Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Cluin Date: 18 Jul 07 - 11:34 PM Two Dutchmen, Two Dutchmen Are swimming in a ditch One called the other A dirty son of a... |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,youngest one Date: 19 Jul 07 - 12:39 AM you sing this one while placing your hands in the spots or pointing which ever... Milk, Milk ---> (o)(o) \ / / \ / \ Lemon Aid ---> ( \/ ) Around the corner fudge is made, stick your finger up the hole, yummy yummy tootsie roll..... (ewww thats grose I cant believe we sang this shit...) "Freak" you can hit me from the front, and you can hit me from the back, I'm a just freak while in the sack...... roll me over, and filp me up, fill my mouth just like a cup... all dressed up, or in the buff, just remember I LIKE IT ROUGH!!!!!!!! Jenn W. 07-07 i totally just made this one on the spot....it may not be for kids to sing... but it is still a good one...I shall add this one to my little book of poems...... |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Celtaddict Date: 19 Jul 07 - 12:53 AM Our version (Oklahoma, 1950s) of 'Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts' went Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts Mutilated monkey meat, dirty little birdy feet, Sneezed-up snake snot, bashed in beetle brains, And me without a spoon (but I got a straw!) Actually I more often heard 'mutilated monkey meat, petrified parrot urp' which sounded suitably disgusting but did not rhyme. ('Urp' was kid-colloquial for 'vomit') And we ended all the almost-rhyme ones (--- had a steamboat etc.) with Behind our icebox is a piece of glass If you sit upon it, you will cut your Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies, If you don't open up your mouth, you won't catch any flies. I wonder why all the ones above mention glass but if you sit upon it you will break your [ask]? Cut makes more sense. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 19 Jul 07 - 12:54 AM Probably posted many years past in another thread, circa 1920's, western USA.
If a pig drinks a quart of buttermilk before he starts,
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 19 Jul 07 - 08:21 PM Circa early 1960's west coast USA. When three males are walking, side-by-side down a sidewalk, road, or trail:
Hey....Left ball! Hey....Right ball! Who's the dick in the middle? Quickly followed by both outsiders punching "the dick" in the arms.
Sincerely, |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Edmond Date: 24 Jul 07 - 10:57 AM Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the King's horses and all the King's man Couldn't give a FUCK. Mary, Mary, quite contrary How does your garden grow ? With silver bells and cockle shells And lots of horse shit. Simple Simon met a pieman Going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the pieman "What have you got there ?" "Pies, you daft twat." Yellow matter custard, green snot pie All mixed up with a dead dog's eye. Spread it on a butty, nice and thick Swallow it down with a cup of cold sick. Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been ? I've been up to London to see the Queen. Pussy cat, pussy cat, what did you there? Pissed on the Queen's carpet, shat on the Queen's chair. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: SINSULL Date: 24 Jul 07 - 02:23 PM Mary had a little lamb With mint jelly. Little Miss Muffet Sat on her tuffet Eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider Who sat down beside her And said "Is this seat taken?" Ching Ching Chinaman Sittin' on a fence Tryin' to make a dollar Out of sixteen cents. Rich girls wear ruffles on their pants Poor girls wear them plain If you don't wear none at all You should be ashamed. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,ibo Date: 24 Jul 07 - 02:28 PM little jack horner sat in the corner eating an apple pie he put in his thumb,and pulled out a plum and said WHATS A F'/;ING PLUM DOING IN AN APPLE PIE |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,lestamore Date: 24 Jul 07 - 08:20 PM this has probably been mentioned miss mary had a steamboat the steamboad had a bell miss mary went to heaven and the steamboat went to.. hello operator please give me number nine and if you disconnect me I'll chop off your.. behind the 'frigerator there was a peice of glass miss suzy sat upon it and it went right up her.. Ask me no more questions I'll tell you no more lies the boys are in the bathroom zipping up their.. flies are in the city bees are in the park and 25 boys and 25 girls are kissing in the D A R K D A R K Dark It's dark just like a movie and a movie's like a show a show play's on the TV set and that's not all I know I also know my mama I also know my pa I also know my sister with the 47 