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Folklore: Dirty limericks [12]

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Peace 02 Dec 03 - 02:04 PM
kendall 02 Dec 03 - 02:11 PM
Midchuck 02 Dec 03 - 02:12 PM
Midchuck 02 Dec 03 - 02:15 PM
Peace 02 Dec 03 - 02:15 PM
Joe_F 02 Dec 03 - 03:11 PM
Cluin 02 Dec 03 - 03:31 PM
greg stephens 02 Dec 03 - 03:37 PM
GUEST,pdq 02 Dec 03 - 04:16 PM
GUEST,ClaireBear 02 Dec 03 - 04:23 PM
ThomasO 02 Dec 03 - 04:46 PM
Peace 02 Dec 03 - 04:58 PM
GUEST,petr 02 Dec 03 - 05:05 PM
Alaska Mike 02 Dec 03 - 05:06 PM
Raedwulf 02 Dec 03 - 05:08 PM
Bill D 02 Dec 03 - 05:58 PM
Bill D 02 Dec 03 - 06:07 PM
Dave the Gnome 02 Dec 03 - 06:15 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 03 - 06:40 PM
Alaska Mike 02 Dec 03 - 06:50 PM
pixieofdoom 02 Dec 03 - 06:53 PM
Peace 02 Dec 03 - 07:32 PM
GUEST,Cretinous Yahoo 02 Dec 03 - 07:53 PM
kendall 02 Dec 03 - 07:58 PM
Snuffy 02 Dec 03 - 08:12 PM
GUEST,Obie 02 Dec 03 - 08:24 PM
Cluin 02 Dec 03 - 09:05 PM
Alaska Mike 02 Dec 03 - 09:35 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 03 - 10:32 PM
Bill D 02 Dec 03 - 10:35 PM
GUEST,pdq 03 Dec 03 - 01:30 PM
musicmick 03 Dec 03 - 01:47 PM
Cluin 03 Dec 03 - 02:31 PM
Fred (Beetle) Bailey 03 Dec 03 - 03:27 PM
Midchuck 03 Dec 03 - 03:51 PM
mike the knife 03 Dec 03 - 03:54 PM
kendall 03 Dec 03 - 04:27 PM
C-flat 03 Dec 03 - 04:51 PM
Cluin 03 Dec 03 - 05:42 PM
Bill D 03 Dec 03 - 05:53 PM
Joe_F 03 Dec 03 - 06:41 PM
Cluin 03 Dec 03 - 07:00 PM
Leadfingers 03 Dec 03 - 07:19 PM
kendall 03 Dec 03 - 07:29 PM
GUEST 03 Dec 03 - 07:33 PM
Bill D 03 Dec 03 - 07:47 PM
Bill D 03 Dec 03 - 08:03 PM
Bill D 03 Dec 03 - 08:45 PM
Midchuck 03 Dec 03 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 03 - 11:07 PM
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Subject: BS: Raunchy limericks
From: Peace
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 02:04 PM

Limericks ain't been done to death until there is no humour left in the world. How about the best one or two you've heard (with the really bad words censored so that we all will know what they are)? NO FRIGGIN' EDWARD LEER, unless it's really dirty.

Here's for starters.

There once was a girl named Alice,
Who used a dynamite stick as a phallus;
They found her vagina
In South Carolina,
And parts of her anus in Dallas.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: kendall
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 02:11 PM

There once was a fella named Jock
He tied mandolin strings to his cock
When he got an erection
He could play any selection
From Johanne Sebastian Bach.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Midchuck
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 02:12 PM

Kendall, you ready to double-team this poor guy?

Let's see....

Far from the dirtiest, but one with a really nice flow...

As Titian was mixing Rose-madder
His model posed nude on a ladder
Her position, to Titian,
Suggested coition
So he climed up the ladder and had 'er.

Next?

P.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Midchuck
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 02:15 PM

No, no, Kendall.

It goes:

A young man from old Little Rock
Was born with a two-headed cock.
When he fondled the thing
It would rise up and sing
An antiphonal chorus by Bach.

There was young lady in Natchez
Who chanced to be born with two snatches
She often said, "Shit,
I would give either tit
For a man with equipment that matches!"

But whether these two ever met
Has not been recorded as yet.
Still, it would be diverting
To see him inserting
The thing while it sang a duet.

