BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!

Subject: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:28 PM

There always seem to be recipe threads going - bread, chili, cornbread etc. - but some of us never get to post to them because our cooking skills are on a par with Mike Tyson's social skills.   

Wanna see my recipe for chili? "Open can, pour into bowl, microwave for 3 minutes." I can't put that on a recipe thread. But I can put it on this thread!

Anyway, the title of the thread is somewhat misleading. You may post a recipe for toast if you really wanna, but it's not limited to toast by any means. Other stuff any dope can make will work just as well.   We need recipes for boiled eggs, bologna sandwiches, Cheez-Whiz on a Ritz, Vienna sausage... The list is endless. No recipe is too mundane.

Non-cookers, this is your thread. Make the most of it!


Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:32 PM

Hi. I'm Mary, and I'M A NONCOOKER!

Boiled egg: Boil it ten minutes.

Spaghetti sauce: Buy a good commercial brand, and throw in some fresh mushrooms and red wine.

Barbeque sauce: use Kraft Barbeque Sauce.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: GUEST,Cook the Books.
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:37 PM

Open pack of instant mash.

Make as per instructions, i.e add boiling water and bash around a bit with a spoon/fork/coathanger.

Open tin of tuna.

Add second ingredient to first.Bash around as before.

Eat.

If you are having a Jamie Oliver moment, add tin of sweetcorn.(open it first).

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: greg stephens
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:42 PM

Egg noodles: put them in hot water for 5 mins. Drain. Stir in tin of tuna. Eat.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Jeri
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:51 PM

When I was a teenager: open a can of Campbell's chicken & rice soup. Skim off fat. Eat soup with a spoon. No cooking, no washing up (except the spoon) and no time wasted heating it.

Boil pasta in salted water until it doesn't crunch. Drain, and stir in Cheeze Whiz. (For anyone who's unfamiliar with this, it's a cheese-like food-like product in a jar.)

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Helen
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:53 PM

My favourite simple breakfast item is what our family used to call Toad in the Hole. Butter a slice of bread on both sides. Carefully cut a square about 1 + 1/2 inches in centre of bread slice, i.e. making a square hole in the centre of the slice. Keep the cut-out square. You'll need that to mop up the plate when you have finished the egg.

Heat a frying pan on medium heat - not too high - and add about a tablespoon of cooking oil - I use olive oil - or butter. Wait a couple of minutes for the pan to heat up a bit. Get an egg and put it handy because the next bit is about timing, to some extent.

Place the slice and the small square of bread into the pan, and quickly break the egg into the hole in the bread. Let it cook for a few minutes and check if it is done enough on that side by gently lifting a corner of the bread up to see if it is browning slightly. If so, use an egg flip to turn it over, as well as the small square. Wait another minute or so, check the underside, and lift it out when the egg is soft or hard enough to your liking.

If the egg sticks a bit just make sure that next time you put the bread slice in a part of the pan with a good amount of oil or butter, or if you have to, put a little bit more oil/butter in the centre of the hole before breaking the egg in.

I put cranberry sauce on it but any sauce is good.

This goes really well with bacon, or fried tomatoes. I don't like fried eggs as much when they are fried on their own without the bread.

Helen

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Sorcha
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:54 PM

LOL! I'm a Cook...this is funny! Put bread in toaster, wait til it pops up, spread with something....eat.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Helen
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:57 PM

greg,

My hubby has 2 minute noodles with a dollop of Tandoori sauce in it. Yuk!

Helen

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:59 PM

Egg noodles might be okay in five minutes, but spaghetti takes a little longer. Those of us without teeth always have trouble with that "al dente" bit, so the "refrigerator test" is essential knowledge. Throw a string of spaghetti up against the refrigerator. If it sticks, the stuff is done. If you can't hit the refrigerator, turn the heat off and go finish your beer.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 07:09 PM

Well being a proponent of the Carbon Diet, I hold the lever down on the toaster until the smoke alarm goes off or fire shoots out the top. Then, a little butter and some cinimin sugar and, oh, delicious...

Black is beautiful, baby...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Gareth
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 07:13 PM

Bobert - Peasent!!!! - The only way to make toast is simple

Put Thick cutbread under grill.

Wait until smoke alarm goes off.

Extiguish bread, and scrape off black bits.

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: C-flat
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 07:26 PM

Helen, your "toad in the hole" was always called "Canadian egg" by my somewhat eccentric Mother. She had a way of cooking that made maximum use of the frying pan, and gave her creations titles like "Mexican hab-dab" which consisted of anything that was handy and could reasonably (or sometimes not) be fried.
Real "toad in the hole" (sausage in Yorkshire pudding) did not fall into the fry-able category and so it was many years later before I discovered it.
Another favourite was "Eggy bread", crack eggs into bowl, bash them about, dip slice of bread into mix and FRY. This was considered a wholesome meal in our house. When there was no bread or eggs left she was known to fry a mixture of flour and water, which she described as a "flap-jack". I can still taste the flour.
I do still occassionally make "Canadian egg" (my daughter loves it but I only make it when her Mother's out) in honour of my dear departed Mother, whose contribution to haute-cuisine is only rivalled by her services to the lard industry.
C-flat. (or C-fat)

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 07:29 PM

well, I 'can' cook some things when I'm in the mood but...often, I'm not.

me, I'm gooormay of them frozen burritos what can be microwaved in 2 minutes. It's best to get a GOOD brand..(Trader Joe's, if you have one of those stores around...and Patio if you're desparate.)

Lay burrito on paper plate, zap for 44 seconds...turn over, repeat...turn over again..till it's hot enuf for ya. (why 44 secs.? because it's EASIER...55 secs for some things..111 for others...see?)

lay on a dollop of some decent brand of ersatz Mexican condiment(I like green chili sauce a lot, or La Victoria 'Salsa Superior') and eat...

(Oh..most of the brands of sauces brag about how 'chunky' they are!..Blech! I like 'em uniform, and I give each new bottle 10 seconds in the blender!)

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: jimmyt
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 07:32 PM

whenever my wife is not feeling well I make her her favorite Take some cut onions and saute them for a little bit in butter or oil, as soon as they are cooked a bit put some tomato juice is skillet and heat up and serve as a soup.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Micca
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 07:41 PM

I've always liked the story of the kid who says " I know its time to get up when I hear Mom sharpening the toast"

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Burke
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 07:52 PM

Cheap, fast lunch:

Boil small pan of water.
While waiting get package of Ramen Noodles, crush with hand before opening.
Boil Ramen noodles according to package (@2 minutes)
Drain noodles
Add some butter, sprinkle with parmesan cheese, dried basil, chopped nuts.
Optional: Open seasoning package & sprinkle a little on.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 08:16 PM

LOL- a sorry bunch, indeed. (I'm one of you. Often.)

