 sj |
||
|
||
BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
|
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 16 Jul 07 - 10:03 PM I knew someone from Iowa once. It was awful. Right there in West Burlington. Zombie space aliens, all of them. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 16 Jul 07 - 03:39 PM Be suspicious, very suspicious. KB may yet be an earthling and being forced to post under duress. I've had experience of this, ahem. You have to look for the clues. You don't fool me you Greys, leave KB alone. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:21 PM Ah, Artixes, I see that you have retrieved the ... what? What frequency is this on? I'm afraid we may have been discovered. Go to full recovery mode, out. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 16 Jul 07 - 09:15 AM Mayhap this one.... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 16 Jul 07 - 07:08 AM It was a genuine mistake Rapaire, however some good came of it as now we know how Rapaire is pronounced. Personally I'd always thought it was pronounced like repair but with an 'a' sound. I'll have to get to know you all over again. No wonder your staff at The Spa (I still shudder at that name - with delight) gave me funny looks and said 'not had enough yet eh?' when I shouted 'Rapaire'. I wonder what solar system KB is looking out on today…. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 15 Jul 07 - 08:27 PM For whatever it's worth, the name is pronounced "Rap-a-ree" -- it's an Irish Gaelic form of the word "Rapparee." So the "e" on the end of the name is important. If it's not there I might be confused with someone who writes tunes for (shudder) rap music. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 15 Jul 07 - 06:16 PM Your awards don't frighten me. I seek but The Truth. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 15 Jul 07 - 03:12 PM KB an alien? That never occurred to me. Yes, yes, could be. ….Hmm, you're not just sowing this seed to stake a claim for last year's Poster of the Year award are you Rapair, coming second and all that? I don't know what to think I'm sure. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:49 PM South south? Or...galactic south? Could KB be...one of them?? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:44 PM I starting to think that KB is somehow involved in the whole alien abduction thing linked to The Greys. If you examine the post a little closer it seems to be written in code. Can anyone extract the true meaning from it? "I am leaving for points south in a couple of days and will have little, if any, opportunity to post while away. I will be gone for two weeks. Carry on." It's so obvious now, poor KB had no choice but to post this and may never return. I will dedicate my Poster of the Year 2007 award in your memory KB. Sniff |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 12 Jul 07 - 06:56 PM Drugs...probably had an immunity built up. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Ike Date: 11 Jul 07 - 09:33 PM This here's Ike Tomson, the chicken farmer from Mayo, YT agin. That there boy, Shame, is still in the hospital up here. He didn't take to the chickenshit too good. They got him in the Loony Bin Ward becuz ever so often he busts out and says, "YAAAAAAAAAA!!! I CAN'T STOP!!!" like he's sliding into the chickenshit. The docs say he keeps runnin' it over and over in his mind like a loop of film or somethig. They tried shooting him full of drugs but that didn't work. Next they're gonna try electrik shocks. The head head doc says that after that he might have to be shipped South to one of them big hospitals for crazy folks. The head head doc told me that years back they'da just done a lobotomy (I got him to write that word down cuz it's a good one) on him if the electrik shocks did't work but that's again the law nowdays and besides the doc isn't sure there's much brain the lobotomise. We all feel real bad about this and the folks even chipped in to buy me a new scoop shovel to replace the one Shame lost for me in the chickenshit tank. We all feel that he was sort of okay for being as ugly as he is. Your friend, Ike Tomson Chicken Farmer Mayo, YT |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 11 Jul 07 - 05:43 PM And where will that leave poor Don? Poor Jenny, mourning for her late lost loser? How will Tim Horton's stay in business? What of Shane of the Arctic, recovering (one supposes) from his spa bath in chicken...manure? And is the one that has been Taken the real Shane McBride? So many questions, so few answers. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Jul 07 - 04:38 PM Wow. Heavy, man. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 11 Jul 07 - 04:34 PM I didn't think that Shane had that much luck with babes truth be told, but after all those beers perhaps Grey ladies might be appealing and perhaps with his celebrity status, available. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Jul 07 - 03:58 PM (chuckle) "Unlimited beer" Yeah, if they did that, I think he might never come back. But what about "babes"? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 11 Jul 07 - 03:19 PM I doubt this time that we'll ever see Shane again. He'll be treated as a hero in The Greys world and they'll manufacture unlimited beer for him. In the event of this being the case, you ought to know that I have no intention of assuming control over this thread and dominating you all. My dictatorship days are well and truly in the past now. I wonder if The Greys will remember my planet. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 09 Jul 07 - 12:34 PM And over the hill chugs a borrowed yellow Yugo. Seeing the traffic jam at the intersection, Don McBride says quietly to himself, "Holy flippin' flip. I think it's a lynch mob." |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 09 Jul 07 - 09:31 AM Behind Maybelle and Clem an old white Ford pickup arrives, followed by a string of other disreputable vehicles. All neighbors, all of whom heard the sirens, some of whom saw Clem's Bonneville take a hit, and a few of whom saw "Shane" ascended. "Clem!" shouts Willie. "What on earth is goin' on?" "Maybelle," says Louise quietly, "Tell me dear, has Clem been, you know, sipping again?" The junction of Seldom Seen Road is quickly jammed with vehicles, and the two officers stare, trying to figure out how to get the mess straightened out. Suddenly a bearded man wearing Carhart overalls jumps to the hood of his pickup. "Friends and neighbours! We have just seen the Ascencion and The Final Days are upon us! None would have guessed that "Shane" McBride would be the first Chosen, but the Lord moves in mysterious ways His wonders to perform! Let us build four tents here, one for Moses, one for Ezekiel, one for Jesus, and one for Shane!" "Why don't we put up one and they can share it?" asks someone. "Good idea!" exclaims the bearded man. "I happen to have a red nylon pup tent in the truck!" Officer Crayne turns to Officer Dana and says, "We can't permit that. That's Crown land." To which the veteran replies, "You stop 'em. That's Man-Mountain McGraw with the tent. He once threw a pickup truck through the window of the Rusty Dog when they wouldn't serve him another beer." Crayne blanches at this news and takes a step back. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 08 Jul 07 - 04:33 PM Ha! I am a Child of the Lens and you ain't. So there, Smarty-Pants! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 08 Jul 07 - 08:27 AM I would just like to remind everyone that it was me that first introduced Shane to The Greys. If he saves their world and they would like to reward me in some small way, I'd like them to know that I would not be offended. A planet perhaps? My own planet. Planet IWTATBM. Just what I've always wanted. Come on Shane, save The Greys. I know you can do it. Hmm. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Jul 07 - 09:17 PM Shane runs frantically to the north. He hopes to make it to Kissing Rock. There are numerous trails into the bush near Kissing Rock, and Shane knows all of them. A perfect place to evade detection. He never knew there were so many blackberry bushes near Seldom Seen Road, and he is getting acquainted with most of them, it seems. Not far behind him sprints Officer Dana, with the embarrassed Officer Crayne trying hard to keep up. He wants badly to make up for his earlier panic and show that he has what it takes. "My God, that woman can run!" Shane bursts into a clearing. Aha! Familiar ground. This is the place where he once attempted to seduce Aileen, the waitress from Spanish with the gigantic... Shane's pleasant memories of Aileen are interrupted by the intrusion of a pulsating, blinding light, accompanied by a low humming reverberation... "Oh no!" bellows Shane. "Not AGAIN!!!" He struggles futilely as he begins to ascend up the beam of light, up, up, toward the gleaming body of what can only be... "I don't flippin' beelieve this!!! No! Artixes, you FLIPhead! I already been through this! I don't have nothin' you flippers..." The two police officers emerge into the clearing just in time to see Shane's legs and his grundgy work boots disappear into a glowing portal in the underside of a gleaming, hovering craft. "Oh...my...God!" breathes Officer Dana. "So, it's true..." "What the hell IS that thing?" croaks Officer Crayne. He points his pistol feebly in the general direction of the orb, as the portal vanishes. The orb starts to pulsate with a powerful red light, and the humming deepens. "I wouldn't shoot at it, Dennis," cautions Officer Dana. "Let's not antagonize them. We aren't equipped to deal with this. Let's just back up...slowly..." The orb is rising gently as Dana and Crayne step back gingerly back into the bushes that skirt the clearing. The alien lights cycle from red to blue to green to yellow, painting a widening circle of gorgeously shifting colors on the land below. "What do we do?" whispers Crayne. "You get back to the cruiser. Radio for backup. Tell them to inform the military at once. To them to call NORAD. I'll stay and see what they do next. Be quick." "Okay!" Crayne trots off, glancing back nervously over his shoulder. "Shane, you crazy kid, what have you got yourself into?" murmurs Jennifer Dana. "What could