BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 04:13 PM

Here ya go:

1. Shane does something. Being a better Big Brother than I am, Don takes the rap and goes off to the local place of durance vile.

2. Shane, in a fit of alcoholic remorse, joins the Trappists and ends up in Madagascar.

3. Meanwhile, back in Blind River, someone else realizes (or, being Canadian, realises) that with Don in the hoosegow and Shane off to the cloister the road to steal Shane's identity is wide open (as is the beer cooler and Don's bank account).

4. Shane is kicked out of the Trappists and sent back to Canada, but misses his plane and ends up in Amsterdam. Eventually, the Canadian Consulate arranges a trip home for him on an icebreaker and to pay his way back he's put to cleaning the heads.

5. Someone else pretends to be Shanetta, Shane's twin sister. But IWTATBM confesses that was her/him. But another Shanetta appears, one with a PhD in Computational Physics (or so she claims).

6. Shane's icebreaker is re-routed to the Boothia Peninsula on a rescue mission, which does not make Shane happy.

7. Someone posts as Don McBride, claiming that Shane really is his brother. Immediately thereafter, someone claiming to be Shane posts that Don posted because he (Shane) "ast" him to.

So we have Don, Shane, Shane, and Shanetta. And I think it's time for a bunch of DNA tests.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 03:44 PM

That's an interesting theory IWTATBM but I'm still a little fuzzy on exactly what you mean.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 03:36 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 03:24 PM

OK, so are you saying that the real Shane really did go to Madagascar (then to Amsterdam and on to the Boothia Penisula where he may be freezing to death at this very moment) and in his absence we had a fake Shane (maybe two or three) and that now this fake Shane is also fake Don and a fake Shanetta showed up who may be a real Shanetta but may not because the McBride boys might not even have a sister? Is that what you are saying?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 05:23 PM

It's very possible that Don is still in jail for "Shane" and that "Shane" himself posted as Don. The hoser doth protest too much, methinks. Could the "Shane" on the icebreaker be the real one and this one a...dare I say it?...a fake??? With Don in jail it would be simple for someone else to assume the identity of "Shane McBride."

I say, let's have DNA testing and sort this out once and for all!

As for "Shane" -- you DO know what the penalties are for identity theft, don't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 03:52 PM

I AST him to post you stoppid retread! Whaddya think, eh? Is yer flippin' head good fer anything excpet stickin' it up yer own wazoo?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 03:49 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 01:41 PM

I suspect that he was in jail, taking the rap for "Shane" as usual.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 01:08 PM

I find it intersting that Don suddenly shows up. Where has he been all this time? Is it just a coincidence that I ask about him and he posts later the same day? I think not. I fear something dark and sinister lurking just beneath the surface in Blind River. We may be sorry we ever asked, but the Genie is out of the bottle now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 11:41 AM

Fascinating questions indeed, Rapaire. We need a full family history of the McBride clan ASAP so we can get to the bottom of this.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 09:16 AM

I think that DNA testing is in order. If Don and "Shane" do have a sister they might never have known -- family pride and all that: a good student, a sister with a doctorate, in THEIR family? Besides, they may have been told and have simply forgotten or had the knowledge washed away in the beer.

As for the other "Shane" I supppose that it could be Don's brother. Off on a bender with a friend, a fit of alcoholic remorse, joining the Trappists, the friend (and who can tell what he looks like, since greasey hair, yellow teeth, bloodshot eyes, and random beard stubble all look alike?) moves in to sponge off Don. Even the odors of stale tobacco smoke, stale beer and ancient biological mishaps would smell the same.

No, I think DNA testing is in order. Where can we get a sample of the McBride parents' DNA? All of the other four will provide it, drunk or sober. But...

What happens if we find that none of them are related? Or that Certain Familial Skeletons emerge from the closet?

Oh my, but this could be as exciting as the time Lady Pru's biscuit broke off in her tea whle she was entertaining the Governour-General!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 10:07 PM

Hey. It's Don here, eh? Well, well....ha! ha! Looks like the little brother is havin' a shitfit over people stealin' his idenity, eh? What a hoot! I mean, like, WHO would WANT TO????? Har! Har! Har! Geez, I been laffin' so hard my stomuck hurts, eh?

Okay, number 1 is...I don't buy this crap about no sister called Shanetta. No flippin' way. We woulda heard aobut it long before this, eh? It's jsut someone tryin' to piss off idiot-boy, that is all, and they are doin' a real good job, eh? Har! Har!

Numbetr 3, there is someone else pretendin' they are the idiot-boy or maybe there is more than one of them, flipped if I know, but one thing is flippin' sure....the idiot-boy is HERE, like always, spongin' off my hard work, pissin' off the local women, bummin' smokes and generally screwin' up bigtime. So what else is new, eh? Not much.