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Jeri
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 08:25 PM

I had a boss who used to eat hot dogs rolled up in tortillas. This was before 'wrap' sandwiches became popular.

C-Flat's 'eggy bread' is what we USians refer to as 'French toast'. Add butter and maple syrup.

If you like eggs 'over easy' but you think 'easy' isn't, turn the heat down and put a pan lid, just barely big enough to fit over them, over them.

Omelets are pretty much no-brainers. I like cheese omelets with good salsa slathered over them. You can make 'leftover' omelets too. If the folding part's too much of a pain, just mix everything in and make scrambled whatever. Don't try using portabella mushrooms, they turn everything brown. Tastes good, but it looks an unfortunate accident in your pans.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Peace
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 08:27 PM

1) Open tin of Chef Boyardee Ravioli. Eat.

2) Open tin of Heinz beans. Eat.

3) A good thing for people what don't Cordon Bleu cook is this.

Boil noodles. Boil some ground beef. Drain both noodles and beef. Add can Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup--for the challenged, add the contents of the can. Bit of milk. Mix well. Will do for two meals. Eat. If your food laws prevent you from mixing milk and meat, omit the milk. However, I think there may be some in the mushroom soup. So, leave that out too. If this seems too difficult for one reason or the other, see 1, 2), and 4).

4) Peanut butter, banana, jam and lettuce. Put between two slices of bread. Eat.

The key is the last word: eat.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Leadfingers
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 08:38 PM

Breakfast:- Pour sensible qantity of Muesli in bowl, fill bowl with milk. Switch on computer.By the time you can get into Mudcat the milk will have soaked nicely into the Muesli so you can eat it while reading Forum.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Jeri
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 08:44 PM

A little thread creep: In the military, before there were Meals, Ready to Eat (MREs), there were C-Rations in cans. There are official ways to heat up both types of meal, but I don't believe people ever used them. We just ate 'em cold or found creative ways of heating them up.

I used to work on generators. Big, jet-fuel fueled, jet engine driven suckers with the exhausts facing skyward. Folks used to open cans a bit, set them on the edge of the exhaust and pull 'em off with tongs when they got hot. (Usually in a matter of seconds.) I was out in the Mohave desert once, and the guys explained how to do this to a young officer. Unfortunately, they forgot the part about opening the can a bit. I had to help clean up the aftermath of the spaghetti-and-meatballs bomb.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 08:56 PM

Speaking of frying eggs- there's a combination of frying and poaching I like that I grew up with.   Break the egg(s) into the pan and add just a bit of water then cover. It steams into an tasty over-easy egg that doesn't stick to the pan.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 09:14 PM

Fried Bread: Heat pan. Butter bread and fry in pan. Eat. Not advised for eaters over thirty.

Fancy-schmancy Hors D'Oeurves: Use organic crunchy Peanut Butter. Spread some on a lot of Ritz crackers or Wheat Thins as suits. Serves self.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Mudlark
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 09:15 PM

Ebbie...an elegant offshot to the fry/poach approach to eggs. Oil pan, crack eggs into hot oil, let cook over med. heat for a min. or so, then add 1-3 tablesppons white wine, cover tightly and either cook for a minute or more over low heat, or turn off and leave 5 min. Take off lid, sprinkle well set eggs with copious amounts of parmesan cheese. The heat from eggs will melt cheese slightly, or for a fancy touch, brown cheese under broiler for a few seconds.

The broiler is also an excellent tool for those that aren't adept at flipping omelets (Yo!). Cook omelet mixture on top of stove over low/med. heat until throroughly set, then finish off under broiler...takes about another minute. And the omelet comes out puffy and browned (and round...it's much too pretty to fold over).

For no muss, boiled eggs are the best...boil for 5 minutes, then let set for 20. Peel and eat out of hand, squirting honey mustard on each bite--sort of deviled eggs a go go.

For really no muss snacking you cant beat microwave popcorn. I like the cheaper store brands better than expensive Orville and you can eat it right out of the bag.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:06 PM

White wine? Did Mudlark say, "White wine?" I beg your pardon, but we'll have none of that on this thread! Get on over to one of the real cooking threads if you're gonna use white wine! On this thread we use things like mayonnaise. And I don't mean that in the French sense. I mean it in the Kraft or Hellman's sense.

Speaking of which...

UNCLE BRUCE'S BOLOGNA SALAD

Buy a one-pound package of bologna from the "reduced for quick sale" bin at the grocery store. Prepare three hard-boiled eggs using Mary in Kentucky's recipe above. Dice bologna and eggs. (Dicing means cut it up into little pieces.) Throw 'em in a bowl and add enough mayonnaise to make everything stick together. Add any or all of the following depending on yer taste buds: prepared mustard, sweet pickle relish or salad cubes, dill pickle relish, chopped fresh onions, chopped olives, minced garlic. (Do NOT add white wine.) Spoon a glob of it onto bread or toast (see Sorcha's recipe above) and eat.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Micca
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:17 PM

Engineering workshop Technicians method for Toast
1 take slice of bread (preferably crappy shop slice Wonderloaf etc) in long heat proof tongs
2 start Oxy/acetylene torch
3 play torch on slice of bread each side until correct colour achieved( 1-3 seconds a side)
4 spread with spread of choice
5 eat

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:25 PM

I was shown 'Aussie AJ" cooking method once - the cans are slammed unopened into a rock or log twice, so that there are large dents, then thrown into the fire. When the first dent pops out, you have until just after the second one pops to get the can out of the fire, else RUN AWAY! Leave can sit for a few minutes, then open carefully to avoid steam burns...

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: JennieG
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:29 PM

And for dessert (known as 'puddin' when we were kids) there's always raisin toast.
Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:38 PM

Iced Tea

Fill quart-sized fruit jar half way with tap water. Put in microwave and nuke for several minutes. Add 2 Lipton tea bags. When you're tired of waiting, take the bags out and fill the jar up to the top with tap water.

If you want Southern Sweet Tea, add ~1 cup of sugar while still hot.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:45 PM

We used to open the c-rats cans a bit, prop 'em up on rocks or something, put a ball of C-4 explosive about as big as the end of your thumb under 'em, light the C-4 (it burns hotly, but doesn't explode without a blasting cap), and when it went out a few seconds later the c-rats were nicely hot.

Cook spaghetti for a while or until you think it's done. Drain off the water. Serve with Out Sauce or with tomato catsup (or ketchup). Or with a dollop of butter or margarine. If you want to be fancy sprinkle some dried parsley on it.