they possibly want with someone like you?" *********** THRUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM....CLICK! The lights go out. Silence. A softer light comes on. Shane finds himself alone in a featureless room with smooth, curving walls. "Flip me..." "SSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssssss" A wide portal opens, revealing a room filled with Shane's old buddies, the Greys. He could swear they are smiling, although it's hard to tell with Greys... "Joy of joys! The Shane is back. And he has not changed one iota. Three chirps for our friend, the Shane!" The Greys deliver a hearty chorus of chirps, waving their slender hands in the air. This is considered a very friendly greeting among Greys, reserved only for trusted comrades and people of importance. "Artixes! You bug-eyed flipper! What do you flippin' think yer doin'? I thought we were, like, all finished with the flippin' exchange student bit or whatever the flip it is..." "Ah, Shane, so did we," replies Artixes. "We thought you were like, how you say it, 'yesterday's stale pizza'? You see, Shane, I have been practicing the local vernacular! Yes! But we live in strange and ever changing times. A critical situation has arisen that requires your expertise and yours alone. We have journeyed at speeds you cannot comprehend across distances you cannot fathom, homing in on your unique frequencies, because we have a task that only you can manage. We need you, Shane." Shane shuffles his feet. He's not used to being needed. "Flip. Really??? Gosh. Ummm...well...what do you, like, need me for?" "All in good time, my friend, all in good time....we are about to depart for the Berklasian quadrant and all will soon be revealed. Come on up to the stardeck. You shouldn't miss this." ********* Officer Dana watches in fascination as the spacecraft's lights dim and it slowly acends. Suddenly, in the merest blink of an eye, it is gone, the barest suggestion registering on her eyes of an impossibly rapid leap across the night sky, a flashing leap that vanishes somewhere at the edge of her vision, somewhere beyond Earthly knowing. She makes her way back to the cruiser. Crayne is calling everyone he can think of, but when they arrive they will find nothing there to investigate, nothing except Don's battered pickup truck. Officer Crayne: "So what do we do now?" Officer Dana: "We call a tow truck. Get that pickup in tow. And let's see if you and I can get this cruiser back on the road. We write out a full report. Then we go to Blind River and interview Don McBride. Maybe he knows something." Nothing like a bit of standard routine when you're confronted with an insoluble situation. It's comforting, and it keeps you on top of your game. ************** "I knew it!" declares Clem with an ecstatic glow lighting up his face. "The Final Days are upon us! Glory be! Like Ezekial I have seen the wheel glowin' in the sky! The Elect will be lifted up clean out of this world of sin and sorrow and put down rejoicin' for all Eternity at the right hand of the Lord. Our inheritance is nigh!!! The Day of our Deliverance is at hand!!!" "Yes, Clem," agrees Maybelle, "I 'spect you're right, but why...why do you suppose the Lord took that crazy, disresponsible drunk driver first? Instead of us? Why would He do that?" Clem frowns. He mulls it over. "Maybelle," he intones sagely, "the Lord works in strange ways..." |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Peace Date: 07 Jul 07 - 06:13 PM Thank you, IWTATBM. I will treasure the moment. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 07 Jul 07 - 06:12 PM Congratulations Peace - may it bring you luck. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Peace Date: 07 Jul 07 - 06:06 PM I don't think anyone has actually claimed post 2071 in the history of Mudcat. I hereby do. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 07 Jul 07 - 05:32 PM I wish I'd told him to slow down instead of hurry now - I'ts all my fault. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Jul 07 - 01:42 PM Clem and Maybelle have been going out for the last 32 years on this day for a nice country drive in celebration of their wedding anniversary. It's their way of keeping the magic of their marriage alive through the long and difficult years. As members of the local Church of Jesus Christ of the Evangelizing Angels, Clem and Maybelle take their marriage vows seriously, and do everything they can to maintain the holiness of their bond. It so happens that Clem and Maybelle, like many other young courting couples, used to go out to Seldom Seen Road to be "alone" together, but unlike those godless types who are given to committing illicit acts in the back seats of cars, they always stayed in the front seat and simply held hands. On this evening Clem slows down as the sign of Seldom Seen Road comes into view. "Do you see that, Maybelle? There is the very road where you and I declared our love before the Lord on that day so long ago..." "Oh, yes, Clem," replies Maybelle, blushing to the roots of her blue-permed hair. "How could I ever forget that wonderful day? Oh, Clem, why don't we go and look at the