P.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Peace
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 02:15 PM

This is a corruption of one written by Isaac Asimov. I can't quite remember the original.

There once was a fellow named Adam,
I'll tell you his tale, it's a glad 'un;
He thought with great mirth
On the day of his birth,
There were two balls on Earth, and he had 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Joe_F
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 03:11 PM

A young lady who lived near the Bosporus
Was seduced by a red-eyed rhinocerous.
Said she, with a shriek,
"His horn is unique
And leaves the men looking preposterous."

Now everyone likes a butch guy.
That's a fact that we cannot deny.
But between butch and bitch
Is such a small switch --
Just the difference between U and I!

The youth who frequent picture palaces
Have no use for psychoanalysis.
Altho Dr Freud
Is distinctly annoyed,
They cling to their long-standing fallacies.

You can smoke a symbolic cigar.
You can ride in a long, sexy car.
But a phallic church steeple,
To sensible people,
Is stretching the thing rather far.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Cluin
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 03:31 PM

An athletic young lad named O'Hare
Was boffing a girl on the stair
When the bannister broke,
He doubled his stroke
And polished her off in mid-air


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: greg stephens
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 03:37 PM

Do cock and Bach rhyme properly in an American accent? I cant quite visualise it(that's the wrong word, auralise it, or something).
Sorry, thread creep.I'd better contribute something to get on track.
There ws a young man from Pitlochry
Who seduced a young girl on a rockery
she said as he come
All over her bum
That's not a f**k that's a mockery

(Note the asterisks, I would hate to be accused of being rude)


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: GUEST,pdq
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 04:16 PM

There was a young man named brucie
Who fell in love with a moosie
      He had not been warned
      That the ones with the horns
Are the ones which have not a poosie


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: GUEST,ClaireBear
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 04:23 PM

There once was a charming young miss
Who went down to the river to read.
A young man in a punt
Stuck his arm in her eye
And now when she reads, she needs glasses.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: ThomasO
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 04:46 PM

There was a young girl from St Helens
Who had quite fantastical melons
they were big it is true
but her c**t was big two
as big as a full colour aerial view
of Cape Horn and the straights of Magellen.

I thank you!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Peace
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 04:58 PM

Dear Greg,

Yes, they do. Additionally, I think you might want to visualise it instead of aur--oh, pardon me a million times. I see which you mean now! How foolish of me. Nasty thought on my part.

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 05:05 PM

well there was a worldwide limerick writing contest
and the surprise winner was an elderly Irish lady,
who ousted the current champion of 10 years.
when he found out about it he had to go over and meet her
and hear the limerick.

When he finally got to the small Irish village in where she lived
he asked her to say the limerick - which she declined as it is not
to polite to say in person..
he finally said just blank the dirty words and I can fill in the rest

she said ok...
da dadada
da dadada
da dadada da da
and they fucked in a bucket of shite.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 05:06 PM

There once was a nun from Siberier,
Who had a virgin interior.
Until a monk
Crawled into her bunk,
And now she's a mother superior.

Then of course, there was the fellow from Nantucket, but I'm not going to go there.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Raedwulf
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 05:08 PM

A similar one to Claire's is

There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in a pond
A man in a punt
Stuck his pole in the water
And said "You can't swim here, it's private!"

"Pole" for "arm" is so much more suggestive, I feel (fnarr-fnarr)...


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 05:58 PM

There once was a mathematician
Who preferred an exotic position.
'Twas the joy of his life
To achieve with his wife
Topologically complex coition.

Il y avait un plombier, Francois,
Qui plombait sa femme dans le Bois.
   Dit-elle, "Arrêtez!
   J'entends quelqu'un venait"
Dit le plombier, en plombant, "C'est moi!"

Es gibt ein Plummer von Tinz,
Er schläft mit ein Mädel von Linz.
   Sie sagt, "Halt sein' plummen,
   Ich höre Mann kommen."
"Jacht, jacht", sagt der Plummer, "Ich binz".


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 06:07 PM

So here was this fellow of Strensall,
Whose penis was shaped like a pencil.
   'Twas anemic, 'tis true,
   But an interesting screw,
Inasmuch as the tip was prehensile.

A sensual nympho, Miss Chisholm,
Was renowned for her fine paroxysm.
   While the man detumesced,'
   She spent on with zest..
Her rapture sheer anachronism.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 06:15 PM

There was a young man from Peel Green
Who invented a wanking machine
On the 99th stroke
The fucking thing broke
And whipped his poor bollocks to cream.