Desserts. Desserts haven't been mentioned. Bakeries were created so you wouldn't have to make desserts. But if you want to impress people, buy some of those round cream puffs. Put one of them on a paper doily on a small saucer. Dribble chocolate sauce on it. This is called a "profiterole" in France and costs a bundle. Tell everyone it took just HOURS to make. And, of course, there's always ice cream. To impress 'em with ice cream, drizzle creme de menthe and creme de cacao over French vanilla ice cream.

Or just buy a pie and heat it up some.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: MMario
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:46 PM

I can not cook with the best of them!

Drive to favorite restaurant.
Order.
eat.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:47 PM

Mint Julep

2 oz. Aged Kentucky Bourbon
1 tbsp. simple syrup (recipe below)
Mint sprigs gathered from a faraway place at dawn
Crushed ice

1 c. fresh spring water
1 c. sugar
1 bunch fresh mint sprigs gathered as above

Throw away all the ingredients except the Bourbon. Drink and enjoy.

(poetic license taken from Henry Watterson)

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:48 PM

I dunno, BW -- I think Mudlark has her ear closer to the ground nor you -- these days they have white whine at the Price Club that is right up there with Hellman's. $5/quart and take two aspirin before morning.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:49 PM

Cool your favorite drink in a can with a fire extinguisher, CO2-type.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:57 PM

Oh, while I think of it

DO NOT attempt to hard boil eggs faster by using a deep fryer - you get explosive results.

I didn't always use to be a good cook, it took lots of learning and mistakes...

Rapaire,
Aussie AJs were issued with white blocks of cooking substance fuel that used to stink like hell. Smart AJ's (not completely an oxymoron!) used to prefer wood fires - less obvious smell. Not sure if the white stuff would explode...

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:59 PM

Watermelon

Observe when your neighbor leaves home. Run to his garden, pick up medium-sized, ripe watermelon, and run back home. Bust it on the driveway and eat with both hands. (It helps to wear iron pants just in case.)

Also good for sweet corn and tomatoes. But cook the corn first.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: open mike
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:24 PM

the egg/bread mixture we used to call toad in a hole
was done with holes cut with the edge of a juice glass
to make a round hole. and I was told the MRE stands for
Meals Rejected by Ethiopians. these days they come with
a majic heater (iron filings?) which you shake ( ithink)
and heat the rations with it...we often get these on the
fire line.
and my favorite amount of time to mucrowave any thing
is 1:35 cuz those numbers are all in a row--on the way
to the "start" button.
Ha the ads below are for recipe books..it must seem like
we need 'em...the mud cat one is great @!

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:30 PM

lunch at woodworking shop in hot summer months..

open can of *good* tuna (solid, Albacore type)...drain...dump onto lettuce, sprinkle with 'some' Kraft Catalina salad dressing..eat.

cool and cheap...(yeah, I stock up on the tuna on sales)

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Cluin
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:38 PM

When corn is in season, soak full ears, unshucked, in a bucket of water for a couple of hours.

Start a campfire. Build up some good coals.

Throw the wet ears of corn (still unshucked) into the coals.

When they start smoking, pull `em out, shuck `em, smear on butter, shake on salt & pepper and eat.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:38 PM

Sardines

Open sardines, put them in a bowl. Squirt lemon juice or vinegar on them to strip off the oil. Next, use your fingers to break up the sardines and remove the bones and guts. Put the good parts on crackers and devour.

When finished, add soap to the waste products and put them down the disposal or stick them in the freezer until garbage day.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:58 PM

Tuna sandwiches, one utensil method:

Spoon a tablespoon or two of sweet relish into a bowl. Give spoon a quick rinse if you're near the sink.
Spoon a generous tablespoon of mayonaise into bowl.

Open can of tuna
Drain tuna water into two custard cups and place on floor for cats. Try to put them where you won't kick them next time you cross the floor.

Using same spoon dig tuna from can, mix all ingredients together, spread on bread. Eat or put in plastic bag for your lunch.

Pick up the damned bowl you just kicked even though you swore this time you'd remember it was down there.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: SueB
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 12:13 AM

Pork Roast.

Buy biggest cheapest pork roast at store.
Remove from packaging, toss into crockpot.
Sprinkle with garlic powder and paprika - be generous.
Put lid on crockpot, turn crockpot on low, forget about
for 6 - 8 hours.

Serve with soft white bread and bottled BBQ sauce.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 07:16 AM

Leeneia - Remove bones and guts from tinned sardines indeed. They are the good bits. You'll be telling us you don't eat the bacon rind or apple cores next!

Anyway. My recipe for breakfast. Get bottle with leftover drink in. Drink it. Go back to sleep...

Cheers

:D

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: kendall
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 07:16 AM

New York omlette..steal two eggs...
Oh the toast recipe, be sure to remove bones...

You guys are pitiful! if you can read, you can cook!

My ex wife was a terrible cook, the garbage can had ulcers.

The flies in the yard took up a collection to get the screen door fixed.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:20 AM

Sangria

Take one jug.

Fill it 1/3 full of port or sherry, 1/3 full of red wine, and top up the last third with fizzy orange drink.

Put in two tines of John West strawberries, including syrup.

drink.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:52 AM

drink? I thought you only made it for your guests & I had assumed you tipped it out any leftovers.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:57 AM

Roast beef

go to deli
purchase

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:04 AM

The Sangria one reminded me of a discussion that Anthony Worral Thompson (UK TV Chef) was having with someone else on the radio. Other guy says for Bucks Fizz you take 1/2 Champagne and 1/2 good quality oranje juice.

No, no, say AWT. 2/3 Champagne, 1/3 OJ and then add some Quantro to make up for lost alcohol:-)

Cheers... hic

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:16 AM

Sorry. If it can't be cooked in a microwave, I can't help.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:19 AM

C-flat,

We always called the Toad in the Hole, Canadian Egg business the Egyptian Eye.....yummy whatever you call it!   :)

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:39 AM

All this talk about easy recipes and no mention of Minute Rice? What's wrong with you folks?
Boil a bag of Minute Rice, dump it on a plate. Saute some vegetables and ground meat, dump it on the rice, then put some store-bought salad dressing on it. Eat.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:45 AM

wow! you can use *two* pans?

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:49 AM

Sandra, what makes you think there'd be any leftovers when I'm there to drink it :-)

Come to think of it, it's been a while....

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 10:00 AM

hi guys

i have been catatonic for a few hours (or my computer has been). I got that recipe from a spanish nightclub. I do variants of it!

ANOTHER EASY RECIPE

sauce (makes anything taste good)

1 can corn, 1 can creamed corned, + light sour cream.

mix, pour over vegies/tofu/whatever, in last few minutes of steaming/frying.

I'm getting hungry...........

