't sung in front of anyone other than family for decades! And now I was going to have to sing before a room filled with only about a dozen people whose names I sorta knew - as well as some eighty or so folks I didn't know at all! As each person did their bit, I began feeling more and more outclassed. I seriously began to consider backing out the door.

Finally, my turn came. I started to play and sing "Two Brothers" but quickly reached a place where I flubbed the chords and couldn't figure out how to resume the song. Instead, I switched to "Curimao." Somehow, I didn't screw up that one. I can't say the applause was anything more than polite. But then, I was still too shook up to be objective.

Actually, I didn't have any idea at all how it was received until I got a PM a few days later that said:

"I could feel the feeling you put into that first song I heard you play." to which was added, "... That session was a special time, and it probably will never be repeated in the same way. I really enjoyed making your acquaintance. We will be friends a long time. But do me a favor, don't tell anyone that I am a big marshmallow. It will screw up my tough guy rep."

So, I won't tell you who it was. I can only say that over the years I have continued to receive encouragement from this same person. I can't begin to tell you how much that has meant.

It was from that small bit of encouragement that a much more outgoing me began to grow. I still have bouts of shyness at times and still wonder from time to time if I really have anything to contribute. But somehow I have acquired enough confidence to be able to stand up at the Getaway's open mikes for each of the succeeding years, even though that has often been my only performance of the year.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that shy folks, if they listen carefully, are likely to hear enough encouragement to justify whatever it might take for them to "put on their game face," to come to the Getaway, and to make part in all it has to offer. Friends - or even the potential for new friends abound at the Getaway. Every year I make it a point to approach someone I don't know and to strike up a conversation. This year I did that with Marynf and her companion, (sorry, I am horrible at remembering names and hers is no exception, I have an empty file folder in my brain marked wth the letter "D" but am not sure that's even right,) and Amiel Shotz. Both encounters were greatly rewarding.

If you are reading this and have waffled about whether to come to the Getaway, please consider how many people have come from as far away as Guam and Iceland knowing almost nobody there. I'm sure they would tell you that even if they hadn't known a single soul, they would have become well acquainted with a heck of a lot of them by the end of the weekend if they had made even the slightest effort.

End of ramble

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Celtaddict
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 03:19 PM

KT and Shy Person: I LOVE the idea of seeing an assortment of people showing up at the next Getaway with "shy one" added to their name tags. What a lovely reminder to all that someone who hesitates is wishing to be asked to join in. Love of music and wishing to share it are the reasons we are all there. I rather like that you have not given us your "other" names (Mudcat or everyday). I suspect I am not the only one who next year will find myself making a point of seeking out a variety of people who seem to hover around the margins waiting a bit more personal inclusion, hoping I do talk and sing with the original "Shy Person."

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Celtaddict
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 03:23 PM

Allan C, that was Maria with Maryrrf. I kept hoping we could get her to sing too. . . .

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 03:34 PM

Well I just loved meeting everyone, and maybe next year with a new hip or two, I'll be back and better able to get around, although the new place is supposed to be flatter so even if I only get one hip done I shall be better off.
Went to the Martin factory in Nazareth and did the factory tour, very interesting, should have gone on the Wednesday, but sat on the interstate for two hours because of a truck wreck, and missed that day, so went on Thursday instead.
I spent Sunday and Monday nights at Snoozy Max Spiegel's place and had lovely time; even got to meet Lily. Thank you your Lordship for the bed.
Am now at Sinsulls, and awaiting this evening's happening with joyfull anticipation, also had a brill evening at the Press Room last night.
Deep joy all round so far.
Giok

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: KT
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 03:44 PM

Celtaddict, I love the idea too! And I KNOW that anyone who saw it would scoop Shy One up in a minute! I don't think there's a person there who wouldn't extend themselves to a person they knew was shy. It's just that "shy" is hard to decipher without a little help.

And Celtaddict, I loved meeting you, even though our time was mostly limited to the Pub Sing and my asking you, what did s(he) say? That pub sing was so awesome!!! I've never been to one before, but to hear one voice toss out a verse and have a hundred other voices come in on the chorus.....it was so joyful and exhilarating! Is that how it is over there? I wanna visit!!