very spot where you held my hand and spoke those words I shall never forget?" "Why, that is a fine idea, Cupcake..." Clem begins to make the turn. He is halfway into it when he notices the sounds of rapidly approaching vehicles, and a siren...as over the hill roars the red pickup truck, fishtailing wildly, with the screaming police cruiser in hot pursuit. The sound of the siren blends with Maybelle's terrified shriek as Clem's fingers freeze white-knuckled on the wheel. "Oh SHIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!" screams Shane, violently wrenching his wheel to the left. Don's pickup does a screeching slide across the road, just barely clips Clem's Bonneville a glancing blow on the left front fender and sends it spinning off the other way, into the path of the oncoming cruiser. "Look out!" yells Officer Dana. Officer Crayne turns white and hit the brakes so hard that he damn near drives the pedal through the floor. The cruiser misses the spinning Bonneville by a hairsbreadth, does several screeching donuts down the road and ends up in the ditch with its nose pointing due south and its tires smoking........as Don's pickup meantime sails backward clean through a barbed wire fence and a stand of cedar saplings and into the midst of a blackberry patch. The engine coughs and dies. Shane tries desperately to restart it, but without success. He has come to the end of the line. It is definitely time to abandon ship. He tumbles out of the truck and fights his way frantically through a mass of blackberry bushes... Officer Dana leaps out of the stranded cruiser and quickly checks out Clem and Maybelle. They are shaken up, but unharmed. She rushes back to the cruiser. Officer Crayne is still hanging on to the wheel, hyperventilating. "Snap out of it!" she yells, shaking him by his shoulders. "He's getting away!" Crayne goggles at her wordlessly and gets out of the car. "Follow me!" she snaps, unholstering her sidearm. Shane, swinging his arms like a demented circus clown on a rampage, plunges northward through the blackberries. "This is not flippin' goin' like I planned it," he complains. "Ouch! Flip me! Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh, Jeez! Flip me!" Definitely not a good day for unrequited love in the wilds of North Ontario. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 07 Jul 07 - 05:29 AM Hurry Shane, hurry! I think it's a right turn you need Clem and Maybelle - fingers crossed. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 06 Jul 07 - 10:03 PM Meanwhile, Clem and Maybelle have reached the junction of Seldom Seen Road and are discussing which way to turn.... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:43 PM "That truck looks really familiar to me," says Officer Dana. "Can you make out the plate?" "It's really dirty, but...it looks like FLP-U-2 to me," says Officer Crayne. "A vanity plate. That ring a bell?" "Hell, yes," replies Officer Dana. "I knew it! That heap belongs to Don McBride from Blind River. He's the second biggest loser in this entire region, and I have a feeling I know who is behind the wheel, although I didn't get much of a look at him..." "Don McBride?" inquires Crayne. Officer Crayne has always prided himself on his powers of logic and deduction. "No," answers Officer Dana, frowning. "Don is bald. That guy wasn't bald. He had a full head of long, messy hair. That guy has got to be Don's younger brother, Shane." "Omigod," blurts Crayne. "THE Shane McBride? The one who used to write the Blind Drunk in Bind River column for the papers? The one who's been arrested 350 times for 840 different violations? The one who tried to bribe the judge by offering him a free ounce?" "Bingo. I'd bet a month's salary it was him...although I suppose it could have been one of their loser friends..." "Well, we'll know soon enough. He can't get away. No chance. I'm closing in on him." Up ahead a few car lengths Shane looks back desperately. "They're gainin' on me! Omigod!" He prays to the gods of the demolition derby to give the tired old engine in Don's pickup one more boost...enough to make it to Seldom Seen Road, his favorite route of escape..."Nobody can catch me if I get to Seldom Seen Road! Nobody!" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:15 PM Somewhere a good way east of Blind River a beat-up old red pickup truck careens down the road, narrowly avoiding collision with an oncoming 18-wheeler... "HEY! Watch it, ya fliphead!" yells the disheveled hoser at the wheel of the pickup truck. He has an open beer in his right hand, and several empties are rolling around on the floor. The 16-wheeler comes within a hair of losing control as the cursing driver wrestles with the wheel, and gapes at the hoser's pickup truck which is rapidly vanishing in the distance. The enraged trucker gets on his CB right away and reports a drunk driver going east... A few miles away Officer Dennis Crayne and Officer Jennifer Dana are cruising along. Officer Crayne is a new recruit, and Officer Dana, reassigned to the Sudbury west area, is showing him around and acquainting him with what he may expect to run into. They receive a report