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Homeless
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 10:01 AM

Put water in pot. Boil noodles until you remember they're on the stove and run back into the kitchen. Drain noodles. Add 1 can cream of chicken soup and 1 can of chicken. Stir together. eat.
Gourmet option - top with sprinkle cheese

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Peg
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 10:18 AM

oh, my...this is just blasphemous. Ilove it!
I always have a lot of dishes to do, even though I live alone. I use a lot of dishes cooking.

My favorite quick snacks/meals though:

(mind you I do not own a microwave)

Saltine crackers dipped in milk (my mom's favorite)
Tortilla/Corn chips with Salsa
Pita bread with hummus
Cheddar cheese melted on buttered toast in the broiler
Fast Fettucine Alfredo (melt butter, add milk or cream and Parmesan cheese, pour over pasta)
Nacho dip: MeltedVelveetaand Salsa on tortilla corn chips
Celery sticks with peanut butter
Butter spread on saltines (or Stoned Wheat Thins)

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 10:19 AM

Easy and quick lunch:

Get some good crackers

Get some sliced cheese

Get a stick of good salami

place crackers on plate, cut cheese to fit crackers, slice sausage and place on each cracker.

Open canned peaches, spoon a few and some juice into a bowl.

To make the meal look more elegant, pour your can or bottle of beer into a wine glass.

Dessert option: add York peppermint patties to the place setting.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 10:44 AM

PROPER WAY TO EAT TORTILLA CHIP CRUMBS

You know. You've been there too. You open a bag of tortilla chips. First you eat all the whole chips. Then you eat the broken chips in order of diminishing size until you're left with a bunch of little broken pieces that aren't worth the trouble. What to do?

Throw the chip crumbs into an bowl. Pour some salsa over them. Add an amount of sour cream roughly equal to the amount of salsa. Stir. Eat with a spoon before it gets too soggy.

If you happen to have had tacos the night before and have leftover refied beans or browned ground beef in the fridge, you can heat some up and throw it in the mix as well.

Also, if you have a container of sour cream with just a couple of ounces left in it, you can even eliminate the bowl by just mixing everything up in the sour cream container.

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Peg
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 10:46 AM

Bruce; oh my gosh; my secret is out...how did you find out?

SRS: too funny!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 12:55 PM

Chicken Surprise

4 British bangers fried
1 Tin campbells condensed Mushroom soup
Heat together in pot.

Ergo the surprise......NO CHICKEN

John

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: kendall
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 01:20 PM

I've started taking a "Carb blocker" if it works, I'll letyou know. Judging from some of the time bombs I've seen here, you all need it.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: DMcG
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 01:28 PM

Dial your local Indian/Chinese/Whatever takeaway.

Order a number #, where # is any number between 1 and 50, because you can't remember what they are anyway.

Wait for it to turn up.

Eat.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 03:27 PM

Ah heck Bruce,

I was waiting for you to say that you shake the bag to one side so all the tiny crumbs slide over in one corner, make a spout out of the top of the back, tilt your head back and dump them in..LOL!

Gotta admit...your ways sounds MUCH better!!! But hey....with my stategy, I'm bound to make a mess on the floor with all those crumbs....er...wait a minute...I mean a nice little treat for my dog!   LOL.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 03:34 PM

Do not microwave eggs. A friend of mine tried it and ended up buying a new microwave. That is, eggs in the shell. The steam builds up and they explode.

Always drain the can of tuna, especially if it's packed in oil.

My Law Of Cooking: Nontoxic in, nontoxic out: it might taste like old crap boiled in used motor oil, but it won't kill you.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 03:41 PM

DISCLAIMER: The following discussion assumes that the reader makes tuna salad with real mayonnaise, not some artificial whipped crap. If you are a pseudo-naise user, you need read no further.

Tuna (not the "good" stuff like BillD uses, but the ordinary everyday stuff most of use) comes packed in water or packed in vegetable oil, right? So ya buy the tuna packed in water 'cause it's supposed to be healthier, right? Then ya, drain the water off and add mayonnaise to it when you make tuna salad, right? Well, what's mayonnaise? Mostly vegetable oil! Why drain water and add vegetable oil when ya coulda bought it with vegetable oil in the first place?

So, when this non-chef prepares tuna salad he uses one can of tuna in water, one can of tuna in oil, and about a third as much mayonnaise as he would if using tuna in water all the way. That's still enough mayonnaise to make it look creamy and white instead of transparent and anemic.

The only problem with this system is that there's only about an ounce of tuna water to give the cats and there are four of them to fight over it.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 03:50 PM

Don't even microwave eggs that are out of their shells. My ex-wife put an undercooked hard-boiled egg that had already been peeled in the microwave to finish cooking the yolk. It waited 'til she opened the microwave door to explode. It happened so fast she didn't have time to instinctively blink her eyes closed and wound up with eyeballs full of hot egg yolk.

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: jeffp
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 04:14 PM

I saw an egg explosion happen one time. It was amazing. A woman had put two eggs into the microwave in the break room at work. The resulting BOOM! blew the microwave door open. Fortunately, nobody was hurt. Helluva mess though.

If you want to microwave eggs, be sure to pierce the yolk with a skewer first. This should prevent the explosion.

BTW, Fritos dipped in strawberry cream cheese make a tasty snack. So do Saltines spread with mint jelly.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: GUEST,M'Grath of Altcar
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 04:33 PM

Scaffolders breakfast:

Beans on toast

with a fried egg (or two) on top

Sprinkle liberally with cheese

Put under grill so cheese melts into the egg.

Heaven!

I'm going to make one right now

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:41 PM

I microwave eggs all the time.

You can even buy a special "m/wave egg poacher" gadget. You put a little water and vinegar, the egg, pierce yolk, close lid and it takes a minute or so.

Scrambled eggs is easy - eggs should not be cooked on full power - same for cheese.

The yolk will explode if the membrane is not broken.

There is a m/wave variation on the "egg in hole in bread" thing.

You need 2 pieces of bread, one with the hole. Butter both slices, place whole slice butter up on plate, top with holey slice with butter down - this makes a seal - place egg in - break yolk, sprinkle sheese (no, will leave that typo!) over egg, any spices or salt, then top with small cutout piece butter side down, top with slice of cheese if desired, or use the sliced "cream cheese" stuff. Then zap for a minute or so until egg is sufficiently cooked. (Slightly runny is nice).

This can also be done on one of those sandwich maker things with a top and bottom plate, this sorta toasts the bread. Method is sufficiently similar that even you lot should be able to figure it out. Do not put any cheese externally on this one - you might try a cheese slice between the two bread slices before the egg goes in the hole.

You can also do this in those "snack maker" thingies that clamp the bread around the edges - this makes a good filling for them. You do NOT cut the hole - and you must put the butter, marg, or even spray oil/whatever on the OUTSIDE of the bread slices.