KT

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: skarpi
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 03:44 PM

Halló Giok , did get one ?
Glad that you are Okei my old friend.
Hear from you later.
All the best Skarpi Iceland,

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Celtaddict
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 03:49 PM

This does bring up an idea that could make a thread of its own but I am leaving it here because I am asking it of myself specifically with the next Getaway in mind.
Some of us dearly love the music but are not performers. It's that simple. A friend of mine explained this role in the Folk Process to me years ago: we don't create, we don't perform (mercifully), we don't even really collect (just accumulate). He says we are Carriers. We pick up CDs or tapes or scratch paper and go to another person and say, "Have you heard this song?" If we do this long and often and well we rather often have the reward of hearing a song we love sung in what we think is just the right voice or venue.
At the Getaway there is such a richness of singers that in a circle that probably will not make it all the way round before the end of the allotted time, it seems a shame to take up time in which a "real" singer could present a song. I have seen threads in which people bemoan the participation at circles by singers who don't know the song well or do not carry the melody well or otherwise are not performers. I have seen other threads in which people are very supportive of all participation, the "if you can talk, you can sing" approach, and even threads in which people comment there is something not quite right about not taking one's turn with a song, not unlike not standing one's round (and even as a non-drinker I know better than that). I personally feel rather selfish if I soak up all the grand music without contributing, but also figure I am not the only one who would rather hear singers who are better at what they do. I love it that if any two aficionados sit down together, they will know something they can sing together and each will also know a song the other does not, and I have plenty of songs I can virtually guarantee you have not heard elsewhere.

SO, what should I do at the Getaway?

My personal compromise so far has been to listen in the circles/workshops, bring recordings to pass on to folks I think should hear them, and sing myself only in the late-night informal small circles or to this or that individual. (Of course this means I have sometimes placed myself in the absurd position of singing only to "real" musicians I admire, which does not help the self-consciousness a bit!)

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: kendall
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 04:37 PM

I was delighted to see Elana and Holly Black there. Maybe next year they will be picking banjos or guitars? Lovely ladies, both of them.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Celtaddict
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 04:53 PM

KT, I have never had the privilege (yet!) of being at a pub session in the English part of the UK, but have been to a few in Scotland, and have also been to many in Ireland, mostly in the West. Many are basically instrumental sessions, but many do in fact revolve not around a particular singer or performance, but around the sharing of songs around the room. It happens here, too, if you are in the right place at the right time.
At what could possibly be my all-time favorite, in a small place I am almost loath to identify, participants ranged from about 12 to over 80. When a song with a chorus came up, the roof was raised well and proper. When a solo type song came up, one or two men would (gently but firmly) say to the joiners-in, "one voice, please." (A tradition I have wished for here on occasion.) And possibly my favorite custom there was that when the ambient noise level had crept up between songs and someone started a song in a soft voice (including an elderly lady who was very quiet but new astounding songs) someone with a more robust voice would say, "Song here!" and people would fall quiet to listen. At one point, too, he said "Song from an ELDER here!" and you could have heard a pin drop, though I do not know how that would fly in the U.S.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 04:54 PM

Juneau has close ties to Russia and people frequently visit back and forth. One night at a party one Russian told me that in Russia it is considered rude if each person does NOT do something- whether it's a song, a tune, a dance or a poem. Made me stop and think a bit.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Celtaddict
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 05:08 PM

Ebbie, I have been told that is so at places in Ireland, often. At the one I described, after I had been lapping it up for many hours, a big Scot (who throws his head back, closes his eyes, and sings 8-12 minute Big Ballads) told me, "You have been here listening all day. It is your turn to give us a song." I said, "I don't have the voice for a big place like this." He said, "Then sing a small song. I will listen." He did, too.
I think it is less often spoken, but surely often thought, at places here too.
I know when I joined the one a.m. group at the all-night cabin, as I opened the door, someone said, "Welcome. Your toll is one song." Someone else came in later, and was greeted with "You owe us a song, but you can wait a bit for it." And when one person listened a short while then headed for bed, "You aren't leaving without a song are you?" She did, but it was evident that the folks remaining thought it was not quite right.

Subject: RE: 2005 Getaway Reflections Here...
From: Celtaddict
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 05:08 PM

300