bra! Gee.. I can't beleive i remembered that |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST Date: 25 Jul 07 - 05:39 AM This one comes from Half Man Half Biscuit: Mary had a little lamb The doctors were astounded And everywhere that Mary went Gynecologists surrounded. And this is from Maurice Condie: There was a young lady from Bude Who went for swim in a pond A man in a punt Stuck his pole in the water And says "you can't swim here, it's private." |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: goatfell Date: 25 Jul 07 - 07:17 AM that last one sounds like one of the goons would say |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Mick Tems Date: 25 Jul 07 - 07:32 AM Mary had a little lime And then a little gin And everywhere that Mary went She didn't know she'd bin ................ Mary had a little lamb She also had a bear I've often seen her little lamb I've also seen her bear .................. (Following a belch at the dinner table - a South Wales rhyme) Pardon me for being so rude It was not me, it was my food And if I did not make amends It would come out the other end ...................... (Another South Wales rhyme, upon seeing a plate of delicious food) Yum yum Pig's bum! ....................... |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Snuffy Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:10 AM Mick, I've always heard it as: Pardon me for being so rude It was not me, it was my food It just popped up to say "hello" And now it's gone back down below. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Edmond Date: 01 Aug 07 - 08:23 AM Yankee Doodle went to town On a cart and pony. He let a fart that split the cart And paralysed the pony. Ann Maguire pissed in the fire The fire was too hot so she pissed in the pot. The pot was too round so she pissed on the ground. The ground was too hard so she pissed in the yard. The yard was too fat so she pissed on the cat - The cat ran away with the piss on its back. Davy Crockett built a rocket. The rocket went "Bang !" His balls went "Clang !" And he found his prick in his pocket. Considering it was a Catholic school . . . |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Edmond Date: 01 Aug 07 - 11:24 AM To the tune of 'These Foolish Things' A wanky hankie in a London taxi ; A pair of underpants gone hard and waxy And how they cling - these foolish things, etc The dirty laughter from the gents' urinals The quack abortionist who'd failed his finals The foetid odour of a used French letter ; A dose of clap that simply won't get better And how it stings, etc And when you stripped off in the bedroom after I saw your tits and pissed meself with laughter For how the left one swings, etc |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,ifor Date: 01 Aug 07 - 12:29 PM Taffy was a welshman Taffy was a thief Taffy came to our house And stole a leg of beef I went to Taffy's house Taffy was not at home ... cant remember the rest!!!! ifor |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Snuffy Date: 01 Aug 07 - 06:58 PM .... I went to Taffy's house Taffy was in bed So I picked up a hammer And whacked him on the head |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,Spider EyeZz Date: 03 Aug 07 - 12:56 AM Here R Some HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE Hey diddle, diddle The cat took a piddle, All over the bedside clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun. Then died of electric shock HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE Hey diddle diddle the cat did a piddle the cow jumped over the moon the little dog barfed to see such fun and ate it all up with a spoon POST MAN PAT Postman pat, Postman pat, Postman pat ran over his cat, blood and gut were flying Postman pat was crying That will teach him not to drink and drive 1000 STICKS OF DYNAMITE SITTING ON A WALL 1000 sticks of dynamite sitting on a wall 1000 sticks of dynamite sitting on a wall And if one stick of dynamite should accidentally fall... There'll be no sticks of dynamite and no f**king wall HUMPTY DUMPTY Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the King's horses and all the King's man Couldn't give a FUCK 2 put him 2 gether again Roses are red viliots are blue they don't stink but you do NOW THIS ONES A BIT LONG BUT IT KINDA FUNNY THERE WAS AN OLD LADY There was an old lady who swallowed a poo i do not know why she swallowd that POO purhaps she'll spew, There was an old lady who swallowed a DUNNY that flushed N gushed N made her smell funny she swallowd the DUNNY 2 catch the POO i do not know why she swallowd that POO purhaps she'll spew, There was an old lady who swallowed a PLUMMER could you get any dummer 2 swallow a PLUMMER she swallowd the PLUMMER 2 fix the DUNNY that flushed N gushed N made