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:08 PM

Drain the oil from tuna that comes in cans.

Someone very, very close to me -- someone with an IDENTICAL genetic pattern, in fact -- once made (instant) mashed potatoes and wanted to put creamed tuna on them. So some milk and margarine into a pan, add the tuna (and oil), heat, add some flour and stir like made until it thickens.

If it's not thick enough, add more flour. If you add enough flour it doesn't pour, so you add milk to thin it.

When the proportions of milk and flour are correct, pour it on the mashed and eat.

Something in this recipe makes the oil cause scours.

You also end up with a LOT of creamed tuna...a lot!

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:26 PM

A very simple treat for the kids.

Spread a liberal amount of butter or margerine on one side of a piece of bread.

Place bread on counter (butter side up) and sprinkle liberally with sugar. 1/8 inch thick is probably excessive, but anything less is okay.

Sprinkle with ground cinnamon.

Place under broiler (butter side up) until edges of the bread start to brown.

Remove carefully. (Hot butter and sugar can stick and burn)

If you do it while warm, you can cut into squares - about 4 to 6 per bread slice, or eat a whole slice.

Eat while warm.

It may be nostalgia, but we only got this as kids when we'd been very good, hence it was a very rare treat.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:39 PM

JohnInKansas,

In Oz, we used to use 'hundreds & thousands' which are tiny coloured sugar sprinkles on top of buttered bread for kids parties when I was a kid.

Did this for my goddaughters birthday - none of the kids would touch it - only the adults had a slice for nostalgia's sake...

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:44 PM

I like potatoes raw, sliced with a bit of salt and pepper. The PEI red ones are best.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Tinker
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 07:13 PM

John in Kansas, my Pepere used to fix us brown sugar sandwiches.
Toast two piece of white bread, quickly slather with generous amounts of butter and liberal amounts of brown sugar, combine as a sandwich and cut into triangles.

Over the fire we used to make "Mock Angel Food Cake" Take Wonder bread and dip both sides quickly in sweetened condensed milk, sprinkle the top with shredded coconut -- toast til lightly brown.

Kathy

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 07:33 PM

John..Cinnamon toast is part of my most treasured memories! (and 'sometimes' the sugar was over 1/8" thick!)


SRS--you mention putting the tuna water down for the cats...we used to use it to coat the drt cat food we wanted them to eat, but we learned there are some cautions...
tuna problems

I guess it should be a rare treat..

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 07:34 PM

The various "sugar toasts" come in an amazing variety of recipes, but we always considered those kids somewhat "deprived" who had been taught to toast the bread and then sprinkle the stuff on them. Its the toasting, with the sugar and butter already applied, that makes the "glaze" that's really tasty.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: C-flat
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 07:47 PM

Don't even microwave eggs that are out of their shells. My ex-wife put an undercooked hard-boiled egg that had already been peeled in the microwave to finish cooking the yolk. It waited 'til she opened the microwave door to explode. It happened so fast she didn't have time to instinctively blink her eyes closed and wound up with eyeballs full of hot egg yolk.

My ex-father-in-law did that very thing when we were holidaying in Florida but even after the explosion, which had us all diving for cover, he picked up a large egg fragment from the microwave and popped it in his mouth. BANG!!!!.........Blew his false teeth across the room!
We laughed so hard I nearly shit myself!
C-flat.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:25 PM

The Secrets of Gravy Revealed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gravy is a sort of sauce that adds flavour, and can be filling and cheap. Good gravy can be a "pig out" "comfort food", especially if soaked up with bread.

Gravy is basically made with flour, that is mixed with a little water and then cooked slowly. The mixture then thickens. Keep stirring to prevent burning or "clagging".

There are lots of "packet mix gravies" out there, but the basic thing is so easy to make that you can tailor the type of flour (for allergies), the salt level, the thickness and the taste.

I learned to make gravy the classic way as a kid. We used to have a regular roast - usually beef, but also lamb, pork, or chicken. When cooked, the meat was placed on a plate. Before slicing, just cooked meat must be allowed to stand for 15 mins or so - this allows the moisture to redistribute itself, and makes the meat more tender, and easier to slice - the heat also keeps travelling inwards, and keeps cooking the inside. The gravy can be prepared while the standing takes place.

The oven tray/pan was then checked for juices - excess fat removed, a little water added if necessary, and placed on the stove top - GENTLE HEAT. A little flour was mixed with water, then added to the pan, and the mix stirred constantly over a low heat. The stirring is necessary as otherwise, it can burn or go lumpy.

The greater the amount of thickener added, the thicker the gravy. Too much and you end up with a dough - actually a "Roux" - the sort of thing you make some types of bread, buns and sauces from. But that's getting off the topic, although that is the "intertwingularity" of life.

You can add wheat flour, or really any other kind of plain flour, such as corn flour, probably even rice flour, but I personally have never used this, also arrowroot can also be used as a thickener, but some purists may not call that "gravy". You can also use those powdered or flaked style mashed potato. Gravy and mashed potato go well together. If absolutely desperate, "self raising" flour might be used, but it will froth and foam like a mad thing, possibly spilling over the pan, and you may find that the raising agent adds a taste, and affects saltiness.


Colour of Gravy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paler colour gravy goes well with "whiter" meats like pork and veal, and possibly chicken. Darker colour gravy goes well with "red" meats like beef.

Normally the cooking residue at the bottom of the roast pan contains caramelised stuff that gives the brown colour, and some flavour. If making gravy without a roast, you can cook the flour a little longer, which will darken the gravy a little, or you can traditionally add "Gravy Browning" called "Parisian Essence". Other things can be added, even Marmite (OH NO! - it's another Marmite thread!).

For the "Pig Out With Bread" (you can use toast, but a thinner gravy soaks into toast easier) - I like a nice dark thick gravy. Very filling.


Flavour of Gravy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When prepared as above, the roasted meat juices add flavour. Without them, you can use "stock" - basically a thin soup - which you can get in various flavours as a prepared liquid or powder form - even the old "soup cubes". You can even find a multipack of the single serve type that you can get sauces in that you squeeze. You can add Bonox, (mixes easier than Marmite), or anything else that you prefer, soy sauce, Worschester, etc.

Just watch the salt content of your additives, you can get carried away.


Cooking with gravy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Even KFC supply a "form" of gravy....

You can serve side dishes of veges such as peas, etc with mashed potato to spin out or cost cut. You can even cook for more than one this way.

Sausages and gravy.
Cook the sausages, place on plate, make gravy, replace sausages, warm them again, serve with side dishes of veges, etc.

