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BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 13 Jun 07 - 04:20 PM 0087613-XD is alone right now. We couldn't accommodate 0087613-XD's request for a large room, but we were able to find one that measures 4 x 4 x 2 feet. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 13 Jun 07 - 01:36 PM Rapaire, have you treated 0087613-XD to the spiritual benefits of some time alone to clarify his thoughts? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 13 Jun 07 - 12:03 PM Pours beer over women, huh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 13 Jun 07 - 12:02 PM Well, beer is easier to come by. Uh.....hmmm. Or is it the other way around? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 13 Jun 07 - 11:41 AM Prefers beer over women, huh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 13 Jun 07 - 11:32 AM They chose Blind River. He's been partying and celebrating with Don. He seems to have gotten sidetracked from the Huntsville/Officer Dana quest for a bit. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 13 Jun 07 - 09:54 AM Shane, did they drop you off in Huntsville or back in Blind River? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 12 Jun 07 - 10:03 AM Enemy? We have no enemies in the spa. Only those who must be brought back into harmony with the Universe by restoring their physical, mental, and spiritual balance. For example, we found that one of our guests had weak breathing. To strengthen the lungs and chest we put the guest on the floor and gently fastened his arms and legs so that he formed an "X". This would help him utilize his full lung power. Then we put a board over his chest and put weights on it to strengthen his chest muscles. Each day we added more weight. 0087613-XD needs other therapy, and we are currently trying to decide between manicures, finger exercises, or a simple mechanically-assisted stretching session. We might remove some of that unwanted body hair, too -- our hot-wax technicians are very good. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 12 Jun 07 - 09:51 AM Rapaire, if you claim Prisoner Number 0087613-XD is an 'enemy of the state' you can do away with the niceties. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Jun 07 - 11:59 PM And so the day becomes a little more surreal... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 11 Jun 07 - 11:40 PM Prisoner Number 0087613-XD is sentenced to all the dry bread which can be eaten one day and is able to have all the water the prisoner wants on the next day, but on no day shall the prisoner have both. And the bread shall be of the "salt rising" variety and the water from the ditch, gutter, or other natural water source nearest the |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 11 Jun 07 - 05:12 PM Awww...flip me. Geez. Maybe I should not of wigged out at ya like that, Rapaire. That was achshully a flippin' not bad idea you had there. Geez. I am real sorry, man. Maybe it is still worth a try, eh? Maybe if I act sorta strange every now and then...like I'm beaming signals back or somethin'. I will put the silver suit on, go out in the backyard late at night, and act like I'm communicatin' important stuff back to the mother ship. Yeah. Cool! - Shane |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 11 Jun 07 - 03:44 PM Don't forget to give |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 11 Jun 07 - 03:16 PM Besides, dummy, I was trying to get your brother to report it to the police so that Officer Jennifer Dana would come looking for you. Who do you think they'd send, Sergeant Preston of the Yukon? Jeez, I try to do something nice and get slammed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 11 Jun 07 - 03:01 PM "Shane," autographing a book with an "X" isn't really very hard. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 11 Jun 07 - 02:05 PM Welcome back, Shane. Did you meet Cp'n Kirk? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 11 Jun 07 - 01:38 PM Hey, Rap-man? FLIP YOU!!! You are always cozin' trouble, man. You are a flip-faced son of a skank that don't know nothin' about nothin'. Here I have been addcuted by laiens and took 50,000 flippin' light years outa my way and then excaped by my own flippin' brilliansse and you are tryin' to flippin' coz a splt atween me and my big brother! You are a flippin' bolthole. I know stuff now that nobody knows becoz I have seen things that nmost peple will never ever see. I KNOW all about the aliens, man. I am gonna write a book and get rich. When I am signin' copies of that book and you come crawlin' to me for a ottograff I will just laff in yer stoopid face! Ha! Ha! Eat me, you flipfaced jerkwad!@ - Shane (home again at last!