her smell funny she swallowd the DUNNY to catch the POO i do not know why she swallowd that POO purhaps she'll spew, There was an old lady who burped with great force she spude of corse LOL Hope This Is Funny ALWAYS SPIDER_EYEZZ |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Mick Tems Date: 03 Aug 07 - 01:59 AM "Taffy was a welshman Taffy was a thief Taffy came to our house And stole a leg of beef..." The nursery rhyme is derived from the Normans who invaded Wales, drove the Welsh back to the hills and occupied the fertile land. The Welsh resisted and formed raiding parties, carrying off the Normans' cattle and food to the safety and protection of the hills. One notable raider was Ifor Bach, who who lived above Caerffili and staged successful raids on the land around Cardiff. So now you know! |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,FuBar Date: 20 Sep 07 - 09:27 PM Mary had a little lamb She also had a bear I've often seen her little lamb But I've never seen her bear (/bare) Mary had a little blouse 'twas tatterd all to bits And everywhere that Mary went It showed her little tits! Mary had a little skirt 'Twas split right up the front And everywhere that Mary went ... She had to sit down all the time. (Yeah right.) Mary's lamb had foot'n'mouth Her father went and shot it But Mary's dad had shagged the lamb And now her mother's got it! Mary had a little lamb It's fleace was covered in lard And every step that Mary took She slipped back half a yard. Old mother hubbard went to her cupboard to fetch her dog Rover a bone, But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own. Here's an 'Arkalah' song (spelling?) I remember from 'Scouts. Substitute 'Arkalah' with anyone you hate provided it's 3 sylables: On top of old Smokey All covered in mud, There was Arkalah All covered in blood; A knife through her belly An axe in her head, (missing words here, possibly "it wasn't long before") I knew she was dead; I went to her funeral I went to her grave, Some people threw flowers I lobbed a grenade! And she went up, up, up And then she came down, down, down (more missing words, possibly "then she made a big hole") Right in the ground. I had a funny feeling She wasn't quite dead... So I got my Bazooka And blew off her head! I got more, but this post is long enough for now. I'll send more later, probably. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,FuBar Date: 20 Sep 07 - 09:37 PM Here's more, as promised, and "it's a doozey": The masterful Taboo song as heard on coach-journeys for things like school-trips etc. (Also known as "Three German Officers") The tune (In case you hadn't worked it out) is "When Johnny Comes Marching Home". Enjoy!: Three German Officers in a tank, taboo, taboo, Three German Officers in a tank, taboo, taboo, Three German Officers in a tank, one to drive and two to w*nk, Taboo, tabaye, tab*llockyeye, tab*llockyaye, taboo. Three German Officers crossed the line, taboo, taboo, Three German Officers crossed the line, etc Three German Officers crossed the line to rape the women and drink the wine, Taboo, tabaye, etc They Stopped off at a way-side inn, etc They stopped off at a way-side inn, etc They stopped off at a way-side inn, knocked on the door and kicked it in, Taboo etc. The landlord had a maiden fair, etc The landlord had a maiden fair, etc The landlord had a maiden fair, with great big tits and long blonde hair, taboo etc They dragged her up the rickety stairs, etc They dragged her up the rickety stairs, etc They dragged her up the rickety stairs, by her single pubic hair, Taboo etc. They tied her down on to the bed, etc They tied her down on to the bed, etc They tied her down on to the bed, s*agged her hard until she was dead (told you it was twisted) Taboo etc The Padre thought it was a shame, etc The Padre thought it was a shame, etc The Padre thought it was a shame, and ******ed her back to life again. Three German Officers they got shot, etc Three German Officers they got shot, etc Three German Officers they got shot, two in the head and one in the c*ck, Taboo etc Three German Officers went to hell, etc Trhee German Officers went to hell, Three German Officers went to hel, ******ed the Devil and his wife as well, Taboo, tabaye, tab*llockyaye, tab*llocky eye, taboo! I also found this alternative version which is quite similar: Taboo (Three German Officers): Three German officers in a tank, taboo, taboo Three German officers in a tank, taboo, taboo Three German officers in a tank, One to drive and two to wank Chorus: Taboo, Tab-eye, Ta-bollocky-eye, Ta-bollocky-eye, Taboo Singing Nah, nah,nah,nah, rice krispies every day Get in, get out, stop fu**ing about, get in, get out of the rain Three German officers crossed the rhine, taboo, taboo Three German officers