Sliced meat and gravy.
We used to do this with the left over roast meat. The new batch of gravy (could use the batch made when the roast was served warmed up, if any left - but usually there wasn't!) would be made from scratch in a frypan, then the cold slices cut from the roast in the fridge warmed in the gravy. We used to add bread, green vegs, even mashed potato on the side. Very cheap, especially with a bowl of canned tomato or other soup, and very filling and satisfying on a cold evening.

Ribs and gravy.
Pork, beef, veal, etc "ribs" - some types of which in Oz may actually be closer to US "Pork belly" or stomach or skirt strips - which may actually have NO bones in at all. Brown meat slightly, make basic gravy, re-add meat and simmer gently until meat cooked. This sort of thing you can add vegetables to as well - you are getting close to a stew here. The trick is SLOW cooking for these cuts - close to braising. You can start with the meat straight from the freezer - just allow sufficient time to cook properly.

Chops and gravy - you get the idea.


A tip on the veges added to the mix while cooking ribs as per above: you can get "Dryslaw" which is the basic sliced/chopped ingredients for coleslaw without the white creamy sauce - for singles this is an effective cheapish way of buying small amounts of mixed vegetables that you can use before they go off. This stuff is in larger chunks than the size in the KFC "Coleslaw - well that's what they call it" stuff.

Most of these dishes can be prepared in a frypan, especially if you have some sort of lid/cover to keep the steam in while cooking slowly. Take the lid off until the gravy is well blended and cooked, then simmer gently with lid on if needed to cook other ingredients.

AND NOW...

My favourite....

Bread and Gravy.
Make the gravy, flavoured how you will, and either immerse the bread in the pan briefly - it will start to fall apart if left to long - or pour the gravy over the bread in the plate/dish, or place in bowl/cup and dip bread/toast. Filling and cheap.


Robin

Intertwingularity is not generally acknowledged — people keep pretending they can make things deeply hierarchical, categorizable and sequential when they can't. Everything is deeply intertwingled.
— Theodore Holm (Ted) Nelson
(A Famous Computer Nerd)

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:37 PM

Never had a problem with eggs exploding - but then I read the instructions... :_0 they call me "RTFM Robin" :-)

I never zap eggs on full power. I always leave them sit for a bit after finishing a couple of minutes - if you jiggle them that will provoke the explosion. RTFM.

It is the same with "superheating" water in the microwave. never had a problem. RTFM.

NEVER zap plain water for ANY longer than it really needs to get drinkably hot - you can SUPERHEAT water - and get hurt real bad! RTFM.

NEVER boil water, let it cool then reboil it in the m/wave - you have removed all the tiny dissolved particles of air, and the water will go ABOVE 100 deg Celcius and NOT BOIL!!!! - until you agitate it - or add sugar or coffee. Then it will explode out of the cup, right in your face. RTFM.

If making coffee, add the sugar, and even the instant coffee while cold and stir it. This will give the water some impurities to start to form bubbles around. I also add the milk before hand.

If making tea with a teabag in a cup/mug, don't overheat the water, take care when dropping in the teabag in case the water boils.

from
RTFM Robin.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:55 PM

BTW, I forgot.

Adding flour to water is how one makes old fashioned "Clag" style glue. Make sure you cook your gravy slowly and keep stirring.

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:56 PM

Bill D, I have amazing cats. They get Science Diet dry food, and there are two or three types they prefer. I usually mix the regular with some light and some hairball stuff. They actually PREFER their cat foot to human food. They won't eat the tuna, they just want the water. Notable exceptions: Clementine likes beef jerky. Mowgli wants one bite (no more, no less) of your cookie if you're eating one of the sandwich variety (like Snackwells).

Rap, what the hell does this mean? Something in this recipe makes the oil cause scours.

What is/are "scours," and why would oil cause this condition?

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Mudlark
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:58 PM

In response to Bee-dubya's sneer at white wine, I think Amos has a point. I know plonk in the UK is not dirt cheap, but here in the good ole U S of A...hello? Anybody tried Peter Vella in a box, 5 gal. or liters or whatever it is for $5. That's way cheaper than a lot of bottled water. And the point is not to EAT like trailer trash, but to COOK like trailer trash.

The grimest of wine will add a very good, not to say sophisticated, flavor to the most plebeian of canned goods, especially if allowed to simmer for a bit, cook down. Chef-Boyardee, Spaghetti-O's, the list is endless and includes all manner of canned beans as well. Added to F'troupe's gravies it gives them a touch of the sous chef, chablis for poultry, burgundy for red meats. And the red adds color to gravy as well, as does paprika. As the French say, presentation is all. White gravy tends to look like what it is...flour and water, which, in it's uncooked state, is known as library paste.

That is not to cast aspersions on F'stroupe's excellent paean to gravy. I agree with it entirely. Nothing like a mound of mashed potatoes (and I use the word mashed loosely...I smush mine up with an electric egg beater, using either a little of the potato water, or buttermilk if I have it), drenched in ANY kind of gravy.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 10:12 PM

Thanks,
Mudlark,

I forgot to specifically mention the wine... but did mention "anything to taste" in additions... :-)

Wine snobs say "never cook with a wine that is not good enough to drink" - OK, but if you have a "Trailer Trash" palate... who cares?
;-)

You can actually add certain spirits and liquers while cooking.

And I forgot to mention "mince" as one of the categories of meat to add to the simmering gravy.

"White" gravy - with flavour from a stock matches better with pork cops, IMO. :-)

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 10:25 PM

That Peter Vella wine is more like $13 for the five litres. I think that it actually keeps better in the bag in the box because air doesn't get into it. I usually buy a typical (750 litre) bottle of red wine, because I was told that to use it at it's best it should be finished in a week or less. I spoke with a liquor store guy tonight--even if it is a wine that is kept in the fridge, like a chardonay, it still has a practical life of about a week once the bottle is opened, he said. (I've had some around for a LOT longer than that--I guess I was cooking with vinegar!)

Robin, I didn't grow up around much gravy, only on rare meals like Thanksgiving for the smashed potatoes. We weren't much into it. (We do make turkey gravy these days for hot open-face turkey sandwiches.) But we loved French dip sandwiches so always kept the drippings from tender lean beef roasts and mixed in water and a little seasoning for the au jus.

Okay, you had to cook the roast--but it's easy. Stab it a few times with a knife tip, stuff in slices of garlic into those holes. Turn on the oven as hot as it will go without being on broil and let it heat completely. Put the roast in. Leave it on for 6 minutes per pound, then SHUT THE OVEN OFF and don't open the door and leave it like that for an hour. It's wonderful when it's done. If you want it less rare, do 7 min/pound.


SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:34 AM

Well, SRS, here's what Pfizer says about scours:

Clinical signs

    * Diarrhea
    * Dehydration
    * Rough haircoat
    * Weight loss, weakness
    * Death occurring the first five days of life is usually due to E. coli
    * Sudden death

It affects pigs, calves and other animals, like graduate students who don't drain the oil off the tuna before they add it to the milk-based cream sauce.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:48 AM

Rapaire,

Yuck. All of that from oil, eh? I used to make a marvelous salad that consisted of cooked spinach, cooked garbanzo beans (chick peas) and tuna in oil from which the oil is not drained. The three are mixed and it was wonderful. I've experienced no such reaction as described, but this is the only occasion I can think of that I've used the oil.

There are instances when things submerged in oil without properly heating it all (like those decorative bottles with a few whisps of herb and some plump cloves of garlic in the bottom) have produced lethal amounts of salmonella.

Back to the regularly scheduled thread:

An easy drink for a cold winter's evening: Faux-mulled cider.

Put some apple juice or cider into a mug. Drop in a half-dozen or more cinnimon candies ("Red Hots") and heat in the microwave. Don't boil the juice, but get close. Stir it for a little while after it's hot and the candies will disolve into the juice.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 01:00 PM

Come to think of it, the clinical signs pretty much apply to any graduate student....

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: freda underhill
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 09:47 PM

Faux satay sauce..


Take a mug, fill it 1/2 boiling water. Add a huge blob of peanut butter, a squish of soy sauce, and a blop of honey. Stir.

pour into pan of pre=fried veg, tofu etc


fred

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:08 PM

That's the spirit! Who needs measuring cups and tablespoons and that kinda crap? Blobs, squishes and blops were good enough for Cro Magnon Man and, by God, they're good enough for us!

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: freda underhill
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:27 PM

..you got it, BW!

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: JennieG
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 06:08 AM

Raisin bread toasted, then spread with jam (apricot is lovely but any sort will do) then topped with thickly spread (heaped?) fresh ricotta cheese from the local deli. Butter is superfluous. Not only that, it's not needed.
That's the gourmet JennieG version of raisin toast.
Cheers
JennieG who has raisin ricotta toast for breakfast

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 03:40 PM

Buy bread....eat. The end. it never goes wrong ;o0

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 09:00 PM

Some cooking involved in this one, but not much:

Get a pack of dry Lipton chicken noodle soup. Open the pack and set the noodles in a measuring cup and the chunk of boullion in a bowl.

Add rice to your measuring cup until it is 2 cups of rice and noodles.

Heat a deep skillet or a dutch oven (it needs a tight lid), add a little olive oil, and brown a few pieces of skinless boneless chicken. Mix in the dry stuff and heat the pan a few minutes longer so it kind of toasts the dry stuff and it soaks up the grease and oil from the chicken.

Boil some water. Add four cups of it to the bowl with the boullion chunk and break up the boullion. Add this to the pan with rice and chicken, cover and simmer, and come back in about 30 minutes with your plate and a fork.

To make it into a fancy recipe, drain a 6 ounce can of mushrooms and add them when you add the water.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 01:21 AM

Online cooking lessons at HGTV (US): FOOD DEMOS

Including these advanced techniques:
French a Rack of Lamb
Score Duck Breasts
Truss Poultry

Sick Mudcat minds should enjoy these!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 01:29 AM

Bruce, this has been a great thread--entertaining as well as educational. Thanks for starting it.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 06:49 AM

You should be warned:

The food site pointed to by WYSIWYG (no doubt innocently, unless someone spoofed that Mudcat login!) just above hammers you with Fake Green Card Lottery Popups, Cookies, foistware and G*d knows what else. I had to fight with it for a few minutes to make the nasty stuff stop, as some of my blocking stuff didn't deter it immediately.

If you visited it, you should perhaps check your system for trojans, viruses & foistware.

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 03:58 PM

Robin, most people with adequate security installed will not have a problem at that site. I'm sorry it troubled you.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: JennieG
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 08:13 PM

Susan,
Isn't there a law against some of those practices? Or are they only to be performed in private, in a a darkened room, between consenting adult persons?
Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 10:38 PM

Or at Mudcat Gatherings (and Taverns) in jello pits!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Cluin
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 11:02 PM

I only had one little pop-up window when I went to the foodnetwork.com site WYSIWYG posted. Easily closed and no others came up. I don't have ad-blockers or pop-up stoppers on my computer, just the free ZoneAlarm firewall.

But it's a useful site and I bookmarked it. Hey, it shows step-by-step how to bone a chicken. I can use that one. Thanks S.

Minds out of the gutter now!

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Metchosin
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 11:08 PM

SRS, if you can't finish all your wine within a reasonable time frame, pour it into ice cube trays and freeze it. Use a cube next time you want to add a little something to a gravy or stew or whatever.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 11:26 PM

Well, well, well... A hundred posts to this silly thing. And to think I almost chickened out 'cause it was too dumb an idea. Only shows to go ya...

Anyway, I just discovered something tonight. Canned spaghetti sauce makes darned good chili! I was going to make chili tonight and had the beans and ground beef all ready to go but, oops! No tomatoes, or tomato sauce. But there was an extra can of el cheapo Del Monte traditional style spaghetti sauce. Did I feel like making a 20 mile round-trip to town to get some tomato sauce? No way! So I threw that can of spahetti sauce in the pot, added a can of water and, viola! Chili! Who said you can't have oregano and basil in chili?

Now, here's the really cool part. Guess what's for dinner tomorrow night? Spaghetti. And guess what's gonna be used for spaghetti sauce? You got it. The leftovers from tonight's chili. Who said ya can't have kidney beans, cumin and chili powder in spaghetti sauce?

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 12:59 AM

Hahaha! Bruce, you're a hoot!

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 08:58 PM

Before this thread goes off in the wilds...........anothere Ramen Noodle thing for those who like Sesame Noodles or Phad Thai....

Boil the noodles and drain.   Sprinkle with Sesame Oil (better if you buy the "Hot" Sesame Oil). Add a bit of Soy Sauce and "some" or all of the spice packet. Stir this together and then add a blop of peanut butter. It takes a bit to work in the peanut butter but that's the end. If you like it hot and spicy, throw in crushed cayenne peppers. This stuff is amazingly good!!! I generally whip up 4 packs at a time and give a bowl each to the kids before I add the peppers. We all 3 have lunch for about a buck.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: RichM
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 10:04 PM

This one tastes so good, it might be disqualified as a non-cook's recipe. But it's quick and easy, so I think it belongs here...

Put some olive oil or butter in a pan. Place on stove, turn on heat to medium.
Put in one can of "Aylmer Accents" Italian style stewed tomatoes.
Heat till it starts to bubble, turn down heat a notch.
Crack several eggs (2 per person), or to your taste; cook till the eggs are done the way you like 'em.

Serve with toast or bagels preferably.

Goes nicely with white wine...