There was a young man from Belgrave
Who found a dead whore in a cave
He said "It's disgusting
But it only needs dusting
And think of the money I'll save"

Well, you did say dirty...

Cheers

:D (tG)


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 06:40 PM

The rector of Dustin St. Just
Consumed with canonical lust
Raped the Bishop's prize owls
His precious young fowls,
And a little green lizard, what bust.

There was a young fellow named Green
Who invented a f***ing machine
Both concave and convex
It would serve either sex
And service itself in between.

There was a young lady from Madras
Who had a most magnificant ass
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think,
But gray, had long ears and ate grass.

The last time I slept with the Queen
She smiled as I muttered, "Ich dien."
(No, I don't think I'll finish this one.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 06:50 PM

A beautiful girl named Egret,
Would twiddle herself while she slept.
And when she would cream
She'd wake up from her dream,
And consider herself quite adept.

There was a cockmaster named Bob,
He was huge from his balls to his knob.
No matter how large the chasm,
He could bring an orgasm.
For Bob was quite good at his job.

There once was a cowboy from Dallas
Who masterbated his phallus.
He rubbed and he played,
Til he wore away.
And now there is nothing but callus.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: pixieofdoom
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 06:53 PM

There was a yound artist named Saint
Who swallowed some samples of paint
All shades of the spectrum
Flowed out of his rectum
With a colourful lack of restraint

There was a gay man from Khartoum
Who took a lesbian up to his room
They argued all night
As to who had the right
To do what, and with which and to whom


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Peace
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 07:32 PM

Rapaire, you dog, at least put the rest of the limerick in code. That'll help me with the other one. ;)


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: GUEST,Cretinous Yahoo
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 07:53 PM

There was a young lady named Heather
Her pussy was made out of leather
She attracted the boys by making a noise
Rubbing its edges together.

A mathmetician named Hall
Had a hexihedronical ball
The cube of its weight
Plus his pecker, times eight
Was four fifths of five eights of fuck all.

The was a hermit named Dave
He dug a dead whore from her grave
She was moldy as shit
And missing a tit
But think of the money he saved. (Sorry Dave)


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: kendall
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 07:58 PM

There once was a heathen Chinee
Who humped an ape in a tree
The result was quite horrid
All arse, no forhead
Three balls and a purple goatee.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Snuffy
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 08:12 PM

The last time I dined with the King
He did a peculiar thing
He sat on a stool
And pulled out his tool
And said "If I play, will you sing?"

The dirty old Bishop of Birmingham
Once rogered three maids while confirming 'em
As they knelt seeking God
He excited his rod
And pumped his episcopal sperm in 'em

A young couple from Aberystwyth
United the organs they kissed with
By turns and degrees
On their hands and their knees
They got to the organs they pissed with


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: GUEST,Obie
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 08:24 PM

My favourite:
   There was a young lady from Thrace
   Who's corset grew too tight to lace
   Says her mother to Nellie, "There's more in your belly
   Than ever went in through your face."


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Cluin
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 09:05 PM

There was a young fellow named Perkin
Who forever was jerkin' his gherkin
His father said "Perkin,
Stop jerkin' your gherkin!
Your gherkin's fer ferkin', not jerkin'"


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 09:35 PM

I was just in the Mudchat room talking with jimmyt and he mentioned that at one time he was thinking about buying an abandoned whorehouse in Tubac, Arizona. I couldn't help writing this limerick.


Once a dentist named Jimmy the Man,
Bought a whorehouse as his financial plan,
But the whores wouldn't work,
So he said with a smirk,
"I guess I'll just run it by hand."


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 10:32 PM

There were two old maids of Birmingham
And this is the story concernin' 'em.
The lifted the frock
And diddled the cock
Of the bishop as he was confirmin' 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 10:35 PM

from memory, for Brucie:

The last time I slept with the Queen
She smiled as I muttered, "Ich dien."

   "Please put the light out,
   It's royalty's night out.
The queen may be had, but not seen".

If that's the one Rapaire knows, I have no idea why he wouldn't finish it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: GUEST,pdq
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 01:30 PM

mainly for jimmyt and Alaska Mike...


