BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 07 - 04:11 PM

113 So. Garfield Avenue, Pocatello, Idaho

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 May 07 - 03:48 PM

Hey, I found Blind River on Google Earth. I couldn't see Shane so it seems he really has left there in search of love.

Now, who shall I spy on next? HA HA HA!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 May 07 - 03:35 PM

"Gosh, where have I heard someone say that before?"

I really did LOL on that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Shawna from Blind River
Date: 04 May 07 - 03:20 PM

"even Shane ought to know better than that"

LOL! Gosh, where have I heard someone say that before? I just keeps on happening for some reason.... Me and my friends got the great candid photos of Shane peeing on the back wall of the donut shop with Susie's digital camera! It is because of us that the idiot got arrested. Ha! Ha! We have given out lots of copies of the photos so people can laugh at Shane like we do. He is such a loser.

His brother Don is kind of cute though...and he's got a pickup truck. I would go out with Don if he asked me, even if he is getting a little old for me.

Shane has left town. He is looking for his "true love", the lady cop. Ha! Ha! Ha! Omigod I am laughing so hard here that it hurts. I want to see what happens when he finds her. Will he get down on his knees and propose? I wish we could be there to take pictures if he does. Omigod.

Yes, KB, Tim Hortons is THE Canadian donut shop, and I work there part time. There is a Tim Hortons in any town that is really what you could call a town at all. It is a fact of life here. We have one Tim Hortons in Blind River, but there are lots of them in Sudbury.

I will be surprised if Shane ever makes it to Huntsville. I bet he stays in Sudbury and ends up getting arrested.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 May 07 - 02:50 PM

So our Northern Shane intends to work a gold mine 'this winter'? Since it is early May I can only conclude that there will be no meeting of the Shanes any time soon. Every time I get to thinking the big dust up is drawing near something like this happens. That doesn't even take into account the fact that Southern Shane is in Sudbury (guess he made it past McKerrow) on his way to Huntsville (until quite recently I was picturing Officer Dana in Alabama).

And another thing, when Southern Shane was telling us about his trouble with the law regarding his lack of discretion behind Tim Horton's I had pictured him out behind a bar. After looking into things a bit it now seems that Tim Horton's is a donut shop. Somehow pissing on the back wall of a donut shop just doesn't have the same panache. Plus, if you don't want the cops to see you taking a leak in public don't pee on a donut shop. Geez, even Shane ought to know better than that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 07 - 09:06 AM

"Shane" is genetic. The peristalsis of his peculiar gene pool.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: AWG
Date: 04 May 07 - 08:51 AM

Who the hell would ever want to live in Blind River ?? I mean, look what it did to Shane. Yikes. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 07 - 08:45 AM

Ah, "Shane," take it from one who KNOWS, man: libraries have intrusion alarms and smoke detectors and these will bring cops and firefighters really fast. And if this one doesn't have them I suggest you get out BEFORE the staff arrives, because if they find out you've been eating the stuff in the Staff Room they'll fling whatever will be left of your broken, bleeding body into the toilet and flush it away.

Believe this. Nothing annoys a library staff more than somebody eating their stuff uninvited, except maybe people smoking in the library. And if you think they ain't tough, think two or three times more, even if it hurts. Because if they catch you, you WILL hurt. I promise you.

The last time I heard of the staff catching someone in a library it was up in Manitoba. When they had finished making him listen to a recorded book of Danielle Steel they...they pumped a gallon (3+ liters) of library paste up his, well, his you-know-what and then fed him some laxative and threw him out into the street.

Bits and pieces of the guy found all over central Manitoba.

The cops just smiled and had another cup of library coffee and a donut from Tim's.

Believe me, man.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 03 May 07 - 11:20 PM

It makes me flippin' sad to think that sume delusatory fliphead who thinks he is ME is way the hell up in flippin' Alaska thinkin' that he is gonna mind gold and then flippin' come to Blind River and just, like, pretend he is ME? Holy flip. What a retread this idiot must be! What a flippin' looser!

It makes me sick to know that idiots like that are, like, out there and are still aloud to run arownd and make a flippin' nyusiance of themself, eh?

Pa-flippin'-THET-ic is what that is, eh?

Well, I am in the big city now, eh? Subury. I been in Sudbury plenty of times and I am, like, almost a seelebritty here becoz I got arrestted here on a few ocncasions. Like the time me and Don stole the school bus and then robbed the likker store, eh?