But there is a new waitress over at the Iron Horse and she's been givin' me the eye, so I gotta leave you flipheads to sort it out among yerselves, eh? Have fun! I know I'm gonna. See youse later.

- Don

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 06:22 PM

This is flippin' gettin' out of hand! I will hafta go and get my brother Don to flippin' testyfy on my be-flippin'-half, eh? He does not get on the flippin' net too much. I never flippin' thought when I started this flippin' thread that this would happen. My faith in flippin' hyumanaty has taken a serious hit, eh? It's a flippin' outraige!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 05:14 PM

So how many Shanes are there now? I think we are still at two but I'm not sure. Are there two Shanettas or none, or maybe one? And what about Don? He has been suspiciously absent from this entire episode (mostly), does he know something?

IWTATBM, why should we believe your most recent 'confession'? How do we know that IWTATBM is your real name anyway, you could have been an imposter from the first. Have you been in the tomato patch? (The library still didn't have a copy of "Fried Green Tomatoes" last weekend, I will try again.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 03:31 PM

%)*& %%$£"!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 03:18 PM

Your punishment is to stay and suffer. But then, you might like that. Suffering, I mean. But if you were forced to leave then you'd like that suffering, too.

I know! You can stay and post, but you can't say anything.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 03:14 PM

I have to confess that I am not nor ever have been the originator of the posts from Shanetta and confessed to creating the character because I am a confession freak. The obvious English phraseology suggested that I might get away with it, but I cannot live with my false confession. There, I have confessed again, but for genuine reasons this time. If anyone wants me to withdraw from the thread for bringing it into disrepute just say and I will leave with my tail between my legs (did I mention I was a dog?).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 01:58 PM

My brother is a firefighter. He has some interesting stories along the lines of coconut butt. Recently he was telling me about a collapsible light saber that had found its way into a fellows nether region. He declined to retrieve it, an ambulance was requested.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 09:43 PM

Well, Chongo, as they say, "Each to his own banana." If you want to do that I certainly wouldn't stand in the way of your creative impulse.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 09:35 PM

I'd rather shove a coconut up my own butt than get a P.H.D. in Computational Physics...

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 09:31 PM

I don't think she's gonna do that, "Shane." I don't think she's even gonna supply bail money. Isn't it great to have such a loving sister?

God. A Ph.D. in computational physics.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 09:14 PM

Awww fer flip's sake! The flippin' stuff I gotta put up with here! Geez! It's worse than the loosers in the flippin' joint, eh? Youse people are all nuts, that is yer problem. I'm gonna have a bout 5 beer and pretend I din't hear that.

- Shane

p.s. If you are real..."Shanetta"...prove it. Send money, beer, and smokes to Box 191, Blind River. We preefer Players Light. Over and flippin' OUT.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Dr. Shanetta McBride
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 09:06 PM

I am very glad that the imposture has ended. I follow the antics of my twin, Shane, with a mixture of concern and amusement: concern that he is killing himself with smoking and drinking and amusement because his actions ARE amusing.

Shane and I were born fraternal twins, and that's where the similarities end. While I have always been known as "Shanetta McBride" our parents could not afford three children and I was put up for adoption. My adoptive parents were kind, educated, well-off, and nurturing people who through no fault of theirs could not have children.

Reading was encouraged in our home and I could read quite well by the time I started school. I don't remember when I first learned to play the piano, but music opened up a whole new world to me, one which eventually led me to a doctorate in computational physics.

I only recently learned of Shane's existence; my adoptive father told me of him as he lay dying (Mom passed away four years ago). He told me of this website and told me that it would be best if my twin brother never knew of my existence.

Shane, I will tell you only this: I live and work in Canada and I will watch you. I will not lend you or Don money; you really should make your own way. If you wish to finish school I will arrange it and you will be given an allowance sufficient for your needs as long as you maintain an Honours average. Your mind is quite good enough to do so.

Your loving sister,
Shanetta McBride, PhD (Cambridge)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 04:55 PM

Seems you ALL knew it was me all along and were either humouring me or laughing at me. I feel such a fool and may never be able to show my face on this thread again. Farewell.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 04:18 PM

Maybe it's because you said he 'nics me bras'

That is not phraseology that would be used on this side of the pond.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 03:52 PM

It's a fair cop, guvnor (as we say in Britain). It was me all along. I am Shanetta. You really are a super sleuth Shane, absolutely brilliant detective work. How could you tell Shanetta sounded English - it's not that you can here me speaking or anything? The story begins when my cookie went down and I became GUEST. Before reigniting the cookie, I thought I'd have a little fun - and I would have gotten away with it if it hadn't of been for that meddlin 'brother' of mine.