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 11:01 PM

'Spaw, I've made full-fledged stir fry with ramen noodles. The trick is to cook them in water for only two of their three minutes. Drain them, and meanwhile have a skillet with whatever you wanted to slice or dice (I usually use green onions, mushrooms, garlic, carrots, and a little broccoli, all cut in about half-inch pieces, and add some canned shrimp or a little diced chicken). Stir fry until that stuff is ready, then at the last minute add the ramen and some soy sauce and stir it a few times.

You could use tahini if you don't have peanut butter for that ramen mix of yours (yeah, I know, like everyone has tahini and no one has peanut butter).

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 11:09 PM

Thanks to SueB, who put in the recipe for pork roast with garlic and paprika. I made it yesterday, and it was delicious. Baked it in the oven though, because it had been frozen and I feared that it would produce a lot of liquid in the slow cooker and wash all the paprika off.

At 88 cents a pound I'm sure it fulfilled the order for "the cheapest pork roast you can buy."

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 11:37 PM

Oooh, that's good--the next phase, Bruce: Testimonials! There could be some really interesting reading in these pages over the next few days.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 06:01 PM

Ah yes. Bulls Testimonals, lightly fried...

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Burke
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 08:04 PM

Select pre-cooked, boneless ham from meat case in supermarket. Take to meat counter & ask them to slice it to the thinkness you like. I don't think they'll shave it like in the deli, but will do thin to thick slices.

If they aren't busy they do it for free & your sliced ham is much cheaper than the same stuff from the lunchmeat section.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: GUEST,Tracey Dragonsfriend
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 01:02 PM

I'm an IT technician, and this is our department's signature recipe :


Technical Toast

Note – This procedure should only be attempted by a qualified Toast Technician.

You need :         Flat bread product (or flat bit sawed from chunk of bread), butter, topping

Also :        Some form of incineration device


Procedure :
Remove flat bread product from wrapper. Examine bread for foreign objects, green/while/blue areas & remove these where necessary. Random furry bits are not recommended for eating, and should also be removed. Ensure that butter is approaching room temperature. If it is rock-like, spreading it on your toast will be difficult - warm it first. You can nuke it (for a second or two - more will result in liquefication) if necessary.


Examine your chosen incineration device, and proceed accordingly -

If a toaster :
Plug in toaster, switch on at socket. If sparks & a nasty buzzing sound ensue, suspect inappropriate dampness and seek alternative incineration method. If rewarded by a lack of noise, or indeed anything else, insert flat bread into obvious bread-receiving slots on top (it will only go in a limited number of ways round - any of these are likely to be fairly successful) of toaster. Set brown-ness dial to a random number, and depress lever to lower bread. Ignore until bread goes "Spung!" and emerges ad high speed.

If a grill :
Turn on grill at "High". If it's a gas grill, do remember to light it, or the following steps will result in at best a lack of toast and a funny smell, and at worst the arrival of the fire brigade. Wait until the flames are nicely blue & flickery, or the elements are glowing beautifully red (if you manage the reverse, call me - you may have discovered something saleable). In the meantime, locate the grill-pan, or insert a suitably shaped bit of chicken-wire or other flat & holey object under the grill. Place the bread in the flat object & slide under the grill.

If a blowtorch :
Knock two 4" (or longer) nails about 1" into the wall. Impale bread on nails. Light blowtorch (avoiding ignition of curtains, sleeves, or other inflammable materials) and play flame evenly over bread until brown. Black is bad.

If a lighter :
Proceed as for Blowtorch. But note that this doesn't work…


Watch the bread in a hawk-like fashion for signs of incipient browning - a light summer suntan is ideal. Flabby February-fishbelly-white is not ideal - keep watching. Charcoal is also not ideal - this state arrives earlier than expected. (Either eat it for the sake of good digestive health, or us it as missiles to annoy the pigeons.) If only one side appears to be crispy and coloured, this is probably due to your choice of incineration device - turn the bread over and repeat the process.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Homeless
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 01:53 PM

Aw, geez. No one said that technical recipes were okay.


1.) 532.35 cm³ gluten
2.) 4.9 cm³ NaHCO₃
3.) 4.9 cm³ refined halite
4.) cm³ partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5.) 177.45 cm³ crystalline C₁₂H₂₂O₁₁
6.) 177.45 cm³ unrefined C₁₂H₂₂O₁₁
7.) 4.9 cm³ methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein ovoids
9.) 473.2 cm³ theobroma cacao
10.) 236 cm³ de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 BTU/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two, and three with constant agitation.

In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous.

To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1.

Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.

Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300x600 mm).

Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.

Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 02:04 PM

Lay a peice of bread on top of a lampshade. Light the light bulb. Any bulb will at least warm the bread, and larger ones will toast it quite nicely. Butter it or jam it if you got it.

Oh. Yeah. Keep an eye on it, and it's best to use a lampshade with a hole in the top SMALLER than the peice of bread.

You can use a lightbulb to warm a lot of things.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 02:36 PM

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, here are some technical-type cooking recipes. I'll provide links instead of recipes, though.


Grapes.
Poptarts.
Pickles.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 03:16 PM

Thanks for the links, Rapaire! "In the future, we recommend that toasters be sold in six-packs to accomodate important SPT research."

I'll go get a rag and clean the tea off of my keyboard now. I spilled it while I was laughing.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 04:24 PM

Here's another toasting method:

Under a rack, place a small amount of a mixture of finely powdered aluminum and ferric oxide in the proportions of 25.3% to 74.7% by weight, respectively.

Put a slice of bread on the rack.

Put a peice of magnesium ribbon in the mixture and light it. Stand back.   WAY back.

When the mixture burns it will burn at about 2300 degrees C., so watch so that your toast doesn't burn.

Turn over and repeat for the other side.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: freda underhill
Date: 29 Jan 04 - 03:57 PM

Take one extremely hot day

scrub then hose down concrete path in backyard

sun should dry out path in about 45 secs

Take some mixed grains of any sort and soak overnight.

add wholemeal flour (rye, wheat, whatever)a pinch of celery salt & maybe some carraway seeds

chuck in a bit of oil , stir & blend thru w fingerstips til evenly spread, add a small amount of water.

mix til dough has rubbery consistency

pull off ping pong ball sized knobs of dough and roll out Very thin with a rolling pin.

place on washed, sun dried concrete path in inner city back yard, leave in sun to bake until crispy

add butter, a cool drink and deckchairs... delicious!

(a friend cooked me some of these in Redfern in the early 80s ... yum..)

fred

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Jan 04 - 05:40 PM

Take, egg place in frypan, place on concrete (or better - black asphalt) footpath in Brisbane in heat of brisbane Summer.

Remove when cooked, enjoy.

Robin