Anyways, I am campin' out at a liberry here. I am smart, eh? You know why? Becoz what I did was I hid out behind the bookshelfs until all the flippin' staff had left. Now I got the place all to myself. I got a nice couch to sleep on here, lotsa water fountains, and there is food and coffee in the flippin' staff room! HA! HA! HA! I am livin' high here. I will have a nice time and sneak out in the mornin' after they open the place up again. Boy, am I smart. I definately got the brains in the McBride fambly, no flippin' questtion about that, eh?

No one seen me. I got this hole place to myself. Right now I am sittin' behind a BIG flippin' desk and smokin' a cigar. Ha! Ha! I found them in a drawer. YOU ain't apposed to flippin' smoke in here but who is gonna stop me? Who? No-flippin'-buddy! I am home free.

This is cool. I might stay a couple more days. Then it is on to Huntsville and the woman of my dreams.

- Shane McBride, the one and only, the man with the plan!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 03 May 07 - 11:19 PM

Thar's gold in them there hills, he said.

What's it washed with arsenic?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 07 - 10:01 PM

Methinks the boy knoweth not what he hath gottenth himself into....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 03 May 07 - 09:13 PM

I got me a flippin' DEAL!! I'm gonna be flippin' RICH, man! See, I was in this bar drinkin' cheapo beer, which ain't cheep up hear, and got to tlaking with this guy. And he owns a flippin' GOLD MINE! So he tels me that he's got to go to Ottawa this coming Winter becuz his mother is therea nd nedes an operashun and if I'd work his gold mine for him this Winter he'd give me haf of the gold I minged. So I said, "How hard is it? and he said that the gold is in sand that I have to shofel so it can be washed. Washin' flippin' sand! and then you look at these things across the washing thing and just pick the gold rite out!

Flippin' EASY! So I said ok and he said he'd give me a hnudret dollers for a retenter and I signed a paper that I'd work for him.

So I'm gonna be flippin' RICH and Don is gonna just SHIT when I driv up in a new car and all the skanks will be all over me but I'm gonna hold out for Officer Dana. Flippin' RICH!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,carl
Date: 03 May 07 - 06:19 PM

"My heart goes out for Shane, not my Shane...the other Shane, Shane's mother said in frustration".

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 07 - 06:08 PM

You put an "m" in "critical mass."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 May 07 - 02:57 AM

That is so true. Very perceptive. If the 2 Shanes ever meet it may trigger a "critical mass" situation that will bring an end to life as we know it...perhaps even to this entire universe we are living in.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 02 May 07 - 10:51 PM

The only person who can outdo Shane is Shane. i

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 07 - 08:40 PM

"Shane" was in Africa, or at least in Madagascar, when he was known as Brother Crispin Fiacre and in the Trappists.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 02 May 07 - 07:28 PM

Kind of sounds like some type of code.

Does anyone know how to interpret code?

Could Shane be hiding out in Africa?

Maybe I am wrong or off base, but I'm leaning towards going with my gut on this one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 02 May 07 - 07:19 PM

http://www.georgetown.edu/faculty/ballc/animals/

Am I wrong, Does the Zebra on this web site sound a bit like Shane.

Could he be giving us a sign/message?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 May 07 - 10:17 AM

Perhaps that is just as well. As interested as I am in plumbing the depths of Shane's vision, it may be akin to staring at the sun.

At first reading I thought that the "Kama Sutra" you mention might actually be Shane's work but, after reflecting, it seems unlikely. If a copy with everything but the naughty bits blacked out were to surface, that might lend itself to an alternate interpretation.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 07 - 09:45 AM

These books are gathered and burned by a group called People Demonstrating A Love Of Literature And Good Taste (PDALOLAGT). Three copies (one autographed!) escaped: one is in the Extremely Controlled Room at the Library of Congress and is kept in a locked and armored box inside a heavy safe (which is welded shut) inside a vault inside a solid 2,000 kg. cube of concrete; the autographed copy is in the Secret and Condemned Archives of the Vatican Library, and it will be burned when the air pollution laws permit; and the last remaining copy is in the Rare Book Collection at the Miskatonic University Library.

From time to time books show up on the market purporting to be copies of these works but they are found to be something else: the US Budget, "Dick and Jane Visit Grandmother", and, most lately, an unillustrated copy of the "Kama Sutra" with all the naughty bits blacked out.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 May 07 - 09:34 AM

I think I am beginning to understand our current "Shane" situation. Could we really expect such an expansive personality to be contained in a single vessel (mentally if not physically). As for me, I am heading to the library.