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 11 Jun 07 - 10:14 AM I was gone for a couple of days. Anything interesting happen while I was out? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 10 Jun 07 - 11:57 PM Don, please take my advice to heart and call the cops!! Only they have the resources to tell if this creature is "Shane" or some chlorine-breathing space alien with a mouth full of poison teeth waiting until you are asleep to do unspeakable things to you. If you don't call the cops, well, I hope you get to like their "probes." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 10 Jun 07 - 05:00 PM Sorry, but it's for IWTATBM's own good. Yes, IW (or as IWTATBM is called around here, Number 0087613-XD) is kept chained to wall, toes barely touching the ground, next to a former guard, but it's all for 0087613-XD's own good. You've heard the statement "No Pain, No Gain." We're doing all we can to make 0087613-XD gain from this little experience. The chaining up, for instance, is good for the back -- you'd pay a chiropractor BIG BUCK$ for this! The toenail thing was just to cure a couple nasty old hangnails, and 0087613-XD is getting an up-close-and-personal experience with some animals and reptiles others will rarely see, much less get to touch. Just think, next we're going to do some free dental work to clean out some of that nasty old tooth decay we think is there! "Chambers of horror," indeed. This is a spa which is providing a complete makeover for free! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:45 PM Just bribed a guard to get this last post out (made him and honorary FFP plus lots of cash - I think it was the cash wot done the trick). I'm being held by a treasonous bunch headed by Rapaire. And to think I gave him such an important position in my new democratic republic. Fellow posters, comrades, nay, friends, you don't seem to understand; my seizure of power wasn't for my benefit but for yours and to secure the future of the thread. Don't let me rot in one of Rapair's chambers of horror. And the nasty rumour that I tipped off the aliens as to Shane's whereabouts has been greatly exaggerated. I may have pointed him out using Google Earth but that was only to show them the proud image of my beloved leader. Got to go, some brute's coming my way with a cat o' nine tails. Infamy, infamy, you've all got it infamy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:40 PM Don, I hate to through cold water on your joy, but are you sure that it's not some weird alien THING made up to look like and act like "Shane"? Make it prove it's "Shane" some way, but remember that the aliens would have copied "Shane's" genetic makeup and taken all of his memories and put then into this THING. Ask yourself this: "Would my little brother EVER be seen, even by me, wearing a silver bodysuit?? Like a cheap-o Elvis impersonator?" And I'll bet you you'll answer yourself with, "NOT NEVER! Not my l'il brother!" Tie this alien up good and tight and call the cops. They got them X-file squads to handle this stuff. This could be a brain-sucking lamprey man from Pohasset-6 or something who's disguised as "Shane". Don't take a chance, man! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:01 PM IWTATBM is still under arrest, and will be held in undisclosed locations until we |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Big Brother Don Date: 10 Jun 07 - 01:02 PM OH MY FlIP!!! It is flippin' sellabration time! The little brother has been returned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It happened last night, eh? I heard a knock at the door around 2 AM. I opened it.....and there was the little brother! He was dressed in some kinda weird silver body suit but it was deffinitly him, eh? We both busted inta tears. He said he hadda have a beer bad. He was flippin' desparate. So I got some beers and we sat down and got flippin' wasted till about sunrise and he told me the hole flippin' story. Un-flippin-beleevable! He has been acrost the flippin' galaxay, man. No shit. I am thinkin' we can probally sell the silver suit fer a bundle on EBay. I gotta look into it. Then we right a flippin' book about the aleyen adduction and make a million flippin' dollars. Shane is hung over like a tart and I am not in such good shape neether, but I hadda let you alls know that he is back. Now I am gonna get a rest. The little brother will tell youse all about it in awhile when he is back on his feet, eh? Flippin' A. See ya later. - Don McBride |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 10 Jun 07 - 10:43 AM I really doubt that there's much more to be learned from "Shane." You might want to keep his DNA pattern as a warning, however. IWTATBM, you're under arrest. Please come quietly to Secret Police Headquarters and we will keep you imprisoned in our best facility, the one without the rats and roaches (as we like to say, "A little R&R is good for you!"). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 10 Jun 07 - 07:44 AM He'll have to find a new thread, this one's taken. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey Date: 09 Jun 07 - 11:51 PM Artixes here. We are now returning the Shane. This is after extensive testing and retesting of his intelligence by exposing him to conditions on our home planets and taking him around to various interesting places to see if we could broaden his horizons. I am sorry to say that they still seem to be exceedingly narrow! He has been agitating for beer, "smokes", "pizza" and other valueless things of that sort. He is a helpless slave of his corporeal appetites! It's sad. One has to wonder what sort of upbringing such a creature would have had to end up this way. The Shane was introduced to some of the greatest minds among our people in order to retest the mind-meld process that had gone so awry with Meklor. The results were almost catastrophic. A panel of our greatest scientists and philosophers were reduced to babbling, drooling incoherence by the Shane, who drained from them virtually all their intelligence while gaining apparently nothing for himself in the process. If not for the reflugation procedure, it would have been a disaster of the first magnitude. We have decided that the Shane is too dangerous, therefore we are returning him posthaste to his own environs. He has requested to be sent either to Blind River or Huntsville. Huntsville appears to be a smallish settlement, whereas Blind River is what could best be described as "a flyspeck in the middle of nowhere". Decisions, decisions. Normally we would erase the Earthling's memories of his experiences with us, both for his protection and for ours. In this case, however, we have come to the conclusion that the Shane will not be a danger, simply because no matter what he says no one will believe him. He has zero credibility. That is my opinion. He told us, for instance, that the three most valuable things on Earth were: 1. beer 2. marijuana 3. "babes" This has turned out to be very inaccurate information. Beer is a common and noxious drink that causes intoxication. Marijuana is a common plant that causes intoxication. Both are of little or no value. As for "babes"...they turned out to be simply younger female humans of good childbearing age. What a disappointment! Does the word "boring" come to mind? It makes me feel quite embarrassed that we wasted so much time over something so completely unimportant and mundane as this primitive creature's need to engage in bizarre mating rituals. We did, in fact, secure several of these "babes" and introduced them to the Shane in hopes that they would engage in mating activities which would assist us in better understanding Earthlings. They all refused pointblank to mate with the Shane! This, after he had assured us that he was irresistible to Earth females. What a dreadful liar. Well, it's been an interesting episode, although a frustrating one. We shall continue to monitor the Shane from a distance, just in case we missed something. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 09 Jun 07 - 10:44 PM I really wouldn't mind the H&H .700 Nitro Express Double Rifle, though. They're custom built and cost about US $200,000.00. Cartridges are about US $100.00 each; please include a couple of cases with the gun. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 09 Jun 07 - 08:01 PM Head of the Secret Police, or off to the firing squad witcha. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 09 Jun 07 - 06:07 PM An attempted coup eh - and so soon. Does it have to be weapons, or will a a high ranking position in the new regime do the trick? - I'm on the look out for a good deputy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 09 Jun 07 - 02:46 PM Like heck you will! You have insulted "Shane" and for that my friends, few though they are, will call upon you. You may choose the weapons, although I suggest .700 Holland and Holland Nitro Express Double Rifles at several hundred miles. Two fires. You supply the guns and ammo. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 08 Jun 07 - 03:58 PM I doubt very much that we'll ever see Shane again and therefore claim thread leadership, based on being the first to claim the prize. My first act as leader will be to dedicate my 2000th post to him in an act of remembrance. The king is gone; long live the king (me). I shall be a benevolent dictator and take the thread forward in leaps and bounds. Let the good times roll. .... Shane who? IWTATBM TLFFP |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 08 Jun 07 - 03:25 PM In your dreams! 2000 is mine, baby. Where the H*ll is Shane? Did the aliens decide to keep him? The beer must have really rotted their brains. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 08 Jun 07 - 03:22 PM 2000!!!!!!!! Just practising |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 07 Jun 07 - 05:06 PM 1961 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 07 Jun 07 - 05:05 PM a pinwheel number. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 07 Jun 07 - 05:04 PM we are almost up to |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 07 Jun 07 - 05:04 PM So I got to thinking |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 07 Jun 07 - 03:43 PM And if the coat of the horse were a particular type it would be The Bridal Bridle on the brindle horse of The Bride of The McBride of McBride. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 07 Jun 07 - 03:23 PM And the woman he marries would be The Bride of The McBride of McBride. Her horse would wear the The Bridal Bridle of The Bride of The McBride of McBride. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 07 Jun 07 - 12:58 PM Leader of the Laundromat, maybe? That would seem to involve the washing of clothing, though, so maybe not. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 07 Jun 07 - 12:38 PM Donal McBride...The McBride of McBride. Chief of Clan McBride. Leader of the Pack. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 07 Jun 07 - 09:17 AM Don, this is just a suggestion, but you know maybe you'd better start thinking about, well, continuing the family? It looks like you'll be the only one left (unless Shanetta starts breeding), but "Shane" is gone and/or gonna freeze his jewels off this Winter in the Yukon. It's up to you now, man. The McBride name will pass away unless you marry and have kids to carry it on, preferably in that order. You, Don, are now the Pride of McBride. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 06 Jun 07 - 09:20 PM As a good bad example? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Big Brother Don Date: 06 Jun 07 - 07:30 PM This is me, eh? Don. I have been, like, cryin'. I ain't ashamed to admit it. The little brother has been gone fer a whole month! He, like, vanished sometime around May 10th as close as I can figger it, somewheres sought of Sudbury, and he ain't been seen hide ner hare of since. This is not flippin' good! I finally seen Officer Jennifer Dana yestterday. They are takin' this thing seriously! She won't say much except that there was some "unusual sightings" in that area. She is keepin' mum about whatever they know about it, but I can tell she is takin' it serious, eh? This is real serious. The little brother may be gone fer good. It is hard to beleeve this. I wake up each mornin' and I'm thinkin' it was just a bad dreeam but he is REALLY gone! What if they took him for his brain? His brain might be sittin' in a jar right now! Holy flip. Or they might of took him so's they can force him to breed with weird-lookin' hairless alyen females that don't have no hair! That would be a fate worse than flippin' death! On the other hand, at least he would be gettin' some fer a change... Well, I am really broke up about it. Who is gonna steal my beer and smokes now? Who is gonna eat up half of my paycheck every month? Who is gonna lissen to Ozzy records and get drunk with me on the weekend? What is gonna happen to the fambly? I did not get to make my proposishion to Jennifer cos I was too upset about the little brother. Anyways, I don't think she woulda gone for it. She is one hard woman, that one. She is married to her flippin' job. Good lookin' though... Man, I am really flipped up over this. I can't flippin' beleeve them alyens took a McBride. I just can't flippin' beleeve it. What the flip good is it livin' in a sosiety where no one can do flip-all about somethin' like this and the police and the military flipheads are totally flippin' useless? Why did the the aleyens take my little brother? Why!??? - Don McBride |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 06 Jun 07 - 03:41 PM I see now how can land such babes as those in your previous offering. Hot-cha-cha. (Isn't that the shoe bomber?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 06 Jun 07 - 03:04 PM And I done think I found a picher of "Shane" his own self when he was all dressed up purty for his funeral, which he missed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 05 Jun 07 - 08:01 PM I dunno about "Shane" but I found a picture of a couple of his girl friends. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 05 Jun 07 - 01:51 PM Big news! I think I just had a Shane sighting - in his Silver Suit! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 05 Jun 07 - 09:19 AM Not at all, IWTATBM, I just take a few days off from time to time. I was going to go get it today if nobody else had but you saved me the trouble. |