There was a young punk in a cadillac
Who spent his time listening to Tupac
       We put a bomb, so neat
       Under the moron's front seat
And pieces landed from here to Tubac


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: musicmick
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 01:47 PM

Here are a couple I wrote.

'Though potency puckers pudendum
If you've seeds in your scrotum, then spend 'em
Nor should pregnancy bother the unmarried father
Iligitimus non carberendum
(Please excuse spelling)

Sure as grave robbers gave us "skulduggery"
Sure as "mug shots" is taken from muggery
There's a six legged lass
With a cock up her ass
The true ANTecedent of buggery.

(I do others, Mr. Mack)


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Cluin
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 02:31 PM

Not limericks, but...


In days of old
When knights were bold
And condoms weren't invented
They tied their socks
Around their cocks
And babies were prevented

In days of old
When knights were bold
And toilets weren't invented
They laid their load
Beside the road
Then walked away contented

In the days of old
When knights were bold
But not overly particular
They hung a sheep
upon a pole
And shagged it perpendicular


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Fred (Beetle) Bailey
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 03:27 PM

and the grevious tale of Dead-Eye Dick
unfortunately, born with a corkscrew p***k,
who searced the world in a fruitless hunt
to find him a woman with a corkscrew c**t,
then found her, screamed and fell over dead
when he saw that she had a left-hand thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Midchuck
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 03:51 PM

This is one I composed myself. I was on a panel for an educational seminar for our county Bar Association, shortly after Vermont enacted the Civil Unions law. The seminar was about the possible effects of the new law on various forms of property. My own field was real estate, so I had nothing to say when the discussion got into the effect on various retirement accounts, particularly in light of the non-recognition of civil unions by the feds, particularly the IRS.

I sat there scribbling, and came up with the following:

A couple got married, though gay.
One wanted his friend's IRA.
He said to him, "Stover,
We need a rollover!"
"Right now?" said his partner,"Okay!"

I am aware that I will be accused of insensitivity for producing the above. I plead guilty. Insensitivity is of the essence of a good limerick. Also, I realize the above may confuse our British cousins, what with IRA having quite a different meaning over there, but it can't be helped.

Peter.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: mike the knife
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 03:54 PM

Stolen from a Vonnegut book I think...

There once was a sailor named Rex
who avoided pre-marital sex
by thinking of Jesus
and social diseases
and beating his meat below decks


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: kendall
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 04:27 PM

Folks, you may not know it, but I have dubbed Midchuck, "Peter the Great" He knows more limericks than anyone else I ever met.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: C-flat
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 04:51 PM

There once was a fellow from Kent
whose cock was exeedingly bent
to save himself trouble
he put it in double
and instead of coming he went!


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Cluin
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 05:42 PM

Well, if nobody else is gonna post this old standard, I will...


There was an old man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin
"If my ear was a c__t I could f__k it!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 05:53 PM

sure is a lot of thread creep here..*grin*...we purists would LOVE to see just good **limericks**.

(one note..it is possible to have good 'erotic' or 'adult' limericks without words that need As**risks....sometimes the poem has little to recommend it except as an excuse to say "fuck" or whatever.. I really love limericks that manage to to be clever, ribald and still not simply 'crude' dirty.)
...The one about Titian from Midchuck is a good example, and rightly famous!

From deep in the crypt at St. Giles
Came a scream that echoed for miles.
   "Well, my goodness gracious",
   Said Brother Ignacious,
"I didn't know that Your Lordship had piles!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Joe_F
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 06:41 PM

...Now, that bishop was nobody's fool --
He'd been to divinity school --
So he hauled down his breeches
And screwed those two witches
With his holy episcopal tool.

Now, one of those girls was named Sue,
And Sue said, when the bishop was through,
"The vicar was quicker
And slicker and thicker
And two inches longer than you."

Possibly not the same person:

There was once a young lady named Sue
Who preferred a stiff drink to a screw,
But one leads to the other,
And now she's a mother --
Let that be a lesson to you!

And, possibly yet another Sue:

There was once a young lady of Fife
Whose man was the bane of her life,
For he had an aversion
To every perversion,
And only liked fucking his wife.

Well, one day the poor lady struck,
And she wept, and she cursed her hard luck,
Saying, "Where have you gotten us
With your monotonous
Fuck after fuck after fuck?

I once knew a harlot named Sue,
And a versatile dame she was, too!
After ten years of whoredom,
She perished of boredom
When she married a jackass like you."