Rapaire, with your vast resources perhaps you could see about obtaining copies of these most fascinating sounding volumes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 May 07 - 10:38 PM

Nice piece of imaginative writing. ;-) You helped make my day a little more surreal.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 01 May 07 - 09:01 PM

:)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 May 07 - 08:44 PM

Good lord.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 01 May 07 - 07:59 PM

Shane, the missing years


In 87 Shane was a remarkable man, already: the author of three books, and a bachelor. He was intense and serious, and had trained himself to live with the minimum of sleep. He wanted the world to benefit from his knowledge.

Because he had befriended influencial European socialites, Shane had rapidly established a spectacular writing career: He traveled through the entire western part of Europe.

The only time he took from his writing and search for knowledge was for his over-indulgence in bath. By bath I mean his actual immersion. After he had been out in the sun and had taken a bath, he enjoyed being rubbed down and dried while he had a book read to him or dictated notes. He exprressed sympathy for those who did not to devote time to intense bath pursuits.

When traveling he seemed free from other responsibilities and gave every minute to writing. He kept a secretary at his side with book and notebook. She saw that in winter his hands were protected with cream and long sleeves, so that the bitter dry weather did not rob him of a single working hour. He wore a veil to avoid any illness. For the same reason, he preferred to be carried through his rented villa in a roman chair. He often scolded others for walking; according to him they should not waste time, for any time wasted would not be devoted to work. His writing that had begun in a spirit of inquiry, later became a humanitarian mission. When considering Shane's maniacal working habits, one starts to understand why he remained unmarried

Shane admitted that his first three books were not "independent or inspired" works. The writings were a haphazard collection of incidents and suggestions, that were quickly forgotten by most. His novelty style of writing of was seen as "strange" by many critics. One can only assume that his problems with grammar contributed to a shortened writing career.

Shortly after his return to America, Shane released his fourth book, an illustrated guide to horseback lawn dart throwing. It is thought that he had acquired and honed this skill in the somewhat shady Italian rural sub culture. So impressive were his illustrated techniques that they could be carried out in total darkness. It was intended for a small, but growing, sport market.

After publishing this fourth, and somewhat unsuccessful, book, Shane began to reflect, "is this a field where a serious writer can command respect"? He was then twenty one years old, good looking and well travelled.
He now faced up to the reality, while considering himself a reliable writer, he must begin to search for a new career. As with his writings, deflation befell his small investment portfolio, earlier established by his late grand mother.

Most saw that Shane was not thetype of man to cope with a sudden career choice. Regardless, he preferred to go it alone. With his frustration came disturbing dreams he encountered in youth. He frequently awoke to see a shady Italian figure standing over him. From this omen, perhaps, only Shane understood that success was not on the horizon.

After exhausting a number of career choices, Shane saw writing as his only course. He attempted to secure funds for yet one more book. He proposed to reluctant publishers a book on medical uses of oysters, parakeets, Italian trees, and the walnut, the physiological effects of wine, embroidery and dyeing woolen cloth, the secrets of good farming, (including a section on flax, and medical remedies from elephant and lion milk). He never really recovered from the total rejection he experienced from publishers and financers.

He began to dwell on what he saw as the signs of impending death and the decay of morality. He ordered his staff to ensure that a fast boat was always made ready at dockside. It seems that he developed a phobia of dying during a water evacuation. As he became asthmatic, he constantly feared being overcome by noxious sulphurous fumes.

While disgracing himself as a writer, he eventually came around and devoted the rest of his life to more successful exploits.

"A fortunate man, is one who has the power to do something that is worth recording, or to write what is worth reading". Shane is possibly one of these men.

From, Shane, thew missing years...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 May 07 - 05:55 PM

Anyone seen 'No Shanes' McBride?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 May 07 - 04:06 PM

That really gets the tears welling up.

I am a bit concerned, neither "Shane" has checked in since Saturday. I do hope there haven't been any issues.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 01 May 07 - 02:56 PM

A poem attributed to Shane.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I like corn flakes
Can you skate.

Does it pas the Shane test?

More of Shanes unknown exploits to follow.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 May 07 - 01:51 PM

Spot the Duck!