crossed the rhine, taboo, taboo Three German officers crossed the rhine, raped the women and drank the wine Chorus They came accross a wayside inn, taboo, taboo x2 They came accross a wayside in, pissed on the cat and walked right in Chorus The landlord had a daughter fair, taboo, taboo x2 The landlord had a daughter fair, the biggest tits and long blond hair. They took her up the rickety stairs, taboo, taboo(x2), they took her up the rickety stairs, and pulled out all her long blond hairs Chorus They tied her to the end of the bed, taboo, taboo(x2), they tied her to the end of the bed, and shagged her till she was nearly dead They took her down the leafy lane, taboo, taboo(x2), they took her down the leafy lane, and shagged her back to life again Chorus The land lord had a trusty gun, taboo, taboo x2 The landlord had a trusty gun, shot the barstards one by one Chorus (Sung slowly but speeds up quickly at the end of the verse) Three german officers went to hell, Taboo, Taboo x2 - (Sung slowly) Three german officers went to hell (the next bit sung fast) shagged the devils wife as well Chorus Taboo, Tab-eye, Ta-bollocky-eye, Ta-bollocky-eye, Taboo Singing Nah, nah,nah,nah, rice krispies every day Get in, get out, stop fu**ing about, get in, get out of the rain Sadly I can't claim I remembered the song verbatum, I cheated and found it online somewhere. Figured you guyz/galz would like it all the same. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,FuBar Date: 20 Sep 07 - 09:50 PM Yup, me again. This time with requests: Does anyone know the 'hornpipe' parody lyrics? I can start it from memory, who can complete it? Do yer balls hang low Do you swing 'em to-and-fro Can ya tie 'em in a knot Can ya tie 'em in a bow Do ya get a funny feeling when yer hanging from the ceiling... (unable to remember final line of verse.) Unable to remember further verses either, or potential chorus. Oh, and the good-old Fraggle-Rock theme wasn't immune either: Down at Fraggle-Rock Grab a Fraggle by it's cock Chuck 'im in the air Catch 'im by 'is pubic-hair Swing 'im round yer head Make sure the fucker's dead! Grab another one, Shove a chainsaw up it's bum (Can't remember this line) Down at Fraggle-Rock! There may be further verses too, perhaps someone else remembers? |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Celtaddict Date: 20 Sep 07 - 09:53 PM Rice Krispies? This 'storyline' sounds as if it was from World War II; were they making Rice Krispies then? I thought breakfast cereal was a post-WWII product. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST Date: 21 Sep 07 - 01:34 AM You take the hatchet and I'll take the saw And we'll chop off the head of my mother-in-law |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,Pat Date: 29 Sep 07 - 05:39 PM This is bringing back some memories. Here's a couple... Georgie Best, superstar He wears frilly knickers And a brand new bra .......... We three kings of Orient are One in a taxi One in a car One on a scooter Beeping his hooter Following Ringo Starr ......... Does anybody remember the rest of - Ooh ahh I lost my bra and left my knickers in my boyfriend's car? |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Susan B Date: 29 Sep 07 - 07:11 PM The Georgie Best one was sung around Manchester in the late 60s as:- Georgie Best Superstar Walks like a woman And wears a bra. Anyway, my daughter inadvertently composed her own nasty rhyme at the tender age of 3. I hadn't realised that the tunes of "I had a little nutmeg" and Goosie Goosie Gander" were the same. She had muddled these up and added a dose of the book "The Little Postman", resulting in:- I had a little postman But nothing would he bear So I took him by the nutmegs And threw him down the stairs That one went down really well at playgroup - I think they were ready to send out Social Services to us! Night, night Susan B |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: bubblyrat Date: 30 Sep 07 - 05:22 AM It"s " You"ll never be a sailor if your balls hang low "-----also, it"s " Do you get a funny feeling when you bang them on the ceiling ?".---- or it was in 1963, anyway !! |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: kendall Date: 30 Sep 07 - 07:08 AM Hickory Dickory Dock Two mice ran up her sock One stopped at her garter The other was smarter Hickory Dickory Dock. When I was in the service, we were all standing at attention for Captain's inspection. He was a stone faced old bastard and brooked no nonsense. I was in the front rank, and just as he approached, a guy behind me said in a barely audible voice: "There was an old womam who lived in a shoe, She had so many children her **** fell off." (* I hate that word) Guess who caught the Captain's attention? There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, She had so many children she diodn't know what to do, Obviously. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,Rock Girl Lily Date: 30 Sep 07 - 11:55 PM heres one Yankee Doodle went to town riding on granny hit a rock and lost his cock and now hes got a fanny. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,Neil D Date: 01 Oct 07 - 11:43 AM We three kings from orient are Smoking on a rubber cigar It was loaded and exploded |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST Date: 01 Oct 07 - 11:49 AM Lets try that again without hitting the tab key. We three kings from orient are Smoking on a rubber cigar It was loaded and exploded (pause) We two kings from orient are, etc. Comet, it makes your teeth turn green Comet, it tastes like vaseline Comet, it makes you vomit, So use Comet, and vomit, today If your with your honey And her nose is runny And you think it's funny Don't laugh 'cause it's snot |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,james henaghan Date: 09 Oct 07 - 05:56 AM a yellow bird came walking by i coached him in with a pice of bread and i kicked that bastard in the head a puppy dog came walking by i coached him in with a piece of beef and i kicked that bastard in the tteath a prostitute came walking by i coached her in with a five pound note and i shoved my cock rite doown her throat a little lamb came walking by i coached it in with a pice of grass and i shoved my cock rite up its ass |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,*^^*aussie*^^* Date: 16 Dec 07 - 06:46 PM Ok duno where all u ppl r from but here's 2 i'v grown up with in AUS!!!!! MARY had a little lamb she thought it rather silly she threw it up in the air and cought it by it's WILLY was a bulldog sitting in the grass down came a bee and stung him up the ASK no questions tell no lies i saw two police men doing up their FLIES are dirty fleas are worse this is the end of my dirty little verse!! AND........ Mary had a little skirt twas split right up the sides and every time that mary walked the boys could see her thighs Mary had another skirt twas split right up the front and every time that mary walked the boys could see her C*#@ |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Fred Maslan Date: 16 Dec 07 - 08:47 PM Algy met a bear The bear met Algy. The bear was bulgy And the bulge was Algy. Bessy met a Bus And the bus met Bessy. The bus was messy And the mess was Bessy. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,Nanny Joe Date: 17 Dec 07 - 02:14 PM |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,Banjo Willy Date: 17 Dec 07 - 02:18 PM There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, she could accommodate a rain barrel. Peas porridge hot, Peas porridge cold, Peas porridge in the pot, Nine days old. THAT'S pretty pees poorage. There was a young lad and his name was Billy. He leapt over a candle and burnt his willy. How silly. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,George Henderson Date: 18 Dec 07 - 10:57 AM Old mother Reilly she got drunk/ and fell in the fire and burnt her rump/ She gave the kids a copper a piece/ to rub her old arse with candle grease. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,Taliesin Date: 01 Jan 08 - 10:13 AM Here are a few. Most from Rhodesia in the sixties. I took my girl to the station to see the white train shunt. A piece of steel flew off the wheel and hit her in... The country boy from Germany was sitting on a rock. A bumblebee Flew off the trees and stung him on the... Coctails and ginger ale are hapenny a glass. If you do not like them, you can stick them up your... Ask your mother for sixpence to sing this song by heart. Jack is nimble. Jack is quick. But Jill prefers the candlestick. The last one is an Irish protestant hate speech playground song. My old man's an orangeman, no Fenian can deny. He loves to fly the orange flag the first day of July. He looks a lovely picture, Marching with the rope. He'd like to march right on to Rome and hang the fucking pope. I do not in any way endorse the above, but found it pertinent to your thread. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,Jammy Date: 01 Feb 08 - 12:33 AM Okay: Jack was nimble Jack was quick and put out the candle stick. Mary tried and she wasn't slick, falling down it inserted like a dick |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,Jamjam Date: 01 Feb 08 - 09:22 PM Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack Ate food and blick blick blick blick She told her mother mother mother It taste like dick dick dick She went outside side side To puke away way way Then came Jack Jack Jack And f**cked her all day day day |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,anom Date: 02 Feb 08 - 01:36 AM country girls are pritty u should c dem dance wen they lift their legs up high u can see their micky was a bullfrog sitting on a rock along came a bumble bee and stung him on his cocktails and ginger ale 50 c a glass if u dont like it u can kiss my ask me no questions tell me no lies i saw 2 coppers doin u der flies are a newsence misquetos are worse this is the end of my dirty lil verse |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Fidjit Date: 02 Feb 08 - 12:03 PM Cor that was a lot. Couldn't be bothered to go through them all. One I remember from my school days is : Green and Yellow Custard Snot and Boggey Pie All Mixed Together With A Dead Mans Eye. I think the girls used to skip rope to that one. Chas |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: Doug Chadwick Date: 03 Feb 08 - 04:32 AM Chas, There's a bit more to your rhyme. I remember it as: Yellow belly custard Green snot pie All mixed together with a dead dog's eye Spread it on a butty* Spread it nice and thick And wash it down with a cold cup of sick DC *For those who don't know butty = sandwich |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,droptine Date: 21 Aug 08 - 03:36 PM jack and jill wentup the hill each with a buck and a quarter jill came down with two fifty what a whore! little boy blew, cause he needed the money! little miss muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came a spider and sat down beside her and said, "whats it the bowl bitch!!" |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: goatfell Date: 22 Aug 08 - 09:27 AM Mary had a little lamb the farmer shot it dead and now she takes it to school with her between two bits of bread |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,machree01 Date: 23 Aug 08 - 07:57 AM Hey, diddle, diddle! The cat done a piddle, over the bathroom mat; The little dog laughed To see such fun, so he piddled all over the cat. ----------------------------- Mary had a little lamb, And the midwife Nearly died when she seen it. ----------------------------- There was a young girl called Breige? Who let a fart, when she sneezed? It hit off the wall, then went up to the sky, And came right down, and hit her in the eye. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST Date: 05 Oct 08 - 02:19 PM Mary had a little lamb She thought it rather silly She threw it up into the air and caught it by its Willy was a bulldog sitting in the grass Along came a bee and stung him on his Ask no questions tell no lies I saw a policeman pulling up his Flies are a nusance, bee's are worse This is the end of my little verse Ooh! Aah! Ive lost my bra, I left it in my boyfriends car! Kermit the frog got a smack in the gob, For messing around with Miss Piggy He pulled down her knicks And squeezed her big tits And now shes got three little piggies! Mary had a little lamb She kept it in a bucket And everytime the lamb cried out The bulldog used to fuck it! Eeny meenie miney mo one: There goes the monkey running through the country fell down a dark hole Split his little arsehole What colour was the bloody blood? There was a vampire called Mabel Whose periods where very unstable Every full moon she'd pull out a spoon And drink herself under the table! |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,Grimduke Date: 05 Oct 08 - 04:19 PM I remember this little anti-school dinners song... say what you will school dinners make you ill, the english armies gonna win the war, our school dinn-dinn's comes from pig bins out of town! Sung to the original tune of Jack Hargreaves Out of Town. |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,d_j_yotta Date: 07 Oct 08 - 05:47 PM Sang to glory glory Hallelujah: mine eyes have seen the glory of the downfall of the school We have (missing word) all the teachers and we've broken every rule We broke in to the office and we tickled the principle Our truth is marching on Glory glory how peculiar teacher hit me with a ruler 'cause i bopped her on the bean with a rotten tangerine our truth is marching on -- We three kings of orient are trying to smoke a rubber cigar it was loaded it expoded now we're on yonder star -- My mum told me this one, so must have been around late 60's early 70's: Hot snot and goobie pie all mixed up with a dead man's eye mix it thick with an old man's stick and drink it quick with a cup of sick --- this one was popular late 80's early 90's: i'm going to the loo loo loo you can come too too too i'm gonna do a poo poo poo how about you? |
Subject: RE: Nasty Nursery Rhymes From: GUEST,coolguy Date: 13 Oct 08 - 03:15 AM Postman Spew Postman Spew Postman Spew and his black and white poo he flushed it down the dunny but then he felt all funny then he just comited suicide |
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