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Cluin
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 07:00 PM

And then there's this one, BillD...

Fuckfuck fuckfuckfuck fuck fuck
Fuckfuck fuckfuckfuck fuck fuck
Shittypiss shitty piss
Shit pissy pisspiss
Fuckfuck fuckfuckfuck fuck fuck


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Leadfingers
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 07:19 PM

Back in the good old days when I was a resident singer in a pub where
the landlord expected 'Rugby' songs after nine thirty we used to kick off the Limericks with :-

A Limerick packs laughs anatomical
In a space that is quite economical
But the good ones we've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical

God's plan made a hopeful beginning
But man went and spoiled it by sinning
We trust that the story
Will end in Gods Glory
But at prsent the other sides winning


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: kendall
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 07:29 PM

A broken down harlot named Tupps
Was heard to exclaim in her cups
The height of my folly
Was screwing a Collie
But, I got a good price for the pups.

a clean one?

There once was a girl named Ann Farrell
Who loved to play "Stud" for apparel
Her oponent's straight flush
Brought a maidenly blush
And a hasty trip home in a barrel.

There was a woman named Anna,
Who thought she could play the pianna
But, what do you know? on her very first show
She got hit with a rotten bananna.

There was a fella named Carter
A world class prodigious farter
He could fart anything from God Save the King
To Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 07:33 PM

I'm going under cover for this one. It's personal, made up by a former lady friend.

There once was an ageing folksinger
Who caught his dick in a wringer
Says he "It's no trouble,
I'll simply redouble
My efforts with tongue and finger."


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 07:47 PM

hmmm, Cluin...and your point is?


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 08:03 PM

(and the meter is a bit off, too)


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 08:45 PM

oh, Kendall..you remind me! Here's the full "Farter from Sparta"...a true classic..

There was a young fellow from Sparta,
A really magnificent farter,
On the strength of one bean
He'd fart God Save the Queen,
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

He could vary, with proper persuasion,
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute,
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic Caucasian.

This sparkling young farter from Sparta,
His fart for no money would barter.
He could roar from his rear
Any scene from Shakespeare,
Or Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado.

He'd fart a gavotte for a starter,
And fizzle a fine serenata.
He could play on his anus
The Coriolanus:
Oof, boom, er-tum, tootle, yum tah-dah!

He was great in the Christmas Cantata,
He could double-stop fart the Toccata,
He'd boom from his ass
Bach's B-minor Mass,
And in counterpoint, La Traviata.

Spurred on by a very high wager
With an envious German named Bager,
He proceeded to fart
The complete oboe part
Of a Haydn Octet in B-major.

His repertoire ranged from classics to jazz,
He achieved new effects with bubbles of gas.
With a good dose of salts
He could whistle a waltz
Or swing it in razzamatazz.

Hi basso, with timbre so rare
He rendered with power to spare.
But his great work of art,
His fortissimo fart,
He saved for the Marche Militaire.

One day he was dared to perform,
The William Tell Overture Storm,
But naught could dishearten
Our spirited Spartan,
For his fart was in wonderful form.

It went off in capital style,
And he farted it through with a smile,
Then, feeling quite jolly,
He tried the finale,
Blowing double-stopped farts all the while.

The selection was tough, I admit.
But it did not dismay him one bit,
Then, with ass thrown aloft
He suddenly coughed...
And collapsed in a shower of shit.

His bunghole was blown back to Sparta,
Where they buried the rest of our farter,
With a gravestone of turds
Inscribed with the words:
"To the Fine Art of Farting, A Martyr."


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Midchuck
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 10:51 PM

I am a most virtuous bloke.
I do not drink, swear chew or smoke.
All vices eschewing,
I stick to my screwing;
And sometimes, on Sundays, snort coke.

A nude wooed a prude in Bermuda
He was nude, she was shrewd, he was shrewder.
She said, "It is lewd,
To be wooed in the nude"
But he wooed her, pursued her, and screwed her.

The inbred sixth Viscount of Hume
Kept, always, a boy in his room;
And would take, as his right,
On each serf's wedding night,
His Droit du Signeur, from the groom.

P.


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Subject: RE: BS: Dirty limericks
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 11:07 PM

A gay young student from Gotham
Said "Police, pimps and priests can be rotten.
But be sins great or small
I've found that them all
Can be a fine fellow, at bottom.


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