He wasn't there at first, I had to hit "Click to refresh"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 01 May 07 - 01:44 PM

Give them the red carpet treatment

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 May 07 - 01:24 PM

When I linked to it before there was water in the foreground. It looked like a much more inviting place then, somewhere that a duck could be a duck. It looks like a prison now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 May 07 - 01:04 PM

I see a duck on duck cam. However it looks penned in so perhaps this is not a rare sighting.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 May 07 - 12:43 PM

I think it's time to bring back the duck cam.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 01 May 07 - 12:27 PM

but a new star is born
- it's all "reality TV" now K.B.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 May 07 - 12:07 PM

The melodious sound of the duck call has, sadly, fallen out of favor with the general population of classical music lovers. How sad it is to see the once proud purveyors of those time honored tunes reduced to traveling the back roads in search of a paying gig in a seedy flop house. Oh how I long for the days of yore when duck call bands could be heard in the best venues in the land on any given evening. I fear those days are gone forever.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 01 May 07 - 11:52 AM

in later life poor Polly was reduced to the life of an itinerant muscian

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 May 07 - 10:32 AM

Probably the most prized possession in my musical library is a scratchy 78 of Sweet Polly and the Purebreds performing Mendelssohn's Rondo capriccioso, for duck call in E major, Op. 14. It is truly sublime.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 May 07 - 10:24 AM

It's even more limited if you play the moose call.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 07 - 09:42 AM

Yeah, she's a real bitch underneath it all. She's the one who sold Pearl into White Slavery, from which (of course) Pearl escaped before she suffered A Fate Worse Than Death only to fall into the hands of The Deranged Crazies, a heavy-metal rock band who forced her to perform without hearing protection and thereby threatened to deafen her shell-like ears until the stage collapsed during a concert and she was able to throw off the shackles of rock-n-roll and once again embrace her true musical calling, the little-known saxophone concertoes of Johann Sebastian Bach (which she studied and perfected at the prestigious music school at the University of Southern North Dakota at Hoople). Which is why Polly has always been insanely jealous of Pearl, since Polly only plays the duck call and the orchestral music for that is quite limited.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:20 PM

Damn, it was 17:18 Mudcat time.

I always thought that under Sweet Polly's demure exterior burned a seething passion. She was pretty hot for a cartoon dog.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:18 PM

17:17 Mudcat time!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:18 PM

Polly Purebred is Pearl Pureheart's libidinous second cousin twice removed on her Uncle Manley Oakes side.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:17 PM

It's 16:16 where I am. Damn, now it's 16:17.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 03:40 PM

It's 20:40 where I am.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:50 PM

Now see, that is where this whole global community thing gets dicey. It was 10:37 in my neck of the woods when I said in my post that the 10:43 was coming. The time stamp on my post is for 11:37 which makes me either a liar or a fool (or the possesser of the best set of ears this side of the pecos). Will Sweet Polly Purebred be the worse for this digital divide?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:41 PM

"Shane" is a bit geographically challenged....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 11:37 AM

1. I think he will get out of Massey but will he make it as far as McKerrow?

2. Seems a fellow would notice that he was going through the mountains on the way to Mayo. Near as I can tell there aren't a whole lot of mountains between Boothia and Blind River. Driving into the sunset might have been a tipoff as well.

3. If he can get her untied and off the tracks before the 10:43 rolls into town. I can hear the whistle already.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 04:54 PM

This is getting interesting.

1. Will "Shane" ever get out of Massey and continue down The Road To Love?
2. Will "Shane" ever get out of Mayo and continue down The Long Road Home?
3. Will Pearl Pureheart be rescued by Sgt. Preston from A Fate Worse Than Death, even though Yukon King is ill from tainted salmon?

Cast YOUR vote for 1, 2 or 3....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 01:40 PM

This is me, eh? I am in the liberry in Massey. I see that the tfipplin' im;oposter is in some libeery in a place clalled Mayo. I hope he flippin' dies there too. I looked up Mayo on, like, Mapqwest, eh?   It is in the flippin' Yukon! Not only that...it is so far flippin' outta the way of anythin' else that you could flppin' drop an A-bom on the place and I seeriously dowt that anyone would flippin' notise or even care!

Flip me. Sounds like exacrtly the place where a flippin' imposter shoud be, eh?

I hope he gets ate by a flippin' kodeeak bear.

Anyways, the trip to Huntsville ain't goin' so well. I guess maybe I am not wearin' the right clothes becoz I don't seem to get to many rides bein' offered when I'm hichin' at teh side of the road. Maybe it is the FREE SEX T-shirt that they do not like?

I will hafta see if I can score some other clothes. There is a Sally Ann place arownd here with a drop box. Sounds like the place to go. I will hit the drop box when no one is lookin' and get a whole new outfit, eh? Flippin' decent.

Die, im;pstoer, die!

Yers,

Shane McBride (the real one.)