regarding the hoser in the eastbound pickup. "Let's go," says Officer Dana. "Awright!" says Officer Crayne. "Can I put the siren on?" "Not yet," says Officer Dana. "Wait till we have visual contact." "Stupid flippin' truckers," grumbles Shane. "They think they own the whole flippin' road! That fliphead could've kilt me!" He realizes that he is down to nothing but fumes on the last beer, and tosses the bottle out the window. It is hard to drive if you get too many empties rolling around by yer feet, eh? A couple more miles whiz by. Shane has almost forgotten about the truck when he comes over the crest of a hill and sees.... "COPS!!!" Yup. It's officers Dana and Crayne. Their lights and siren go on as Shane yells, "FLIP ME!!!" He floors it, and flashes by the cruiser as Officer Crayne's mouth drops open. In the split second that Shane passes the cruiser he recognizes the face in the passenger seat beside Officer Crayne...the beautiful face that has haunted him for years...cool blue eyes, sculptured cheekbones, perfect jawline... "HOLY SHIT!" screams Shane in horror..."That was Officer Dana! I am flipped if she finds out it was me behind the wheel! Flipped like yesterday's roadkill! Deader than a fippin' skunk on a hot griddle! She CAN'T find out it was me! Omigod! Omigod! Go, your flippin' truck! Go!" The pursuit begins... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:47 PM You're a free person, unless it happens again. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 06 Jul 07 - 04:51 PM Can't stay long as I'm not sure if I'm a free person or a lucky escapee. With Shane having gone I guess he won't want his beers now so I will instead drink them in his honour and as a way of apologising for aliengate. Cheers Shane. Hope we're all square now. Hic |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:01 AM He is off to meet Officer Dana, and I'll bet he does. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Big Brother Don Date: 05 Jul 07 - 09:03 PM Holy flippin' HELL! You done it now, Rapaire. You started a flippin' shitstorm here! The little brother took off like a flippin' bat outta hell in MY TRUCK!!!!! The fliphead was goin' east. I figger he must be headin' for Huntsville. YOu done this, Rapaire. You will be to blame if I find my flippin' truck rapt around a goddam tree or somethin'! The idiot does not even have no license. Which figgers. No one would be dumb enuff to give him one, eh? He can drive....sort of...but he can't flippin' be trusted to drive in any way that would, like, not be attractin' attenshun...and I mean the wrong SORT of attenshun. I mean the kind of attenshun that comes with a gun and a badge. Jeezus flip! Now I gotta see if I can borrow another vehicle so's I can follow up and maybe catch him. You otta keep yer big mouth shut, Rapaire! I am outta here! - Don p.s. He took all the goddam beer too! I guess he figgered he might need emergancy rashoins on the road. He is in big trouble when I find him. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 05 Jul 07 - 05:31 PM I can flippin' do anything when I put my mind to it... Words, words, words. Ho-hum. Yammer, yammer, yammer. Thought for a while there, "Shane," that you really HAD become a man of deeds instead of hot air. Well, you've always got a future in politics, sittin' in Ottawa. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 05 Jul 07 - 04:31 PM Yeah????? I wisht you was here to say that to my FACE, you flippin' corkpuller! We will see! I can flippin' do anything when I put my mind to it, see? Anything!!! Just WATCH ME! - Shane |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 05 Jul 07 - 04:15 PM No. If you were looser you'd fall apart. I'm saying that you don't have the flippin' GUTS to go to Jennifer Dana and "declare yourself." And that makes you a You could change, but you probably don't have the flippin' guts to. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 05 Jul 07 - 03:53 PM I hate you, man. You SUCK!!! You are the number one flippin' bolthole of all histry. Are you sayin' I'm a looser??? Is that what your sayin'? Well? Are you? - Shane |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 05 Jul 07 - 03:47 PM So, Don -- what size food you buying "Shane" these days? And is it true that he's got a new job that fits him like a glove? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 05 Jul 07 - 01:52 PM Well, Don, you know how it is. Some got it and some ain't. I think he coulda had Officer Dana in his arms, but, well, like I said |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST,Big Brother Don Date: 05 Jul 07 - 01:18 PM Oh man, you really flippin' nailed the little brother that time, Rapaire! HOOO-WEEE! He is fit to be flippin' tied! He is so mad at you that he is just flippin' beside himself. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ya know why? You got it dead flippin' right. The boy chickened out. He could've had them aleyeins drop him right off in Huntsville and took the bull by the horns, but he did not. He blew it. Good flippin' thing too, cos that cold-hearted bitch Jennifer Dana woulda turned him down for sure, eh? And I hate to think what might happen then. No, it is better this way. I would rather have a loudmouthed flippin' looser for a little brother than be called to identify his flippin' dead corpse when they find him hangin' from the overpass outside Huntsville! You bet. Things are gettin' back to abnormle around here, and that's okay with me. He needs to just forget about Officer flippin' Dana and get on with his main job which is drivin' everybody around here nuts and givin' 'em somethin' to laff up there sleeves at when he ain't lookin'. He is a McBride, man! You gotta let a McBride BE a McBride. Never forget that. Besides, I need him around. He makes me look pretty good, eh? I would hate to have to carry the legassy of the family pride all alone, know what I'm sayin'? - Don McBride |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 05 Jul 07 - 09:53 AM I set the beacon that summoned Them, because I wanted to test "Shane" and see if he had the fortitude and guts to go through with his resolution of ask for the hand (and other parts) of Jennifer Dana. Would he complete the task he set for himself, even through the greatest difficulties? Was he, in other words, a real man? So far, "Shane" has failed. I can only offer him the words of Robert Browning: He either fears his fate too much Or his desserts are small, Who does not put it to the touch To gain or lose it all. So far ----------------------- |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 04 Jul 07 - 11:22 PM A good Canadian beer...like this one? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: GUEST, Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 04 Jul 07 - 06:09 PM Flip me! So it was flippin' YOU who got me flippin' adducted, eh, IWTATBM??? Geezus flip! You sure flippin' cawsed a lot of flippin' trouble, eh? It is a good thing that I am so smart, eh? I outsmarted them aleyen flipheads totally, man. I left 'em at a flippin loss fer words, lemme tell ya. I took on there greatest minds and flippin' redooced 'em to speechlessnes! They was droolin' on the floor, man, with there flippin' mouths hangin' open. It is no secret that I have majer talents and am a nacheral leader of men. this flippin' thread is all the proof of that which anyone could need. Don't feel like you have to, like, leave forever on account of what you done, IWTABTM. I am the forgiving kind, eh? If you will just send me a coupla 2-4's then all will be fergiven. Make sure it is Canadian beer. - Shane |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jul 07 - 05:22 PM Holy shit! So it was you who got the aliens to kidnap Shane? What have you wrought??? Think of what this could mean to future intergalactic species relations... If they think that Shane is our "leader", what will they think about the rest of us? They might decide to euthanize the entire friggin' planet as an act of mercy!!! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: IWTATBM Date: 04 Jul 07 - 05:04 PM I return to you now reformed, deformed and more humble than I have ever returned humbly before. I am not sure if I have escaped again from The Spa or have been released unceremoniously. Either way the door was open, no one was around and I limped out. Kind Rapaire's staff have reshaped me into a more worthwhile human being and any pain was meant for my greater good. In fact if it hadn't have been for Rapair I might have become a despot. Here is my confession. It was a clear night in May and I was walking around Ambridge village green when I noticed a strange blue light over Lower Loxley. On approaching the source of the light I found myself being abducted by aliens who instructed me to identify my leader forthwith and not a moment later. Well the temptation was just too much. Not specifying which leader they wanted, I chose, for selfish reasons, my thread leader Shane. In a flash I saw in his departure a way of furthering my own thread ambitions. He was easy to point out on Google Earth for obvious reasons and despite what the aliens might have said they knew who they wanted and they knew where to find him. Of no further use to the aliens (I was a bit offended by this) they set me down in the village of Darrington, which is a whole lot scarier than aliens I don't mind telling you. My imposed leadership started well and I encountered little opposition. Unfortunately the first opposition I did encounter was enough and I was overthrown and taken for correction and improvement by Rapair's staff. I will speak no further of this. Rest assured fellow posters I hold no further ambitions relating to this thread and am now contented with my lot. I hope you will find it in your hearts to forgive me. Your old friend IWTATBM FFP |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 28 Jun 07 - 03:28 PM Don't we always? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: KB in Iowa Date: 28 Jun 07 - 12:31 PM I am leaving for points south in a couple of days and will have little, if any, opportunity to post while away. I will be gone for two weeks. Carry on. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts? From: Rapparee Date: 25 Jun 07 - 12:00 PM Probably. The local sheep best watch out. |