And sorry for the crudity, it took me a great deal of effort to get into the role, which I did for the art.

Farewell Shanetta, you graced our thread for a while and it seems that now you are gone forever. Hey, part of me really has left the thread forever, never to return…

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 08:07 AM

That was a low blow, "Shane," and I apologize. I should have realized that they must have made you take a bath.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 08:06 AM

Sick on St. Patrick's Day, eh? What did they do, serve you a glass of water?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 10:31 PM

She is a flippin lyer! Me and Don ain't got no sister...unlest our Dad maybe soad a few of them wild oats when he was outta town, eh? It is possible. But I ain't herd of no sister named Shanetta. Therefour I say it is a lie! She don't talk like no one from Blind River eether. She sounds like a flippin' whatever you call 'em...from England or somethin' like that. Just anuther flippin' wannabee who wishes she was in this fambly is how I see it.

Man was I sick after the St Partiricks Day party. Holy flip. I thought I was gonna die. But now I am gettin' back to abnormal...har! har!

That was a joke, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 10:09 PM

Your brother Shane must be rich as Bill Gates then, considering all the time he's done.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Shanetta
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 03:45 PM

If ya gotta ask which brother Im talkin about you don't flippin now the McBrides very well do ya Repair. There's only one McBride that nics me bras and that's Shane, me twin. he uses them to disgyse himslef to get in to the ladys changin rooms at the local gymnoseum. he usually gets caught if he forgets to shave fisrt, but not alweays hu hu.

An they don't talk abat me cos I'm the black sheep of the flippin family the near doo well. anyway iv got business to do so iaint wastin me time here with you flipface lowsers. times money.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 08:37 AM

A sister? You gotta be kiddin', a sister! Well, well, well, what next?

Suppose Shane can get any booty in Boothia? I assume they don't know him there so he might have a shot.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 07 - 02:11 PM

Ah, the Boothia Peninsula! Graveyard of those searching for the NW Passage in the 1840s! What wonders, I wonder, will you wanderings discover? The bones of Franklin, perhaps?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Mar 07 - 01:07 PM

Way to go, man. Get in there and scrub, baby, scrub! God, you are soooo lucky. A free ocean cruise in the majestic frozen north.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 18 Mar 07 - 10:46 AM

You know flippin' what? We've been rerooted to some flippin' place call Bootheel or Boothie or Boothia or something! Some flippin' bolthole has got his boat stuck and since we're the flippin' closest we get to put this flippin' idiot out of trouble! I'd like to put his out of his misery! Blind River, nothin', it don't look like I'm goin' to get to Haliflippinfax!

And it's COLD! And last night the flippin' cook served flippin' cabbage and bean burritos! The heads flippin STINK and I gotta clean 'em up!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 18 Mar 07 - 07:01 AM

Good news, there seems to be no conspiracy against me after all! It was as you said Rapaire, just an expired cookie. I overreacted and formed what seemed to be the most obvious conclusion. Easy mistake to make. I am back in the fold. By the way I didn't know Don and Shane had a sister, why would they keep it quiet?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 09:34 PM

OMIGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't say that, please. I have to sleep tonight.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 09:15 PM

Watermelons....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 08:48 PM

Or two tangerines...depending on the size of the bra.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 08:36 PM

Maybe he needs a carrier so he can get two grapefruit home from the store. I figger that's what he'd think it was for.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 06:32 PM

Such disrespect! My, my. Shane is going to be very ticked off. I wonder what's up with that boy?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 06:04 PM

1. FFP, your cookie probably expired. Re-login and all will be well.

2. Shanetta, you'd better be precise. WHICH one are you looking for? Has Don gone in for cross-dressing? Or is it the other one, and if so, which one? Well, wait, one's on an icebreaker so it must be the other one; if it's him he probably just wants to make a double-barreled slingshot.

Or finlly exam one up close and this is the only chance he's had....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Shanetta
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 05:20 PM

Has anyone seen that low down flippin brother of mine? He's nicked me best bra. If you see him, tell him I'll flippin kill him.

Best wishes

Shanetta

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,FFP
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 05:11 PM

Oh, .... Oh, well done Rapaire, congratulations, 1500 eh?

It seems i am now just 'GUEST'. Is there a conspiracy at work? Is everyone plotting to get rid of me? Does Jo Offer want me out?

IW FFP

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 05:00 PM

1500!!!! It's me! i'll go down in thread history. This is the most important moment of my life. Thanks to all my friends who helped me get to this place.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 04:11 PM

1500 just for the hell of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 04:11 PM

grab

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 04:11 PM

I'll

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 04:10 PM

Oh,

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 10:41 AM

It's not for the weak of heart, I can tell you that.